I hardly know 'er!

my puns are bad my ass is great

[writingdose]

one of the best feelings tbh

[muppetwife]

bruh it stresses me out. Fleshwife gotta calm me down like a spooked horse

[innerchildabortionclinic]

favorite genre of joke. starting a collection

[brucebocchi]

[muppetwife]

Hey what if there was saw but for cats?

[tall]

[jasper-rolls]

the more things change the more they stay the same

[honeyproducer-blog]

Pretty sure I’ve said “come out you bitch I’ll maul you” word for word

[snailifier]

🐌✨️ get snailed! 🐌✨️

Snretty snure I’ve snaid “snome out bitch I’ll snaul you” snord for snord

[knightclubbing]

worry not my lord, allow me to unscrew that jar for you. i would not want for you to strain your hand or break a nail. alright. hmm. HMMMM. HNNNGRGHHHHHH. HNNGGHHHH HRRRRRGHHH. AAAAAARGHHHHHHH fucking. squire fetch me my grippy gloves

[muppetwife]

Muppetchild (designation: 2 of 5) reports that a lady does not sip from a faucet directly, one must catch the water droplets with their paw and lap it demurely from there

[muppetwife]

Look, i just think some people deserve to be made of felt and have button eyes

[elethart]

Finally some quality content in my portfolio

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

[teathattast]

[depsidase]

[contemptible-scoundrel]

saying "the age of 30 is in demand" near an elf and she looks at you with abject disgust

[xcarbon]

[safetynotguaranteedx]

[carnival-phantasm]

[comvi]

[muppetwife]

Me if i was a giant mechanical crab that ate cars. (I'm separating the parts so i can eat the ones i like first)

[crimsonflowerz]

my angel wings just burst from my back in public and sprayed blood everywhere and a small child called me a homosexual