The Straightest in All the Land

They/he | ♐︎☉☿♇ | ♌︎☽♃ | ♍︎↑ | ♏︎♀︎ | ♎︎♂︎ | ♊︎♄ | ♒︎♅♆ | 🌪️♊︎☿ Dominant | ESFP (Se/Te) | MF-Se/Te-PB/C(S) | 873 [8w7, 7w8, 3w4] so/sx | Red/Blue | Choleric

[littleidiotboy-deactivated20221]

Cute first date ideas:

Arson

[czesca]

i'm not like other girls. I'm deficient in more vitamins

[mulgrohiik]

If I see one more person say "the zodiacs" I'm going to key their car

[succubusboyfriend]

me at any given time: can we just buckle down and focus on the task at hand please???

my brain:

my brain: ……….ranibow sprimkle……………

[succubusboyfriend]

ranibow sprimkle……..

[cr0wswithknives]

kepchup.

[cosmicyeehaw]

SPINCH

[oli-nerd]

B A N C H

[scoobertdoobertlove]

chichen nuggest

[yondus-wife]

b R o G L e

[borzboy]

strawbebbies..

[sprayed-cheese]

this post almost moved me to tears

[were-owl-deactivated20241025]

Tag yourself, I’m spinch or rainbow sprimkle

[justnick612-deactivated20210723]

I’m kepchup lmao

[fysticalmorest]

Brogle and rainbow sprimkle

[atlinmerrick]

This is so charming I feel punched in the solar plexus and I’m here for this sort of gentle, sweet violence.

[kristiemewisstan]

some additions from my own collection

[weepingwillo-deactivated2022071]

[heateron]

i’m not one of those old souls this is definitely my first life i am rawdogging it. and badly

[asfgjfkgjnfkjgnkfjg]

Can’t relate, kid, can’t relate… Over 700 lives, lost count… Having past lives is both a blessing and a curse. Though I am wise from my countless lives, I am also haunted. I cry and scream thinking about the horrific things I did as Dream, Ouma, Light, Hannibal, Adachi, and the Red Impostor. I break down thinking about how I never saved people who died in my past lives I held dear. I never saved Hank, Carmen, Signora, Aerith, or Sans. It hurts, but I’m wise. I’m powerful. Most people don’t remember a single past life. The soul wipes itself clean to create a new being. All paint is scrubbed off an old and dusty canvas to make way for something new.

After all, isn’t doing the same thing over and over the definition of insanity? It requires a lot of practice to unlock your past lives… However, it’s true that most people are on their first lives. This is because your scope of realities broadens after your first few. After 5 lives, you can be born into all sorts of magical realities. After 100, you can be born as something a level beyond anything physical. After 1,000, you can ascend to Godhood if you try… But most fail. Most who try to ascend die their final death at the hands of Squid Game, the archangel who used to server under the deceased god Dave Scourge-Uzumaki Johnson who perished in the Yaoi War.

Be good… Most don’t reincarnate. They enter whatever afterlife they believe fits them, or if they are heinous, sent to their worst nightmares. You have to be tapped into things to reincarnate. You have to be aware and alert. However, after 5 reincarnations, you’re locked in. It’s hard to break that cycle unless you do something incredibly heinous, permanently shift to a reality which is in the phase of post-death, or sacrifice yourself. 

If you’re heinous, especially heinous? Well…

Ronald Reagan resides in the Cornfield. Joseph Smith resides in the Cornfield. Prince Philip resides in the Cornfield. Every billionaire goes to the Cornfield. You don’t want to go there.

But yeah, go hard on your first lives. Just don’t hurt others, and tap into your spirit to ward off demons. Smoke as much weed as possible. It’ll save you a lot in the long run.

[mulgrohiik]

Now we have this nice little android-only group chat... who wants to have a sleepover and play never have I ever??

[soulswimmr]

Cannot WAIT for samsung’s next ad campaign being “if you download tumblr on our phones we’ll let you say #girl”

[sexhaver]

im not saying iphone users deserve this for the last decade of ignoring all of the device's flaws and saying androids have worse cameras [because snapchat initially didn't optimize for android cameras and just took a screenshot of their preview instead of using the API to take an actual picture], but im not not saying that. i don't have to worry about ios users getting mad about this post because they can't even see it

[mulgrohiik]

I hate the burnt out gifted kid narrative so much,, just say you peaked in year 7 and move along PLEASE

[mellie-mp3]

stop saying "sorry for party rocking", instead try "thank you for your allowing me to party rock" or "I appreciate you being patient with me as I party rock, in the house tonight"

[cherryhomo]

reblog this w your weirdest fear!!! mine’s balloons

[cherryhomo]

I said weirdest not deepest! stop reblogging this w shit like ‘my life falling apart’ and ‘intimacy’ and have fun!! be scared of figurines or something damn

[merethicera]

ppl from this country know SO much about elder scrolls its unreal

[headspace-hotel]

Also I was looking at 2021 in paleontology and apparently this year we discovered this awful shark that is wider than it is long

why

[headspace-hotel]

I love this thing

[hexpress]

can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like stupid sharks?

[weaver-z]

I could really use a fish right now

[autistic--cryptid]

__[ _ _ •]–

platypus

[bellflower-islandsparkle]

An ordinary platypus?

[kurara-black-blog]

_/-\_ –[• _ _ ]__

[coffeedrunk]

pErRy tHe pLaTyPuS?!

[linafication]

the most iconic polycule of all time…a, e, i, o, u, & sometimes y…

[amazoogle]

everyone stop recognizing the british monarch and her stupid family challenge. like bitch who even are you? "the" queen? ok.. all women are queens. go work the fields

[mclennonyaoi]

uhm actually saying “go touch grass” is really offense because some people are allergic to grass and you’re basically telling them to kill themselves via fjdjfhskdiewnaldkskjdjenw 10;8:!/&&/ snjdjdjdjebssk xdmdmw 7 (walked into an electric fence)

[mclennonyaoi]

diversity win! the person who is using an electroshock weapon against you over and over is using your preferred pronouns!

[julian-is-vibing-here-deactivat]

ID: Tumblr tags reading #good. taze xem again. /End ID

[mclennonyaoi]

diversity win! this post about you being electrocuted is now accessible to screen readers.