I LOVE BLACK PEOPLE.

It's a party in my tags.

[la-laborista-republiko]

[indi-element]

What's wrong?

everything bitch don’t act stupid

[vhspositive]

[thesundncekid]

Wakandan Queen at the Black Panther Premiere Shot by theSundncekid.com

[mazzystardust]

ph. Erik Madigan Heck 

[josiahkelevra]

[msboomshakalaka]

Hey guys,

I know it’s probably been years but Tumblr still has a soft place in my heart.

So I had a lil office job for a credit bureau that I quit a couple of weeks ago to move to Las Vegas to start a career in event production.

So I’m here, and while I haven’t gotten a new job yet, I’m just grateful I had the courage to let go of the old one.

To all the people that’s been following me and actually remember who I am, Heyyyyyyyyy. I hope your life has only been filled with love, happiness, and success. <3

[xabiiba-deactivated20170908]

“Ethiopia is the origin of coffee, and I am convinced that there is no better place to drink it than in its native land.” IG: fatimasiad

[fuckyeahchinesefashion]

Authentic Qing dynasty fashion by 龙梓嘉. Clothes,jewelry, furniture and decorates in photos are all antiques.   

[donavonsmallwood]

iyeisha heart by donavon smallwood

[msboomshakalaka]

I've been feeling the exact same thing. I lost someone I had that kind of connection due to my not being able to handle my feelings but I know we'll find someone to share our thoughts with and be part of something bigger than us. Wishing you the best.

<3 This has really brightened my day. Thank you for sending this :) [The more I read it, the better I feel.]

[msboomshakalaka]

I also kinda feel...like I want affection and I want to show affection.

i wanna enhance an “already there” connection with somebody. Don’t really want a boyfriend just somebody to be honest with.

I feel removed from everybody. I sometimes feel I am watching life pass right by me. It’s weird because I stay right in the mix in popular news/social media stuff, but I don’t feel like I’m a part of anything. Merely observing.

But ima be patient.

[msboomshakalaka]

Again, I am the heaviest I have ever weight in my life. 193 pounds.

No idea how I earned it. Because like at the beginning of June, I started doing a 40-minute HIIT workout 4x a week for SIX WEEKS STRAIGHT! I was eating like 70% healthy. Drank liquor the entire time tho.

I went to a kickback last month and there was a scale in the bathroom and I decided to step on it and I almost wanted to cry. I felt so defeated. All that sweating and hardwork for no reason? man i was BLOWNNNNNNN.

And I had a few aunties mention “you getting a little chubby/you eating good girl.” So it’s kind of embarassing.

but at the same time I feel like I look GOODT. I don’t feel bad that I have gained weight. I can still fit all of my clothes. But I’m bout to do the shit for real. Like chess not checkers. I even bought a scale so I will never be surprised like that again.

I’m also about to start walking. Yes. Walking. I never thought I would cause it seemed to easy. Like I played softball for eight years, took a weight training class, and was on a hip-hop dance team for two years so I always thought walking was for people who have never worked out.

But. after doing some research, it appears that it might work for me. My arms give me the most grief and I will be working them constantly as I walk. Also, thinking about walking isn’t as intense of me thinking about a HIIT workout. If I wanna be a bad biddy for life and I can maintain by walking, that’s fine with me.

Weekends are when I eat the WORST, so I HAVE to fix that. like ima google some tips and remain committed.

I’m also not drinking any alcohol for the next 4 weeks. Not sure I’ve done that since I moved back to GA and it might be kind of hard, PERO I CAN DO IT.

So ima (try):

*Drink a gallon of water a day

*Log all of what I eat and drink

*Not drink alcohol for 4 weeks

*Walk for 40 minutes 4x a week

*Meal prep weekly and STICK TO IT ON WEEKENDS

If I find the walking isn’t doing what I want after four weeks then I will go back to HIIT (I would break a mean sweat but it was moderated so one foot was on the ground the entire time. I actually started to like them.) If I stay consistent my body can be super cute by like the beginning of April. I’m gonna take before and during pics and weigh myself once a week.

I think ima write like a pledge or something to say in the morning to help motivate me to be consistent. Also gonna reward the fuck outta myself :) When I go a full 4 weeks without drinking ima buy me some J’adore by Dior perfume. It smells so freaking good to me.

2 weeks of walking 4x a week ima go to the sauna

4 weeks of walking 4x a week ima go in a sensory deprivation tank

Gotta think of a way to reward myself on weekends.

[msboomshakalaka]

However, I have started to meditate and hopefully that helps me find clarity.

I also have the book The Magic (from the same author of The Secret). People can say whatever about it but I know the first time I read the book, I was on Day 24 when I got an email from a recruiter about the job I have now (and this was the day after my phone was cut off and i was super cranky{I feel like that was the ultimate sign to tell me that it wasn't coincidence, it was because of the book.})

So ima just concentrate on those two things.

I also think ima focus on the lifestyle I wanna live and find a career that fits that and not the other way around. So got some research to do but its gonna get done.

its super frustrating, wanting to make a move but I kinda can’t. But hopefully I will know by like May of next year. Wish me luck. :) 

[msboomshakalaka]

I also think I have a deep-seated fear of being broke again.

Like yall, I was so broke at one time and I remember begging the universe for the type of job I have now.

I just cant imagine reverting.

And I have healthcare and shit now. paid days off.

I just thought about it tho, I could Uber full-time if I super dee duper had to. So I guess I can relax.

[msboomshakalaka]

I’m not really good at anything.

I tried to start a blog, but I realized I’m not really a writer. Like I enjoy reading, but when it comes to writing, my goal is usually just to get to the point of what I’m trying to say, not use interesting words to visually describe what I’m talking about (as yall can see, el oh el).

“do what you love, the money will follow.” 

I love to: get high, binge watch good ass shows, get drunk and shake my ass at the club with my friends, sleep, and be entertained.

But I was thinking as I was typing...maybe I just haven’t found what I love yet? That makes me feel better.

But if that’s it then I guess I’m going back to school.

I even have a plan in place on how to get the job. Whatever field it’s in ima read like three books about it, and then find like five black women who are currently in that field and have informational interviews with them. And then if those go well I would ask if I can shadow them for a day. This benefits me in two ways: I’m networking and I’m getting a feel for the job. It would benefit the woman I’m shadowing by me offering to help while I’m there because I definitely don’t want to just be silent and twiddle my thumbs (unless that’s what she wants)

Not gonna lie, I still do wanna work in the music industry, but entry-level folks usually don’t get paid anything and I have a damn degree and I don’t plan on making any less than I am right now.

[msboomshakalaka]

So. Feeling stuck. Ok.

I currently work for one of the three credit bureaus in the country. I work in a super white city that’s 2 HOUR COMMUTE EACH WAY. When I first got the job I didn’t care because I was donating plasma for gas money and this was the first job that I would have that would require a degree. 

Perks of my job: no stress, I can listen to music all day, little supervision, co-workers are drama free (they are all at least 20 years older than me), pay/benefits

Cons of my job: 2 hour commute, Kinda boring

And I wanna get the ball rolling and get another job, but I have no clue what I wanna do. This is nothing new, I have always changed my mind about what I wanted to do with my life but not this shit is hindering a bih. I went from wanting to be a medical doctor > psychologist > marketing/public relations assistant > music industry somebody > something that pays good.

So when I was talking to that same friend, I was telling her all this “Like i really wanna make a move, but I can’t really cause I don’t know what I wanna do...” and she was told me that’s not an excuse to not do anything. And that convo concluded with me being like “ok, I don’t have a move/shit figured out by Fall ‘17 next year, then I’m going back to school.” Which is crazy cause I NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER thought I was going back. And not to get my Master’s, hell naw. Just another Bachelors in like IT/Computer Science or something in that vein.

So I know Ima work really hard to figure something out cause I don’t wanna go back to school. But what tho. BUT WHAT THO. BUT WHAT THO.

WHAT DO I WANNA DO WITH MY LIFE?!?!?!?