without saying a word, my forehead grows dark

Language is atonement, an appeasement of the speechless, the entombed, the daily assassinated, the countless dead.

[moteas]

Half of marriage is just saying, "hey, if you're awake I'm sorry I farted. Also...it's stinky. It's pretty bad. So I'm sorry for that too."

*butt grab the possibly sleeping wife*

[moteas]

Autistics at their best.

[fuckingterraza]

[moteas]

Dr. Temperance Brennan is basically me. All the time. I am just like her in terms of personality.

[moteas]

Thiiisss. So much this.

[moteas]

I hate this year so much and I hate everything right now

So I pretty much have 5.5 months to back pay $3394 in taxes plus whatever I have to pay for Q3 and Q4 taxes, which will be significantly less like Q2 because of my deductions but Q1 is really really fucking me. it's just that once again we finally started saving up enough money to move to CO and we have to spend majority of it because I failed to fully understand something that was never taught to me. Then we'll only have maybe 4 months or less to try and save at least $5000 in order to move, if we can move at all if my mom isn't dying. At least we won't have to pay it all up front like the beginning of the year but I just can't help but feel like a failure. I keep making it so much harder for us to get the fuck out of Texas and that's all we want to do and it's all because no one taught me how to do taxes or how to learn quick books correctly and my stupid job failed to keep up their promise of making me w2 so I'm just stuck learning as I go and fucking me, my wife, and our savings account out of everything we want because of it. I hate myself so much right now. I know I shouldn't but I really do.

[moteas]

Rumbling rant

Forever wishing people understood how easy it is to get overstimulated and overwhelmed and that I'm not refusing to do something or snapping at you because I want or mean to but simply that I need a few moments at the very least of silence and no activity to calm down or else I'm gonna freeeaaakk out! Even my wife who understands me so well can get so personally attacked when ive had a full day and I'm tired and have to prepare for fuller days to come, and I get home and its non stop talking, telling me to make a list, the dryer stopped working, clean out the fridge....GIVE ME A MINUTE! I AM OVERLOADED AND ITS NOT STOPPING. Please don't take offense, just please, please, give me a minute to process and calm down. Rant ended. I'm sure a lot of y'all can relate.

[olliesuniverse-blog1]

autism things

-I can use sarcasm all I want but if YOU do I’m gonna react as if you started speaking another language

-Realizing that crying all the time does not mean you are empathic or good with emotions

-singing the same song over and over again because echolalia

-also saying words you know you aren’t supposed to because they feel nice in your mouth

-stimming by screaming and getting “wtf” looks from everyone around you

-watching the same show every day and sometimes the same episodes over and over in the same day

-having a meltdown because you can’t do The Thing the way you originally planned

-having random bruises appear all over your body bc you’re clumsy and never feel when you initially get hurt

-wanting to do something but panicing because WHERE DO I START

-interupting people accidentally because you’re bad with conversations

feel free to add more

[moteas]

-asking people to tie your shoes because your so uncoordinated and you get overwhelmed

-not understanding the facial cues of someone who wants me to stop info-dumping

-seeming rude because you don't want someone you just met to touch you??? (How does that even seem rude???)

-friends saying they love how blunt you are until you say that one thing they didn't care for. EVEN THOUGH THEY ASKED YOUR OPINION.

[moteas]

Jesus fucking christ

So,

My mom has a mapping appointment and then the Y90 treatment scheduled for this Friday and next Wednesday. We have to be at the hospital downtown by 6am. Which means I have to wake up around 4:30 am and try as hard as I can to  make sure she’s awake and ready to get the fuck out of the house by 5:15 cuz she takes FOREVER to leave. 

When she asked her lazy asshole husband (who by the way was just complaining that we left him out of the details of her doc appts ((because im the one who has to manage everything for  her anyways)) he said he would be too busy to take her and have me pick her up afterward. The fucking dude doesn’t even leave for work until 9-10am majority of the time. The fuck. 

And when I complained to my brother how I just fucking LOVE handling every single thing by myself with NO help whatsoever from anyone, especially her own husband his reply was, “Well thanks for doing that. Sounds like he’s just being lazy” LIKE FUUUUUUUCK!

He’s so lazy that my mom had to hire a maid to clean the house (I’m working with 3 companies and taking her to every single appt and errand she has to run and getting her out of the house whenever I can or she has the energy.) He hardly ever takes the trash out, leaves trash everywhere, like....literal chicken bones just on the counter.

And naturally, when he found out she hired a maid he flipped shit on her for wasting money. Like bitch, she’s dying and I’m too busy/shit at cleaning. You are the only one making these messes. be a grown up and CLEAN AFTER YOURSELF.

Uggggh. I needed to vent. I’m so angry that no one is helping me with her care. I’m so angry at my step-dad. I hate him so much right now. I’ve hated him plenty of times cuz he’s a piece of shit, but the rage I feel for him now is so fucking deep I can’t stand feeling it. 

Fuck you Steve, fuck you. 

[desertchorus]

i love being an autistic weirdo. reblog if you too love being an autistic weido

[positivelyautistic]

[aceuserboxes]

This user flaps their hands when they’re excited!

[moteas]

Ugh, NT’s

Hate how many people automatically assume I don’t like them (I mean it’s usually accurate but I’m not gonna be a dick just to be one on purpose) because I need my space and don’t like to be touched and don’t make eye contact. Then I usually have to come out as autistic and explain and sometimes they reply with I’m sorry and i’m like, “don’t be sorry. Just understand and respect my needs and get that I have to warm up to people”

That in itself is exhausting.

[cydril]

Maori words minted for autism and mental health issues - BBC News

The Maori language of New Zealand has added new terms for disabilities and mental health issues.

The word they chose for autism is ‘takiwatanga’, meaning 'his or her own time and space’. How cool is that?

[discolor3d]

[elizabethjanevisuals-blog]

[sexhaver]

we’re all going to die

[chinuplittlepup]

[uncontrollableanus]

Actually me