Nancy T

The ramblings of a 32 year old English girl, wanting to make a tiny human. PCOS / low morphology. (PCOS, polpys, low morphology 🙄)

[alittlebitofpcos]

[mrsnancyt]

It's day 27 of 34

… And I always start to think about raiding shops for preggo tests around this time. I have zero symptoms, so just gonna ride it out until I’m due on.

It’s true what they say about hope - that there’s always a glimmer. And I think we nailed the timing this month…

I’m ready, little sprog!

[mrsnancyt]

Ready for something new

We're on the way back from our friends' beautiful wedding. As much as we enjoyed it, we both agreed that we're so done with drinking, partying and late nights. We've been there and done that and we're just so ready for something new. And that something new is you, little one. So what's taking you so long?!

[mrsnancyt]

[mrsnancyt]

Werk

On Friday, I told my boss I wanted to take a step back at work after a tough week of tears and anxiety. This will mean a lot less money, but hopefully fewer hours and more time to focus on being healthy, happy and less stressed.

This was such a hard decision, and I am beating myself up about it. I shouldn’t be stepping back, I should be moving forwards. I am good at my job, but I take it too seriously and work myself into the ground.

Time to put me and my body first. There will be time for work later. Hope I have done the right thing 😞

[chibird]

[mrsnancyt]

Needed this today 🌷

[mrsnancyt]

Dear Santa

Our appt with the consultant last week was somewhat of a turning point in our little journey so far. The consultant confirmed that the polyp he’d tried to remove was still 50% in tact, but assured us that this shouldn’t have adverse effect on our baby making abilities. Basically, everything in my lady-land is working okay (ish). Ovulating. Pretty regular periods. Good hormone levels. Clear tubes.

But we did talk about hubs, and the consultant’s outlook on his sperm morphology seemed a bit worse. We agreed to try naturally until Xmas. But after that we’d go forth and conquer IVF, as hubs’ results are bad enough for a direct referral.

Me, the planner, initially felt pleased that we had a plan - a direction - and a date to aim for.

But the following day it sank in that we could be approaching the beginning of the end for our hopes of having a small person that we’ve grown.

Trying to be positive now, and remember we are still young (ish) and even if IVF doesn’t work the first time we potentially have 7+ years before it’s approaching game over time… My bank balance is wincing at the thought!

But who knows. It might not come to this and I might be knocked up by December and having to give Santa’s sherry a miss. That wish is definitely going on my Christmas list.

[mrsnancyt]

Infertil-iversary

Well, it's 15 DPO and it's a big fat no. Period due any moment. Gross. And there was me thinking our timing was impeccable this month. Ha. But I know it's not just timing. I know we have problems - minor yes, but quite a few of them (him: morphology, me: pcos and a uterine polyp) - and I sort of just know deep down that it's just not going to happen naturally for us. Maybe that's how a lot of people feel, but I just can't see my body managing to do it. So here's where I'm at: Pros: WINE TIME. Helloooo there weekend - you gonna look mighty fine from the bottom of a bottle of wine. Cons: This marks our one year infertil-iversary (do we get cake? What, no cake?!). If we were in that lucky percentage of couples who conceived in three months, I'd be laying on this sofa, watching crap TV and cuddling a small person right now. Jeez. Mother nature can be a cruel old lady. Now please excuse me while I go and scoff some soft cheese and rare meat.

[bbybepartofmyworld]

So since I have made this mostly a TTC blog and I've been doing this for about 2 1/2 years...

Most of the TTCers I followed either got pregnant and had their babies and are Mumblrs now or are pregnant (for either the first or second time). I still follow you all, but I really would like to follow more TTCers. So if you are currently TTC. Please like or reblog this so I can follow you!!!

[hopefullybaby]

For all my TTC sisters - never forget how strong you are… how much stronger this journey has made you xxx

[mrsnancyt]

Heavy (hearted) showers

Today I helped organise a baby shower for a really good friend. I was one of two out of 9 girls who don’t have - or are expecting - kids.

All I can say is OUCH. *Everything* hurts now. My feet are sore from running around setting everything up. My arms ache from lifting up countless babes to give their mamas a rest. My jaw is stiff from all the ‘I’m so over-the-moon happy for you" grinning. But, most of all, my heart is heavy - full of all the hopelessness, loneliness and uselessness that is so often part and parcel of an infertile gal’s struggle.

I love my friends. I love their bumps. I love their babies. I truly am happy for them.

But I just want to be part of that, not a barren old bird on the periphery of what feels like real life.

I have a scan tomorrow to see what’s happening downstairs after a recent polypectomy ahead of a crazy busy week at work.

Don’t all rush to want to be me all at once, kids.

N x

[mrsnancyt]

Today

Is tough. Another pregnancy announcement from a friend. Another bout of heartache. And it’s not just heartache - it’s unwarranted shame that my (our) body isn’t good enough to make a little life.

Bleughhhh. Being me feels like a struggle today. I’m trying to be positive, but it feels like a false battle. The same old question keeps popping up: when is it our turn?

[weretrying]

What Women With Fertility Issues ACTUALLY Want You To Say

Baby-making is supposed to be a beautiful time in a woman’s life, full of emotional closeness, gleeful anticipation, and a lot of hot, unprotected boning. But if, like me, your ovaries haven’t gotten the message, it quickly becomes about as magical as a trip to the DMV — and at least at the

Thought this was insightful and well-written…