As you know hubby is "Default Locked". Basically he's locked 24/7/365 by default. No release without my permission and only for legitimate reasons.
Many men (what are these guys lawyers 😂) have asked some clarifying questions, and in fairness, my hubby had a few of them as well so I'll list them here just like my friends @denial-permanente do.
Does default locked mean no PIV?
Early on when we first started I would unlock for Penis In Vagina (PIV), then he would re-lock after. As this has evolved and since we've purchased the Vixskin Ranger there has been zero PIV. And I don't anticipate anymore.
What about BJs?
Ha! You're asking if I will perform the ultimate act of selfish male pleasure? I think you know the answer 😂
Ok but what about a BJ on the ranger?
Oh you guys would love that wouldn't you!? I'm sure hubby would too. I'm not saying no, but I would have to really want to, remember the focus is on ME!
But you have released him for a handjob correct?
Yes I have, but now that I know he cums so easily in his cage I'm not sure that's going to happen again. I like how he looks and cums while🔒🔒. But I'm not ruling it out.
Is he allowed release for cleaning?
This is a good question and for a while yes, he would unlock weekly for cleaning. Which I was totally good with, feeling unclean is NOT sexy. But then we upgraded his cleaning routine to include some silicone brushes and a detachable shower head. Now unlock is no longer necessary for proper hygiene.
What about air travel and Dr appointments?
Now you've reached the intersection of fantasy and real life. He 100% can and does unlock for those. So do I wish he didn't have to? Yes, I would LOVE him literally permanently locked🔥🔥. But we are living in the real world, so 99.44% locked is well good enough!
Do you miss the "real thing" also "How can you deny your husband your V"?
I did a post about this HERE
Short answer is: "No, not even a little" and "He asked (begged really) to be locked what did he expect?"
From your experience what's the right way for finding the perfect cage size?
I've read that it's important for it to be snug therefore a little shorter than your thing when flaccid, but I have no clue if that's true and by how much.
Being approximately 10mm when relaxed I was wondering if 9.5mm in length is the right one or if I could go for 8.5mm...
Many thanks for any advice!!
The hardest part for hubby was finding the correct ring size, too small and it restricts blood flow, too large and it slides off. So it pays to pay some extra attention to that. As far as the actual cage size, Yes go smaller than you would expect. The problem is when you're doing the measuring you tend to be a little excited and it might be bigger than it needs to be. Smaller has a few different advantages:one, it's more discreet, two,it allows less room for erections so it actually can be more comfortable.
Pro tip: women don't like talking about the specifics of cages. If the cage is super uncomfortable get another one, if it's mildly uncomfortable suffer in silence.
Actually, YOU will be doing the rest. Rubbing my feet, getting me coffee, telling me how beautiful I am, getting my car washed.... I will be focused on being a princess 👑, and having orgasms...
Do you think in a relationship in which she feels sexually disconnected chastity could help?
My girlfriend has always had a hard time getting pleasure, even on her own. Some time ago I proposed the idea of a cage for fun, but I think she found the idea of it an extra thought that wouldn't allow her to have the mindless state necessary for obtaining pleasure. And she also felt guilty at the idea of it for not giving me anything and not wanting to make me "suffer". Adding to this not working, was the fact that the cage we thought could work ended up not being a good choice.
At this point she's really loving but doesn't feel the sex drive (we aren't sure of the reason, it could be anything from frustrations to stress or who knows what, even the fact that I'm literally a lot for her to take in and this doesn't always make it easy for her). I totally respect it and try to make her feel loved in any way possible and not make her feel any weight related to our situation. This whole thing made me think how I could help her towards desire, what could possibly "wake her instincts", and also think what if we manage to find the right cage and make it a fun way of dealing with the situation, while she gets all my attentions at the moment and in the way that's just perfect for her, she doesn't have to feel guilty of anything because I'm enjoying the fact of being denied.
My view of adding chastity (or any sexual kink) to a relationship is the same as adding children to a relationship. If something is broken it won't fix it. Now there's a few exceptions to that case maybe if what's "broken" is *yawn* you're just kind of tired of the same old thing, it might help.
That said I stand by the most important thing to do is have open communication. Discuss with her how you think this might help both of you, and be fun and exciting for both of you. Also having a "nothing venture nothing gained" attitude will help, discuss maybe trying it for a period of time and if it doesn't work you guys can drop it.
I did the right thing and proposed Loctober to my wonderful girlfriend (my Goddess). And She thinks it is a really fun idea!
We will do a No-vember, there are too many other commitments on October. We are new to chastity, so She wants to start with a week and then evaluate.
This is a really special opportunity, I can't mess it up. Do you perhaps have any advice on how I could make that week the absolute best possible experience for Her?
Yours sincerely,
Skippy
Really keep the focus on her. And not "I'll lick her 24/7" that's men talk. Real attention. Getting her coffee, running to the store, doing the dishes, back rubs, watching TV she likes..... And yes in bed also, being selfless, going at her pace, etc. I want her to feel like when you 2 were 1st dating. If you do that, you will be rewarded.....
From what I've seen you have grown in to a very strict Ms , do you enjoy being asked to be unlocked so you can use the power of NO and maybe throw in some humiliation or get irritated by the begging ? 1
I like the question. I think early on when everything was new I sort of enjoyed being asked questions just to say NO. Now that we've been doing it a while it's a little more annoying when he keeps asking for things he's not going to get. (Release, pussy) Luckily the frequency of that has gone down quite a bit. Partly because as you say I'm getting more strict. As for what I enjoy, being pampered and being treated like the princess that I am 👑
