mumi

we do not give a fuck

[bearinlaice]

One shot where the reader is sick and bakugo is taking care of her but they aren’t dating theyr js friends but obviously he likes her so he comes to her house to take care of her idk >_<

𐔌 i’ll take care of you | k. bakugo .ᐟ ֹ ꒱ִ

ᝰ.ᐟ cw: fluffy, comfort, implied mutual pining, bantering, sick!fem!reader, she may be a bit bratty (?), caretaker!bestfriend!katsuki, he invades your home lol, domesticsuki, possibly ooc

ᝰ.ᐟ synopsis: you’re sick with the flu and your grumpy bestfriend decides to take care of you

ᝰ.ᐟ a/n 💬: he’s only here because you’re incapable of taking care of yourself. sure. according to him … thank you tyler for title inspo ⤷ m.list ˎˊ˗

your phone buzzes for what feels like the hundredth time that morning. you don’t even bother looking at it at first, too busy trying to convince yourself that maybe if you stayed perfectly still, the pounding behind your eyes would magically disappear. but, it doesn’t.

there’s another buzz and then another.

and you don’t open your eyes at first, only rolling farther beneath your blanket with a miserable groan. every inch of you aches, your throat burns, and breathing feels like too much work.

your phone buzzes once again somewhere beneath the comforter now from you adjusting where you were laying and you whine.

now truthfully, you’ve been ignoring your phone for almost three hours. between sleeping, coughing, and telling yourself you’d answer everyone later, you never noticed the string of missed calls piling up overtime, though. it got to the point where your phone had buzzed so much that with the world’s most dramatic groan, you blindly fish around until your fingers finally close around it, then shove it beneath your pillow just to make it stop. “shut up !”

after feeling one more vibration, you finally snatch it from underneath the pillow, cursing under your breath. you crack one eye open and the brightness of the screen makes you squint — it’s a string of messages and calls from katsuki and a couple of others.

katsuki: 10:32 am

you alive ?

despite feeling awful, a tiny smile tugs at your lips as your fingers move sluggishly across the screen, responding to at least one of his messages.

you: 10:34 am

unforch 🤕

the typing bubble appears the second you text back.

katsuki: 10:34 am

wyd

you go to type back, but you’re interrupted by knocking. the knock at your door actually startles you, so you decide to stare at the ceiling for a long second, debating on pretending you aren’t home.

after contemplating, you groan into your blanket, squeezing your eyes shut in the pathetic hope that whoever it was would simply … leave.

but, another knock follows, louder this time.

your brows slowly knit together, “…no way.” then your phone buzzes again.

katsuki: 10:35 am

open.

you let out the tiniest, most defeated sigh, letting your head fall back onto the pillow with a weak groan as you stare at your bedroom door and then back at your phone, another message popping up

katsuki: 10:35 am

open the damn door.

“…you’re kidding,” you say with a scoff. it takes entirely too much effort just to drag yourself out of bed. you shuffle down the hallway wrapped in the fluffiest blanket you could find, one hand braced against the wall for balance. “so annoying.” you then mumbled to nobody but yourself.

you’re basically dragging yourself across your home. it’s something like moving with all the enthusiasm of someone marching toward their own execution.

the knocking slowly turns into banging as you move toward the door. “…’m coming !” the words barely leave your throat before dissolving into another cough. as you finally get to the front door, unlocking it, you’re already breathing a little harder than you should be, sniffling as well.

the second the door cracks open, katsuki’s brows knit together. his crimson eyes sweep over you from head to toe, but he doesn’t say anything right away. he just stands there with a grocery bag hanging from one hand, his brows drawing together a little more the longer he looks at you. his gaze catches on your puffy cheeks and your sleepy eyes as he lets out a slow breath through his nose. “…damn,” he mutters, shaking his head once. “you look like shit.” the words left him under his breath. then his eyes travel from your face to your messy hair and to the blanket that’s practically swallowing you whole.

you blink up at him, frowning. you’re far too tired to even cuss him out properly. “…well. good morning to you too,”your voice embarrassingly raspy.

“yeah ?” one brow lifts as he nudges the door open the rest of the way with his shoulder. “and you don’t look happy. did you not wanna see me ?”

“wha?- i’m literally sick—“ before you can reply fully and step aside properly, katsuki’s already inside, grocery bag swinging lightly from one hand as he nudges the front door shut with his foot.

you blink after him, “did you just invite yourself in ?” you mumble, watching him head straight for your kitchen without so much as a second glance like he pays rent.

“mhm,” he only grunts in response, already slipping his jacket over the back of one of your chairs just like he’d done it a hundred times before.

“…well, i don’t remember saying you could.” you crossed your arms and raised an eyebrow, your foot tapping lightly.

“didn’t ask,” he mutters, scoffing. “you looked like hell.”

“rude,” you puffed your cheeks out, finally following after him with slow little shuffles, blanket still wrapped around your shoulders tightly.

he glanced over his shoulder just long enough for you to catch the corner of his mouth twitching. “you’re sick.”

“still rude,” you mutter, rolling your eyes.

he ignores you, already unpacking the grocery bag. out came: a carton of broth, chicken noodle soup, crackers, ginger ale, tea packets, a box of tissues, and one of your favorite snacks.

you raised an eyebrow, leaning slightly forward. “…when did you buy all that ?” your eyes widened at the sight of everything, and you shifted your weight from one foot to the other.

he didn’t look up, unable to for some reason. “on the way here.”

“wait, you stopped at the store ?” your eyes mirror the smile appearing on your face. the simple gesture filled you with gratitude, and you felt a soft flutter in your chest as you realize how much your bestfriend really cares for you — cares for you enough to take care of you.

“…did i ?” he said with a slow, deliberate drawl, each syllable dripping with sarcasm. his brows furrowing as he speaks. “obviously.”

“…for me ?” you coo, your voice lilting with playful curiosity and teasing sweetness.

his hands paused for the briefest moment before he went back to setting everything on the counter, far more interested in lining up soup cans than looking anywhere near your face. “…who else is gonna eat this bland-ass food ?”

your lips curled as you snort and wince after, “you could’ve just said yes.”

“nah,” he clicked his tongue, rolling his eyes. “don’t get cocky with me.” after glancing up and seeing you wince from laughing, his expression softened. it’s very brief, though. easy to miss if you didn’t know him.

you finally lean against the doorway, just watching him move around your kitchen with quiet confidence. he finishes putting everything away before glancing over his shoulder. “ …why’re you standing ?”

“i just wanted to see what you were doing ...”

“go sit down somewhere.”

“no,” you murmur before shuffling over to one of the kitchen chairs, dropping into it with another dramatic sigh. your blanket bunches around you as you rest your cheek against the table, watching him some more.

he sighs, a long, and dramatic one — not minding your longing gaze on him. he’s acting as if he doesn’t realize it while gathering the different tea packets he brought.

“…you know,” you mumble after a minute, your voice slightly muffled against your sleeve, “you didn’t have to come all the way over here.”

his hands pause only long enough to tear open a packet of tea. “oh, i know.”

“…then why did you ?”

he doesn’t answer, it doesn’t come out as fast as he wants it to. he just sets the kettle on the stove before leaning one hip against the counter, folding his arms across his chest. “well, err,” he clears his throat before continuing. “…i called.”

“i slept through it…,” you murmur ashamed. you never ignore your bestfriend’s call. it makes you feel so bad that you start to apologize. “i’m so—“

“noticed. so, i texted too.” he blurts out before you can apologize. “shut up.”

“well,” you sigh, rubbing your temple. “…i slept through those too until you spammed me.”

another nod, “yeah i know.” there’s a quiet pause before he looks at you again, his expression settling somewhere between annoyed and concerned, but then a little softened. “…figured if i left you alone, you’d probably convince yourself crackers count as a full meal.” he finally finishes his thought, watching for your reaction in the hopes of making you laugh.

your lips twitch as you sniffle once more, “they do.”

“they don’t.” he snickers, flashing a small dimple at your grin.

“agree to disagree !” you say with your voice light but firm, sealing the end of this stupid debate with a playful pout.

he lets out another one of those little scoffs that almost sounds like a laugh before turning back toward the stove. “…you’re— whatever.”

you can’t help the tiny, raspy giggles that finally slips through. “and you’re annoying.”

“and you’re still sick.” he says it so matter-of-factly that you just roll your eyes at him, you know he’s not wrong.

“…but you’re still here.” you say after hesitating for a moment.

for just a second, the kitchen goes quiet. the only sound comes from the kettle beginning to warm up. katsuki reaches up to rub the back of his neck before clicking his tongue under his breath. “…yeah,” it’s barely louder than the kettle. “…guess i am.”

suddenly, you grow curious as you watch him function in a kitchen that’s not his own. “how do you even know how to work everything ?”

that earns you a glance and he raises one eyebrow, shrugging. “i’ve been here before.”

“so?-” you start before getting cut off by him. “you also invited me over to build that bookshelf.” he points his finger into the direction of your living room, gesturing at your manga filled and other miscellaneous filled bookshelf.

“…oh.”

“then you couldn’t figure out your tv and then your smoke detector.” he continues to ramble about the amount times you’ve needed him to come over.

“…okay.” you can’t even argue with that, he’s lowkey right, once again.

“…then your faucet,” he went on, shoulders slumping as he leaned against the counter. his brows arched in amusement and lips curling into a faint smirk. he gestured, counting on his fingers as if the motion alone could convey how many times he’d come to your rescue. “also, your stupid console—“

“enough,” you glare at him, cutting him off, realizing how dependent you are when it comes to him. “…i’m noticing a pattern.”

a quiet snort escapes him before he manages to stifle it, a hint of smugness in his voice as he replies, “yeah, me too.” there it is. that tiny almost-smile he tries so hard to hide. you’ve always liked seeing that one.

while the tea simmers on the stove, you find yourself moving off your chair and drifting closer. first you’re leaning against the counter next to him, then your shoulder brushes his arm. a sleepy yawn leaves you while your forehead bumps lightly against his side. “you’re just really good at everything you do. no glaze.” you quickly add the last part with a scoff.

as you speak, you don’t even realize how vulnerable you’re acting, but katsuki definitely does and he tries to come off as unaffected by it while his hand pauses where it’s stirring the tea for you. “uh huh, sure… comfortable ?”

a soft sigh escaping your lips as you mumble, “…mhm.”

“you usin’ me as furniture now ?” he asked with a lopsided grin as he glances down at you, mocking your sigh.

“yeah, man,” you murmur with an eyeroll, glancing up at him, “you’re warm.”

he huffs a laugh through his nose. “you’re gonna get me sick.”still… he didn’t push you off, shifting just enough that you’re leaning against him more comfortably as he finishes up your tea almost.

it’s such a small adjustment, but it means a lot. “…thanks,” you mumble quietly, words muffled against his sleeve.

he pretends not to hear you, but grunts anyway. “…don’t thank me yet. it’s not done.” he randomly reaches up with his free hand, the back of his knuckles brush carefully across your forehead. his brows knit together as he glances down at you. “still burnin’ up.”

you pout, glancing up at him. “i took medicine already.”

“…when ?” you fall silent, curling your lips before he asks again. “i said when ?”

“like … early, early this morning. maybe at three in the morning.”

he slowly closes his eyes, sighing. “…why were you up at?!— it’s almost the afternoon.”

“…oh.”

“‘oh,’” he repeats flatly, flashing a deadpan expression at you and pointing toward the couch with the spoon. “go sit down before you fall over.”

“no,” you playfully whine, shaking your head.

“you’re gonna pass out.”

“i won’t !” even as you say that, your knees wobble. you grab onto him so quickly, pretending it didn’t happen.

“…idiot,” he muttered under his breath.

you don’t move, sighing and batting your lashes up at him. “…will you come sit too ?”

he looks at you and looks at the pot, then back at you again. “you’re really milkin’ this whole sick thing.”

“maybe… but, it’d make me feel better,” you murmured, your voice soft and certain.

his expression softens slightly. “…yeah,” his voice then comes out quieter this time. “i know.”

he finishes up the tea finally, turning to you as one hand settling against your side before you can protest. “…c’mon.”

“hey !— i can walk !” you exclaim, your hand coming up to meet his.

“sure you can.” his tone says he believes the exact opposite. still, he walks you to your couch and doesn’t make a big deal out of it. he just stays close enough that if you stumble again, he’ll be able to catch you before you hit the floor. it’s… strangely comforting. the feeling of being babied by him.

by the time you’re on the couch, a warm mug is being pressed carefully into your hands. “drink.”

you hum, glancing down at the cup before drinking some. “it’s bitter.” you wrinkle your nose after one sip.

“…it’s tea.” he scoffs, pinching the bridge of his nose in disbelief.

“it tastes like leaves !” you blurt, grimacing at him, eyes narrowing in genuine disgust.

“because it basically is leaves … it has herbs n whatnot—” he said, pouting and shrugging loosely. “c’mon just drink it. stop being so difficult.”

“i don’t like healthy things,” you flick your hand in the air with a dramatic sigh, as if the very idea of ‘herb tea’ was beneath you.

the pout quickly comes to and end as the corner of his mouth twitches again, barely. “shocking. very shocking.”

“wow,” you gasp dramatically, coughing as you do so. “…that was mean.”

“you’ll live.” he rolls his eyes yet again, so hard you’re surprised they don’t get stuck. “keep drinkin’.”

you obey, mostly because every time you stop, he gives you that look. the one that convinces you arguing isn’t worth the effort. it’s intimidating, really. your bestfriend is scary.

a calm silence settles between you after that other than your slow sips. the tv is now plays something, it’s one of your comfort shows he turned on for you.

every now and then, katsuki glances away from his phone just long enough to make sure you’ve taken another sip. but, this is nice. it’s nice and comfortable, comfortable enough that your eyes begin drifting shut. “…oi.”

“hm ?” you hum sleepily.

“don’t fall asleep sittin’ up.”

“…m’not.” your head tips sideways despite yourself and you feel the couch dip beside you before a hand reaches over, carefully adjusting the blanket higher around your shoulders as he takes the mug from out of your hands. “liar.”

you don’t argue, you’re already halfway asleep.

there’s a long pause before you feel warm fingers brush a few stray hairs away from your forehead to feel your fever once more. the touch disappears almost as quickly as it came. “always gotta worry me,” he mutters quietly, mostly to himself.

your sleepy brain catches just enough of it to smile. “…you sure do care a lot for someone who keeps callin’ me mean names.”

he freezes, glaring at you before gritting out, “go to sleep.”

“that’s not a no …”

his ears tint the faintest shade of pink. “you’re fuckin’ delirious.”

“mhm …” you hum in response, yawning softly. “thanks for comin’ over, kats.” you then murmur to him peaking at him for the last time.

“…yeah,” his voice comes out softer than before. “somebody’s gotta keep you alive.” your smile lingers long after your eyes flutter shut and you’ve fallen asleep at last.

[miiroki]

Bakugo Katsuki has a secret girlfriend! ★﹙𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭﹚

The common room of the Heights Alliance dorms was usually a sanctuary of peaceful noise—Kaminari playing video games, Mina complaining about her skincare routine, and Sero attempting to balance a water bottle on his foot.

Today, however, the atmosphere was thick with paranoia.

Kaminari leaned over the back of the used sofa, his eyes narrowed as he stared across the room. Bakugo was sitting at the kitchen island, quietly eating a bowl of spicy curry. He didn’t even blow up the microwave.

It was weird.

"Okay, nobody move," Kaminari whispered, clutching a bag of chips like it was a shield. "Look at him. He’s been eating like that for three days straight. Do you think a villain put a quirk on him? Is he a clone? He’s gotta be a clone."

"He’s not a clone dude," Kirishima muttered, crossing his arms with a deeply furrowed brow. "A clone would still have some fighting spirit. Yesterday, I asked him to spot me in the gym, and you know what he said?"

"What?" Mina breathed, leaning in closer.

"'Take your time, Kirishima, safety first.'"

A collective, horrified gasp echoed through the group.

"He called you by your name, and gave you safety advice?" Sero whispered, looking pale. "He’s been replaced by an alien pod like those movies. We gotta do something. But who’s the one person who always knows what’s going on with Bakugo, no matter how much they try to avoid each other?"

Four pairs of eyes snapped simultaneously toward the common room door, where a green-haired boy was quietly trying to sneak toward the elevators clutching a notebook.

"Midoriya!" Mina sang out, materializing in front of him with a bright smile.

Midoriya jumped three feet into the air. "Mina! Hi! I was just—homework! Dorm room!"

"Midoriya, my dude," Kirishima said, stepping in from the other side with a hand heavy on the green-haired boy's shoulder. "We need to talk about Kacchan."

Izuku immediately started sweating profusely, his hands fluttering nervously. "K-Kacchan? Oh, Kacchan’s fine! Totally fine! Haha! Why wouldn't he be fine?"

"He’s acting super weird man," Sero said, his voice deadly serious. "He didn't yell at me when I tripped and spilled iced tea on his shoes this morning. He just sighed, sighed, Midoriya, and gave me a napkin."

Izuku let out a high-pitched sound and looked away, his eyes darting frantically toward the exit. "Well, you know! People change! Personal growth! High school is a journey of self-reflection! And after what what happened last year—"

"You're lying," Kaminari pointed out, jabbing a finger at him. "Your face is doing that twitchy thing it does when All Might says something cool. Spill it, bro. What does he know? Is he dying? Does he have a secret terminal illness?"

"No! He’s not dying!" Izuku blurted out, waving his hands wildly. "He’s just... you know... occupied! With things! Personal, totally normal human things that do not involve me leaking his personal business because he threatened to blast me into the stratosphere if I said a single word to anyone!"

Mina gasped, her eyes turning into literal sparkling stars. "He’s hiding something! There’s a girl, isn't there?"

Izuku clamped both hands over his mouth, his eyes wide as saucers. The silence that followed was confirmation enough.

"Oh my god," Sero whispered. “The impossible has come.”

—

"Alright, listen up team," Mina whispered fiercely, crouching behind a potted plant in the second-floor hallway. "We track him. We find out who he’s meeting up with, and we force it out of him."

"Is this really necessary?" Kirishima hissed back, though he was currently wearing a ridiculously oversized trench coat and fake Groucho Marx glasses that kept sliding down his nose. "It feels like a major invasion of privacy."

"Kiri, he smiled at a text message yesterday," Kaminari whispered from beneath a cardboard box labeled Totally Normal Furniture. "A smiling Bakugo is a threat to national security. We are doing this for world peace. Maybe he’s under some kinda quirk."

Kirishima grumbled back and was suddenly pushed when Kaminari hid back into his box.

Down the hall, Bakugo’s door clicked open. He stepped out dressed in a surprisingly neat black button-down and dark jeans, checking his phone with a look of mild, sickening fondness before walking down the stairs toward the main entrance.

"He’s moving!" Sero hissed. "Move, move, move!"

The clumsy procession of heroes-in-training crept down the stairs, ducking behind couches, pillars, and in Sero’s case, an unfortunate attempt to blend in with a vending machine.

They followed him all the way off campus, trailing him through the shopping district until he finally stopped outside a quiet, café near the train station. The squad crammed themselves into a narrow alleyway across the street, peering through a gap between a dumpster and a lamppost.

"Okay, who’s he meeting? An old middle school friend? A villain informant?" Kaminari squinted. "Wait. Is that..."

Through the café window, Bakugo walked up to a corner booth. Standing up to greet him was a girl with an easygoing grin, wearing the distinct dark uniform jacket of Shiketsu High School.

"Shiketsu?" Sero whispered, his jaw dropping. "He’s dating a Shiketsu student? Shit that’s like... Romeo and Juliet? The UA-Shiketsu rivalry is legendary!"

Inside the café, Bakugo didn't yell at her. In fact, to the absolute shock of the hidden UA students, he pulled out the chair for her, sat down, and actually—actually—rolled his eyes with a fond little smirk before leaning across the table to say something.

"Look at him," Mina whispered, clutching her chest with dramatic emotion. "He’s acting so normal, like a soft little marshmallow."

"Don't let him hear you say that or he’ll murder us all," Kirishima muttered, still adjusting his ridiculous disguise.

Suddenly, a loud clatter echoed through the alley. Kaminari, trying to get a better angle on the window, had tripped over an empty soda can.

The can bounced noisily across the pavement, right out of the alley and into the open street.

Inside the café, Bakugo’s head snapped toward the window with. His eyes locked instantly onto the gap between the dumpster and the lamppost, where four very guilty, poorly disguised UA students were standing like deer in headlights.

Bakugo’s eye twitched. A tiny spark of orange flame popped against his palm.

"He saw us! Abort mission!" Sero yelled.

"Fuck! Run for your lives!" Kaminari shrieked.

As the Bakusquad scrambled backward down the street in a cloud of panic, Bakugo slammed his hands down on the café table, completely terrifying his girlfriend, and shouted out the window at the top of his lungs:

"I SWEAR TO GOD, IF YOU IDIOTS DON'T GET OUT OF MY SIGHT, I'LL BLAST YOU ALL TO THE MOON!"

"Well," Mina panted as they sprinted around the corner, laughing uncontrollably. "At least he’s totally back to normal."

—

"What was that about" You asked, sipping on a smoothie.

"It’s nothing. Thought I saw some idiots."

[mattsundaes]

brother’s best friend!bakugou who begrudgingly gives you a ride home from work one afternoon (but he really doesn’t mind, even if he’ll never admit it).

who makes a show of groaning and rolling his eyes when he sees the way you perk up at the sight of the sprawling sunflower farm that he’s about to pass.

who acts put out when you look over at him with eyes that are clearly asking him to pull over.

who does a horrible job at acting like he’s just checking his phone while he snaps a shot of you standing before a sunny sea of golden yellow, turning back to look at him, caught mid-laugh. it makes his stupid heart fumble.

(“they remind me of you”)

he wants to argue that there’s nothing about him that resembles a goddamn flower. he shoves a wad of bills in the hand of the kid who’s selling bouquets out of a bucket near the entrance instead, grumbling when you light up as he unceremoniously waves it at you.

(he spends the drive home pretending he’s not watching your soft smile out of the corner of his eye.)

(pretending he didn’t take the long way home just to pass that stupid farm in the first place.)

[mumuming]

lowkey nawalan ako ng respeto sayo legit

[goodieprocter]

I spent almost an entire work shift drawing this tooth-rotting fluff

featuring the Eridian Welcoming Committee courtesy of @justcakethanks

[justcakethanks]

Okay this is just on another level. I'm not crying IT'S JUST RAINING. ON MY FACE.

[disgustinggf]

[mousegirlheart]

If Funko Pops weren't evil enough they once shut down itch.io for a little bit

[puncertainty]

a leap of faith !

[uninterestedemby]

They make me physically ill

[sabertoothwalrus]

guy who definitely doesn't blame himself for anything or has self-destructive tendencies

[gamblersdoll]

“sh—shit!” you squeal, holding your legs to your chest as you pant and moan, eyes rolling in your head and the wind knocked out of you. “oh god—“

“shh,” katsuki shushes, lips brushing against yours. “just me and you, birthday girl,” he groans, fingering your clit and thrusting in and out in a slow motion of your cunt. “my pretty baby.” he cooed, licking the saliva dribbling from your mouth. “my beautiful birthday girl, just take it.”

“katsukiii,” you mewl, gasping at the force of his cock into your cervix.

“mhm, there ya’ go..” he muses, staring in awe as your pussy gushes around his shaft, lips wet and eyes filled with hunger. “see, you got to come so good,” he praises, pawing your tits.

because katsuki always took your birthday seriously, making sure that at midnight, you had an amazing start to your birthday.

[headrestz]

it's my birthday and if abby anderson OR sevika don't slam thru my mf door..

[clacy2812]

Happy wife, life good

Other ending below (thank you ska LMAO)

He knows what shes doing by the way

[tteokdoroki]

streamer bakugo stay with me

yes yes i think bakugou is an indie twitch streamer … who goes by dynamight… and plays a lot of horror or story-based games. poppy playtime, the last of us, the walking dead games, life is strange. yess yess, he gets rage baited so easily there are so many clips of him making the wrong decision and when a character dies he just gets up from his setup n takes a lap round the room cursing lmaooo

he’s very interactive w chat but not in the parasocial way he’ll chat with them and tell them not to ask him dumb shit, easily rage baited by them too it’s so funny. “fuck off. i’m not fuckin’ 52 i’m 25.” or “stop callin’ me unc i’ll fuck your shit up so bad.” and also “okay, so. now you’re banned. how’s that.” he’s sooo funny. bakugou bans people soooo easily you’ll see them begging him on twt to be unbanned. thirty min complications of him on YouTube getting baited by his viewers.

collabs with his friends only and he’s super cute and giggly in them i think he has a really sweet giggle that his viewers loveeee so much and he shyly tells them to shut up. mario kart tournaments with kirishima and kaminari and sero which he always loses LOL

he’s always streaming in cosy clothes and hoodies so i think his community doesn’t believe he’s jacked and they make fun of him for it. bakugou one day starts streaming in his tight black tees and someone comments “holy sleeper build.” and he gets sooooo cocky about it — flexes and stuff, puffs his chest over the screen.

“didn’t wanna show off ‘cause i knew you’d all be fuckin’ thirstin’ over everything.” he’s kinda bashful and smirks slow and sexy red eyes sweeping over his twitch chat. someone donates and sends one of those vocal messages ‘show us them tiddies bitch.’ And it actually makes him laugh, like proper laugh. one of his most viral clips from his streams. handcam streams often after that lmaoo

also he hates when people backseat him during games, i think katsuki really likes decision based gaming to liked to analyse the options, big fan of immersive game play and world building/character relationships. so when people skip ahead during times when he’s trying to figure out a puzzle or something he’ll genuinely pause the game to tell people off. “shits fuckin annoying. tuned in to watch me play the game now you’re playin it for me. okay.”

the onlyyyyy time he’s ever allowed back seating is when you, a smaller streamer, join his chat and he’s playing through something — looking for a code to figure out a puzzle and you sweetly comment: “it’s in the top left!!!”

katsuki only notices because he once did a raid on your stream ages ago and thought you were adorable, playing your cosy games and showing off your tomodachi life island and ever since he’s been watching you in secret on his alt account. recognises your twitch handle by heart now.

“thanks, gorgeous.” he grins after reading your comment or listening to it if you’ve donated for him to see it. then he moves on and his chat goes CRAZY cause usually he’s strict as FUCK. people clip it sooo fast, ‘dynamight flirting with smaller streamer????’ it goes viral instantly and you get sooo much attention to your streams it makes you anxious.

you get a dm on twt from dynamight’s streamer account a few days later. “down to collab some time?” and nearly lose your mind <3

[mamashima]

COGNITIVE DISSONANCE.

❤︎ SYNOPSIS: your boyfriend katsuki gets hit by a quirk, and splits into two versions of himself. this bodes both beautifully and horribly for you.

❤︎ CONTENT: boyfriend!katsuki, pro hero!katsuki, kat is actually lowk an asshole, light choking, making out, lots of petnames (sweetheart, princess, baby), cunnilingus (ew—that word), fingering, technical threesome, squirting … 18+, minors and ageless blogs DNI.

❤︎ XOXO, PUMA: alternatively, y/n vs both of katsuki’s brain cells. also ty sm to @kamislop for beta reading !

♫ NOW PLAYING: what you want, angéle ft justice

read on ao3 | 3.9k words | masterlist.

“BABY, ‘M HOME!”

“Shut the fuck up—loud as shit, my God.”

“…We have explosions for hands.”

“And I said what I fuckin’ said!”

You hear the familiar jingle of Katsuki’s boots at the front door. Except, there’s double the sound there should be—louder belt clanking, extra foot stomping—and, at first, you think he’s brought back a friend. Probably Eijirō, maybe Izuku. But, as you leave the shared bedroom to the sound of the front door slamming shut, you remember the call you received from his redheaded bestie about an hour ago.

“Okay, I’d like to preface this with everything is fine, Kat is safe and unharmed—well. As unharmed as he can be, but, like—”

“Eijirō, you’re stressing me out.”

“Sorry—sorry! I, uh, just wanted to give you a heads up that he’s coming home early. He got hit with a quirk, and like—again, he’s fine, and Recovery Girl said he’d just have to wait it out, but. Just a heads up.”

Yeah. Vague as hell, and now, you understand why.

Either you’re going insane, or your eye sight is deteriorating with a quickness, or both—because once you reach the entrance to welcome your boyfriend home, you’re seeing double.

What. The fuck.

“Oh thank fuck—c’mere, Baby.”

Katsuki—a Katsuki, you suppose—starts moving independent of the other. He all but collapses into very confused arms, dropping his chin on your head and squeezing you tight. The other one glowers, messily shoving two pairs of boots under the bench with complete disregard for his strict organizational pattern.

“Um…”

You blink at the Katsuki that cradles you. He gives a soft smile in return, one that usually requires blood, sweat, and tears to crack (even if it takes you a significant less amount of blood, sweat, and tears than the average human—they’re blood, sweat, and tears nonetheless) and you don’t know what to do with it. Where to put it.

“Got hit with a fucker’s quirk,” the other Katsuki explains after giving up on making the boots fit. Typically, there aren’t two pairs, but one—and the shoe rack is feeling the added pressure.

“So…it’s the quirk that split you in two,” you ask, even though you know. The answer is staring you right in the face, but, like. Just in case.

The Katsuki still holding onto you grunts in agreement, and you finally manage to peel away. He steps back as the other Katsuki steps forward, and you finally get a good look at how identical they are. Which, obviously, but it’s still slightly alarming, nonetheless. Like…the shining twins, if they were blond and angry. And covered in grime.

“Holy shit…” your eyes dart between the two of them, trying to find discrepancies in anything other than mismatched dirt. You find none, save for the way they hold themselves. You need better names—you can’t keep calling them Katsuki and other Katsuki.

“Do…you know when it’s going to wear off?”

A self-indulgent question. Perhaps.

“Fuckin’—no.” Angry Katsuki digs a knuckle into his ear, and the other one yawns. “They gotta track the fucker down, first. Apparently, I can’t do my goddamn job like this.”

He gestures between the two of them, and you teeter your head in semi-agreement. The other Katsuki pipes up, and god, you need better names.

“’M not pissed about it, though,” He steps out of line to grab the hand limp by your side, kissing your knuckles with the lightest touch you’ve ever felt. “Means I get to see you.”

Oh?

“I am,” angry Katsuki growls, slapping his counterpart’s hand away from yours. “I should be out there, hunting that mitosis motherfucker.”

“If you go out there, you’re killing him,” other Katsuki defends. Angry Katsuki rolls his eyes.

“Fuckin’ exactly.”

Other Katsuki just sighs, turning back to you. Immediately his features soften along with his voice. “How’ve you been today, Baby? I left early.”

“Um…good? This is just…” you peer around Katsuki’s body to view the other one, who rolls his eyes again, almost completely ignoring your presence. That is, until:

“Ima fuckin’ shower,” he grumbles, and walks down the hall.

“A lot?” Other Katsuki finishes for you, watching his parallel until he disappears into the bedroom, and you nod.

Something like that.

“Okay. Kat.” You point to Angry Katsuki, who’s now glowering on the couch, much like he did at the front door, and much cleaner than before. Your finger shifts to Other Katsuki, until his head becomes a small point at the top of your fingernail. “Suki. That way, if I call, you both don’t come running. Cool?”

While Suki nods his head with diligence, Kat finally smiles. Not the soft smile that’s reserved for you, but the self-satisfied smile reserved for villains, the one that barely hides his hunger for blood.

“Hear that, Nerd? I’m Kat, not your bitch-ass.”

Suki blinks, relatively confused, and tips his head to the side. “Why the fuck does that matter?”

“’Cuz I’m the original!” Kat says loud and proud, digging a thumb into his chest. “Not you.”

“…Again, why the fuck does that matter,” Suki grumbles, less a question and more an observation. A statement. “We got split in two. We’re two halves of the same person, not a copy-paste.”

“I fuckin’ know that, shit stick.” Kat’s hands crackle at the prospect of being challenged, and while Suki tries to hide the way he shrinks in on himself, you throw a spare pillow at Kat’s head.

“Ow, what the fuck!”

“No explosions in the house!”

Kat grumbles, but his hands fizzle out. He shakes them out at his sides. “’M not doin’ this shit—’m goin’ to bed.”

“Ah-Ah! No,” you say, and Kat freezes like you grabbed him physically, like there’s an invisible wall that separates the living room from the rest of the house. “You said we’d watch that move tonight, remember?”

“We said,” he amends, looking unimpressed before jerking his head to Suki. “Make him watch it.”

“No! It’s exactly like you said—you both promised. Technically,” you smile and look at Suki, who, honestly, looks like there’s no other place he’d rather be—he just watches you talk with his chin propped on a hand and love in his eyes. “So. We’re both watching it.”

“Fuckin’—fine,” Kat groans, loud and obnoxious, and to the ceiling. He sits back down with a huff. “But I swear to God, if it’s some fuckin’ Twilight shit again—”

“It’s not.” You get up only to shove Kat over with a hip, quitting his manspreading, and make yourself enough room between them. He lets you. Suki wraps both arms around your middle, and cuddles you close and tight, like you might up and disappear tomorrow. “That was one time—”

“One horrible time, when I was forced to watch five fuckin’ movies of absolute bullshit—”

“It wasn’t that fuckin’ bad,” Suki defends with a quiet grumble, and you want to scoop him up and run away with him. “’S…campy.”

“Thank you,” you nod, before redirecting your attention to Kat, patting him on the leg. “See? Suki understands quality content when he sees it.”

“Get the fuck out my face.”

You don’t put on Twilight—but you do put on Argylle, and that’s not much better.

“So, you’re tellin’ me,” Kat trails off, and you watch the movie flicker in carmine eyes. “That the whole damn time, this chick was writing a book that predicts the future—”

“Specifically a spy-future, yes—”

“And, that’s why…y’know what? Fuck this shit, my head hurts.”

“You have no sense of whimsy,” you sigh, unimpressed. Kat rolls his eyes.

“Listen, Sweetheart,” He fills his voice with faux saccharine, artificial flavoring, and you scowl at the mockery. “I got a job—a real serious job. Don’t got fuckin’ time for ‘whimsy.’”

Kat hangs air quotes with a hand, and that just pushes your frown deeper.

“Oh, and I don’t?” you smile, but it’s just as artificial as his words. Kat glowers, and behind you, Suki goes:

“Uh oh…”

“Somethin’ like that.”

With a huff, you snatch him by blond spikes—and, if Kat is even a little tenderheaded as Katsuki is…

You yank and pull upward, and Kat rises with your grip. Yep. “Ow, what the fuck?! Ah—okay, fuck, I’m sorry—”

He hisses, face twisting in agony—and finally, you relent the torture. You let him go with a satisfied smile, and Kat snarls at you, rubbing the soft points of his head.

“What did we learn?”

Suki snickers under his breath. “Fuckin’ nothing.”

Kat scrambles at that, getting to his feet in preparation to attack. Fear flashes across Suki’s face, making you wonder if his statement was supposed to come out quieter, perhaps unheard. He scrambles over the arm of the couch, and you get thrown around in his rush.

“You’re fuckin’ dead meat!” Kat hollers. Suki takes off in a mad dash.

It isn’t before long that they’re chasing each other in circles around the couch, like a pack of wild dogs, snarling and huffing and puffing. (With the occasional spark—which you’re quick to put out.) You watch your movie, and occasionally, them, and eat the majority of the popcorn in the process.

Eventually, they collapse back onto the couch and into their respective sides, twin chests heaving and glistening in sweat until their breath makes the mile long trek to catch up.

“You two done?” You ask, but never take your eyes off the screen. It’s getting to the good part.

Suki nods. “Yeah, sorry.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Kat snaps, and you double check to make sure he isn’t talking to you (because, if he is—you’re locking him in the basement), but he’s still glaring at Suki like he murdered his family. “You piss me the fuck off.”

“Clearly,” Suki snorts, this time quiet enough for Kat to not hear. Still vaguely out of breath, he squeezes your thigh to get attention, and slings his other arm behind you. “I wan’a kiss. Can I get a kiss, Baby?”

You giggle, because as stated, soft Katsuki is a Katsuki you’re used to having to work for, and then some. His hand lifts to your chin as you say, “Sure, Suki.”

And then, you’re getting snatched back by your pajama shirt, nearly choking in the process with an embarrassing and garbled noise.

“Abso-fuckin-lutely not,” Kat grunts, and you nearly fall backwards into his lap. “My girlfriend.”

“Your—” Suki cuts himself off with a scoff, grabbing your hand and pulling you up again—up and away. “One, we’re the same damn person, she’s both our girlfriend. And two, I want my fuckin’ kiss.”

Back.

“Well, that’s too damn bad,” Kat huffs, and you’re yanked again. This is starting to get dizzying. “I don’ want your bitch lips all over her.”

Forth.

“Okay,” Suki chuckles, and you’re tipped forward. Seriously? “And, I don’t want your ugly ass mug anywhere near my girl, so—”

Back.

“Oh, now it’s ‘your girl’—I thought we—”

Forth.

“Yeah. My girl, ‘cuz you don’ even know how to treat her.”

Back—Forth.

“You’re loud, and rude, and angry—”

Back and Forth and Back and Forth.

“Y’don’t appreciate shit that she does for us, and it fuckin’ shows—”

Back and Forth and Back and Forth. Back and Forth and Back.

“Yeah, and she loves me for it anyway, Dipshit—”

Back and Forth and Back and Forth an—

“Can you two quit it!”

When they still, you go tumbling forward and into Suki’s lap—which, Kat doesn’t like very much, and grumbles under his breath about it.

“Sorry, Baby.”

“Fuckin’ what.”

“You guys realize I can kiss both of you, right?” Your words border on exasperated. Kat rolls his eyes.

“Fine—I get first.”

“No, I do!”

“I will blast you to goddamn smithereens.”

“Fine! At least I get my fuckin’ kiss—”

“Oh my god,” you groan aloud, running hands over your face and sinking deeper into the couch. It’s endless. “Y’know what? No. Stand up.”

You pat both of their backs to urge them upwards, and they follow. Standing side by side and watching you—and if you thought that one set of Katsuki’s eyes were intimidating enough, try two.

“Okay, Suki—you asked first, so you go first.”

Kat grumbles under his breath, something about ‘well if I fuckin’ knew that, woulda asked ages ago,’ but relents relatively quiet. Suki bends over with a smile, cradling the side of your face to lift it higher.

“Thank you, Baby.”

Katsuki’s lips always feel warm, and Suki’s are no different—they move slow and soft and patient, like he knows what’s coming, when it’s coming, so might as well take his time until he can see the finish line. He inhales like he could breathe you in, and the hand cupping your face tightens with want and satisfaction.

When Suki pulls away, you’re both breathless, and he rests his forehead against yours. “Missed you.”

But, before you can respond—

Suki is shoved out of the way, out of frame, and in comes Kat, who would be on fire if he could. “Y’call that a fuckin’ kiss? Watch and learn, Loser.”

Kat grabs you by the chin and kisses you with weight. He presses into you with his upper body, using a free hand to rest on the back of the couch, and placing a knee between your legs. Kat kisses you into the cushions and out of any breath you have left, leaving you scrambling for air.

“How was that,” Kat asks once pulling away, dragging his thumb across your kiss-swollen lips. You swoon, before remembering that this Katsuki is downright evil.

“It was…um…” you try to say fine, try to say okay, I’ve had better, but the weight of two intense stares fill your veins and cloud your judgement. And, just overall ability to speak as a whole.

“See Dumbass, what’d I say?” Kat hollers over his shoulder, standing up to glare at his doppelgänger. “Kiss her right and she fuckin’ melts.”

Suki bristles at that, but doesn’t bite back with words. Instead, he quietly assumes Kat’s place with a hum, thumbing the highest point of your cheek as he looks down. He studies you.

“Mmm…looks pretty solid to me,” Suki mutters, tilting your head every which way, like he’s trying to find something that’s not there. Kat yells from the back, ‘shitty ass joke!’ “Wha’d’ya think, Baby? Who’s better?”

“Um,” you swallow, and try to stifle your inner goblin. “I don’t…I think I’ll need more than that to…y’know…know?”

And, yet. The goblin comes out, anyway. (At least she’s respectful, this time.)

Suki teeters his head in consideration, and Kat snorts from behind him. “Fuckin’ pervert.”

You gawk. Because, like, yes, but also, “how am I supposed to know based off a three second kiss?”

“Valid question.”

“Listen—I don’t know about Mr. Chastity over here, but mine was definitely longer than three seconds.”

Suki gives him a look over his shoulder, and though you can’t see it, you can guess based off the way he goes, “Seriously?”

“I said what I said.”

You see the tail end of Suki rolling his eyes as he turns back to you, and the look of pure annoyance on his face shifts to one of affection. His thumb brushes your cheek again, as he leans forward, close enough for you to feel his breath across your lips.

“Well, Baby? Should we prove that fucker wrong?”

But, you’re not paying attention to much else other than the way Suki’s lips round and soften to form words that you barely hear. So, you just nod, let out a quiet ‘uh huh,’ and let him close the distance.

Suki kisses you with more passion this time around, but less vigor and aggression than Kat. You feel comfortable and grounded, and gasp, hands finding the middle of his shirt as he tilts his head to the side. You don’t get kissed stupid like you do with Kat—like the earth got flipped upside down and you just have to deal with it—but held and loved, and that’s stupefying enough.

Suki moans into your mouth, making your body run both hot and cold. It takes ages and alcohol to convince Katsuki to make a sound, to stop holding himself back, but this one might not. This one might not, and God, if that doesn’t make your head spin.

A tongue licks the seam of your lips but never pushes further than that, just enough for you to be aware of the threat and the want, but never enough to give. You whine, pushing deeper—and Suki smiles against your lips like that was exactly what he wanted, before his hand encompasses the front of your neck to squeeze, restricting your airflow just enough.

When he pulls away, the hand around your neck slides to your collarbones, and your eyes flutter shut. It continues to snake lower, past the waistband of your sweats and even lower than that, until two fingers run along your folds. They’re gone as quick as they came, and Suki pulls them out to reveal—

“See? She’s soaked.”

Kat growls, but before he can say anything, Suki tucks both fingers into his mouth and sucks. It’s obscene, and you think you see his tongue poke through at some point.

But then, he’s getting shoved in the shoulder, falling into the couch and more importantly, away from you, as Kat takes his place between your legs. Before you have time to protest (which—you won’t, but you might’ve for a second, for like, posterity) Kat is shoving your sweats down to your ankles, clearly tired of playing fair.

“I’m sick of his shit,” he grumbles, shifting your hips forward until you’re nearly laying flat. “Aren’t you sick of his shit, Princess?”

You don’t really know what to say to that. Luckily, you’re not given much time to—Kat sticks his tongue out and licks a fat stripe up your pussy, swirling his tongue around your clit, and dragging it back down.

“Fuckin’—take your goddamn time,” Suki growls, and Kat just rolls his eyes and continues his ministrations. “I worked hard to get her that fuckin’ wet, y’know—”

Kat only pulls his mouth away to give his double an incredulous look, pointing at your pussy like you’re not even there. “Oh, you think you did this.”

“I know I did,” Suki snarls at the slight, and when Kat chuckles around your clit, it makes your thigh seize. “But, fine—fuck her dry like an animal. See if I care when she comes runnin’ to me ‘cuz y’don’t know what the fuck you’re doin’.”

Kat doesn’t grace his words with more words, just flips a middle finger in his direction before that hand finds your thigh. Only to spread your legs wider, broaden his plate, and you nearly keel over when he sucks too hard.

“He bein’ too rough?” Suki coos, grabbing you by the jaw and running a thumb along it’s sharpest point. “’S okay if you can’t cum, Baby—he has absolutely no finesse.”

Suki rips Kat away from you by the hair, his lips flushed and glossed from you, and yanks him out of the way. Kat snarls and lets his palms pop, but one halfhearted glare from you, and they fizzle right out.

“He’s being a dick!” Kat defends, gesturing at the perpetrator with open hands—said perpetrator simply settles between your legs, licking his lips. Kat is ignored.

Suki moves a lot slower than Kat does—still hot and heavy, but languid, like he knows you’re not going anywhere any time soon. He licks you up and down, avoiding places that would do anything more than simmer. But, even low heat will eventually come to a boil, and your breath hitches when a finger brushes your entrance.

Kat yawns. “I’m fuckin’ bored.”

Suki rolls his eyes and can’t help but pull away, get another word in—but his finger finally quits (some of) the teasing and plunges right in. You shiver, then melt. “Well, that’s too damn bad.”

“Yeah, it is—make her scream or somethin’ before I fuckin’ fall asleep.”

“Oh, please fall asleep,” Suki insists, but never takes his eyes away from you—your pussy—as he berates his double, too fascinated by the way you squeeze and relax around him. “I’d love if you fell asleep—I could be both of us, and she wouldn’t even notice.”

Kat barks out a laugh, loud and sarcastic. “You get mad at me for bein’ rude, then you call her stupid? Some white knight.”

“No,” Suki says, and adds another finger and curls them upward—it makes your leg kick involuntarily, and it probably would’ve done some damage if he didn’t catch it in time. “I’m callin’ you basic. Bitch.”

“Oh, you fuckin—”

“Guys! Please!” You scream at the ceiling. You’re exhausted and annoyed, semi-horny and so far away from the finish line. “Stop arguing—do you want me to cum or not?” 

And, well. That shuts them up quicker than you expected.

“Absolutely, Baby.”

“Ugh—fuckin’ whatever.”

Suki focuses on you, after that. Kat tries to distract him with playground insults, tugging at his hair like a childhood bully, but the most he gets in response is a middle finger. Suki hoists your thigh onto his shoulder, and, when you wiggle too much, uses a free hand to pin your waist in place.

It’s an embarrassingly short amount of time until you feel the fire in your belly turn dangerous, like wind carrying bonfire embers into trees to ignite them. It’s not your fault—there’s two pair of eyes when there should be one, equally eager, equally fascinated. Kat catches your chin and pulls you in for a rough kiss, and Suki’s eyes flutter when you squeeze around him, like he’s fingering himself and feeling every curve of his fingertips.

You squirm, understanding the specifics of the feeling that builds and hating them. “Ah fuck—think I’m gonna…?”

“Squirt?” Suki finishes with a knowing smile, like that’s what he’s been aiming for this whole time, and you bristle.

“Fuck you,” you pant, but it get infinitely harder to argue as your vision starts to blur with your breathing. “Yes, Asshole.”

“Hot,” Kat nods in agreement, and if you had the wherewithal to, you’d chuck a pillow in his face. Again.

“You know I hate this.” You give Suki an half-hearted glare, and he fights the smile growing on his face. “Why do you do this to me.”

“Because it’s hot,” Suki hums, and honestly, he deserves a pillow to the face as well. “C’mon, Baby—relax, let it happen.”

He starts stroking your thigh like that’s going to help any. It doesn’t, and the stick you use is no longer good enough to defend your impending orgasm, which is horrible, horrible news for the couch cushion. You’ll need to flip it over. Again.

(So—maybe you should just buy a new cushion, at this point. And avoid sitting in your usual spot on the couch.)

While the orgasm doesn’t catch you by surprise, the strength of it does. Your thighs squeeze around Suki’s head as much as they’re able—as much as he allows—and a hand finds Kat’s to hold on tight and squeeze. You feel Kat fall into your shoulder, or maybe you fall into his. Your body burns, buzzes, anything that starts with a b that sounds hot. You’re hot. On fire, actually.

You don’t open your eyes until the feeling subsides—in time to watch Suki pull away, face soaked, and the couch cushion even more so. Kat takes two fingers and runs them along your folds, only to dip them into his mouth and hum with contentment.

“Sweet, right?”

“Fuck yeah.”

And you, feeling the wet cushion under your back, haven’t decided whether you’re going to smother both (?) your boyfriends in their sleep.

(You make both of them sleep on the couch that night—the wet couch that’s their fault. Kat doesn’t get it, he didn’t even do anything. Suki accepts his fate with a knowing grin.)

© mamashima/pumaya. do not edit, translate or copy my work without my permission. do not use for ai. MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DNI.

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[bfbkg]

PROS AND CONS : BKG (2.3k)

bakugou finds a list you made before you dated him

“one. big cock and knows how to use it. two and it’s in all caps. EATER.”

you rest on your forearms on your sofa, looking across the living room to your boyfriend who has appeared from your bedroom. he’s reading a crumpled sheet of paper from god knows where with a massive grin on his face.

“did you get the fan from my room? katsuki, it’s hot!” you whine petulantly. you've got your thin shorts and bralette on, trying to fight the heatwave that has taken over your city.

the heat has beat you down, left you stranded in your living room with three ice lolly packets in your path and skin sticky. you can feel the sweat trickle down your spine, you can see it gathered on katsuki’s exposed forehead, yet he still stands there reading.

“hold on, i’m lovin’ this,” he says, gold tooth shining as his mouth stretches wider, “three. rich and generous with it. is that right? you with me for my cock and money?”

you blink at him a few times, trying not to get distracted by his shirtless bare chest or the black headband he’s got on to push his unruly blonde locks back. he’s handsome, deliciously so. still, you think back to why everything he’s saying is so familiar.

“four. handsome. deliciously so. body and face. rare,” bakugou laughs, boyish and booming, “thanks, babe.”

you feel uncomfortable, perspiration dribbling between your breasts, limbs heavy with exhaustion.

“what is that? what are you reading?”

still bakugou ignores you and continues reading from the paper, “five. successful and ambitious. six. good friend even though he pretends he’s not. protective!! seven. so gentlemanly, holding open doors, paying for dates, very clear on why he likes me.” ruby pupils flicker over to you, “that last one is bare minimum.”

then it clicks, about seven points too late. your head snaps over to him robotically, eyes about to fall out of your head. “where the hell did you find that! stop reading it! stop katsuki!”

you hop up from your seat on your sofa, speed like no other taking over you as you run across the room to grab at the paper in bakugou’s hands. his laugh only booms louder, holding the flimsy sheet in the air over your head as you jump like a child.

“seriously, don’t read anymore!” you shout, trying to hoist yourself up his larger body, using his arms and shoulder as a climbing frame.

nothing about bakugou budges, he just continues reading with the paper in the air.

“it’s getting good, baby!” he laughs, ignoring your jumps and furrowed brows, “eight. listens to me. really listens. makes me feel heard and remembers what i say.”

he looks down at you, whose fingertips are slapping the bottom of the paper. you recognise it all too clearly now. the pink ruled lines, the edges ripped out from one of your old notebooks. your handwriting. “that’s cute. i still listen to you, don’t i?”

“you’re not now! give it back!”

“i’m almost done, two more,” bakugou says, hooking his arm behind your back to keep you locked close to him. you’re both sweaty and sticky. you’ve got no choice but to listen, “nine. cooks. such a good cook! you added five exclamation marks there. ten. fulfils some of my love languages. some?”

“now stop.” you urge. he can’t turn the paper around. he can’t.

bakugou pecks your forehead, his cheeks blushed with all the compliments. he continues skimming the list, rereading it. 

“so this is why you chose to date me, huh?” he looks down at you, pouts his lips, “c'mon gimme a kiss.”

if you just grab it out his hands, he won’t see the other side. with pros always comes—

he stops pouting at you.

“give me the paper. i wrote this all a few years ago!”

“if these are the pros, where’s the cons? you must have done a cons list.” 

you shake your head, side to side. he holds the paper away from you. the opposite side, the list of all your cons, written back at you. you loop out of his arm, trying to reach for it.

he notices you staring, eyes fixated and that’s when he flips the paper around. CONS in big red capital lettering.

“this is private! you weren’t meant to see this, you shouldn’t be snooping in my room!” you squeak but bakugou’s already half down the page, pupils running across every line like he’s in a race.

“one. WILL choose his job over me—,”

“well obviously, your job is to save the world!”

“two. odd relationship with his mother? but apparently it’s better than before.”

“it’s so much better now!”

bakugou’s eyebrows drop now, voice getting lower as he continues, “three. argumentative. argues with EVERYONE. his agency workers, the media and his friends.”

“i understand why you argue with them all now! it makes sense!”

“three. his job is terrifying.”

bakugou looks over to you, solemn narrowed eyes and you don’t have a positive word to say about that.

“it is, sometimes i don’t know if you’ll come home.”

“four. he doesn’t do much else besides work. all his friends are from work.” bakugou pinches his nose bridge, “really? you think that?”

“now i don’t! and i know they’re childhood friends and… and we do things together all the time. i know you love to read, game, you’ve got your lego. i didn’t know all of that then.”

“five. don’t know if my friends and family will understand.” bakugou steps away from you, “the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

you huff on the spot, “this was from when i met you! all they’ve seen of you is shouting and yelling on the television. they didn’t know how lovable you are. how well you treat me.”

bakugou looks at you, then back at the paper. scratches his head. “six. inexperienced with sex but it’s really cute. has never had a girlfriend?”

“but number one pro is that you know how to use it. obviously we’re experienced now, we know everything about each other,” you flick your finger between you and your boyfriend. 

“and the girlfriend comment? i can’t help the fact you’re my first.”

“no, i mean yes i know that. it was just a question as to why. it doesn’t mean anything to me now.”

“but it was a factor in whether you wanted to be my girlfriend,” he states.

“well, yeah,” you drawl, “i thought maybe there was a reason as to why. that’s all.”

bakugou raises his eyebrows, looks back at the sheet, “seven. doesn’t always have time for me. travels a lot for work.”

“that hasn’t changed.” bakugou grunts. it’s something he knows you struggle with while dating him. it’s even been a conversation you’ve had a few times throughout your relationship. quality time. you want to spend more time with him but he simply can’t. 

you sigh, grabbing his chin between your fingers so he looks directly at you. his eyes are half lidded, cheeks red and exhausted from the negativity and heat. “we’ve been through this. i’m still gonna stick by you, everything i love about you means more than all the things i find difficult.”

he takes your palm away from your face and squeezes it. but you can tell he’s feeling off. “the last one. eight, he’s surrounded by beautiful women all the time.”

“you’re with celebrities, pro heroes, socialites a lot,” you shrug, “that was jealousy on my part, nothing to do with you.”

“i don’t give a fuck about any of that.”

you nod sharply, “i know! i wrote this a while ago, two years even? a lot has changed.”

bakugou sighs from the pit of his stomach, then flings his head back in a huff. “fuck, baby.” he groans.

then he looks down at you, looking up at him.

“just wanna put it out there, that was private, you weren’t meant to see that, my opinions have now changed and i’m sure you had a mental pro con list for me. i just wrote mine down.”

bakugou folds the paper, “yeah, yeah, i get it. you hate my job that much, huh? it covered half of the fuckin’ cons.

“i also said i liked you were successful and ambitious.” you sit on the back of the sofa, crossing your arms. 

bakugou mirrors you standing, crossing his arms too. “but nothing about my job has changed since we’ve got together.”

you groan, leaning your head on your shoulder, “katsuki, i think you’re making problems out of nothing here.”

“you made a list of the problems with datin’ me.” he frowns, holding the folded paper between two fingers.

“and a list of the reasons why i wanted to date you. obviously the good reasons won if i’m with you now.” you glare at him with a sharp tone.

he begins to pace around the room, paper still in hand. a terrible sign. you watch as sweat trickles down his skin, body flush with heat.

“but, babe. the problems you’ve had with me from before we were dating are still problems now. i still don’t have time for you, you still are terrified every time i’m minutes late from a mission, you don’t think i’d choose you over my job and you don’t think i do anything but work.”

you moan aloud, “and i still want you despite that all. i get the world needs you, heck, i need you if i come across a villain. i don’t hate you for being a hero.”

he stops behind you, on the other side of the sofa, “i don’t want you to resent me when you realise you could have been with someone who does have more time for you, isn’t obsessed with their job, can put you first and doesn’t scare you.”

you hop off the sofa. leaning your forehead on his collarbone. “katsuki. i wouldn’t be here if i didn't want to be. i love you. i choose you everyday. i don’t want to argue with you.”

bakugou doesn’t touch you. there’s a shake to his voice, “i’m sorry i’m not better. i’m gonna try to be. just wait for me, fuck, maybe when i’m slower and the younger lot take over, they’ll need me less. it’s just now—,”

“it’s okay. you have time for me right now but you wanna argue with me," you pout up at him.

“you did put that i’m argumentative,” he looks away from you as your hands link around his neck. 

“look at me.”

shiny lava red pupils find you. you ground him, takes him out of the what ifs and the failures of his past and places him in the present with you. 

“i have dated bakugou katsuki for two years and i love him so much. i love how kind and generous he is, always putting his loved ones first. how he dedicates his life and body to saving the world. how even if he’s tired from a long week of working, he still comes over to cook me a three course meal because he wants to see me eat his food. who was so open and willing to change for me. to change his routines and learn my body. who is argumentative because he wants to make things right. who wanted so hard for my family and friends to love him and manages to see his mother once a week just to check up on her.”

you search in both his eyes and he’s listening, he always is.

“i can write an updated list for you, if you want.”

he shakes his head, stuffs his forehead into your neck and slowly pushes you down into the sofa. you laugh, his hands plastered into your waist as his body crushes you in the plush cushions ever so slightly.

“‘m sorry. i shouldn’t have read it. even though i enjoyed the pros.” he muffles, lips tickling your skin.

you tap his shoulder. “you shouldn’t have but it’s okay. i still need you to get my fan. it’s hot.”

“promise you’ll tell me if you want somethin’ to change between us. i’m not wakin’ up one day to you leavin’ me for a reason right under my nose.” he urges and you can see him pleading. the desperation for you to agree.

“promise. now you promise me.”

“course i promise. i couldn’t even fill out ten reasons as to why i hate you.”

“i didn't say i hate you. and sure you can. you hate my cold feet. you hate how i moan about my job. you hate how i hate your job. you hate how i always want a massage. you hate how i wait until the last minute when you’re tucked up in bed for you to get me a glass of water. you hate how i’m indecisive for what i want for my birthdays and—,”

bakugou sits up, “i don't hate any of that shit. love listenin’ to you and half that shit is cute as hell.”

you pout, “you hate when i wear low cut tops out—,”

he frowns, “that’s foreplay, baby. you let me suck your tits after to make me happy. couldn’t give a shit what you wear.”

“how about how protective my friends are? and the fact i tell them everything?”

bakugou shrugs, “you deserve friends that love you that much and that you can tell everythin’.”

“i get snappy when i’m running late or too much is going on or i’m hot.”

with that bakugou gets up. your fan. though not without hovering over you to give you a peck. then another. you press your soft lips against his though you don’t open up because then you will get even hotter and snappy.

he pulls off you and rises from the sofa, “that makes sense, baby. you’re stressed and uncomfortable.”

you roll your eyes, “stop being so understanding!”

he walks towards your bedroom, but not without turning around to look at you. his fingers grip the door frame, “i love you.”

“i love you too… and no snooping!”

[alexxuun]

Fist my bump!

Wait until you hear about fist me…

[harvocel]

hail mary, full of--