MoSprinkles

That's me!

[kleeklutch]

[rikusqueenofhearts]

[balillee-deactivated20260220]

happy pride month to country mama lynn and country mama lynn only

[iampattonsanders]

Someone give this woman a damn crown and medal

[ruinedchildhood]

[dovv]

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]

[wakandamama]

[blackfemmejeanvaljean]

I knew it was gonna be bad when she mentioned the theater department got involved

[ahagisborn]

was just Remembering how you’d be out with a friend and you’d each order a different cocktail and you’d ask “what’d you get?” and they’d read the description off the menu and you’d be like “ooh that sounds good” and then they’d say “try it!” and then you’d have a lil sip of their drink and they’d have a lil sip of your drink and you’d decide which one was best and you wouldn’t give each other a life-threatening respiratory infection

[littlegoldfinchh]

Hey guys so I'm at a sleepover and I'm an early bird so I photoshopped Dolly Parton holding the Holy Moonlight Sword to pass some time

[mosprinkles]

When I first met my fiance, we were just coworkers. One day, his buddy came into the office and said, "Hey, be nice to [fiance]. It's his birthday and his girlfriend forgot."

Absolutely sucky.

Now, I go big for his birthday every year, even if he "doesn't want anything special". I never want him to feel like he did that day ever again.

[mosprinkles]

Is there a word for the melancholy you feel when it feels like you could be in the Christmas spirit, but it's not Christmas, and you wish you could save it because you're never in the Christmas spirit on the actual day?

[mosprinkles]

I'm sorry, but this is one of those weird questions that popped into my head and I can't stop thinking about it. It's also not something I can post a Facebook poll for, really.

Do vegans who perform blowjobs swallow? Is sperm considered an animal product?

Really, any insight is helpful.

[byjove]

Me: *Removes my cat from my lap to do something else.*

My cat: Father is...evil? Father is unyielding? Father is incapable of love? I am running away. I am packing my little rucksack and going out to explore the world as a lone vagabond. I can no longer thrive in this household.

[cryoverkiltmilk]

The spiritual successor to Miette

[manicgoblinnightmarewoman]

Might I also add

[shydestinybread]

May i add the piece from artist Verbal Vomit

[unyanizedcatboys]

Glad to see we’re all in agreement that cats talk like disparaged victorian children

[explorerrowan]

I am so incredibly glad we finally moved on from "i can has". Cats are clearly smart enough for advanced sentence structure and dumb enough to draw entirely incorrect conclusions about what they're talking about.

[dualclock]

My cat, banging the cabnet door over and over and over: bang bang bang

Me: you will not earn what you desire by banging the cabinet door.

My cat: This is a test of wills, is it not? We shall see if your ability to put up with my incessant banging outlasts my eternal lust for snackie treats. Years of conditioning have hardened me for this purpose. bang bang bang

Me: ksst!

My cat, throwing herself to the ground like she's been shot: Oh! Oh I have been assailed in my own home! Have mercy, have pity! Surely in the cruel darkness of your heart there is some mote of goodness that might stay your hand! Do not strike me, I pray you!

Me: ok

My cat, after waiting about 3 minutes: bang bang bang

[notcaycepollard]

[callmebliss]

Can haz snackytreat

[ladyshinga]

(source)

[dogsrulepeopledrool]

Source

[fandom]

This post is the most reblogged post of the year! Congratulations!

[byjove]

We did it Tommy!

[continuants]

Tommy!!!!! Tommy is the VIP!!!!!!

[thisisevenharderthannamingablog]

I think about this post at least once a week.

[whitepeopletwitter]

[thomasflamel]

[fanonical]

harry: i want to go to hogsmeade

mcgonagall: sorry, potter, you need signed permission from your guardian

harry: i want to not be in the triwizard tournament

dumbledore: aw, but the magic will be sad. you don't want to make the magic sad, do you harry?

[jupitersmusings]

good things will happen 🧿

things that are meant to be will fall into place 🧿

[overlord-fire-bubble]

THIS ONE FUCKING WORKS. REBLOG IT.

[essenceofrose]

Okay I reblogged and got into the entrepreneurship program I wanted. This WORKS

[canadianstuck]

One of the funniest things I ever experienced was when I went to go see John Mulaney live, and halfway through a bit about how expensive college in the States is, he looked down at the sleeve of his suit jacket and just. stopped. dead halt, mid sentence.

And after like three seconds, where we’re all trying to figure out the punchline because the story clearly hadn’t ended, and John Mulaney quietly says, “Has there been tinfoil on my buttons the whole goddamn show?”

He’d taken his suit to the drycleaner, and they’d wrapped the buttons on the sleeves and the coat with tinfoil to protect them, and John Mulaney didn’t notice until half-way through his set, and was SO FLABBERGASTED that he never did finish the story about college and instead did five minutes on how stupid it was that his buttons were reflecting the light and he just didn’t notice, and in that moment I understood more about John Mulaney as a person than I ever have.

[ournameisfun]

during one of his portland shows, he noticed this like 7 year old girl in the front row and asked her (and her parents) if she ‘is aware that she is physically here right now’ or if she was just brought along. turns out her favorite john mulaney bit is the “and I’m new in town” bit and that she’s seen all his stuff. He was so shocked and discomforted by the fact a SEVEN YEAR OLD has seen his shows, that he couldn’t get through a bit about donating to charity without interrupting himself at least three times to import good life lessons on this small child, as if that makes up for all the horrible things he’s said that she heard

[sammysausage]

When I saw him in Ft. Lauderdale, there was a bar in the lobby that people kept leaving to go to. At one point, a guy in the front row just got up and BOOKED IT to get drinks. John Mulaney looked over at a woman who was next to the empty seat and asked, “Are you with him? What’s his name?”

She was, in fact, with him, and she did tell him her date’s name. John Mulaney considered this, looked around, and unplugged his microphone. Leaning in to us, he told us that we were going to trick this guy so fuckin hard. He said, “At some point during the show, I am going to stop and say, ‘Well, you guys know what they say here in Ft. Lauderdale,’ and then you guys are all going to scream back ‘WE LOVE MILKSHAKES!’ He’ll be so confused.”

He then continued on with the show as normal, the drinks guy returned to his seat, and that was that for quite a long time. We thought he had forgotten about it until, at some point during what I believe was his McDonald’s drive-thru bit, he shrugged his shoulders and said, “You guys know what they say here in Ft. Lauderdale…”

Naturally, we erupted with “WE LOVE MILKSHAKES” and John Mulaney SWUNG around to face the drinks guy and said, “I bet you’re real confused now, huh, JASON?!”

[windyvalleyzone]

ah so john mulaney is a chaotic neutral cryptid

[jxhn-mulaney]

i saw him last night and there was a good ten minute interlude where a woman told him everything she found wrong with his suit, including that his pants were too high waisted to which he replied “that’s where my hips are” and someone in the back shouted “look at that high waisted man he’s got feminine hips!” and he yelled back “that’s my joke! i’m offended!!”

[lovelydeck]

I saw him live at my college. During his show he shouted something, which spooked a service dog in training that someone had brought with them (the dogs are common on campus, cause they are learning how to socialize and be in large crowds without reacting). Seeing the dog had been scared he apologized and asked the dog’s name. Upon hearing the dogs name was “Blanket” he about lost his god damn mind he was so happy. throughout the show he kept checking on Blanket. It was adorable.

[broadwaytheanimatedseries]

This is my favorite version of this thread now

[kaijuno]

Me: [getting up in the middle of the night to pee]

My cat: here comes your special boy!! Where are my kisses from mommy!! Why will you not let me sit on your lap??? WHY will you not let me lay in your pants. I will scream at the top of my lungs to show how unloved I am in this god forsaken household. I can not believe I am forced to live like this.

[headspace-hotel]

Nathan pyle’s newer comics are delightful

Also...these panels

[eh-i-might-delete-this]

@dustlines

The humor is ours.

[madejsbridge]

[cockyhorror]

I keep going back to watch this video it just captures my sense of humour perfectly

[shanexrayn]

Demön

[pettyartist]

When an NPC warns chaotic-aligned players to not do something