Maybe Iâd be more impressed with the Finale having room for sooooo many possible interpretations if it wasnât for the fact all of these interpretations are fucking dismal!
Like, Crowley and Aziraphale reincarnating into Anthony and Asa is probably the one GO3 interpretation/copium thatâs closest to being, like, an actual âHappy Endingâ for them in terms of narrative and themes and character.
Itâs still pretty sucky! Giving the Ineffable Husbands their ââromantic happy endingââ not by emotionally resolving the issues raised in the Final Fifteen (and beyond, and before), but by basically resetting them into a blank slate that never hurt each other and donât even seem to have the personal and interpersonal flaws that caused the issues in the first place makes their relationship and love seem a lot weaker, implying they could never actually overcome their issues. And itâs also a very Magical way to solve one of the central emotional conflicts of the show in an ending thatâs supposed to be about the joys of mundanity. And itâs kinda counterproductive to the message of appreciating the imperfection of human existence when the limited time we have with Asa and Anthony only allows us to see very superficial flaws about their own lives and they otherwise feel much more inhuman and imperfect compared to the very messy and very human Aziraphale and Crowley. And it hurts the message of appreciating Humanity in general that Asa and Anthony are like the blandest, least compelling, most desaturated versions of Aziraphale and Crowley ever. Like, if these are really the versions of Crowley and Aziraphale that have True Free WillTM, they shouldâve gotten even weirder. Oh! And of course it weakens the theme of âFree Willâ if they were somehow âdestinedâ to meet and fall in love. And then of course, you can raise the Jim Question, that even if these are Crowley and Aziraphaleâs consciousnesses, can they be said to be Crowley and Aziraphale without their memories? And the question of whatever any sort of reincarnation should even exist in a âGoddlessâ Universe. And that it really removes a lot of their appeal to take away their 6000 years of history and Slow Burn and loving against the odds and replacing it with a very generic Meet Cute. And also of course, some people would always be devastated that Crowley and Aziraphale seemed like theyâre going to have an Eternity together and they only ended up with 40-30 years.
BUT EVEN WITH ALL OF THAT SAID (and maybe a few more complaints I forgot), this is STILL the least bad ending possibility of the Finale, both for the characters and the narrative as a whole. Obviously the Worst Option is that Crowley and Aziraphale are just straight-up permadead. But a lot of the other options people have suggested to make that ending âhappyâ are still, in fact, kinda Worse than Crowley and Aziraphale spending 40-30 amnesiac years together. Like, the concept of Ineffable Husbands as a Reincarnation Romance or a Multiversal Constant only weakens the appeal of the Husbands as a love that triumphed against the odds and the theme of Free WillTM (not to mention that with how little actual reconciliation Crowley and Aziraphale had, how many of these times they âfoundâ each other they were actually happy and functional?). And then there are the âHappy Endingsâ that take the Husbands away from Earth and Humanity, put them in a Snowglobe or âthe Garden of Edenâ or outer space or whatever, when the entire original concept around which their storyline in the original book revolved around, the Humanist theme they originally conveyed, is that thereâs nothing more wonderful than the experience of living in our world among the Humans, and this is so wonderful and important and fun to them that itâs worth defying both Heaven and Hell to preserve. Itâs almost as hard to image a âHappy Endingâ for them that separates them from that human world as it is to imagine a âHappy Endingâ that keeps them apart from each other. Especially as so many interpretations put them into the exact same stagnant unchanging eternities they were afraid of in the first place. Even if these specific worlds are full of only the things they loved, they also loved the ever-changing nature of the Earthly Experience (Aziraphale goes slow, but not slow enough for Eternity) and they wanted to experience it, and not just watch it from afar. And then there are the Interpretations that hinge on some variation of Crowley and Aziraphale having Ascended to a Higher Plane of Existence, becoming the Universe or Stars or Cosmic Consciousness or the embodiment of Love or the Guardians of Humanity or Watching Over Us All (which can also intersect with some of the âGarden of Edenâ stuff). Which⊠also feels counterproductive with Crowley and Aziraphaleâs very earthly love of earthly experiences. Again, they loved experiencing the pleasures of this world the way humans do, so much that Aziraphale gave up on an Eternal Heaven and Crowley risked Hellâs Wrath for it. Why should we believe that theyâre happy to leave that behind forever for some cosmic experience we canât even comprehend? Why should this supposedly âHumanistâ story about the most Human Angel and Demon end with them having to becoming something even further away from Humanity than ever before? And the whole central joke their characters (and their whole setting) hinged on is the idea divine and cosmic entities being Just Some Guys With a Job. Crowley and Aziraphaleâs friendship was built upon them trying to minimize work as much as possible, they spent years trying to retire. Why should I be happy to see them take on another Cosmic Job thatâs even more impossible for them to ever leave or separate their identities from or ever stop doing? And thatâs not getting to cases where this âHappy Endingâ gives them a very God-like role, so it also kneecaps whatever âmessageâ this ending tries to have. Making it even less about dismantling harmful systems, and now the message is that it could all be better by just putting the Right People at the top of the SystemâŠ
So many options for interpretations! And none of them feel like it would make Crowley and Aziraphale actually happy and make their sacrifice to feel worthwhile! Absolutely amazing!
Also, like, I feel this angle canât really work if youâre also trying to argue that âOh, this story isnât really about Crowley and Aziraphale, itâs about Humanity uwuâ. Because these âalternative interpretationsâ and âHappy Endingsâ only really matter if youâre considering the fate of Crowley and Aziraphale to be the Only Thing That Matters. Like, Iâm pretty sure Anathema didnât get her own custom Snowglobe. I donât think that Mrs. Sandwich got invited to the Garden of Eden. I highly doubt Nina and Maggie got to find each other in every timeline. For pretty much everyone in the Universe except Aziraphale and Crowley, there are only two options, they either reincarnated into the New Universe (did they all get happier and more content lives than what they had in the previous World? Considering itâs supposed to be our real world, thatâs hard to imagine) or they are all fucking dead forever!
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