i love you. please keep fighting.

Ivy | 23 | they/them | emotional abuse, csa, & sexual assault survivor 🌸header: @putrid-pink 🌸all unrelated posts are under “unrelated tag" (i know i'm so original /s) 🌸main blog: @sapphoschld

[mourning-what-never-was]

hi angels! before you keep scrolling, please remember to eat something & fuel your body, stay hydrated, & take your meds today if you haven’t already! 💕💕💕

[traumasurvivors]

Even if it technically “could have been worse”, you still deserved better. Please don’t forget that.

[mourning-what-never-was]

things are getting bad again so here i am 😃

[renthony]

My teenager has more hours of homework per night than I got in my entire university career, and it doesn’t teach them a goddamn thing besides how to hate themself for not being able to do it all.

If my wife isn’t expected to labor outside her designated work hours at her literal job, why is my teenager expected to labor outside theirs?

[renthony]

If my kid has three hours of homework a night, that extends their work day to ELEVEN FULL HOURS. That’s inhumane. If an adult told me they were working eleven-hour days, I’d give them my wife’s number and tell them how to start unionizing. Like????

[official-lucifers-child]

fuck i never thought of it in terms of hours

[renthony]

This post is going around again, so I would like to tell every single adult making comments about the length of their own workday that you are also being exploited. You should also not be required to work so many hours. That’s just as inhumane as forcing the kids to do it.

“Oh but I work 12-hour shifts all the time–” You shouldn’t have to. I’m sorry your job is exploiting you so harshly. If you’re interested in unionizing, visit IWW.org or talk to your local/industry union rep.

[mintiesteas]

I literally couldn’t care less if we lose good bands and good movies if it means outing sexual predators. Let it all fall apart if that’s what it takes to stop allowing these disgusting people safe places to abuse their power. Fuck your favorite movies, fuck your favorite tv shows, fuck your favorite albums. Stop defending bad people because they make good content.

[oncelerfucker69-deactivated2019]

no apology in the world can redeem a sexual abuser. victims of sexual abuse suffer their entire LIFE because of it, while abusers might feel guilty at most.

keep this in mind before you praise famous men who admit to and apologize for sexually abusing people. they should feel bad. they should be rejected by society. they deserve no help or sympathy whatsoever.

[feelingsoftheday]

quiet can be so loud sometimes

[tiredoftheseblues]

[cunicular]

I think a lot of men don’t ‘believe’ rape victims not because they don’t think the man in question ever touched them, but because they’re so desensitized to sexual violence that they don’t believe that rape is really rape, they believe that it ‘isnt a big deal’ and shes ‘over reacting’ and it ‘wasnt even that bad’, so this ~poor man~ doesn’t deserve to have such a harsh word used to describe what he did, because to them, thats normal.

[problematicfeminist-deactivated]

This is exactly what I was talking about with my comment on the previous consent education post. 

A huge part of rape culture is that our culture sees sexual assault and rape as normal. Educating people that it’s NOT normal, that it’s actually violence, is one of the most important things we can do to stop rape. 

[closet-keys]

“When someone is accused of domestic violence or sexual assault, we are always asked by that person’s fans and defenders to “give them the benefit of the doubt.” Generally, this means, “Assume the survivor is lying or very confused” or “Assume the accused had a good reason to do what they did.” How about giving the benefit of the doubt to the survivor? Believe the survivor. Assume they are telling the truth unless there’s actually good evidence that they aren’t, because the vast majority of these types of accusations are not false. Assume that they are speaking out because they want safety and justice, not just because they want to “ruin” their abuser’s life or career. Assume the survivor stayed with their abuser for as long as they did because abusers deliberately make it difficult or even impossible to leave, not because the survivor is somehow weak, stupid, or incompetent. Assume the survivor was quite aware of the danger that they (and possibly their children) were in and doesn’t need to be patronizingly informed that staying with an abuser can be dangerous. So can trying to leave. Assume the survivor is the best authority on their own experience.”

— How to talk about the Ray Rice scandal without being a total jerk (via brutereason)

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

If you have a big, emotional, self hating meltdown every time someone tells you that you hurt them or crossed a boundary of theirs, then that means you're not a safe person to say no to - and that's something you need to work on. Even if you're genuinely just really upset that you hurt someone, if every attempt at communicating a boundary to you results in the person you hurt having to repeatedly reassure you that you're not actually a bad person, then you need to work on controlling yourself and taking constructive criticism.

[borderlinereminders]

This is so important.

Your feelings are valid, but you need to be mindful that you aren’t guilting the person you’ve hurt. Even if it was unintentionally.

Spiralling into “I’m terrible. I’m trash. You shouldn’t be my friend” is actually really mentally taxing on someone.

If you accidentally hurt someone, I recommend saying something like “it wasn’t my intention to hurt you, and I feel bad that I’ve done that. I’m really sorry. Is there something I can do to make you feel better? / make this better?”

This sort of apology gets across the message that you didn’t mean to hurt them, and letting them know you feel badly about it is good because they should know that because, while it doesn’t take their pain away, intention can matter. But there’s a huge difference between my first statement and my second one.

If it’s about crossing a boundary you didn’t know about, you could say something like “thank you for letting me know! Your boundaries are important to me and I want to know them so I can respect them.”

If they need space from you, please accept that without making them feel bad.

[feral-ballad]

Claire C. Holland, from I Am Not Your Final Girl: Poems; “Jess”

[Text ID: “I can’t exist in a way that comforts you.”]

[consecuences]

[wellbutrinboy]

another day? oh i am just so sick of these

[wellbutrinboy]

[biglawbear]

Parts of Great Barrier Reef Show Highest Coral Cover Seen in 36 Years

Australia’s Great Barrier Reef has suffered from widespread and severe bleaching because of rising ocean temperatures.

Let's hear it for some GOOD environmental news!!!

[theselfcarelifestyle]

Being assertive is not ‘bitchy’. Being assertive is not ‘high maintenance’. Being assertive is not ‘egotistical’. Being assertive shows you love yourself and know that you deserve to be treated properly, with respect.

[conscious-love]

When you protect yourself from pain, be sure you do not protect yourself from love.

Alan Cohen