Just our thoughts and life

Suspected system Sideblog: @caretaker-culture-is Please follow: @awarnessforus Reliable Education/ Tipps (questions and requests are very welcome) OSDDID memes and sketches Our life and experiences Autism, Trans, Cluster B, introject safe

[bagaluten-sys]

I like you, here have fill out charts about system terms and boundarys I made for fun:

(Reblog if use, please)

[bagaluten-sys]

Okay, im only at ep 3 of the amazing digital circus, but I am convinced its about DID, dissociation, identity, headspace and derealization, so here my take on alter roles they would have :

Caine - Gatekeeper

Jax - Persecutor

Ragatha - Emotional Caretaker

Pomni - (new) Host

Kinger - Traumaholder

[bagaluten-sys]

(Vent)

I just asked my mother if I may tell her something that bothers me and she said yes. I told her I wish I could go on walks again and that im scared I'll use mobility aids for the rest of my life and that it came unexpected to me that im chronically ill. I said im used to it being in my mind but now suddenly my body isnt letting me do anything and its confirmed. I only got the actual diagnosis at the end of the last month.

She only looked at the TV. Then she asked "do I have to say sonething to that?" without looking at me. Shee said "it was to be expected with the way you live." I tried telling her it comes from Covid and she told me I never had it. I told her I had it 3 times and explained how my POTS came from covid and not my lifestyle habits and she got angry bc I was arguing with her. Then she said "it is what it is, you have to life with it" and "Its not an excuse, you will still move out this month" (I never mentioned wanting to stay longer).

Im just so sad, why am I still trying to talk to her after 18 years?

[bagaluten-sys]

Just walked 10min to the pharmacy for my POTS. Guess who wont use their legs for the rest of the dayyyy

[bagaluten-sys]

Max Black from 2 Broke Girls suffers from pathological demand avoidance / oppositional defiance disorder and nobody can tell me otherwise

[bagaluten-sys]

I just got my first "get well soon" as a person with a chronic illness/disability. It was from the job center after I explained while im not interested in a talk about a job since im not able to, lol. Thank you, Mr. Marc, wont get better tho.

[bagaluten-sys]

Not to brag, but I just called social services on my own (im 18)

[bagaluten-sys]

Someone un-gay me; I thought about him listening to fucking Ed Sheeran

[bagaluten-sys]

Im not sure which of my disorders this is, but sometimes I get nauseas, dizzy, my heart rate spikes, my blood pressure is too low and I cant think and then I turn off my big light and watch Family Guy deep dives and its okay again after an hour.

[bagaluten-sys]

"What would happen if [insert adult cartoons family] was investigated by CPS?"

Proly nothing or something worse, idk

[bagaluten-sys]

Here some things I was grateful for/happy about as a psychologically disabled and chronically ill teen ('cause im a trend follower):

-Had one evening where I ate and didnt feel nauseous

-Was able to write a chapter on my laptop

-Actually used my cane in public after I was in the hospital

-Didnt shut down despite an emotional flashback

-Made it to another diagnosis appointment

-Overcame emetophobic thoughts bc I threw up in the hospital and it wasnt as bad as I thought

-Brought a watch to keep track of my vitals

-Switching with AJ after a hard day

-Having PoTS and a second diagnosis on paper

[bagaluten-sys]

I hate inconsistency in my skill levels

[bagaluten-sys]

I lowkey hate myself but I would lowkey date myself if there was a second version of me and I would lowkey kiss him and reassure him lowkey

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Real reason Im learning how to draw:

[bagaluten-sys]

Im resenting art atp 'cause I feel like it gets worse everytime I continue

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Adults will teach me all my life how hitting isnt the answer and then tell me I should join the military to solve a fight through shooting (its manditory to fill the papers out and I couldnt even vote)

[bagaluten-sys]

Being chronically ill is weird, you fall asleep after vomiting in one hospital room and wake up in another hospital room where they repeatidly tap your ear for some fucking reason.