In this sleepy little town

@mrs-gemma-rivers

"Maybe we thought it was just us two."

77 posts

I don’t look like a fool. I look very sexy. How about what everyone else says though? I bet you couldn’t name anyone other than my mom would way say something different. You probably could have done it with some other guy, not just me. No, you were definitely uptight. Responsible and uptight are the same thing.

mrs-gemma-rivers

Yeah, but you still look like a fool. Just...a sexy fool. Who cares what everyone else says? It's not their kids that we're raising, so why should it matter? Besides, everyone has a different style of parenting. Yeah, maybe I could have. But I wanted to do this with you. There's not other guy out there that I could possibly want more. They most definitely are not. Uptight is never having fun. I had fun, just sober. And if I got drunk every time you got drunk, I don't think either of us would be alive right now.

Are you sure? I think I’d look awesome as a blonde. I feel kind of left out since just about everyone else in the family is blonde. Do you think Chase would have done a better job? Like as a dad and raising kids? Or I wouldn’t have done such a shitty job if he was still..around? You were way too up tight by the time that break rolled around. I had to get you to have a little fun somehow.

mrs-gemma-rivers

No, absolutely not. You'd look like even more of a fool than you already do. No, I don't think so. Maybe he wouldn't have made the same mistakes that we did, but there definitely would've been some mistakes in there. Maybe, but it doesn't really matter. Despite what you may think, and what our kids say, you're a great dad. I mean, I wouldn't have been able to do this without you. Hey, I was not uptight. I was responsible. There's a difference.

I will, I promise. Fill her in on… everything, I guess. Too clever for me? Pssh, sure sure. You may be clever but I’m down-right adorable.

I’m up for a good “Who has the most attractive kids?” competition. Next time our families have dinner together, it’ll happen. What’s there to prove on who’s the most embarrassing? That shouldn’t even be a question.

mrs-gemma-rivers

I don't know if you want her knowin' everything. You know how she gets. Well, I guess I can't argue with that.

My kids will definitely win. After all, they all have my genes. You and your sisters were unfortunate enough to get your mom's genes. That's what I said, but apparently, Blake Jr. told him that I'm the more embarrassing one, when really, I'm just the cooler one.

#i just saw this omg my bad

You think I would still ‘accidentally’ walk in on your showering if I was just saying that? It’s less noticeable than mine. I swear, soon I’m going to have to start using your hair dye to make sure it doesn’t actually turn all gray. I have a question, Gemma. I’m surprised you didn’t lose more than that and a few bras and underwear that year.

mrs-gemma-rivers

It wouldn't surprise me, really. Oh no, don't do that. You would not look good blond. I may have an answer. Well, that's what happens when you get me that drunk. It's all your fault.

I don’t know about that. You’re still as hot as you were before the kids. You could push a few more out before you start getting grays. You really think we screwed up, Gem? I mean, like with the kids an all. You left some of the best voicemails during those. I used to save them and just play them back at random times.

mrs-gemma-rivers

How do I know you're not just saying that? Ha, please. I'm already going gray. It's just not horribly noticeable, since I'm blond. Thank god for that. No, not really. I mean, we could've done a better job, but I think they turned out alright, especially considering it was us who raised them. If I hadn't lost my phone over that spring break in college, I'd still have some of your voicemails. They were sort of my favorite.

Hm, I don’t know. I don’t think fi-four kids were enough. Maybe we should go for those twenty. Then I might remember you a little more. At least ten. I think the better question is how many times did we sit in our dorms and play phone tag after the bigger fights?

mrs-gemma-rivers

Absolutely not. My body can't take any more. And I don't really want to raise any more kids. We've screwed up enough as it is. The world doesn't need anymore Rivers children right now. I think that happened almost every time, honestly. We were really good at that.

What if I forget who my wife is? Then I might forget it. No, it actually reminds me of being back here. Even if we fought back then too.

mrs-gemma-rivers

If you forget me, then we'll have a really big problem. Because I would think that I've made a big enough impression on you to not be forgotten. God, we fought so much when we were here. How many times did we break up?

Well, not all guys have wives as great as mine. Yeah. You never wondered what that one thing that kept us from getting divorced was, even if we fight most of the time?

mrs-gemma-rivers

Yeah, and don't you ever forget that. Of course, but I always assumed that me calling you an idiot was what started most of the fights.

All kids think parents are embarrassing, so that doesn’t count. You know something? That’s my favorite thing to hear you say. It kinda reminds me why I started liking you in the first place.

mrs-gemma-rivers

Well, not all wives think that, so there just might be a problem. What, that you're an idiot? Because I'm pretty sure I say it every day.

#YOU'RE SO RUDE #I HATE YOU #THAT WAS SO UNCALLED FOR

I don’t know. I think she got held up at her studio… or something. I haven’t really talked to her so. I think she got hours when she was tutoring me but, hey - that was before we dated.

Ah, yes. I always thought he hated my dad because my dad ended up having better looking kids? Kidding. Maybe. But really - look at me. I really hope they don’t make a scene if they see each other on campus this weekend.

mrs-gemma-rivers

Yeah, that definitely sounds like your mom. I'd call her soon if I were you. Let her know you miss her. She'd like that. Wow, that joke went right over your head. My humor must be far too clever for you, I suppose.

You better not let Lexis hear you say that. I'm pretty sure she'd be prepared to start a full on war with you to prove you wrong. God, no, absolutely not. I will not let that happen. Or maybe I will. It'll definitely prove my point about him being the embarrassing one.

I only agreed to that to get you to shut up about it. Willy, Drew, and Ross would all say the same thing too. I’m not embarrassing. I’m fun.

mrs-gemma-rivers

Well, Will, Drew and Ross are all embarrassing, too. I'm sure their kids, and wives, would say the exact same thing. You're not fun. You're just an idiot. But you're my idiot, so. You can't be all bad.

Yeah, actually. I mean, you can be at times. Do I have to remind you of the whole prom incident? Or all the other times you’ve done stupid things in public?

mrs-gemma-rivers

Prom was your fault. We decided that already. I think you're far more embarrassing than I'll ever be.

#ur fricking rude

You act like I’ve never heard you swear before. It’s not like my mum’s here to tell you that you’re corrupting me more than I’ve already been, anyways. Tricked? Excuse you. There was no tricking to be done. I’m just irresistible - what can I say?

…Not exactly? Nope. I don’t wanna know. Nope. Never. That’s weird. Oh my god - no. I don’t wanna think about it.

mrs-gemma-rivers

True, true. Wait— Why isn't she here? I'm sure you are. I gotta ask though, does she get community service hours for dating you?

Nothing happened, Francis. Your father and I didn't hook up, though Blake would probably tell you otherwise. He likes to make things up for why he still hates your dad.

That’s not what they tell me. Well, maybe Lexis, but not Blake.

mrs-gemma-rivers

Oh, really? Let me guess, he said I was the embarrassing one?

Caught me. Fine, I’ll find him. Somehow. Oh, no. We are close. I’ve just been busy. And in detention. And academic probation. And with Arielle. So.. yeah.

History? Oh fuc- Don’t tell me you guys hooked up?

mrs-gemma-rivers

Damn— I mean, darn, I was really hoping I'd have something to rub in his face. Oooh, Arielle? Is that the pretty brunette that you've tricked into dating you?

Oh god, no. Well, not exactly. Your mom wouldn't be talking to me if that had happened. And you probably wouldn't even exist right now.

mrs-gemma-rivers

And you wonder why our kids call you the embarrassing one.

And that’s why you’re my favourite Aunt. Always have been, always will be. Tell him I say hi if I don’t end up seeing him. Have you talked to Alex yet? She’s good, I think. I don’t know, actually. I haven’t really talked to her in a while.

You guys have always had a funny way of getting along. I can never tell if you guys hate each other or absolutely adore one another.

mrs-gemma-rivers

I'm pretty sure I'm your only aunt, so I hope I'm your favorite. Oh, no way, I'm not playing messenger. Not between you two. You can find him yourself. Yeah, I have, surprisingly enough. Funny, your dad was telling how close he thinks you two are. Will I finally be able to prove him wrong on something?

I tolerate him, honestly. I'll never be able to decide if I adore him or hate him, either. We've got too much history between us for that.

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