filtered light on a cloudy day.

illia song. 19 years. demigod. student & clerk at the lion's den. weird kid & resident horror show. disclaimer: this is a closed rp account under mount phoenix. it is in no way associated with kim dahyun, twice, or jyp ent. this is all for fun, thanks!

[mpxillia-blog]

Not To Disappoint Ft. Ryo & Illia

@mp-ryo

It’s the ‘what if’s’ that have her wavering just outside the entrance to the tea house. They’re what had her pacing around her apartment almost endlessly much to the annoyance of her cats. They’re what had her change her outfit at least several times before returning to the first one she threw on. They’re what had her practicing her smile and mannerisms in the mirror for at least an hour. They’re what have her stomach up in knots from the overwhelming idea of not making a good first impression.

As soon as she’d caught wind of having a half-sibling present on the island, naturally she went out of her way to find out who exactly it was and where the highest chances of running into them would be. It was a daunting task going around, asking people if they’d seen any other children of Izanami going around. Especially asking the people that didn’t want to talk to her.

That in itself had been such a misadventure and had given her such a migraine that she could hardly stand to leave her apartment for a day or two. Nevertheless, she got the information that she wanted, so it was all worth the trouble. Watanabe Ryo was his name, and she couldn’t wait to meet him. Though Illia did pray that he’d at least like her a little bit.

On the outside, she stands there with such a straight face that a lot of people would find it hard to discern any stress or turmoil. But on the inside, her head threatens to overwhelm her with unwanted thoughts. ‘What if he didn’t like her?’, ‘what if he’s heard what other people have said about her?’, ‘what if he already knows she exists and just never bothered to reach out. What if he didn’t want to?’ All of it has the young demigod on edge. She almost turns around on her heel to go back home. But she stops and takes a deep breath.  

She tells herself that she’s being ridiculous. But at the same time, she knows that she only cares this much because this is important to her. She wants him to be important to her. It wouldn’t have mattered as much if it were any one else or for any other reason. So,she takes another deep breath as she steps inside. Her one-track mind leading her to the first person she saw. “Hello,” She greets with as disarming of a smile as she can muster. “I’m looking for a, Watanabe Ryo?” She explains. “Is he in today?”

[xmp-seonghwa-deactivated2023033]

Just in Case// Illia & Seonghwa

[mpxillia-blog]

mp-seonghwa:

When Illia had mention she knew a great place to star gaze of course he’d jumped at the opportunity. This whole gods and goddesses thing was fine and all but he still loved space and everything about it. Including the possibility of alien life. But he was not so caught up in his excitement that he ignored his training and what he knew of the world. Even on an island like this there were many dangers that lurked in the night. Thankfully with his gift he had no trouble with seeing those threats coming in the dark. However a gun or knife would be to suspicious a weapon so he went with an aluminum baseball bat. It would serve it’s purpose without giving away his true background. “I just wanted to be cautious. I was told there was monsters in the forest and one can never be too careful.” They walked on a little further, Seonghwa following her curiously. “What exactly is it we’re looking for again?” 

“Oh yeah..” The words trail off as she remembers Atticus’ warnings about traveling through the underbrush in the dark. He had been the one to share the secret spot with her and had urged her not to go alone or without something to protect herself with. But much to the ghost’s dismay and probable unsurprise, Illia often did the exact opposite of what was advised, and did so while wearing a big smile, humming whatever song played on her headset, and as carelessly as possible. “Boy oh boy, Atticus is not going to be happy with me if he finds out I’ve been going out unarmed and alone all this time.” She thinks out loud, but shrugs the thought away a second later to answer Seonghwa’s question as they venture further.

“Well, it’s pretty much just a clearing,” Her eyes lighting up, already envisioning one of her favorite hidden spots. It wasn’t too far off from where they were now and she could feel her heart start to race with excitement. If they made it on time, they’d still get the chance to enjoy the last few rays of light filtering through the trees before the dark settled in. She wondered what it would look like today. “It’s not too big?” She tries to explain. “Probably about the size of an apartment here, if that helps, but it’s surrounded by trees, filled with all sorts of wildflowers, and it gets so pretty around golden hour and at sunset.” She gushes. “The stars are always so clear and sometimes I’ll see a shooting star.”

[mpxillia-blog]

Sometimes, I’m Still Drowning ft. Kyle & Illia

@mpkyle ( tw: mentions/depictions of drowning and panic attacks )

She sits at the the edge of the beach, furthest away from the water. Her knees pulled to her chest and her arms crossed over them for her to rest her chin on. She stares out into the enticing blue waters and thinks that maybe she could learn to love the ocean again. She really thinks that she can. It had been one of her favorite places to visit when she was younger after all. All she has to do is remember the good things about it. Remember all the wonderful memories she’s made with her father and her aunt. The warm summer afternoons drifting in the cool waters with the taste of salt on her lips and the scent of brine in the air. The time spent chasing the tide as far as it would go out and trying to race it back up the beach before it could touch her and her always losing. 

She knows she misses it. It comes to her in her dreams and her daydreams. Sometimes she can imagine herself running into the tide, laughing, smiling, and twirling like a madman in the sea foam without a care in the world for anyone who would see. Imagine herself being set adrift in calm waters on a sunny afternoon, enjoying the sun on her skin.The way she’d float on her back, her hair flared out in all directions and watch the sky slowly change from it’s beautiful blue to brilliant crimsons, oranges, and pinks once the sun started to set.

And she tries so hard to fall in love with it again, Visits the beach when she has time to spare despite the agony she has to experience over and over again. Whenever she goes, she can’t shake the apprehension that threatens to swallow her whole. And though she doesn’t have panic attacks at the sight of deep waters alone anymore, being near it or within range of it for longer than necessary is more than enough to set one into motion.

Hers always tended to creep up on her. Liked to pull the floor right out from under her feet and send her free-falling down a pit of misery before she noticed. The one that she has today is much like that. It starts with her trying not to remember what it felt like to go under, the dread welling up her stomach, her heart starting to race, and her skin breaking into a cold sweat. She only realizes it’s happening when her lungs seize up so badly that she starts to tremble. Her chest heaves for air, over and over again. There is no shortage of it, but she doesn’t feel like it’s enough, doesn’t feel like it will ever be enough, even when she starts to get light-headed. She closes her eyes to dispel it, but when she opens them, she’s shell-shocked.

All of a sudden, she’s back in the sinking car. Suddenly, she’s twelve years old again, frantically crying, begging for help. “No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no..” Her voice quavers as she sucks in a shaky breath. 

[mpxillia-blog]

Sounds Like Home Ft. Siobhan & Illia

@mpxsiobhan

Illia is in the middle of a conversation with one of the friendlier university ghosts when she catches an unfamiliar voice speaking a very familiar language just above the whispers. She pauses the conversation for a moment, raising a hand to signal the spirit to stop. "Sorry, Amara.." She apologizes as she whips around to look for the source of the voice, but finds that it's stopped. She blinks and shakes her head. Maybe she was hearing things? A rich thought considering what she actually heard most of the time. "I could have sworn I heard something," She turns back to the spirit to resume the conversation, but just as she does, she hears it again. This time clearer, but fading rapidly as whoever speaks travels further away. With her interest piqued, Illia has half the mind to run after the voice to see who it was.

"Umm.. You know what, I'll talk to you later, Amara.. I've suddenly got something to do." She mutters distractedly as she stalks off without much thought and rounds the next corner. It takes another few minutes of walking and then another turn down a hallway or two, but it pays off when she makes her way out to the courtyard. When she does, she doesn't see anyone in the vicinity except for another girl seated on a bench with her back to her. Illia can make out the faint sound of the Welsh language, but it's there, and before she knows it, she's creeping closer and closer.

While she edges closer, she observes the other. Dark hair with platinum streaks riddled throughout, her style perhaps the exact opposite of Illia's preferred hair ribbons, cardigans, sundresses, or collared tops and long skirts. But nonetheless, the young demigod thought that the other was interesting. 

She's roughly a yard away when she stops walking closer, but the dialogue is clear. The girl is definitely speaking Welsh and it excites Illia beyond belief. The words fall out of her mouth before she can stop them, "Hello!" She greets in her native tongue. The dialect flowing just as smooth as it did when she spoke with her father or her aunt whenever she called one of them. "I couldn't help but notice that you speak, Welsh.." She trails off secretly hoping that she's not coming off as intrusive. "Are you perhaps also from Wales?" She finishes off, swinging back and forth on the balls of her feet.

[morememesforall]

word prompts compilation

complies THIS MEME // THIS MEME // THIS MEME

ADD ++ FOR REVERSE

[ attention ] for your muse to touch mine as a way of getting their attention

[ wake ] for your muse to wake mine

[ cover ]  for your muse to cover mine with a blanket or a jacket

[ lift ] for your muse to give mine a hand stepping up or over something etc.

[ kiss ]  for your muse to come up to mine and kiss them without warning

[ run ] for your muse to run their fingers through mine’s hair

[ braid ] for your muse to braid mine’s hair

[ embrace ]  for your muse to hold mine

[ smile ] for your muse to smile at mine from across the room

[ wave ] for your muse to gesture to mine to come closer

[ panic ] for your muse to grab mine’s arm or get behind them in a moment of danger

[ touch ] for your muse to rest their forehead against mine’s

[ weep ]  for your muse to catch mine crying

[ eat ] for your muse to offer mine food

[ hit ] for your muse to attack mine

[ love ] for your muse to touch mine as a show of affection or reassurance

[ nap ] for your muse to fall asleep against mine

[ rest ] for your muse to rest their head in mine’s lap

[ look ] for your muse to catch mine staring

[ seduce ] for your muse to touch mine sexually

[ help ] for your muse to lean on mine for support

[ give ] for your muse to offer mine their arm

[ entwine ] for your muse to hold mine’s hand

[ laugh ] for your muse to laugh at something mine did

[ dance ] for your muse to dance with mine

[ sit ] for your muse to pull mine into their lap

[ yell ] for your muse to calm mine down

[ cry ] for your muse to wipe mine’s tears away

[ dream ] for my muse to share dream with yours

[ nightmare ] for your muse to wake mine from a nightmare

[ surprise ] for your muse to show up at mine’s house without explanation

[ fix ] for your muse to treat mine’s injury

[ sacrifice ] for your muse to get hurt protecting mine

[ guard ] for your muse to step between my muse and danger

[ taste ] for your muse to cook for mine

[ sing ] for your muse to sing to mine 

[ goodbye ] for my muse kissing and/or hugging your muse goodbye

[ secrets ]   my  muse  sharing/confiding  a secret

[ bloody ]   for your  muse  coming  to  my  muse  with  blood  stains 

[ drunk ]   your  muse  takes  care  of my very drunk muse 

[ bed ]  my  muse wakes up in  the  same bed as your muse with little  recollection  of  the  night  before

[ scream ]   my  muse  hears  your  muse  scream  and  runs  to  them

[ trail ]   my  muse  watches  as  your  muse  traces  one  of  my  muses  scars,  asking  them  about  it

[ piggyback ]   my  muse  gives  yours  a  piggyback  ride

[ jump ]   my  muse  holding  yours  up  by  their  thighs

[ carry ]   my  muse  carries  your  muse  to  their  house

[ lighter ]   my  muse  pulls  out  a  lighter  and  lights  it  for  your  muse  to  use  to  light  their  cigarette

[ shot ] my  muse  gets  shot  and  struggles  to  your  muses for aid

[ wound ] my  muse  patches  and  bandages  a  wound  your  muse  has  gotten

[ fight ]   my  muse  stops  your  muse  from  getting  into  a  physical  fight  with  someone  else

[ arrest ]   your  muse  finds  my  muse  arrested  in  cuffs  

[ hospital ]   my  muse  awakens  in  a  hospital,  finding  your  muse  by  their  side,  asking  what  happened

[ betrayal ] my  muse  finds  out  that  your  muse  has  betrayed  them and  confronts  them  about  it

[ nude ] my  muse  walks  in  on  your  muse  accidentally  seeing  them  naked

[ karaoke ]  for our muses to sing together

[ wet ]   your muse  strips  down  to  their  under  garments  and  runs  into  the  water,  motioning  for my muse  to  join  them

[ crawl ]  for  your  muse  to  crawl  into  bed  with  mine .

[ flower ]  for  your  muse  to  offer  my  muse  their  favourite  flower

[ gift ]  for  my  muse  to  surprise  your muse  with  a  gift

[ homemade gift ]  for  my  muse  to  make  your muse  a  gift

[ bestow ] for your muse to give my muse a gift, bought or handmade ( bonus if you add what it is )

[ serenade ]  for  my  muse  to  sing  to  your  muse

[ caress ]  for  your  muse  to  gently  run  their  hand  down  my  muse’s  face

[ caught ]  for  your  muse  to  catch  my  muse  wearing  their  shirt .

[ love letter ]  for  your  muse  to  give  my  muse  a  love  letter  they  wrote  for  them

[ boop ]  for  your  muse  to  boop  my  muse  on  the  nose

[ date ]  for  my muse  to  ask  your  muse  to  go  on  a  date

[ confess ]  for my muse  to  confess  their  feelings  to  your  muse

[ sleepy ]  for  my muse  to  slowly  fall  alseep  on  your muse

[mpxillia-blog]

( tw: mentions of death and implied suicide. )

Whatever the case may have been, all she knows is that one rainy Saturday afternoon in the middle of October, she’d realized that she’d been staring at him a little longer than she should have. Thoughts of what it would be like to hold his hand, run her fingers through his hair, hug him, floating through her head the entire time.

They’d been sprawled out on the floor of the attic, laying on an old picnic blanket she’d taken from home, their favorite songs playing on a little speaker that she’d brought with her. At first she’d just been staring at him in his entirety as he laughed at something she said, the way his eyes crinkled and shined in the dulled light coming from the window, and the way he smiled so wide that she thought his face would split in half. His laughter rings in the air and she thinks that she could listen to it for the rest of her life like a song on repeat.

But then her gaze started to linger on his lips and the thought of what they would feel like on hers crossed her mind. Without giving anything away, she turned her gaze to the ceiling and immediately thought to herself, “Oh no, I’m fucked.”

                                                 Keep Reading

[mpxillia-blog]

Bump In The Night ft. Hanhwa & Illia

@mphanhwa

She's always wondered what exactly went on inside her head when it came to her habit of sleepwalking. Did it have anything to do with the dreams that she had? She remembered all of them, so maybe? Most of her dreams consisted of far away and dreamy places that she just couldn't reach. Maybe that was why she would always venture out of her apartment against her own will and end up in the strangest of places. The subconscious desire to go off into the unknown was maybe too strong to keep her safe at home at night.

Or was it something else? Did it have something to do with being near people that she cared about? Because just as often, she'd find herself slumped outside apartment doors or in beds that weren't her own with others casting exasperated looks at her. Consciously, Illia is no stranger to being alone or being ostracized. She revels in it too at times. But was there something more to her subconscious that would lead her to seek others out? Did she actually want companionship beyond the thoughts she put down in journals, the books she buried her nose in, and the ghosts she spoke with on the daily? Maybe.

Perhaps that was why she was outside Hanhwa's door. Barefoot and head hung low as she continuously tried to enter the apartment despite its closed door. The repetitive sound of her forehead bumping against the wooden frame wasn't loud enough for a noise complaint, but maybe it was loud enough to alarm Hanhwa if he were home around this time.

[mpxillia-blog]

“something told me to bring this in case we ran into trouble.”

the magic of fuller: book one by will mallette ( still accepting! )

Illia stares at the bat in her friend’s hands for a good few minutes, her head tilting to the side in confusion. “Dark eyes?” She begins softly, an amused smile crossing her features. “I don’t think that we’ll need that? We’re only going to the park..” She trails off looking up at him curiously. She pauses in her tracks though, her expression turning contemplative. She puts her hand under her chin and thinks for a few minutes. They were only going to the park after dark, Illia did that on a regular basis and most of the time, alone. Why would they need to take a blunt force object with them?

Hardly did it ever register in her head that going out late at night wasn’t the safest thing to do, as thoughtful as she was at times.

“Oh well, maybe we will.” She chirps with a shrug. “You probably know something that I don’t though, so good idea!” She offers him a smile before readjusting her backpack and tucking the blanket she meant to bring with them under her arm. “Come on, let’s go! There’s this one spot that I have trouble finding when the sun goes down, it’s the best place to be when you want to see the most stars!”

[mpxillia-blog]

“you must have been worlds away, as hard as it was to wake you.”

the magic of fuller: book one by will mallette ( still accepting! )

She nods and smiles softly as she remembers the dream with a far away look in her eyes. She thinks of an empty meadow at sunset ways away from everything else. It's quiet save for the chirping of crickets, the buzzing of cicadas, and the rustle of leaves every time a breeze comes through. The surrounding trees sway in the wind, decorated in lights that glimmer and dance softly against the darkening night sky. And despite their glow, they do nothing to take away from the stars that start to appear once the sun goes down. Illia is sat in the center of it all, barefoot, with her favorite threadbare blanket carelessly thrown over her shoulders. She has a journal in her lap, her favorite book off to the side, and a thermos of hot cocoa for when it gets colder. She wears a gentle smile on her face as she looks up at the night sky and tries to count the stars. She closes her eyes and wishes that it could be more than a dream.

"Sorry if I caused you any trouble," she replies quietly, still not entirely present in the current situation. "But thank you for waking me up anyway.." She smiles at him in the middle of her daze. "I should probably get going."

[mpxillia-blog]

“you sure were out of it. i’ve been trying to wake you up for ten minutes.”

the magic of fuller: book one by will mallette ( still accepting! )

She's in the middle of sitting up and stretching when she hears her words. Illia looks up and blinks at the woman in wonder. "You managed to wake me up in ten minutes?" She briefly wonders if maybe if the other had been lying, but the look in her eyes tells her otherwise. But ten minutes? That was unheard of. On a good day, if anyone tried to wake her up, it usually took at least thirty minutes. After the first ten, most people tended to either give up and leave her be or assume that there was something wrong and maybe try to get some help for her. 

But only taking ten minutes after a night of sleep walking was a record. A curious one at that. "That's strange.." She wonders aloud, offering the other woman a confused look. "Usually takes a longer time to get me up than that.." She trails off and shrugs before hopping off the park bench she had been sleeping on to stretch herself out entirely. "That wasn't all that pleasant.. Or safe.." She mumbles, taking a mental note to add one more lock and put the keys on a higher shelf and maybe dispose of all her step stools. "I hope you weren't in a rush or anything like that, and if you were, I hope I haven't made you late."

[mpxillia-blog]

“are you okay this morning?”

the magic of fuller: book one by will mallette ( still accepting! )

"Not too loud," she murmurs softly, eyes closed and fingers pressed to her temples.  She's vaguely aware of the fact that the god hadn't spoken loudly at all, but the throbbing in her head and the overlapping whispers in her ears make even the softest words sound harsh. "Don't mind me, I've just got a migraine, that's all." She continues to massage her temples for a second longer before opening her eyes and wincing at the soft lights of the shop for a second, the throbbing getting worse. "Oh.." She hums to herself. "That can't be good." She blinks a couple times before giving up on trying to ease the pain. 

It was another one of those days where the world was far too noisy for her to bear. And usually, she preferred to stay home just to lessen the stress that going out would have caused, but since there was no one that would be there to cover her shift, she figured that she'd still go to work. The Lion's Den wasn't a particularly loud place after all. If anything, it catered to those who preferred the peace and quiet more. Customers usually spoke in hushed tones or didn't speak at all when they came in. The whispers and murmurs never got out of hand while she was there, so she should have been fine and yet she wasn't. "Uhh.. What were you saying before?"

[estrellablogg]

Çok affederim ama bir kere güvenirim.. 🌟

[mpxillia-blog]

hello!

hello folks! it’s kala again with a new muse. this over here is illia and i have a bunch of little tidbits listed below the read more for her. i just finished her plot page. it’s not much, but if you see something you like, let me know!

but anyway, like this or send a meme if you’d like to interact with her or plot something out maybe?

x. Illia is a full blown night owl and often spends her time during the night reading, writing, going for walks, talking to ghosts, etc. x. Her accent has a Welsh lilt to it, so when she speaks, it’s very sing-songy and also very soft. x. Is currently majoring in Liberal Arts with an emphasis on writing. Is 100% a writing nerd. Also loves books and would marry them if that were a legal thing. x. Is dangerously and almost annoyingly curious. She will literally plunder people for answers and if she doesn’t get answers, she’ll go looking for them on her own. Depending on what she’s asking, things can go south real quick. x. Is exceedingly gifted when it comes to necromancy. Unknowingly has the ability to make flowers bloom in terms of creation. Has never consciously used it or is even aware of it because well, dead people are very distracting. x. Also unknowingly dabbles in divination from time to time. An extension of necromancy where she's able to obtain past, present, and future knowledge and other secrets through communicating with the dead. x. When she does actually get sleep at night, she sometimes sleepwalks and ends up in places where she shouldn't be. Has had five different locks installed on her door to prevent this and hides the keys at night to help a bit more with that, but sometimes it's not enough to stop her. x. Has lived with a constant low whispering/murmuring in her ears her entire life and it is actually the sound of the dead talking over each other. There are times when the whispers gets too loud for her and it often leads to really bad migraines. x. Adding onto that last one, the whispering only ever really acts up when she’s stressed out or in loud environments. It sometimes acts up while she’s around people, but for the most part, she’s kind of learned how to tune it out. x. Now adding onto that last, last one, she doesn’t like going out into loud environments for that very reason. Prefers her peace and quiet and is kind of a homebody unless she can help it. x. Likes to explain that the difference between ghosts and living people is that ghosts tend to have a little shimmer to them. Whether it works that way for everyone who can see dead people is beyond her knowledge. x. Has an obsession with rainy days/gloomy weather. She will run out during a thunderstorm to do gods know what. Dance around, jump in puddles, get sick as shit because she’s dumb like that. x. Not a fan of bright lights or sunny weather. Only likes the sun during the hours of dusk and dawn. x. Is absolutely terrified of any amount of water that comes up to her knees. Ever since the accident, she hasn’t so much as gone near a pool, the beach, or even a pond, let alone stand in ankle deep water. x. Has an absurd amount of miscellaneous knowledge at her disposal at all times and at all given hours is constantly blessing the world with little fun facts. x. Is aware of the fact that she doesn’t know everything, everything, and because of this, is endlessly curious about everything and everyone. x. Has two cats named Ichabog and Bartholomew. Icky/Boggy and Barty/MewMew are their respective nicknames.

that’s about it for now, i’ll be adding all of this to a headcanon page and probably add more as time goes on.

[rocknmeme]

the magic of fuller: book one by will mallette violence, blood mention.  

“we had a good breakfast. do you think you’ll survive?”

“you sure were out of it. i’ve been trying to wake you up for ten minutes.”

“that wasn’t fair and you know it. you caught me off guard.”

“good morning, sleepyhead.”

“i’ll let you know when, and don’t let me catch you peeking.”

“the hot chocolate is ready.”

“i got dizzy all of a sudden, that’s all.”

“but that’s enough for today.”

“let’s go make some sandwiches.”

“it’s a secret, and a surprise.”

“to start with, i want you to relax. try not to think about anything. close your eyes and relax.”

“i don’t even remember going to bed.”

“breathe deep, taking your breaths all the way in and letting them out slowly.”

“that’s because i had to carry you to your bed.”

“now, my little man, what do you say we go get some breakfast?”

“something told me to bring this in case we ran into trouble.”

“i am warning you: don’t try to weasel your way out of it.”

“is it okay if i sleep in your bed tonight?”

“you’re doing an excellent job.” 

“you must have been worlds away, as hard as it was to wake you.”

“i guess you better stop it, then; don’t you think?”

“we’re going fishing this weekend.”

“it’s way past our bedtimes and we have a lot to do tomorrow.”

“you be careful. i know you want to learn this, but you have to be patient, too.”

“are you okay this morning?”

“you will miss out on a lot of things that kids have fun doing, and i feel bad about that.”

“that’s my little helper.”

“what do you say we call it a day and go make some chocolate chip cookies?”

“it’s more dangerous than anything you’ll ever learn.”

“i love you, too. i think we’re going to have a lot of fun today.”

“stay back and no one gets hurt.”

“i’ve lost a lot of blood.”

“you don’t have to feel bad. i’m having more fun than any kid ever dreamt about, spending time with you.”

“i think it’s time for a rest.”

“you get the eggs and whatever you want in your omelet, and i’ll get the frying pan ready.”

“that’s easy for you to say. it’s not your house.”

“you must never try to hurt anyone, except to protect someone else or to protect yourself.”

[darkacademiathings]

“That’s the thing about books. They let you travel without moving your feet.”

-  Jhumpa Lahiri

[haleyincarnate]

Excerpt from “Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close” by Jonathan Safran Foer