I canât stop thinking about how Will viewing his SA and his shame surrounding it heightens every emotion and all the hurt he feels in chapter 11. Like all of them questioning him not knowing what theyâre implying saying he still has vecna in him or Hopper saying Vecna doesnât have to take Will âall the wayâ to get inside his mind is really damaging Willâs psyche and corrupting his view of himself even more. And hopper saying he doesnât know what Willâs âbringing in with himâ is so insidiously disgusting considering Will is queer in the 80s and likely has heard about the AIDS epidemic and also already conceptualizes his SA as an infection/disease due to a failure of his own character.
Not to mention him discovering the person that had been comforting him as he isolated himself from everyone is actually also his rapist and a monster. He already thinks he attracted the monster and now he thinks that he let Henry groom him. Itâs awful and I feel so terrible for him my baby :(((
Thank goodness for Mike, Erica and Lucas because the way everyone stayed silent during Will literally having to relive his abuse was so heartbreaking and I could feel Willâs anguish so deeply. But even with that, by the end Will thinks at he is at fault for everything. And the fact that he is keeping in his SA out of shame while hopper spews shit like this is so so awful, I hope Hopper grovels. Or at least apologizes. I can understand his reasoning but he was yelling at a literal child. He has so much emotional maturity to inculcate. Itâs never okay to yell like that a kid, much less a traumatized one with a past of abuse. And he fucking knows all this đ«©đ«©
that whole scene is meant to feel disgusting because Will is hearing everything through the worst possible lens. Hopper thinks he is talking about possession, proximity, Vecna getting into Willâs head, all of that. but Will is hearing something much more literal because for him, it was literal. it was physical. it happened to him
and thatâs why lines like âhe doesnât have to take you all the wayâ and âwhat youâre bringing in with youâ are intentional. Hopper does not know what he is implying, but Will does. the room doesnât know the full context, but Will does. so every word lands in the most damaging place possible
this is also where the gothic part of the fic really matters to me. i know itâs a rewrite, and people naturally focus on the rewrite part, but at its core this is still gothic. the horror is in the implication, the double meaning, the thing said literally that becomes something else emotionally. the monster is not only outside the room. sometimes the room itself becomes monstrous because of what everyone refuses or fails to see
and yeah, with Will being queer in the 80s, the language of contamination, disease, infection, corruption, all of that is already there in the air around him. so when Hopper says those things, it feeds directly into the way Will already sees himself. dirty. infected. ruined. responsible
Hopper was wrong. he needs to apologize. he has a lot to answer for but i also wanted his reaction to feel realistic. he is a traumatized father watching El get hurt again. he watched Sarah die in a hospital bed, and now he is seeing another daughter bleed in front of him. that does not excuse what he did to Will. it just explains why he stopped thinking clearly
so yes, it is understandable, and still unforgivable in that moment, i think both things can be true :D
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