Heads up to all reading, this is a long post about my emotions during my show weekend and a small timline of events during the show. My emotions toward my first show are mixed. To start, I got third place out of three, but as Rob told me, it doesn't matter what place you got, you were up there with only three other ladies, and not everyone can say that. I felt confident in my prep, I feel I look the best I have ever looked in my entire life and Iknow what it takes to achieve this look now. That, I feel, is the key to looking the best you want to look. You have to put the time and dedication into getting to where you want to be to know you can at least acheive it. I used to be the person who made up excuses as to why I couldn't lose the 10 lbs I wanted to... alot of it was "I'm genetically set this weight and size" "my body wont let me lose the weight" "this is how I was born". Now I know none of those excsues are true. Getting to this size for myself wasn't genetics, it was hard work eating food I didnt care for, being hungry a lot, missing social events, and having long days of going to the gym. I had no clue what the weekend of the show had in store for me. Friday morning consisted of anticipation of leaving for Rockford to get my spray tan. At this point, because i had more carbs in my diet than I had in 2 weeks, I had the most energy at this time. I cleaned the bathrooms, did the dishes, packed, and got food prepared for the trip. Then we left. I got to the hotel for the tan and I think I froze for a good 2 hours getting that tan, i'm going to spare the details of getting a spray tan but I met one of my stage competitors and 2 girls from another division and we all suffered freezing together. And it was nice to get other girls backrounds and to know I'll have someone to talk to in the pump room. Once the tan was done, we went to the hotel to sit around and wait for check in. I was anticipating getting a burger that night so of course time was moving at snail pace. Finally check in came, I went to the check in table, saw the other girls who I had tanned with, we were all pretty punctual so that was nice. I went to check in and now had to wait until I found out if I could get a burger and fries. I sent coach my progress pictures and he granted me the burgers and fries but told me i had to get another layer of spray tan. Ugh, I had to be cold again. But I did it and it was worth it, I got to a good color that would show off my muscles well on stage. Next day, I woke up at about 4 am, because that is where my body clock is pretty much set for now, and just waited until the clock hit at least 5:45 to get out of bed so I didn't wake Rob. 5:45 came I started doing my hair and then had to wait to find out what I would eat for breakfast, dry oatmeal or pancakes. And it was pancakes! Woohoo!! Off to Denny's we go! After Denny's, time started to fly, make up appoint was at 7:15, got done around 8, went to the high school and then just sat around and waited until the 8:45 pre show meeting..... which wound up starting around 9:30 thanks to people not following directions. The cause of my uncontrolled anxiety round 1. I can't stand when people don't follow directions and when things are late. Anyways, now we were off. They were announcing men's bodybuilding division and I was starting to get a little nervous about going up, I was more anxious to figure out when Iwas going up becuase there was really no set time... they just said be ready (uncotrollable anxiety round 2). Well I was ready... Finally they called my division. We went up stairs from the pump room, no idea where to go... and all of sudden I'm back stage and they're announcing "women's physique division Class A". There I went out on stage like a deer in the headlights. My brain was so jumbled because I didn't have time to realize waht was even going on before I got on stage. I felt like I was shaking like crazy being up there. I heard the judges voice annouce the quarter turns and the mandatories, but I don't feel like I was really there. Alll I knew was to smile and do what they said. In my head now i'm thinking "did i flex right?" "Was I angled right" "Am I going to hit the lady next to be with my arm or my leg" it was all so rushed, thanks to all those people who felt they didn't need to pay attention at check in or arrive on time for the morning meeting. Thank you unpuncutal people and unorganized people. Lol i know i'm a bit crazy and I should find control of it becuase when you get 200 some people together it's impossible for things to run smooth, but still, it will always frustrate me. As I walked off stage all I wanted to do was get my stuff and go and see my family and friends. I was still shaking as i went into the lobby and they were all there waiting for me and cheering me as I came out. I was so happy to see all of them, all 15 of them (including 2 cutie patootie twinsies). At that point seeing my friends and family there to cheer me on made all my anxieties go away, I did this and they were there for me. We took pictures and talked and it was such a relieving moment for me to not think about the stress and anxiety i was feeling while waiting to go on stage. Then we went to Red Robin and I got to eat another burger and french fries :-) again, I was happy. I can't stress enough how happy i was to see all my family and friends there for me. Such a good feeling. As we finished lunch, the anxiety started creeping back again about having to go down to that pump room and wait for my turn to go back out on stage, this time by myself for my routine. We went back to the hotel and relaxed, I tried not thinking about the night show, but that time actually went by really fast. Now it was time to go back to the high school. Back at the high shcool in the pump up room at the time we were supposed to be there. I think there were maybe 25% of the people there..... ugh, my head was telling me "great, this is going to start late again....why can't people just pay attention to what time they need to be places" and sure enouhg we started about 15 minutes late. This time though i anticipated when i should go up stairs. I went upstairs while the division before me had their trophies called off, I wasn't going to go throuhg the whole getting backstage and going straight out again. So while waiting back there, I went throuhg my routin in my head, I felt super confident about it, I could feel the energy from the audience which helped. Finally it was my turn. The back stage manager told me i would go out behind a curtain and walk on, but he never told me when i was going to be doing this... so all of sudden, unprepared ME, i hear my song and literally run out on stage just in time to hit my mark into a front double bicep. Phew! I got this, i knew what to do and I did it even though my walk on wasn't what i planned, i still rocked my routine. Thanks to my mom's counsin Annette jumping around in excitement in the doorway of the auditorium I had something to focus on instead of staring at a dark audience. I felt sooooooo confidnet in my performance (and looking at video it showed). After my routine, I waited in the wing for trophy time. I was a little disheartened when I got third, but in my head i'm like "I did this, I got a trophy, I am here today". After that, all I wanted to do again was go get my things and see my family and friends. Well that was my experience. Sorry it was so long, but in my head this was all i was thinking and I know some people wanted to see what my experience was like (and now that i'm not spending 2 hours a day in the gym, I had some time lol). Will I do another show? Possibly. I"m going to take 2 weeks off and see how I feel. If I feel like I've had enough of crazy indulgences and want to jump back on the strategic dieting regimen for building up my back and strengthing my glutes and hamstrings, maybe I willl. But for now, it's going to be relaxing, vacationing, socializing and eating :-) Thank you everyone for your awesome support on social media. I see all the likes and comments and it makes me happy everyday that people follow my journey, if i make a small difference in someones life, I think it's really really amazing!
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