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“Can you explain this gap in your employment?” I must confess I dilly-dallied. Did a bit of this and that. Yes, I lived an ungoverned life of leisure throughout my youth. But I’m a changed man, I’m to be married and my prospective mother-in-law insists I have an annual income of £500,000 or more if I’m to wed her daughter. Rummy luck. My paltry stipend from my father is a mere £40,000 a month. I am attempting to make up the difference by seeking gainful employment for the first time in my life. This sunglass shack is the only establishment that graced me with a callback.

roboco-san

there is a demon in your house named CARBON MONOXIDE. he enchants your mind with confusion and your body with exhaustion. you need to call a powerful exorcist named HVAC TECHNICIAN

andreabandrea

an 18-wheeler died on the side of the highway the other day. a pack of scavenging motorcycles was eating its carcass. one of them growled at me

rattlesnek

women and gender get the lifeboats first

beatlescomments

weaver-z

Yo mama is so kind she is my good friend

tonyzaret

gagglescorn

grab your peasant shirt and your candelabra, bitch. we’re going swimming in the lake

tangled-envisioning

santamariadellasalute

It will never pass.

ig: @ratsandlilies.art

nicholasbritel

Dinner Parties from Hell: A Trope IT: Chapter 2 (2019) // Shrek 2 (2004) // The Incredibles (2004) // Community (2009-2015) // Fleabag (2016-2019) // The Office (2005-2016) // The Umbrella Academy (2019-) // Pride & Prejudice (2005) // New Girl (2011-2018) // Hereditary (2018)