How to safely bolt, 13 Tipps from a protector (osdd1 system)
I'm kind of sad to do this post, but after recent events I want to share my best tipps for living with your abuser/ living in an unstable environment where you might have to run for your safety.
Disclaimer: This isnt just for my minor systems, its for everybody that feels even an ounce unsafe in their house. Read to the end for emotional tipps, they are just as important. Know this isnt suitable for every person and every situation, just our opinion/tipps and how we handle it /TW/
Keep your shoes in your room. Then you can run any time without having to go into the hallway
Have a little bag with stuff near, but make sure to hide it (included meds, power bank, (second) phone, keys
Run into public spaces so people can see you
Be in touch with your friends, my friends let me stay with them and they have a driver liscense, I only have to send a certain emoji and they'll get me. Their parents are fine with it too
Have plans. Look around. Think of where/when to best bolt, look where the next door and windows are
Know your parents/abuser/ect triggers. Even tho it sucks to follow their rules, we do it instead of setting them off (This goes only if it isnt physical abuse/humiliating or hard labour, in that case: refuse and get out of there! This tipp is for people with parents that lash out at dishes or dirty clothes)
Know the warning signs. Our traumaholders/ Hosts make the mistake to think it isnt that bad. Do they scream? Are their fists clenched? Are there verbal threats? Thats an good enough reason to consuder bolting.
Leave nothing in your room that is important to you. While you are gone they might break or take it.
If possible write them a message and tell them youre with a friend and their parents (so they dont call the police after you)
Try to remain calm. Emotions might mess with your senses and decisions, try to breath, find a safe spot and think of the next steps
If the abuse is sexual/ repeatidly physical then dont hesitate to call emergency numbers. It will feel scary and bad, but you are strong enough to get out of there. Depending on your country there are different ways of help and it wont immedietly be foster care.
And with that: Know your rights. In my country the first steps will be staying with friends, residential groups with trained social workers ect. They cant just take you to random people and they cant take you to psych wards for no reasons. Inform yourself over your rights and options and calmly communicate them to social workers/police.
Know your worth, be brave. I know its more then scary to leave a situation and suddenly go into a completely new and foreign one that might be worse. But no matter how much your brain tells you that how you life isnt so bad: if you read this and feel this, then it might be. Know this isnt how you have to life. Know you dont deserve it. Research and question the actions of your abuser/parent, even if it hurts. You deserve help.
annaxmalina
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