Midnite in a Perfect World

A pit stop in the mind of a 30 something black man in the city.

[purplebuddhaquotes]

Travel and tell no one. Live a true love story and tell no one. Live happily and tell no one. People ruin beautiful things.

Khalil Gibran (via purplebuddhaquotes)

[purplebuddhaquotes]

Always find time for the things that make you feel happy to be alive.

Sonny Franco (via purplebuddhaquotes)

[mrmidnite]

To avoid criticism, say nothing, do nothing, be nothings

[mrmidnite]

new year, new limbo

As we near close to the 5th month of the year, it's interesting to see the craziness that has happened in a few short months. The constant traveling and politickin' has subside for a more chill and 9-5 lifestyle. The job has tamed me to the point of boredom but at least I can help/influence the youth around me. Women have been an odd situation in both action and non action. An odd state of limbo. For once, I have no real plan. Just floatin'. It's been nice to not be so involved in really anything but the restlessness is starting to settle in. I usually have a goal or purpose at the light of the tunnel where now it's more humble pie, observation, and listening. Not a bad thing, mind you. Being the silent observer as made my lack of a voice be heard more. Choosing when/how/why I speak has been more interesting than not. Still, as change is ever present, it's coming soon. Just not sure when.

[mrmidnite]

Someday, somewhere - anywhere, unfailingly, you'll find yourself, and that, and only that, can be the happiest or bitterest hour of your life.

Pablo Neruda

[mrmidnite]

friends with your ex

My homie broke up with his first "take home to mom" gf. He is going through some personal growth and wanted to focus a little on him. He asked me if it was possible to be friends with your ex. I said, depends. And it does. Today I hung out w/ my ex (from 10 years ago) and it was awesome. Tons of jokes and laughs. Caught up about life, family, friends, and work. And really just hung out like the friends we are. She has a bf and I am single but I don't need to know about her love life. It's not a taboo subject but it's also none of my business. I enjoyed that we could hang like real friends and just enjoy each others company. I think being so far removed from the relationship helped as well as the stigma of trying to smash again (which I'm not). I was happy to talk to my friend. 

I think time, honesty, and really not trying to reignite a physical relationship can help in being friends with your ex. I am not trying to break up a happy home nor trying to get a gf. It was two people having conversation. A really good conversation. Crap, I miss her.

[mrmidnite]

Over-sentimentality, over-softness, in fact washiness and mushiness are the great dangers of this age and of this people. Unless we keep the barbarian virtues, gaining the civilized ones will be of little avail.

Theodore Roosevelt

[mrmidnite]

slackin’

It's been a world wind of a few months. I went from breezing along at work to being full integrated into the machine. With opportunity comes a lot of positive and negatives which there have been plentiful. Now, is the challenge of balance. Making sure I keep on the things I was doing prior to extra work stress. But also, separating my self from work enough to still be in a happy and productive space. The corporate life is interesting as people are really defined by their workplace/work output. I got caught up in it for a quick second and had to check myself. Also, making more mini moves on the finance tip and travel tip. The name of the game is balance, learning, and executing. Finally get to put my money where my mouth is and we'll see how I do. Flying by the seat of your pants has never been more fun!

p.s. Daily writing is also back on. Need to flex and express these random thoughts.

p.p.s. What about women? Man listen. That’s for tomorrow.

[purplebuddhaproject]

The truly great man dwells on what is real and not what is on the surface.

Lao Tzu (via purplebuddhaproject)

[philosophyofpatriceoneal]

I don’t like being in a world where being a man is a horrible thing, but no matter what a woman does, being that makes you wonderful.

Patrice Oneal on the Marc Maron show (via philosophyofpatriceoneal)

[liberatingreality]

Americans no longer talk to each other, they entertain each other. They do not exchange ideas, they exchange images. They do not argue with propositions; they argue with good looks, celebrities and commercials.

Neil Postman (via liberatingreality)

[mrmidnite]

productive.

It's been an interesting month. A birthday passed, a new year began, and I have been firing on all cylinders in everything that is non work related. There's a lot going on but I like it because I came to the realization that, at 35, I have no kids, unmarried, and low debt/responsibilities. So why not fill my time with various interests and activities. It can be a little tiring but overall it's been a fun ride. My favorite married friend told me, "you are too busy living life to actively pursue a relationship." And she's right! I've meet and chatted with a few women here an there but non really sparked my interest to stop everything and hang out with them. Maybe my expectation are too high? Maybe my tolerance is too low? Who knows. I do know I am gonna continue on this path for a bit. Build, create, learn, and enjoy. If someone comes along to make me pause, I will welcome it.

[mrmidnite]

yolo.

I HATE this term with a passion but it essentially sums up the "experiences over materials" philosophy I have embraced this year. Lately, I have been in deep thinking mode on finances, location options, and just quality of life in general. Job is cool, women are around, and the creative juices have been flowing. But I think this upcoming year will be a major one to clear lingering credit debt. The need to be in a more financially stable environment is key to being more independent with my time. A short stint abroad is in my future, so I am taking steps to make that happen. Continually, I am enjoying my city and all it has to offer again. We all go through ups and downs about this place but currently it's been exciting, adventurous, and completely random. AKA fitting in with my "flying-by-the-seat-of-my-pants" lifestyle of the past 9 years. 

[mrmidnite]

Early to rise and early to bed, makes a man healthy but socially dead.

The Animaniacs

[mrmidnite]

If you refuse to hold things lightly, you run the risk of clinging to a thing long after it has ceased to be good for you. The trick is to hold everything in life so lightly that only death can kill us.

unknown

[mrmidnite]

ghosts.

Having lived in this city for about 9 years now, I am starting to see things open, close, and reopen. I walk by old familiar haunts and remember the drunken nights, the first dates, the 22nd date, the girl(s) I met, and the conversations I had. "Ghosts" I call them. All the memories of past dealings and adventures that come up when you least expect them. One such ghost, Addiction, popped back up again. Been a while right? Almost a year since I have ranted on that one. A up and down year but a year nonetheless. This ghost popped up twice: once in regards to another incident w/ a friend that shook me a lot more than I expected. It's like you are "over" something until it stares you in the face and makes you question if you really ARE over it. I admit, at the time I was hurt, annoyed, and angry. I almost called Addiction to confirm the dumbness I had just heard but didn't. Which was good. I was conflicted but smart enough to calm down, sleep on it, and get a clear head. The next day "hold on tightly, let go lightly". There was really no point in opening old wounds. In reality, those feelings were on my side and not really reciprocated. I had let Addiction take up space in my brain when I was merely a footnote in hers. Took awhile to see it and this incident just confirmed it. Sad but no ones fault but my own. The funny thing is, like clockwork she pops up again (via text) at the same event I was at, wondered if I was still there. She wanted to say "hi". It's a familiar game and always ends with us "catching up". I'll pass, I was already gone and although I could of easily went back, no real point. Let it be and keep it moving'. Ghosts are only around if you let them. Leave just as quickly as the appeared. Better let them be on their way and you be on yours.

[mrmidnite]

london.

I am back! Well, back on my "get my ass up and go travel" tip. Not sure why I took a 3 year hiatus from international traveling. I think it was more laziness and lack of care. I enjoy traveling, see new things, catchin' up w/ old friends and meeting new ones. First stop, London.

I used to live here back in '01(pre 9/11) for school. All I did was drink, draw, and dance. It was a great time that really influenced my moving to NYC and other travels. It showed me the world is so big and small at the same time. Met a variety of random people who I still keep in contact with to this day. This is trip to visit old roomies, run around and dance, and really just not be in NYC for a bit. Not really caring about seeing sites or museum. Just hangin' out.

Also, reconnected with a former crush, FC. FC is about 4-5 years older than me but same youthful vibe. Very smart and carefree but also mature and wise. Lived in London for 18 years (coming from Asia) so she has a proper english accent aka SEXY. Loves to dance and I love watching her dance. Not in a "i wanna rip her clothes off" way but more a "I just want to watch and enjoy the sexiness of how you move." Its a refreshing and it's been awhile since i felt that. I'm crashin' at her place for the next two days then off to Munich for Oktoberfest. THAT should be a sheit-show but fun. To be continued...