Ashley

👑💖✨

[mothershiip]

It’s thunderstorm szn ⛈

[doujinshi]

out here makin business deals

[constructedparadox]

Strap in, everyone, looks like it’s gonna be a wild ride

[movedtozixxie]

[dirtybabez]

watch sexy bae near your home here!

[bewareofthecar1966]

a girl i know told me how a guy she knows once moved out from his parents, ate nothing but fries and meatballs for HALF A YEAR, and got scurvy. imagine the doctor’s face when this guy shows up with like his gums bleeding and the doc has to fucking say DUDE…. THATS SCURVY…. in this day and age

[bewareofthecar1966]

this is turning into a “how a person i know got scurvy” thread and im so here for this, please share your scurvy stories if you have any

[aquarianconstellations]

the other day someone posted pics from the reddit page r/zerocarbs where these fools only ate meat and 0 vegetables or fruits and all the posts were about various symptoms of scurvy. i died when one literally read ‘i don’t want to start the vitamin C debate again but’

[bewareofthecar1966]

THE VITAMIN C DEBATE

[elidyce]

My mother told me all about scurvy when I was five and trying to resist eating pumpkin and let me tell you it’s been 35 years and I still get nervous if I go for two days without eating a green vegetable. 

I told my own little picky eater about scurvy, rickets etc and now one of her most frequently requested lunch items is baby spinach, closely followed by carrots.

I’m not saying everyone should mildly traumatize their children to make them understand that vegetables are vital to ongoing possession of your teeth and organs, but.. no, that’s exactly what I’m saying. Go for it. 

[ariadne83]

some guys i used to know went on a boys only road trip. they decided they were only going to eat things they could cook on the engine block of the car.

two of them got scurvy. one of them drank so much jagermeister + red bull that he temporarily lost the ability to see in colour.

[dexvoan]

im sorry he what now

[ramblingcryptid]

I’m in love.

[mulattominx]

Ohhhhhh, the irony.

[christianstepmoms]

If they’re really scanning pornography based on fleshtones furries will inevitably survive the Horny Purge like roaches in a Nuclear Clamity

[that-twink-over-there]

I’m full of garlic bread and homosexual thoughts

[that-twink-over-there]

As of December 18th I will only be full of garlic bread

[watacco-deactivated20181130]

“imagine i had i bowl of skittles and three of them could kill you-”

[library-mermaid-blog]

Customers who get angry when I read them their total cost are so compelling to me. Take charge of your narrative, Janice. Be the hero of your own story. You are the one who is purchasing $113.67 worth of adult zen coloring books, Janice. It’s not me you hate, Janice. It’s not me.

[mulattominx]

“The prices have gone up...” well ya when you buy 3 cases of candy

[thebootydiaries]

*throws tissue into trash can from two feet away*

me: BALLIN

me: BALL IS LIFE

me: BASKETBALL NEVER SLEEPS

me: KOBE TELL ME HOW MY ASS TASTES

[flavoracle]

I rarely criticize my wife, but when I do, it’s spoken directly to her, in private, and with love.

I don’t speak negatively about my wife to other people. Not because she’s perfect (which is an impossible and unfair standard) but because she deserves a husband she can trust. To say anything about my wife that I wouldn’t say to her face, would be a betrayal of that trust.

I never want her to spend a single moment worrying about the way I talk about her when she’s not around.

[smallmight-72]

A little louder

[flavoracle]

I RARELY CRITICIZE MY WIFE, BUT WHEN I DO, IT’S SPOKEN DIRECTLY TO HER, IN PRIVATE, AND WITH LOVE. 

I DON’T SPEAK NEGATIVELY ABOUT MY WIFE TO OTHER PEOPLE. NOT BECAUSE SHE’S PERFECT (WHICH IS AN IMPOSSIBLE AND UNFAIR STANDARD) BUT BECAUSE SHE DESERVES A HUSBAND SHE CAN TRUST. TO SAY ANYTHING ABOUT MY WIFE THAT I WOULDN’T SAY TO HER FACE, WOULD BE A BETRAYAL OF THAT TRUST. 

I NEVER WANT HER TO SPEND A SINGLE MOMENT WORRYING ABOUT THE WAY I TALK ABOUT HER WHEN SHE’S NOT AROUND. 

(is that loud enough?) 

[catchymemes]

[mihgyu]

men moaning is basically the hottest thing a guy can do besides give you neck kisses

[r-efracted]

lets not forget when they whisper ugh fuck under their breath

[ehunk]

or when they write me a check for $100,000

[memehumor]

The fact that you cannot find any journals to back up your viewpoint MAY suggest you need to reassess your viewpoint…

[tikkunolamorgtfo]

Okay, but for real—I’m a librarian and I get shit like this all the fucking time and I have to be so polite about it, like “Well, actually, that theory has been largely been debunked and is not supported by the scientific community, so perhaps it might be easier in terms of fulfilling the parameters of the assignment if you were to take the opposite stance for your paper?” when really I just want to scream for twenty minutes like Jake Peralta with a guitar. 

[quasi-normalcy]

Do…

Do people not understand that the research is supposed to come before you formulate your opinion?

[tastefullyoffensive]

[i-have-no-gender-only-rage]

feel good memes

[saltrat88]

I don’t need the added dust in the eye this mornin, but maybe some of you do.