Her eyes felt sticky after staring at the screen for so long, but she was too stubborn to stop. Her research took up most of her time and sanity–and it’s also why she’s stuck in the research labs at 12:56AM. It’s not like she can’t work back at her tiny apartment, it’s just that the air of academia the university exudes fuels her. She typed away at her document until it was exactly 1AM, then she promptly shut her laptop screen and packed her stuff. Grad school was hard, much harder than she expected, but luckily she loved what she was doing. Researching was her gift, and she was determined to publish her findings. Almost three years into grad school, and she wouldn’t want to be doing anything else. Except for now. Now, she wished she were anywhere, doing anything else.
Across the hall, she could see her best friend, Kira, working her way over to where she was standing. A sense of urgency filled her veins. Y/N panicked slightly, taking in her surroundings. The whole floor was separated by glass windows, so unfortunately she couldn’t just hide.
Y/N stepped out into the narrow, unlit hallway between labs and saw a tall, dark figure approaching. She could tell that it was a man, but no one she could recognize in the dark. He was busy reading some files when Y/N sped up to meet him.
“Hi, can I kiss you?” She spoke hushedly and quickly. She just barely got a grunt of acknowledgement from the man before she pressed her lips against his. The man was stunned for a few moments but tentatively began reciprocating the kiss. One of his hands went to stabilize her waist when she threw her arms around his neck. It was nice. Actually, it was more than nice. The man was eager–not too eager, but still borderline shy and polite. Y/N’s hands felt around and were met with soft tendrils of hair.
It seemed as though her mind blanked completely. The kiss consumed her brain energy enough to make her reel while pulling away. Taking her first full breath since the kiss, she–oh no.
No.
No no no.
The man she’d just kissed was none other than Dr. Spencer Reid.
*loosely based off of the novel The Love Hypothesis by Ali Hazelwood, I have NO INTENTION of copying/reproducing their work, simply drawing inspiration from the storyline*
Warnings - Language, not proofread?, idk if there are anymore but lmk if there are
Summary - Spencer’s always loved his job, but how much does he love it when it gets in the way of him and his family?
Category - hurt/comfort, domestic fluff
Word Count - 3k
A/N - idk if this is cringy or not but i thought the idea was cute so…….
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The soft click of the door woke you from your much-needed sleep. Juggling a full time job and watching your angel, but sometimes a gremlin, of a daughter was stressful. Spencer was around, not as much as you’d like him to be, but he was trying his hardest. You sat up slightly and rubbed your eyes, your vision focusing on who had come through the door.
It was your husband.
“Hey. I’m sorry for waking you, I tried not to be too loud.”
You shook your head as a small smile formed on your face, “It’s okay. I missed you so much.”
“I missed you too.” He walked up to the edge of the bed and engulfed you in a hug that served to show you how much he longed for your touch while he was away. The idea of physical touch was something that always irked him, especially when he was younger and after his release from incarceration. He hated when someone would touch him without permission. Wayward brushes and forced handshakes aggravated him but he was much too quiet to address his annoyance.
When he met you a couple of months after he came back from prison and recovered from the whole cat fiasco, he was initially reluctant to give his heart away again. He was afraid that you’d be a repeat of Maeve, his first love. He expressed his worries and you understood. From then on, you became his best friend, his only friend who knew about his feelings and his fears and his shortcomings. You made him happier than he had ever been before. You helped him learn how to love himself in a way that he had never loved himself before.
You always joked about your time working as a flight attendant and how one of the safety instructions applied to him. It never really clicked in his mind but you never fully explained until you rejected his romantic advances…
“No, I'm serious.”
He sipped his glass of wine, skepticism written all over his face. “How does anything from your days as a flight attendant apply to me?”
You picked your legs up from the edge of the couch and crossed your legs, turning your body to face him fully. You took a sip of your wine before proceeding, “You know that thing where all the flight attendants have to demonstrate safety procedures in the aisle ways?” He nodded. “The one thing we always have to say, especially if there are parents and children onboard is, ‘Before you help others, you must first help yourself’.”
He furrowed his eyebrows. “I still don’t understand how that has anything to do with me.”
“Spencer,” you took his hands in yours, “You are a kind, selfless man that puts others before yourself. Why do you think your wounds never heal? You never think about yourself.”
“I do.”
You shook your head and squeezed his hands tighter, “No, you don’t. You never want to burden others with your own thoughts or feelings so you bottle it all up inside and bury it deep down. You can never heal if you don’t have any self-respect.”
He looked away from you as he began to tear up. “Spencer,” you brushed your hand against the side of his face, his stubble scratching the palm of your hand, “You are not a bad man. You are deserving of love. You are deserving of your own love. Do not ever think that you are less than.”
Tears drops rolled down his face freely as he leaned into your touch, “Y/N.”
You ran your hands up and down his back as he sobbed into your shoulder. “You need to love yourself before you give your heart away to me. I need you to be able to tell me you love every part of yourself, all the pure and innocent parts and all the dark parts. Ask me again when you love yourself as much as you love your mom or your friends or your job.”
He whimpered quietly when you pulled away from his grasp. You lifted his face with your finger on his chin as you wiped away his wet cheeks. “I promise, this isn’t because I don’t have feelings for you, Spence. I do, I have very very strong feelings for you, but I want you to learn to love yourself first before you learn to love me.” You gave him a kiss on his cheek and pulled him into another hug, trying to hug away all the pain, all the trauma, all the hurt.
Months went by and, with your help, Spencer came to understand how much he had loathed himself. He realized why he used his mirror as a coat rack… to cover his reflection.
He took all the coats off the large mirror and sat himself down on the floor at the base of it. He stared into the glass and looked at the different parts of him that he disliked.
His hair that always seemed to change since he never thought he looked good with the hairstyle prior to the ones he had before. The bags under his eyes that served as a reminder of all the late nights he spent studying late while making sure his mother was alright. The scars, all of them, that told his tragic history at the BAU. All of the good and the bad and the ugly, he reminisced about it all.
You sat down beside him and leaned your head onto his shoulder, letting him know that you were there for him. He smiled and leaned his head on yours, looking at himself and then you. He smiled, satisfied with who he was, with who he became, for the first time in his life.
“Yes.”
He looked at you confused. “Yes, what?”
“Yes, I’ll go on a date with you.” He smiled softly and pulled you into a hug. How you could read him so easily left him dumbfounded.
Eventually, he asked you to marry him just as you were about to tell him that you were pregnant. Time flew and he was happy with his marriage and his daughter and his life… almost.
“Daddy!” The two of you turned around when your screaming 5-year-old came running in, jumping into her father’s arms. “Daddy! I missed you!” She snuggled her little face into his curly hair and wrapped her tiny arms around his chest.
“I missed you too, princess.”
You smiled at the sweet moment and rubbed your daughter’s back lovingly. “Aurora, you were supposed to go to sleep three hours ago.”
She turned to sit on Spencer’s lap and face you. “I did, Mommy. I went to sleep and I waited for Daddy while I was sleeping and I woke up when I heard Daddy come home.”
“Mhm.”
She turned back to her dad and used her very small hands to grab his face, “Daddy! Daddy! Can we have a sleepover tonight? Pleaseeeeeee?” She began to pout, giving him her signature puppy dog eyes.
“You have to ask Mommy about that.” She immediately turned to you and began pouting to you while Spencer joined in.
“Please, Mommy. Just for tonight, pleaseeeee.”
“Yeah, just for tonight,” Spencer chimed in. You gave him a ‘really?’ look and sighed, shaking your head.
“Okay, fine. Just for tonight though, you have to be able to sleep in your room tomorrow like a big girl.”
“Yay! Daddy, we get to have a sleepover tonight.”
He smiled and gave her a kiss on the forehead, “I’m excited. Let me go get changed out of my work clothes and then all three of us can snuggle like you like, okay princess?”
She nodded eagerly as she hopped into the middle of the bed and clung to your side, wiggling anxiously for Spencer's return. You pulled her closer to you and brushed any stray hairs out of her face. She smiled and gave you a little kiss on the nose, the smell of her apple shampoo wafting around you.
“Mommy?”
You looked at her with a smile. “Hm?”
“Can we go to the park tomorrow after school?”
“Okay, do you just want to go to the park to play with your friends?”
She shook her head rapidly. “No. I wanna get pinecones.”
You chuckled, “Pinecones? For what?”
“So I can make a pinecone family. One for me and one for you and one for Daddy. Daddy can come too! I want Daddy to come so he can tell me about the pinecones.”
You smiled, she always loved when Spencer rambled about the most random things— it kept her entertained. “Okay, Daddy can come too. But he might be busy tomorrow, you know he has to work with Aunt Emily and the rest of them.”
“Who has to work with who?” Spencer made his way out of the bathroom and lifted the covers to get into bed.
“Can you come to the park tomorrow with me and Mommy? I want to get pinecones!”
He looked at you solemnly. “I- I don’t know, princess.”
“Why don’t you know, Daddy?” She looked at him with a genuine curiosity that glimmered in her hazel eyes.
“I have work tomorrow, I might have a case.”
“Okay, Daddy.” She climbed onto his chest and wiggled her face into the crook of his neck. The disappointment was evident on her face as the guilt was evident on his. You rubbed his arm comfortingly and kissed your daughter as she drifted off.
Her eyes fluttered shut and her breaths became even. “She’s asleep, Spence.”
“I’m a horrible father.”
“What?” You sat up to look at him as he averted his gaze to the mirror that was once covered with cardigans.
“I’m never here and you know it. I- I’m just like my dad.”
“No, you’re not. Your dad left you and your mom because he didn’t give a damn about either of you. You love us both but you also have an important job. She’s too young to understand, Spence.”
A stray tear fell down his cheek. You leaned over to wipe it up and kiss his pouty lips. “I love you and she loves you and you love us. That’s all that matters. She’ll get it when she gets a bit older. As long as you’re doing what you love, I’m happy.”
He nodded, still unconvinced. He wrapped what he had left of his arm around you and kissed you, your daughter laying in between the two of you. You began to fall asleep while Spencer spent the rest of the night thinking about whether or not he was truly happy.
Before he knew it, the alarm on the side of the bed began to ring— signaling the three of you to get up. Spencer shook you awake. You smiled and gave him a good morning kiss, reluctant to get out of the warm, cozy comfort of your bed.
Your morning routine passed by in a breeze. Spencer left first, having to be at work the earliest. Before he left though, he spent any spare time he had helping you pack Aurora’s lunch or helping her get ready when she couldn’t decide on what to wear. He gave you a kiss on the cheek before leaving.
You dropped Aurora off at school and prepared for a busy day at work, trying your best to finish all your work before you had to pick your daughter up— you didn’t want to bring any work home, especially because you were supposed to bring her to the park.
It would be nice if Spencer were around more. You were stressed and overwhelmed from time to time and having him around to help would relieve some of that pressure. But you couldn’t ask him to give something he loved up, it was too selfish of you. He had been through so much in his life, the least you could do is let him do what he loved no matter how much of a burden it was on you.
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You parked next to the curb by the park and unbuckled your daughter from her car seat. She held your hand, tightening and relaxing her grasp as she continued rambling about how excited she was to collect all her pinecones. She insisted on gluing googly eyes on them and using different craft supplies to make them look as human as possible so she could bring them to show and tell at school.
“How about this one, sweetheart?” You picked up one of the prettier pinecones and showed it to her. She gave her approval and handed you the basket so you could put it in. You kept walking around the park, picking up pinecones and an assortment of other “lost things”— something she got from all the Tinkerbell movies.
You reached down to pick a shiny object before you felt Aurora tugging on the sleeve of your sweater. You looked up at her, “What’s wrong?”
She pointed at something behind you, “Mommy, is that Daddy?”
You turned around and saw a tall, skinny man waving happily at the two of you. You smiled and nodded at your daughter when she looked up at you for your approval to run to him. She dropped her basket and ran as quickly as her tiny legs could carry her while making grabby hands in the air. She jumped into his arms as he picked her up and spun her around— his messenger bag falling onto the green grass.
“Daddy!”
“Hi, princess! I missed you so so much.”
She giggled, “You saw me this morning, Daddy.”
“I know, but I still miss you.” She wrapped her arms around his neck as her hands found their way to his fluffy, curly hair. She wiggled out of his grasp as her feet landed on the grass. Aurora quickly grabbed his bag and his hand and pulled him to you.
As they both made their way over, he looked at you with a wide smile on his face— he looked as happy as he did the day you got married or when you told him about your pregnancy or when the two of you got to hold you little girl for the first time.
“Look, Daddy! The pinecones that we collected are in here and me and Mommy were going to go to the other park and get pretty flowers so we can dry them!”
“That sounds wonderful. Why don’t you count and make sure that you have enough pinecones before we go?” She nodded as he turned to you and pulled you into an earth-shattering kiss.
You pulled away for air, gasping. “What’s got you so happy today?”
He rubbed the back of his neck nervously, “I- I um, I might have quit.”
“Quit what?”
“My job.”
“What?”
“I didn’t want to spend so much time away from you and Aurora anymore. I always leave and go away on cases. I- I just, I want to settle down now… with you.” He took both of your hands and rubbed his thumbs over the top of them. He placed a kiss on both of them staring into your eyes lovingly. You leaned into him as he wrapped his arms around you.
“Okay, Daddy. I counted and there are 17 pinecones. We can go get flowers now, I think.” He chuckled, pulling away from you and picking up your little girl.
“Okay, let’s go.”
“Wait, Daddy?” He looked at her with curious eyes. “Can you tell me about pinecones?”
He nodded with a smile ever-present on his face, “Of course. So these pinecones are native to the Virginia area. They’re the Loblolly Pinecones or Pinus Taeda and…”
Spencer continued to talk as all three of you got in the car. After about 5 minutes of driving, soft snores came from the back seat. Looking back, you found Aurora sound asleep after the restless day at school and running around in the park. You smiled and turned back around to see Spencer doing the same.
“What did Emily say about your leaving?”
“She told me that she was happy for me and that the future ahead would require a lot of my time. I don’t particularly know what she meant by that though. Maybe she was just trying to sound like those little phrases that you find in fortune cookies. She did tell me she wanted to write a few of them a while back.”
You laughed quietly, “I might have an idea as to what she was alluding to.”
He pursed his lips slightly. “I think she was talking about that one girls' night where we were all playing truth or dare.”
“I- I don’t get it.”
“I may or may not have let out a little secret that you don’t know about yet.”
He continued driving with his eyes on the road, though you could tell he wanted to look at you. “And what might that secret be?”
You looked at him slyly while grabbing his hand and not-so-chalantly moving it over to your stomach, “Why don’t you take a guess?”
It took him a while for him to figure it out, but once he did, he audibly gasped. “Really? How- how long have you known?”
“A week or two. I- I didn’t know how to tell you but since you so conveniently brought it up today, I thought I would just break the news.” He smiled, driving with one hand on the wheel and the other rubbing your stomach.
“Now I can finally be there for all of their firsts.”
“Mhm.”
“I’m so glad to have met you, Y/N. You saved me.” You looked at him with an endearing smile as he took a quick glance at you, immediately returning his eyes to the road. You giggled at his cautiousness and leaned over slightly to give him a kiss.
You were right all along, it would have taken everything in him to love you and your family if he didn’t love himself first. Now, the love came effortlessly… the love for you and your little pinecone family.
So…I was looking through the seasons to find one of my favourite episodes when I come across season 4 ep 12 named Soulmates and who’s on the cover Aaron Hotchner and Emily Prentiss. HOTCHNISS 😍😍😍 THEY ARE SOULMATES!
Then I’m begging you to stay out of the tags. There’s no need to tag the ship and profess your enormous hate for them. It doesn’t look right and it’s kind of pathetic.
Teacher love syndrome? More like boss - subordinate love syndrome.
Right after Hotch says that, the camera just happens to focus on Emily. Please, could it be any more obvious? 🙄
One half of that teacher-student duo was named Tommy. Tommy as in Thomas Gibson? As in Paget usually calls him Tommy in interviews? Too much coincidence for me 🤭
At the end of the episode, the four of them are still talking about the teacher love syndrome.
Even Morgan appears at some point in the scene. But there’s no sign of Hotch or Emily 🤭
Here’s another thing that caught my eye. This episode just happens to be the one where Garcia and Kevin break up. Were the writers trying to tells us something by not having Hotch and Emily with the rest of the team in that last scene? That something similar had happened to them in the last months? Well, not an actual break up, but the definite end of the relationship they previously had? 👀
(if you are new to this blog, you can go check out the master list on my page, specifically the season 6-7 posts, to understand what I’m talking about in this part)
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That woman just happens to walk by when Hotch touches Emily’s hand. How convenient 🙄
Reasons why I think Emily and Clyde TOTALLY had a thing way back then---and should rekindle that while he’s on CM this season:
1. Conversation from Coda:
a. Clyde: Hello, darling.
Emily: Let’s make this quick, I took a late lunch.
Clyde: But how many times do I have to tell you, I’m not quick about anything.
Emily: I don’t know, how about that time I blew my cover in Prague. You took out that sentry before I could even draw my weapon. You saved my ass Clyde.
Clyde: I’m surprised you remember little people from your Interpol days now that you’re a posh FBI profiler.
Emily: What’s being done to locate Doyle?
…
Clyde: I will find him, darling. Trust me.
Emily: I don’t trust anyone anymore.
b. It is clear from this conversation that Emily and Clyde have a rapport. He even calls her Darling. While you might say this is just an English thing, he doesn’t call Tsia Darling. Not to mention, the blatant references about not being quick about anything.
2. Conversation from Valhala
a. Clyde: Wait, when you went undercover, I promised no one would harm you.
Emily: I’m not undercover anymore.
…
Emily: Doyle was in Quan Li So?
Clyde: Ah, well that was on a need to know.
Emily: And you didn’t think I needed to know that, are you kidding me?
Clyde: And what good would that do?
Emily: You don’t get to decide what’s good for me anymore. What else aren’t you telling me?
Clyde: That’s it.
Emily: You said he was in Russia.
Clyde: No actually Sean McAllister told you that.
Emily: Tsia, get him off the phone.
Clyde: What are you gonna do Em? Eh, what are you gonna do? You gonna runaway, ya, you’re good at that.
Emily: Tsia…
Clyde: Bloody hell…
b. The two parts of this conversation that I deem to be the most important are the first line, in which Clyde promises nothing will happen to her, and when Clyde says ask Em, not Emily, another nickname, what she’s going to do. Furthermore, he says she’s going to run, which she’s good at, which means she’s done it before.
3. Clyde in “Lauren”
a. Hotch: (reading a report Easter wrote) October 2006. In closing, I have never worked with a finer agent than Emily Prentiss. Her skill at analyzing and predicting terrorist behavior is unparalleled. Signed and redacted. You used all the right buzz words, told us everything we wanted to here. You sold her to us the same way you sold Doyle to the North Koreans.
Clyde: Just because you know how I profile, doesn’t mean you know me.
…
Hotch: Did you know that Jeremy sold the list to Doyle?
Clyde: I had my suspicions.
Hotch: So when you got to D.C. you couldn’t trust Tsia either. Prentiss read your doubt as duplicity and so did we.
Clyde: Well, you could have just asked me who Doyle’s plant was.
Hotch: Would you have told me?
Clyde: No.
Hotch: Someone we both care about is in trouble. I need the original profile when Doyle as a terrorist, we combine that with who he is now as a serial killer.
Clyde: Agent Hotchner, you took an oath to protect the laws of your country, and I took one to protect the secrets of mine. Do you understand what your asking?
Hotch: I know it’s not easy—
Clyde: I’ll do it, if you join me. You see there’s no catching that man. He’ll escape your prison as easily as he did North Korea and then all hell breaks loose. If you want to stop that man, you have to put a bullet between his eyes yourself. Can you do that? Can you break your oath Agent Hotchner?
Hotch: No.
Clyde: Can you take one then? Can you swear that your team will save her?
Hotch: Yes.
b. Here we see that Clyde gave Emily a stellar review, which in itself isn’t too surprising, I mean come on, it’s Emily, of course he’ll give her a good review, but no finer agent than Emily, her skills are unparalleled? And then, Clyde makes Hotch take an oath to save her. No matter what. He has to save her. Clyde is willing to break his oath to his country, something that I doubt will have been looked at with approval back in England, in order to save Emily. Look at the first episode of season 7, even the Americans didn’t approve of the way in which Emily’s fight with Doyle and how they saved her. Do you think the British SIS are loving the way Clyde was involved in an international incident that required him to share British secrets? Isn’t sharing American secrets considered treason? Wouldn’t that be along the same theory in England?
4. Now take a look back at Emily’s history with men.
a. Didn’t JJ once say: “Hot British dude with a sexy accent, badge and gun. Just your type” to Emily about Mick Rawson, another former British SIS? So Emily could clearly like Clyde who is a Hot British dude with a sexy accent, badge and gun.
b. While Emily and Clyde may not have actually gotten together back then since they recognized the problems Tsia and Jeremy had, I think all this flirting and I will betray my country for you, is just too much not to mean anything.
I would just like to remind everyone that THIS was the look on Aaron Hotchner's face AFTER Emily told him that she only had six hours left before she had to go back to London:
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