Crowley: “I wish for my miracling powers back.”
God: “Okey dokey, done.”
Crowley: “Miracle time, angel, let’s fucking go.”
Aziraphale: “Miracle?”
Crowley: “Together. No holding back.”
A: (catching on) “Oh, yes! We can channel remarkable power together!”
(They hold hands)
God: (suddenly regretting this) “Wait what”
A: “Thank you both for your services, but they’re no longer required. Cheerio.”
C: (huge toothy grin) “Wasn’t nice knowing you. At all.”
(They move their free hands, just as God and Satan are both lunging toward them; screen flashes white, holds there)
And instead of the human AU, we use that time to have Crowley and Aziraphale strolling through that blankness together, discussing the parameters of rekindled existence without Heaven and Hell. They decide to allow their fellow angels and demons to be resurrected as shepherds, guiding human souls to redemption after death.
Closing scene is cozy domesticity in the bookshop, maybe a brief consult with Dagon and Uriel about a specific human soul, A and C give them sage advice to guide the soul toward an epiphany of empathy and compassion. They look out the window together at a restored Whickber Street, arms around each other’s waists, A rests his head on C’s shoulder, long pan back, ROLL CREDITS
VAVOOM, SORTED, LOVE FUCKING WINS YOU UNBELIEVABLE TOSSERS
WHEN SOMETHING PRECIOUS IS BROKEN, YOU DON’T THROW IT AWAY — YOU PUT IN THE TIME AND THE CARE AND THE WORK TO FIX IT.
(Brian taught us this, in Season 1.)
A REPLACEMENT, HOWEVER CUTE, IS NOT THE SAME AND IS NEVER ENOUGH. IT. DOESN’T COUNT.
(Job and Sitis taught us this, in Season 2.)
The world was broken…the world they loved so much. And instead of fixing it, they threw it away for the sake of a new world of replacements. A world they themselves couldn’t even participate in. Doppelgängers are not originals — a cute human AU doesn’t count as a happy ending.
They died. And they didn’t even save the world doing it.
I will never be okay. 💔
















