slightly mad @musedblues - Tumblr Blog

U N D E R T O W (server!eddie)

a/n: this was originally conceived as a way for me to cope with the hell on earth that was my restaurant job. and then i accidentally turned it extra sad to add flavor. heavy subject matter, as per usu.

warnings: wait staff ptsd. descriptions of sex. partially established reader backstory. legit trigger warning for descriptions of childhood neglect, abuse, addiction, and mental health issues. yall know i can't write anything without projecting my own fucking depressing ass life, SORRRYYYYY. reader still vague, though! MINORS DNI

wallowa lake monster - sufjan stevens

///

You ran until your feet ached. To the other side of town where nothing stood, besides yourself. You waited there near the woods till sunrise. For her to pass out. For her to leave town again. You waited for change. For the cycle to begin again.

///

"Another gin fizz?" You exasperated through a fake smile, hoping the woman on the opposite side of your bar hadn't seen your eye twitch.

"And make it a double!" She squawked as you spun to add the tedious process to your list of things to do.

"Please tell me table ten's martinis are done." Nancy appeared at the end of your bar top, tapping her nails on the mahogany.

You called back to the girl that her table’s drinks were coming up after a few orders of wine, as you poured them. Steve came dashing by to collect the stemmed glasses you'd arranged on a tray barely big enough for the array of drinks. He was a pro, the glasses hardly budged on his swift mission to serve them.

Nancy complained about table ten while you whipped up their martinis; and the woman at your bar top kept getting louder to remind you she'd just asked for another very complicated drink.

It was a hectic Friday, not unexpected. But for you, this was an easy enough shift. You'd been doing this job a long time. Well, mixing drinks anyhow. You'd only just started at Gino's. All thanks to Nancy.

"Here you go, dear." You helped Nancy set up her tray with drinks and gave her a wink that promised your plans for dinner were still on, once this shift was over.

"I can't believe it's been just a month. You do this like you've been here forever." Nancy thanked you and hurried off; into the flood of table chatter and Italian jazz that crackled too loudly from the speakers in every corner.

"I want my gin and f-"

"And after I make it, you're closing out your tab." You spun with a finger in the angry customer's direction, losing patience. That shut her up. Finally, there was a pause in the frenzy. No servers pestering you, no customers demanding. There was a moment while you worked, to think of what kind of pizza you'd order later. But then your bar was missing a key ingredient. And the rush hit you once more.

"I've got to go get some more lemons." You announced, only to reason with the woman who was watching your every move as you'd been mixing her drink. She hummed with squinted eyes while you huffed toward the kitchen.

The server line was a mess of workers and spilled seasoning and crumbled up tickets. There was some Ozzy song blasting from the kitchen, and you heard one of the grill guys curse about the flames being too high.

As you hurried toward the stock room, the commotion from that end of the kitchen droned quieter, while some other rang louder, near the backdoors.

"Don't make me beg, Murray." A voice called, while you recognized the manager's scoffs. They were getting closer to where you were turning toward it seemed. You weren't one to stop everything to eaves drop, but you couldn't help but overhear the conversation that kept getting closer.

"You don't understand man, I really need my job back." The voice called. You quirked an eyebrow as you found the box of lemons.

"I understand perfectly well." Murray seemed to lace his words with some vitriol. Just then he rounded the corner you stood near with a roll of his eyes, clipboard in hand. The wild haired manager was clearly busy, and in a hurry to shake whoever you heard following him.

"Come on, wait up!" The voice called.

Just as you'd filled your bar's container with all the fruit that would fill it, the stranger appeared around the corner. And he wasn't a stranger at all.

Eddie Munson stopped in his tracks, deep brown eyes paused to find you frozen in place before him all the same. He was grown up. Hair still a tangled mess, longer than you'd ever known. His figure covered by a ripped up motorcycle tee and some ancient leather.

"What-" He shook his head, big eyes blinking as you decided very quickly this had to wait. Or better yet, never be addressed properly at all. Before Eddie could finish asking whatever it was, you spun on your heels to follow Murray in your flee from the kid. Not like he was some monster to escape from. But the lady at your bar was probably fuming. And you really didn't have time to unpack a dozen things concerning Eddie Munson.

///

Your shift ended with the closing servers crowding your bar top. Every worker was allotted a complimentary drink at the end of each shift, yourself included. You chose wine tonight, setting your glass aside as you made Dustin a flavored lemonade. The high school kid always tried to get you to sneak a little vodka in when Murray wasn't looking.

The manager was sauntering toward the gathering, gesturing for his normal shot; while Steve and Nancy shifted from their slouch at the opposite end of your bar top.

"Yo Murray," Steve sat up, leaning closer to catch the boss's attention. "Did Munson come in today?"

Murray let out a heavy sigh as you handed him the swallow of gin. Before he could respond properly, Steve was talking again.

"I know he's like your number one enemy, but he was our best guy, man, you gotta let him come back." Steve pushed. Everyone locked their gaze on the manager as he drank, then waved for another shot.

"Don't push it tonight, Harrington. I'll..... think about it." Murray grumbled through a warning glance. The manager left his shot glass in your care as you felt your heart rise to your throat. Eddie worked here before? What if he did come back? What were you going to do?

As you washed the shot glass and tried to stop your thoughts from spiraling, Steve waved you closer to fill you in.

"Murray and Munson are mortal enemies. Eddie quit one day. No two weeks. Just, left a tray full of food abandoned and his apron on the floor. It felt kind of inevitable. Eddie was going through... well, a lot back then." Steve's countenance withdrew ever so slightly. He hadn't realized you knew more than you let on. And that was good. "But despite his and Murray's thing, he was our best server. We actually struggled when he left. Murray would be a fool not to have a worker like that back." Steve smirked as he sipped his drink. "Plus all the girls have a crush on that sorry sucker. Everybody'll win."

///

"Look I don't know." You sighed, crossing your legs on Nancy's plush carpet, reaching for the pizza on her coffee table. She settled before you with drinks in hand, taking her turn playing bar tender. You'd been talking about moving back.

"I moved away from here to escape from all my baggage. And I know I overcompensated in California by going wild." You tried to explain. You had a goal to change your life for the better. But your efforts failed, your hard work crumbled, what little money you'd saved was wasted away. "I recognize that I tried to bury my pain with pleasure. But I only moved back because it was easy. I still don't think I'm ready to face everything."

"No, I understand. I mean…" Nancy spun the beer bottle in her hand, resting a finger on the rim as the bottom swiveled on its coaster.

You and Nancy hadn't been particularly close, growing up. But she used to be great fun to work with in group projects. In school, Nancy was the perfect lunch table guest. She never asked the gruesome details about your past or your present. She never indulged in that gossip every other kid passed around about you. Even now. Nancy never asked. She just knew things had been bad for you, and that you'd escaped it. And that you were becoming real pals since you started at Gino's. Pal's that window shopped and made dinner plans and laughed about boys.

"I can't pretend I relate." Nancy hummed. "But I can understand. You came back home to start over. Not to make amends."

///

All of high school, you saved every penny from the bus floor and every dollar from old coat pockets. And you got pretty good at spotting the shine of a nickel across asphalt and hallways. Four years of street coins and loose fives added up to nearly two thousand odd dollars- much to a weary bank teller's dismay. You had plans to put the money to use getting yourself out of Indiana for good.

And then, like fate, by the grace and terror of God or the universe, she died. Your mother died the very day before you planned to run from her. Your bus ticket was already purchased. Your freedom was set in stone.

California started well. You bought a car. You started bartending. You found a roommate. The roommate found a boyfriend. And the three of you would spend nights and days off running wild. Nothing was off limits. Especially to you, the world was your oyster. California was sunny and warm and perfect and happy. Until it wasn't. Until you started staying out too late, and missing work. Until you started sleeping with the wrong people and ending up in the worst places. Until you spent too much money in night clubs and forgot to save enough for gas. Until your roommate's boyfriend stole your car. He said he was gonna take it to pick up some smokes to bring back. But neither him or your car ever returned.

Your roommate blamed you. And she showed up at your bar one day and started a fight bad enough to get you fired. You'd been on thin ice there anyway. It all came to a head. Your roommate had all of your stuff outside when you returned to the flat. It wasn't much. One box of films, one bag of clothes. No hope or money left.

Your mother always said "There's nothing you can't move on from. Just don't stop moving, that's what'll getcha." You thought it was sound advice, for a while. But it was advice you started to resent now, after working so hard to move forward and losing everything.

Her voice in your head kept that phrase on repeat all your life. But especially then, when it was all for nothing. And just to spite her mortal coil, you thought of slowing down. You thought of turning around. You decided to do just that.

The last of your money was spent on a plane ride back to the Midwest. And a down-payment to your old landlord. Same complex. New apartment. He'd always been kind to you. Even now. You tried to pretend like his offer to cut the price was too generous to accept. But both he and you shared a look of disgruntled agreement. Even that little was still too much, with everything you'd saved wasted. Right back where you'd begun. Right back where you planned so long to flee.

On your second day back in Indiana, your landlord was generous enough to loan you a new bed and frame, and put in a good word for you at the antique place at the edge of town. they gave you a couch, a table, and two chairs for a price so low you almost felt offended. But you didn't have the funds to let that feeling matter.

On your third day in Indiana, you ran into Nancy at the market. She beamed to see you back in town, asking if you moved for family or for work. "I moved for me. No family. No work either, if you hear anything...."

She was quick to write a phone number for a new local restaurant on the back of her receipt.

"It's an Italian place, surprisingly decent for this backwoods town. In that building that used to be the biker bar? They don't hire very often but I'll put in the best word for you." Nancy smiled, a genuine grin. You noticed there was no pity there, no grace for your circumstances. There was only zeal in her happiness to see you and a hope she may again. That's what you'd always liked about Nancy. She never babied you. She never protected you. She never pried. Like everyone else. She was only almost a friend. And that was the best thing almost anyone had ever been on your behalf.

So, you moved back home to spite your dead mother. But maybe actually starting over wouldn't hurt. You slowed life down out of malice, but you kept steady out of a realized necessity. Your whole life you'd been running. Because your mother said so. Because you wanted nothing to do with her. Because you wanted nothing to do with her name attached to yours. Nothing to do with yourself.

But the first time you stopped to evaluate who you'd become since her reign of terror over your life had ended, you came up short. So back to the drawing board felt right, vengeful too, but right.

Facing the old grey town was almost too difficult, on your first week back. You felt hate for the cold wind in place of the sunshine you'd become accustomed to. You felt sick to settle back into these old apartments. You felt sad to walk past the landmarks where memories felt more like hauntings. But the more you accepted that, the easier they became to face.

And thank God for Nancy. She encouraged you to ramble when you got drunk enough to, about what you were willing to open up with. But she never looked at you knowingly. And that's why you hurried away from Eddie.

His eyes were still so big and so affected. His eyes looked into yours that night with a billion different questions and answers and apologies. And that was something you just weren't expecting to have to be confronted by.

///

Murray was scribbling the floor plan at the host desk as you yawned into the black tiled restaurant. The iron chairs hadn't yet been turned down from the tables, and the sun shone brightly past half drawn red velvet curtains.

"You sure you're ready for this brunch shift new girl?" Murray called from the host stand as you glided across the dining area to the raised bar. Three marbled steps led to your domain. A wide bar top held a dozen stools. Beyond there, a half wall of booths shrouded your risen bar off from the lower dining area.

"Yeah yeah, half off mimosas and prosecco," You answered.

"Our food runner called off!" Murray rang with a sorry hand thrown in the air, as he turned toward the kitchen. That meant a little extra work for you and that damn tiny staircase. But you crossed your fingers that your customers would tip you better if they saw you busting ass on their behalf.

Nancy and Steve showed up just before the first guests arrived. They were the only guests in Nancy's section for so long, that Steve took to sitting at your bar top with his head in his hand, quizzing you about what grapes made what wine.

You had to chuckle. You'd never dared cross his path in high school. Steve held too much attention, whether he chose to or not. On sports teams, at the best lunch table. You were not so privy beyond the shadows you admittedly chose to stick closer too, growing up.

"Oh my God someone's here." Steve shot up from his slump to find a single customer walking in. Brunch was normally busy. It was almost eerie to stand around with nothing better to do than to keep Steve Harrington amused.

Soon as you started thinking so, the doors flooded with guests and the last of your coworkers showed up. You were ready for battle, notepad in hand. You slung a billion mimosas and kept your heart rate elevated, running up and down from the bar to the kitchen to deliver salads and pasta. This job kept your time filled. And your mind occupied. And money in your pockets. That's why it was easy to ignore the irate customers. Easy to block out the tension in the kitchen when the cooks ran out of shit. Sure, the job was stressful. But for you, it was a blessed necessity. You'd handled much worse.

In the middle of balancing a tray of lasagna and pointing a lost woman in the direction of the restrooms, there was a commotion near the host stand. You could see the area clearly from your raised bar section. A mess of waiting customers were shifting from their crowd near the host desk.

Eddie Munson was storming in, yanking a knot into the apron at his waist and winking at guests as he mumbled something about being late. There you were, with your heart in your throat again, eye fixed on the man you'd now become a coworker with. Funnily, you'd never really pictured Eddie working... well, anywhere. Let alone such a fast-paced personable environment. In a millisecond you remembered every class Eddie strolled in fifteen minutes past the bell, to every field trip he'd defied the teacher's boundaries of. And you laughed to yourself now, seeing as he clearly mismanaged his time, still. As the guy disappeared into the kitchen, you realized you'd been stalling to finish refilling a couple's water.

Like some kind of punishment, Murray made Eddie an everyman. He ran food. He took tables in overflowed sections. He helped you find a case of beer and unloaded it in your bar while you took some orders. And every time Eddie helped buss one of your tables or delivered a refill, his eyes looked into yours with that dreaded knowing you hated so much. That damn look reminded you where you came from. Where he came from. Not that you'd wanted to completely forget. But you just hated that damn look.

That day never let up. There were one too many mishaps from the kitchen, several issues with the cash register, and one order that Steve forgot to put in for so long, his table threw their empty appetizer basket at his head.

Your shift ended with the last brunch guests being escorted out by a police officer who was originally there picking up his lunch to go. You'd cut them off from too many mimosa pitchers and they were starting to go from unreasonably rowdy to making threats you hadn't expected to be given so seriously over a drink in a shitty Italian place.

"No more half off mimosa's!" Murray yelled before slamming his office door shut.

///

"Let's go kids, I'm not even joking if you guys don't get in my car it will be my last straw." Steve was slinging his suede jacket on and ripping his stained server apron off.

"Steve, if you had such a bad shift you wanna go drinking, why are you designating yourself as driver? And why do you want everyone who just worked with you and pissed you off to join?" You chuckled, reaching in your own locker for your purse.

"Nancy can drive us back!" Steve waved, as he took off the back door. "And it's called a trauma bond, keep up, new girl!"

"You guys have fun, I dunno-"

"Awe, no please come on. I know you have tomorrow off. We can really go all out! I'll call Mike to come drive us back. He has his license now. And he owes me!" Nancy whined, stalling on her exit, ignoring Steve's call from outside for everyone to hurry up and come on.

"Well... who is all going?"

"Us, Johnathan, probably Robin, Eddie."

"You know I'm not great in groups." You feigned shyness and tried to shrug off the buzz in your chest at the mention of Eddie's name.

"Come on, we can seal off a little two top and talk."

Nancy linked her arm through yours, and you couldn't help but smile. You made enough money for rent, this week, and extra to add to your thrifted drink pitcher with a sticky note on it that wrote "CAR."

///

The bar was a buzz. A woman with a guitar sat on a stool in front of a mixed audience. A couple of friends were hogging the pool table. The bar tenders had enough time to sit between customers.

Your group dispersed among a back section of empty two tops, trading places to tell different stories. Steve and Robin kicked the others out from the pool table. Johnathan sat alone, enjoying whatever spiked soda he ordered. You and Nancy leaned in to gossip two seats away. Your group clapped for each song the woman performed in between venting about the brunch shift from hell.

You sipped a beer with ease, watching one performer leave, a host announcing the jukebox was free game for the rest of the night.

And then he showed up. But this time you’d been prepared to land your gaze on Eddie. Your eyes had been scanning the room, landing on the door, almost willing the guy through it. And when he finally shouldered into the room, the rings on his every other finger glimmered from afar like the lost pennies you used to find. Your gaze fixed on his saunter toward the bar. You watched him exchange a smile and some cash for a bottle. You watched him notice you, and walk closer.

Nancy turned to find your sights stuck on Eddie. She whipped her head back to lean in and ask if you ever hung around the kid back in the day. Your pause in answer was ignored as Nancy rambled about not really knowing who Eddie was, in school.

She waved you even closer after her tipsy recall. "But, when he went missing? We sorrrttaa helped him out." Nancy whispered. You'd been gone a year and some months. You knew you'd miss out on changes to store fronts and deaths and weddings. But you hadn't heard many updates until you landed back in town. And this bit of information was really off your radar.

"Missing?" You gaped, unaware of this story in its entirety.

"Oh, maybe you had already moved, I guess, who knows, he's back now anyway. Just like you!" Nancy was going from tipsy to beyond as her story progressed. And just as you nodded at her ramble, he was headed right your way. Eddie didn't stop until he was sitting at your table, pulling up a chair from another and resting his bottle between yours and Nancy's.

"Is this my welcome back party? Or Steve's farewell?" Eddie joked. You were inebriated enough to chuckle without nerves clogging up your throat.

"He gets so flustered." Nancy hummed, eyes growing wide with commiseration for Steve. He really had the worst shift today. "But he never slows down enough to avoid these situations. Lost orders. Mismatched drinks. He's much better on a slow day." Nancy laughed despite her empathy, and Eddie did too. He hadn't looked right at you yet, not since he sat.

But as the hour went on, and your drinks started disappearing, you and Eddie and Nancy talked easily about work. About Murray, his silly temper. Eddie's feud with the manager.

"Murray's not even Italian! His spaghetti recipe is from his Russian grandma or some shit!" Eddie spat, disconcerted, buzzed enough to grin at the absurdity of the sentence he just spoke. It was so easy to look at him at that point. To laugh with him. But when you started to look too long, the memories fizzled closer to your focus. His laugh sounded a little too familiar at one particular point. Despite the alcohol, your nervous system stuttered to a halt all too quickly. This was too weird.

Without too much suspicion, you feigned a yawn. Timed out a couple of stretches. And waited just long enough to call it a night. Nancy begged for your mind to change. Saying something about calling Mike for a ride.

"It's okay. I'll see you in two days." You smiled, letting the expression meant for Nancy stay on your face as you turned past Eddie to leave. His deep brown eyes were shifting, looking for something in yours. It was majorly time to leave.

The night was chilly. You hurried out of the bar and around the corner to a fierce wind that made you curse the town and its location. California's sun was never missed more than now.

The roads were empty, the town was shut in. There was just you and blinking stop lights and too much wind. It whipped with a roar so intense you almost hadn't heard some car pulling toward the cross walk until you stepped right out in front of it.

"What the fuck are you doing?" The driver's breaks squeaked. It wasn't a car, it was a van. It wasn't just a driver, it was Eddie. Jesus, you couldn’t get away from this dude.

"I'm so sorry, I promise I'm not suicidal, just stupid." You shouted back, wrapping your jacket around your waist as you moved against the weather to hurry forward.

"Where are you going? It's crazy out there!" Eddie called, rolling his window down even further, the wind passing through his wild hair.

"No where!" You turned back, only so he could hear you.

"Get in the car," Eddie pleaded your name like an impatient parent.

"You don't have to do that." You yelled back, pausing in place. Part of you froze out of anxiety. The other part of you froze out of consideration. Then the wind nearly blew your bag from your arms.

"Okay fine." You decided with a grumble. Your place was still several blocks away, and you were already starting to freeze. As you opened Eddie's passenger door and climbed in, he turned down his radio. "Same building as before."

"Got it." Eddie nodded, watching you settle in before taking off down the road with a little more caution. The van was warm. The radio crackled some Police song that kept getting drowned out from the wind, even beyond the full closed windows. You'd actually never been in his car before.

The ride stayed quiet for a couple of turns, while you sat picking at your nails.

"So... when did you get back?" Eddie decided to choose his words slowly, keeping his eyes on the road.

"Two months ago."

"I see."

Maybe... you were making it weird. Maybe on your mission to avoid awkward conversation you'd made everything far too weird. Maybe you were still buzzed enough to finally say something.

"How have you been?" You asked with caution. It was a loaded question. But you knew he wouldn't bullshit his answer.

"I've been good. Like... actually. Finally good." Eddie said, pulling into the lot of your complex.

"Good." You nodded and you meant it. As you started to gather your purse and apron from the van's floor, he hesitated to speak. But you could tell he was about to, as you reached for the door handle.

"Do you need-"

"No, thank you though." You hurried, finding solid ground and feigning a too intense smile. "Ya know, for the ride and... everything. Thank you." With a thud, you shut the passenger door and hurried to the doors of your apartment complex. His van lingered until you passed through the halls and waited a safe enough distance to look back.

///

She'd left town again, for a month, maybe two. You were old enough to know why. The drugs or a man, or another addiction of the hour. You were old enough to know better than to tell anyone. You hated the cops making a big show of everything. You hated being pawned off to one of those families, just to be ripped away from them, too.

Your landlord knew better than to ask why your mother never answered the door. He'd stop by pretending she called him to turn the water back on. Or to pretend he bought too many extra groceries. He'd ask you to store some. Told you to help yourself.

You knew better than to let on that she'd gone. You kept your appointments with your cps provided counselor and promised them everything was fine. Promised you were simply busy with school. You'd seen Eddie there, in the waiting room. You made sure he didn't see you walk home alone.

Eddie was always around. In the same offices and bus stops. Sometimes neither of you said a word to each other. But sometimes Eddie would share his gas station snacks or tell you the vhs in your hand seemed cool. He’d let you ramble about the plot sometimes. Sometimes you and Eddie would miss the early bus to sneak around the city park when the weather was nice enough to put your feet in the pond. He was the closest thing to a friend you had. But in your world there wasn’t much time for such frivolity. And sometimes, you intentionally snuck out of those waiting rooms without catching his eye.

Then, afterwhile, she came back. Better than ever. Had the house all cleaned up one day after school. She greeted you by screaming that you'd left the place a mess, this whole time. You never asked where she went. She never asked how you were. She stayed okay like that for a while. Her silence, that was as good as it ever got.

///

"It's not good, new girl!"

Murray was in shambles at the cash register, slamming the wall phone back into place.

"Alexi cut his hand, he's not coming back for a couple days. It's just Argyle and Hardgrove back there. And they're already fighting. Robin and Maxine called off. Steve went home sick this morning." Murray shot you a look over his glasses as you adjusted the apron at your waist. "It's going to just be you and Eddie out here tonight. And he's late."

"It's what?" You begged him to start from the top; sure you heard him wrong. Sure this was some kind of stress induced fever dream.

"Twenty reservations. Four party tables. Just- I don't know, take your time? Dustin will be your host. Don't kill him." Murray pointed, stepping away and hurrying off toward his name being yelled from the kitchen. It sounded like Argyle was having trouble with the microwave again.

"Pray for us new girl!"

As you processed this new information you noticed Johnathan bussing off the last of his lunch tables. You hurried over to help, not out of total kindness, but hoping he'd listen to your plea.

"Any chance you want to work a double tonight?" You grinned, stacking cups and plates.

"Ah, Murray already asked. I've got to take Will across town later. I'm sorry." Johnathan seemed at least actually regretful to be unable to help fill space. He wished you and Eddie luck with the busy night of reservations. There were usually at least seven servers on, during a night like this. It was sure to result in utter chaos. But the chaos wasn't your sole worry.

Things started easily. Reservations trickled in. You were up to six full tables by the time Eddie rushed in. But after Eddie disappeared into the kitchen for a moment, he came zooming out more hurriedly than before, speeding your way.

"I'm so sorry I'm late. I just heard the plan. Are you okay? Should we like, figure out how to handle this?" The guy was holding his hands out, ready to take whatever you gave him. Ready to help.

"It's okay." You had to chuckle. It was about to get pretty stressful, but it wasn't set in yet. You had a minute to game plan.

You'd already decided cocktails were off menu. You couldn't wait on half the massive dining room AND play bartender with all the heavily mixed drinks your menu had to offer. Eddie scrawled a message on the chalkboard at the front, something about only featuring beer and wine tonight. Then you each held Dustin hostage, demanding the poor kid ask before sitting any tables. The only way this could work was if you knew how to handle each worst-case scenario beforehand. There wasn't going to be time to stop to resolve anything.

Murray even submerged from behind his usually locked office door to help in the kitchen. That's how you knew it was about to be bad.

Guests trickled in. Walk in's and reservations alike. Poor Dustin was already running back and fourth, pulling at Eddie's shirt sleeves and blocking your turn into doorways, asking if you were ready for more guests, asking how long to hold people at the door. Telling Eddie he had several requests. Some of the customers who'd wanted Eddie ended up in your section. Weather they conceded or Dustin fucked up, you'd never know.

Before you knew it, Gino's was full. Every ten top. Every bar seat. Every round booth and checker clothed table. Murray evolved into a food runner. A damn food runner. You'd never seen Murray run besides away from Eddie. Argyle only yelled. At Billy to shut up. At you to wait for him to finish cooking. At Eddie for yelling at him because he was yelling at you.

"You can't call Nancy? You can't call fucking...who else works here?" You begged Murray, balancing a tray with five different orders meant for tables strewn across the restaurant.

"I did! I did! You think I fucking didn't?" Murray panicked, reaching for a shaker of parmesan Eddie slid him across the heated opening. Murray was in such a hurry he burnt his hand moving out of the hot window.

"Murray we better never have a shift like this again I swear to God." Eddie was cursing, impatiently tapping his foot as enough coffee brewed to fill up a mug he held under the machine.

"Or what? You'll quit?" Murray mocked. He burnt his hand again.

"And all these regulars you lost when I quit the first time will never come back! And you'll be praying for a day as busy as now! And who will show up?"

"Shut the fuck up! Just shut up! It's too busy to bicker!" You shouted, finally lifting the tray of a dozen plates in your grasp. You glanced out into the dining area abuzz with customers. "Uh, Murray." You spoke, "The lady from table four is looming outside the server door and I think she might kill me once I pass through it. Could you, ya know, manage?"

Murray threw down whatever plate he was arranging and stormed out into the server line, mumbling something about management and what a stupid idea it was to ever open the restaurant in the first place.

You followed behind, on a mission to drop a plate of hot food. Some tables were yours. Some were not. Some guests thanked you for delivering their dinner. Some asked why Eddie wasn't doing it. Some shoved extra tips in your apron, understanding you were in the trenches. Some didn't tip you at all.

You'd greeted most of your tables tonight with a warning. And most of them understood. Most of them practiced patience. But some guests grumbled when you failed to refill their soda they sucked down in ten second's time. They didn't like when you told them they'd have to wait.

You'd usually not been too flustered in times like now. You'd usually take your time during a rush, and been good at assessing what to do first when you had a billion duties to fulfil. But tonight was different. Tonight, you were being pushed to limits you hadn't realized you had, as a worker.

And what really started to get under your skin, was how easy Eddie seemed to be handling things. He was laughing with his guests, he was everywhere all at once, not a long, beautiful hair out of place. He was putting a stop to upset guests' outrage before they even began. But you were starting to talk back. You were starting to lose your cool. And there were still two more hours before close.

"I didn't order this!" An older man shook his receipt in your face, insisting the words printed there were wrong. "I wanted the lunch portion of pasta!"

"Right." You started. "And when you asked for that, I told you ALL we had available was the dinner portion. And that's the meal you continued to order."

"Right." The man mocked. "I ordered the dinner, but I want lunch price." He spat, frown growing deeper, face growing red.

"Sir, do you think I'm stupid? Or are you actually that stupid?" You couldn't take it anymore. There was too much happening. There were too many tables whose appetizers were going cold in the window. There were too many plates to bus.

"Excuse me?" The man squinted his eyes, moving closer to the edge of the booth like he was about to stand from it. "Do you talk to your mother with that mouth?"

That was it. You bent at the knees letting your hands rest just above there, lowering yourself to his level.

"My mother is fucking dead." You spoke slow and dark and almost let a smile creep into your features as you watch the angry customer accept the shock that washed over him. And then he was standing, and he towered over you, pointing with a finger, veins popping out as a yell bubbled into his throat. Just before anything could get any worse, Eddie was there.

"Okay, hello. Sir you'll have to wait at the cash register to resolve whatever you think the issue is. You're done here." Your coworker grabbed your shoulders and began to march you back toward the kitchen. As you let Eddie lead you into the space, he was calling for Murry to get his ass out here. The manager came rushing from the grill, covered in flour, glasses cockeyed, hair a mess.

"Murray, we're closing."

"But we still have an hour and ha-"

"We're closing!" Eddie let go of his hold on you, nudging you a little to his side as he went on making decisions. "You're gonna go out into that dining room and announce that we're done for the night. Whoever is sat can stay. Whoever is at the door has to go."

"Munson-"

"If you don't go do it, I will."

Murray decidedly grumbled out into the dining room again. With a look, you and Eddie hurried to the window full of food, deciding which trays to garnish and which to run. You heard Murry make a very professional announcement from the third step of the risen bar and chuckled about what a mess he looked.

The last hour was actually a breeze. Customers were kind. Tips were big. Food was perfect. Argyle even stopped screaming. And soon as it had spun into anarchy, it was silent. You turned off that loud ass Italian jazz that would forever haunt your nightmares, the front doors were locked. There was nothing left to do but clean. Murray helped the boys in the kitchen. Dustin helped you and Eddie.

When it was all said and done, the three of you fled to the comfort of your usual post close bar. You mixed Dustin his favorite flavored lemonade. You gave Eddie a beer. And you took a shot, dreaming of crashing into your bed. The three of you sat in silence, too exhausted to do anything but stare at the wall. When Murray eventually dragged himself toward the bar. He waved at you to stay sitting. He grabbed the entire bottle of gin from your shelf and said he'd be in his office, not to bother him till tomorrow.

"That was so crazy I could have cried from the stress." You admittedly piped up, still slumped over in a state of fatigue.

"Oh, I did." Dustin turned to look at you, eyes wide. Mouth stained blue from his drink. You burst out a laugh, and the kid started to giggle along with you. Eddie started too, and that's how your shift ended.

As you grabbed your things from your locker that night, Eddie waited near the back door, insisting he give you a ride. "I'm already taking the kid home. Don't argue."

"Okay." You looked at Eddie with a smile.

///

That shift from hell resulted in enough money to start car hunting. You didn't quiet have enough yet. But you could start looking at prices to shoot for.

You made enough to save up for the next rent and get some nicer pillows, a tea kettle, and a couple new outfits. Things were looking up. Things were really happening for you. You could do this.

You said a prayer before your next shift. Because even though the money was good last time, you weren't sure if you could handle the chaos again so soon.

Nancy and Steve were lingering on the server line, helping some of the younger kids tidy the place. They both got along so well with everyone. Like they'd all been buddies long before this job. Even with you.

"Hey new girl." Steve spoke to you as you walked in but kept his eye on the freezer full of dessert, filling it for the night.

"You've known her name since preschool, Steve." Nancy swatted at her man, and rolled her eyes at you, taking a stick of gum in her pocket, unveiling one for herself, and one for you.

"S'okay, we never really crossed paths back then." You shrugged to Nancy.

"Yeah well-"

Just then, Eddie burst into the server line. Thirty. Minutes. Early.

It was a shock. It was a twisted miracle. The kids stopped stocking straws and cups and stood in wonder as Eddie raced up to Steve. Even Murray popped his head from his office with his mouth hung open, unable to believe his eyes.

"Guy's, come here, come over here." Eddie was trying to get Steve and Nancy to meet him in a quieter corner. And as you watched them confusedly follow, you noticed Eddie was waving at you, too. Your heart leapt to your throat once more, as it often did when Eddie's eyes locked on yours. But you had to swallow it, and join the group.

"Guys." Eddie started, looking between the three of you. "Our bassist is finally out of jail. We got a gig. You have to come."

"Hell yeah, man!" Steve grinned, excited from the jump.

"Where is it? When?" Nancy quizzed.

"It's at the bar near my place. The good bar, not the shitty one. You know the one. Tomorrow night."

"Your place..." You asked, looking at Eddie as he nodded. You were sure the others hadn't seen his smile falter just so. You were sure the others hadn't seen the way you and Eddie looked at each other for a millisecond. You were both good at hiding it when necessary.

"We'll be there!" Steve snapped, sauntering away, decidedly having heard all he needed to.

"I don't know, it's on the other side of town, like thirty minutes-"

"Don't be silly, you know we'll be your ride." Nancy insisted. She asked Eddie what time to be there, and then turned to tell you what time to be ready.

"If you're not outside by 7:30 I will drag you out." Your friend pointed before she turned to leave. You and Eddie stood in silence, sharing that same look once more. His big brown eyes full of that expression that made you sick to your stomach. His hands wringing together.

"Look I know that maybe it's weird but-" Eddie started to speak. The first real address about before. But before he could go on, Dustin was yelling that you had a table waiting. Just in time.

///

Your heart beat fiercely as you raced out to Steve and Nancy in your car park. They were both none the wiser; dressed cool like the group of you were on your way to some place more renowned than the good pub on the far side of this very sleepy town.

Small talk was a bandaid over your anxiety, as you asked about your friends' days their yammering responses gave you enough of a distraction from your own spiral of thoughts.

It was a thirty minute ride, across the railroad tracks and just past a crooked river. The sights of a few evergreens and farm fields were pretty at this golden hour, the sun's rays cutting through clouds. But the same old bridge that had gotten dozens of generations across one side of town to the other was looking a little worse for wear.

"What's going on with this bridge?" You asked your driver and his girl. It was all torn up, half assed panels drilled into odd spots.

"It got fucked a couple months back. Kids on mopeds or something. They're supposed to actually fix it soon." Steve responded in a tone that made you realize it for some reason may not have been the city’s number one priority.

And all of a sudden the car was parked and your feet were carrying you into the pub and Nancy’s arm was linked around yours. All of a sudden you were ordering a beer and finding refuge on a leather stool, close to a wall you could camouflage yourself into if need be.

“Too bad we couldn’t get Dustin in. It’s gonna be centuries before he’s of age.” Steve whined, sipping from his own bottle while Nancy laughed. But all you were really focused on was Eddie. He was helping his bassist lug an amp onto a barely elevated stage in the opposite corner of the dark room. He was in a jacket a size too small, the leather flaking off at the sleeves. He was lifting a set of fingers to wave at you.

Four beers in, and seven songs. You remembered Eddie being good at this. But his music had gotten a lot better over the time you hadn’t heard it. You and Steve and Nancy watched as the band played with intention, cheering after every outro. The pub had garnered a decent sized crowd, enough for a few patrons to be left standing, every seat filled. Eddie looked happy. And you realized you hadn’t seen that too often. You hadn’t ever seen his smile linger so long in a night.

Even when the show was over, and the encore had ended, and the applause fizzled out- Eddie was still smiling. You watched as he helped his bandmates roll up cords and click cases shut. You watched as he bounced from the stage, straight into Steve’s open armed embrace.

“Dude, that set was so worth waiting on your bassist to get out of jail!”

Everyone laughed.

Eddie’s band mates packed up and headed home, but your group of friends were only just now settling into enjoying the night together. The round table you shared was filled up with empty bottles and glasses. Steve and Nancy decidedly headed to the bartop to add another round of something new to everyone’s tab. While you and Eddie sat alone.

“You’re really very good. Better than I remember. And I always remembered you were good.” You remarked, watching the way the long haired man leaned against the grain of the table. His smile had settled into a smirk and his eyes flashed with a hint of mischief before his ringed hand waved away the moment.

“I was gonna make a lame joke, but…”

“But what? Not funny?” You chuckled, on the edge of wonder at what he was decidedly not sharing.

“I dunno, I just- I am really glad you came. That you’re here.” His voice had softened but his eyes held that gleam of a secret you’d thought was only a held back joke. But with the way he hadn’t really blinked or turned away made you wonder what he was really thinking. You hadn’t really seen this look from him before, let alone knew what it meant. But when you realized you’d nearly been holding your breath you figured it was time to lay off the booze.

Luckily as you sucked in some air and liquor, the room was clamoring with a new energy. A big biker man, dressed in a vest and dirty jeans, found his way to the microphone.

“Yall, listen up!” He boomed, brows risen, grey hair dripping wet. “It’s pouring rain, and the bridge is fucked.”

You hadn’t even heard the weather inside the good pub on the far side of town. Not over the music. Not over Eddie. But now all you heard was the chatter among patrons as the big biker guy went on telling his story.

“We were crossing when we watched lightning hit. It’s mostly burnt up but between the wind and everything a couple of those loose panels fell right to the river. The police have it blocked off now. We're just trying to go around and warn everyone. There's no other way back to the other side of town tonight."

The crowd that had once cheered and clapped along to tonight's music were now worrying over tonight's news. People shouted about their jobs in the morning, how they'd get home to their kids tonight.There was only one hotel on this side of town.

"You guys can stay at mine. My air mattress is still shit but," Eddie said.

"It's better than nothing." Steve shrugged. Nancy nodded. You felt your stomach open wide. Eddie wasn’t looking at you anymore.

///

The car ride to Eddie’s was quiet. Steve and Nancy both lulled in the front half of the car on the three minute drive that felt like three hours. Eddie was pulling into the lot of his trailer as Steve turned the engine off to his car. On the steps to the front door, in the steady rain, Eddie held his finger to his lips. "Don't wake up my uncle."

And once you’d found shelter in the low lit home, the rain had turned into a full blown storm.

Lightning crashed three times, each strike closer than the last. Though inside, the home was deafeningly quiet. Eddie was quick to rifle through his drawers, finding old shorts and shirts for everyone to wear for the evening. Too small for Steve. Too big on you. You took a shower. You dared not think. You laughed as Nancy brushed her teeth and waited to trade spaces with you, glad for her company here. But when it was her turn to clean up and you were faced with finding your way down the hall, it was hard not to think.

"You can take my room, I can sleep on the couch." Eddie stopped you, turning the corner as if he’d been waiting to meet you on the spot. Over his shoulder you saw Steve setting up a halfway deflated air mattress beyond the coffee table. And then there was Eddie, with a quiet suggestion, as if to make up for something, as if he needed too. You watched the guy bring a hand around the back of his neck, his eyes fixated on yours with some kind of wonder.

"Don't worry about that." You assured as soundly as possible, equally as quiet as not to alert anyone else to this trade in words. You left it at that, nodding as you spun toward the living area.

Steve and Nancy became well adjusted on the broken down air mattress, a billion blankets on top to soften the sinking, eyes closed. They'd had plenty to drink, too. On the sofa, a green muslin blanket you recognized, and a pillow for one. You flicked the lights off, and settled on the furniture, trying to ignore the rattle of rain at the window above your makeshift bed.

You tried with all your might to keep your mind empty of thought. Your body numb to feeling. But the wind grew more wicked, and the lightning flashed your eyes to open. And the green muslin blanket felt tangled like a trap around you.

You hadn't expected the weather to jar you so bad. Storms like this always used too. But since California you'd forgotten how bad the storms could get here.

And despite your might, you started to remember the last time. You remembered this blanket and the scratch of this sofa below you. And the smoke from Eddie's room. And the pelting of the rain. How it was so similar. And how you hated that. Being confronted by memories like that. Not that you couldn't face them. But just the way scenarios would pop up at any present moment and transport you back in time, back in feeling. Back.

///

The courthouse floor was cold and hard. There were officers chattering to each other and pointing in your direction. You were too old for this.

"Hey guys, I'll let her crash at mine tonight. I'll bring her back in the morning for the paperwork and shit." Wayne Munson sauntered toward the officers, talking about you. Keeping his gestures to himself. You couldn't be sure where he came from.

"No need to find one of those lists of families for a night or two right?" Wayne shot the cops a knowing glance and changed his gate toward you, holding out a hand for you to grab. He helped you stand from the floor and said you were stopping for fast food on the way home.

"You really didn't have to do this." You shrugged toward Wayne, unsure how to thank him. Unsure how to deal with the rest of your feelings entirely.

"Yeah well, I know how it goes. Less paperwork for them. Less stress on you."

Even though he lived on the far end of town. Even though this wasn't the usual process. Even though you were too old for all of this. It was different, being rescued from your home life as a child. You were helpless. You needed cared for.

Now, just near graduation, you felt embarrassment in place of stress. Now, at this age, you felt unwelcome in place of unsure. Wayne was too nice. He went too far out of his way.

He set you up on the couch and knocked on Eddies door, saying something about having company. And that was it. You all ate your fast food at the kitchen table between talk about the rain getting heavy. Then it was off to everyone's separate quarters. No one asked you what happened this time. No one asked if you were okay. They just gave you a couple blankets and a some food and let you alone as the trailer started to shake from the wind outside. You were too old to be rescued. And you were too old to be so nervous about the weather. But there you were, choking back tears of anger and anxiety as you thought of your mother's recent rampage and felt the thunder rattled your nerves. Eventually, you fell asleep for an hour or two. And Eventually, Eddie crept out. He said he couldn’t sleep. He offered you a joint and put on a Kubrick film and sat on the opposite end of the sofa watching along until Wayne took you back in the morning.

But upon arrival, the police let you know you were to be removed from your home indefinitely. Wayne stayed there with you trying to make sense of the law being enforced and the timelines of everything.

"Just put her in jail like last time. I'll stay with my landlord. Like last time." You implored.

"Last time, she didn't assault you. This time is different. It's for your own good." The officers reasoned.

"What? So just because this is the first time she leaves a mark you guys act like it's something new? I'm not going into another one of those places you people think is so much safer." You were old enough to have self respect.

"Do you want to stay with us?" Wayne asked, really giving you a choice. And somehow, you knew even if there were a billion hoops to jump through, Wayne would make it happen. Even if all he had to offer was the couch, it came with a blanket. Even if Eddie was around, he'd share his weed.

"Sir, we can't-"

"I suggest you wait for her answer." Wayne held a hand out to the officer who tried to interrupt your thought process. Wayne was giving you a choice. Wayne was giving you a chance to speak for yourself. He'd fed you and housed you and didn't make a fuss.

"Yes." You admitted, feeling a nervous pit open in your gut at the thought of being placed anywhere else.

"Go wait in the truck. I'll work everything out."

As you sucked in a deep breath and hurried to do what Wayne said, you heard the officers argue that this wasn't how anything worked. Then you heard Wayne insist on finding a way to make it work, because there wasn't going to be another option for you.

He managed something. He never said what. You never asked. You stayed with Wayne and Eddie for two and a half weeks. There wasn't much discussed between the three of you. Eddie would share his weed. You would do some of his homework. Wayne would bring home dinner. He wouldn't make you go to school if you didn’t want. He did drive you to graduation, though. And he sat in the bleachers and waved when you walked across the stage.

Then one day, you figured you could just run for it. You could just bolt. You woke up that morning with the idea fully formed in your head, unsure of the time, but certain of the plan. And when you stretched from the sofa with purpose, you found Wayne alone at the table with a coffee mug in his grasp.

And somehow, it was like you knew exactly what he was about to say. It was the same feeling as finding a dime in the parking lot. There was that shine in Wayne’s eye that gave it away, still you waited for his voice to confirm. He watched you pull out a seat at the table. And when you sat down, he said...

"Your mother died."

That afternoon, you started getting everything ready. Your money. Your bus ticket. Wayne none the wiser, at work. Eddie off God knows where. You paced through their trailer with conflict guiding every footstep. Something in your spirit felt so unsettled. ‘That's just the voices telling you to run.' You thought. No, 'That's your wisdom imploring you to stay.' What could possibly be out there for you? You knew what games to play here. You knew how to survive. But was it so crazy to dream of finally living? She was finally really gone. And that was long awaited. It was also somehow, surprisingly, really scary.

A sickening sadness took a hold of you when the sun disappeared. For all you ever hoped life could be. And for all the ways it never was. A freezing fear sat you down in front of the nightly news, where you waited to make up your mind.

That's when Eddie came home, shrugging off his jacket and giving you a small acknowledgment. He ducked toward the hall then, like he was trying not to disturb you. Like this wasn't his very own home. It was probably best if you up and ran right then. But as you stood, your feet still stalled for the door. Your pace started up again, indecision and something else. An unexpected grief.

Your feet began to move again, but your mind tried to stall them. You had no business creeping toward the hall. You really shouldn't have been inching closer to Eddie's bedroom door. It was open, just barely, the glow from the television flickering. Smoke fluttering. You bit your tongue and felt your heart hammer through to your feet. Still, you moved closer, till your shoulder was nudging his door further open.

"Eddie?"

He was on his bed. Pointing his remote at the television, his eyes, so big and brown, looked up to focus on yours. Despite how timid you felt, something more desperate moved you to keep your eyes on his too. Eddie moved his gaze from yours, to the way you kept your arms wrapped tight around you. Then he looked back up to you again and nodded for you to come in.

But as you willed your feet to move they stayed heavy in place. And as you slacked your jaw to explain yourself, no words came through. All too suddenly, with the way he was looking at you, it felt so wrong to be in his space, to be in his life at all. And when the alarm in your nervous system dared you to turn and leave, your feet were still heavy against your will.

And then the wave came. There was no stopping it or slowing its rush. All you had time to do in preparation was duck your chin and curse as the tears rolled in.

Past your sniffles you heard Eddie get up and shuffle close. He reached to shut his bedroom door all the way with a click, and then he reached for you. Your gut reaction when his hands landed feather soft on your shoulders was to shrug them away, to put distance between your spiral and Eddie’s innocence. But he wouldn’t let you. He only drew you closer as your cries croaked harder. All of this was wrong. You should have never have been here, or anywhere. You shouldn’t have come into his room or his life or-

“What’s wrong?” Eddie wondered in the softest voice you’d ever heard him use. You could only cry harder- for all the anger and confusion that had been plaguing you all day. For how embarrassed you were right now. But instead of pushing you, Eddie just held you tighter, his fingers pressing your head against his chest, his arm snug around your middle. And he let you cry and cry for hours it really felt like.

When you could finally catch a half way proper breath and wiped the wetness from your face, you looked up to see Eddie’s own eyes welling too full to hide. “What’s wrong?” He implored more urgently, keeping his hands on the back of your arms. Your fingers couldn’t help the way they dug into the fabric of Eddie’s shirt. You were angry. You were sad. You just realized you were lonely. You were really fucking scared.

“I’m sorry.” You breathed, past the ache in your throat. Eddie was already shaking’s head like he knew your answer wasn’t going to be good enough. And you prepared yourself for his vexation, his lecture. But all Eddie said was “Come here.” And all Eddie did was move you to sit on his bed. He climbed in next to you and decidedly put on a movie. You let yourself sink into the pillows and the mess of blankets. You let Eddie sit up next to you running his fingers through your hair. You listened to Ron Howard’s voice crackle from the telly. You fell asleep.

Upon waking up, your slumber felt like more of a blacking out. It was a shock to find yourself in Eddie's room, at his still sleeping side. And then you knew it was time. Your time was up. You eased from his bed with a fervor, slow in your hurry as not to wake him. You found what was yours, and the bus ticket from earlier. There was still time to catch it.

You left Eddie alone in bed, and a pile of finished history tests on his desk. You left a thank you note for Wayne. You fucking left.

///

You were not about to cry. The wind was rattling the trailer. And you laid on that same couch with the same damn blanket you used all that time ago. But you were not about to fucking cry. You shot up, stepping over the couple asleep at your feet. Fuck them for being so at peace.

The light under the kitchen sink flickered and buzzed as you cracked each cabinet door in search of a glass. When you found one you filled it with water and leaned against the counter, ignoring the shake of the trailer.

"You either huh?"

Eddie’s voice through the shadows made you jump and spin in place, trying to muffle a gasp. You were quick to give him a small glare when the long haired guy let out a dry chuckle at your alarm. Then he reached in the fridge for a drink in a to-go cup.

"I was just lighting up.” Eddie explained, “I'd bring one out for you but Wayne has banned it from the living room. I fucked up the couch cushions." Eddie made a funny little wince. You started to grin despite everything.

Then the lightning started again, striking too close for comfort, causing you to flinch despite yourself.

"Yeah, okay, let's go."

Eddie breathed another laugh and gestured for you to take the lead.

His room was an organized disaster. Records kept in a neat enough clutter, his guitar hung with care. Playboys scattered on a makeshift desk. Clothes and comics and guitar picks loose in every direction, yet the disarray was comforting. He lived here. He had things to mull through. He had a space to make his own. You dreamed of making enough money to spend wisely enough on posters and quilts and things.

"I think Jaws is just starting." Eddie shrugged as he clicked his bedroom door shut, finding the remote on his bed and turning up the television volume as he sat. You were slow to assess just how exactly to place yourself, not too far back on the bed, not to close.

Eddie was busy filtering through his night stand to find a little cigar box of treasures. You knew it was going to be the same old box before he even pulled it from the drawer.

"How much do I owe you for this? Still the best dealer on this side of the county?" You chuckled.

"Nah, I stopped all that. Got too crazy." Eddie forced a small laugh, finding some already rolled joints, picking one before resting the box on his nightstand.

"Oh..." You hummed. As he worked to light it, the wind outside slowed, and a cat came out from underneath the bed, squeaking a hello when it noticed you. The grey little thing hopped right up in your lap, a pet you didn't recall.

"That's Roxy, we found her a few months ago in our trash bin." Eddie reached over to scratch the cat's ear, taking a long hit.

You laughed, and held the thing happily as you sat, her purrs doing a magnificent number on your psyche. What an unexpected delight.

Eddie passed the joint to you, and moved again, adjusting the space. He tossed some pillows to the wall behind you and laid back against his own. The room wasn’t necessarily quiet. The television buzzed with noise from the film. The windows rattled from the rain. Your heart beat in your ears. And the cat in your lap purred with each pet.

When Roxy jumped from your lap as you decidedly laid back, quiet somehow set in while Jaws unfolded. And you were almost smacked with a wave of nostalgia, the smell of Eddie's room, the way his arm flexed when he passed his joint to you. You didn’t know if it was okay to feel. You didn’t know if anything was particularly okay to say. And then Eddie just came right out with it.

"She died right? That night?"

"She died that night." You slowly nodded. This was the part you hated. The sad looks. The long faces. Eddie began to nod. You braced, for the sorry or the whatever. But he only nodded before passing you the joint again.

You took a big hit and accepted Roxy back at your side.

Maybe you didn't have to be so weary of Eddies knowing you. Maybe, in some ways, it was better that he did.

"And... yours?" You gained some supermassive balls to boldly ask. Maybe it was the weed. Or maybe it was the way he hadn't coddled you.

"Oh, who knows." Eddie spoke, plain, eyes fixed on the boat on the telly. The trailer started to rumble with thunder again.

"Sometimes I wish my mom was dead. Not like cause I'm evil or whatever. Just.... the finality. The not having to worry if she will or won't show. Or see her. Or deal."

"Yeah. I gotta say. One of the best things that ever happened to me." You lulled your head in Eddie's direction, passing the joint back. "Not to brag." You drew out your words in an effort to get a smile out of the guy. In an effort to lighten the heavy subject matter.

"I thought she was dead for so long." Eddie seemed to recall something with a low chuckle, eye brows raising with realization. "I just remembered something so fucked up. Listen to this shit. I don't think I've ever told anyone this,"

"Oh, God okay."

"One summer I found a Ouija board in the closet, right between Scrabble and Sorry. I had seen other kids messing around with these things at the skate park but had never really tried it till this night. I was maybe ten?" Eddie shrugged, taking a hit before rambling on. "So I waited until late, I thought it had to be dark I guess. And I tried to find out if my ma was dead. No one ever dared tell me where she went or what happened so what else was I supposed to think ya know? Well anyway the board starts answering all my questions and I swore it was my dead mother like I just swore."

"Jesus that's dark, Munson." You let out a small huff of a laugh, taking the joint again as he raised a finger and warned you the story got worse. "I ended up asking if she'd ever come back home. I don't know what I was thinking the answer to that kind of question would be. But the arrow thingy didn't move. So I decided to chalk the whole thing up to death, she couldn't come back and I just wanted that to be my closure ya know?"

"Okaaaay." You nodded, realizing there was more.

"Guess who knocked on my door the next day."

"You're fucking with me."

"Wayne wasn't home. And she was the most strung out I'd ever seen her. And I don't think I really understood that drugs could have that effect on people. I was too young. I honestly believed I brought her back from the dead."

"Holy shit Eddie."

"I slammed the door in her face because I thought she was a zombie. And the worst part was she started pounding to be let in cause she needed money or something. She didn't seem to have anything to say to me, her son."

"Yeah, that'll do it every time." You shrugged. "I remember realizing that the first time and being so hard on myself for being sad. Like I always knew she didn't care. But it's just hard for a child to depend on a parent that... isn't one."

"What was your realization?"

"Oh, same age probably, give or take? She passed out on the floor, and I was trying to wake her up. Shaking her shoulders, pulling her clothes. I think I set off the smoke alarm? Not sure what I thought would happen." You chuckled despite the topic. "She was out forever, we ran out of something or the other. And by the time she woke up I started to ask her for all kinds of stuff. And she was saying 'I need you more than you need me.' and praying to Jesus and grabbing at me. And her eyes were black. Just screaming, ‘God, please!’ And I remember being finally old enough to figure something out about everything. And I said 'I'm not God. I'm your daughter. You're supposed to take care of me.’

"Profound as fuck for a little girl."

"That's why I did your homework." You quipped. "Anyway that was the first night I remember the police being called. My head hit the ground so hard the downstairs neighbors woke up. And I learned it didn't matter if I was right or hungry or anything, I couldn't express that to her."

"And you scored us both consistent B+ despite getting your shit rocked."

"That's damn right." You grinned passed the smoke you exhaled. It was easy to talk about all this shit with Eddie. He wasn't criticizing you or her. He wasn't horrified. He just got it. He just understood that these were no more than stories of the past and no longer circumstances of the present. Eddie finished the joint and asked if you wanted another. The tension you'd been feeling in his presence had seemed to fizzle away as you shared his weed and some truly fucked up stories.

"You're so fuckin’ funny man." Eddie chuckled. You rolled your eyes. "For real. You always have been. I remember in third grade you did that poster board about the jungle. You had a cassette of like birds or some shit too. You had everyone cracking up."

"You remember that?" You raised your brows in surprise. You'd nearly forgotten yourself.

"'Course I do, it was one of the most iconic moments in elementary school history."

It was nice to hear his only memories of you weren't hiding from life together in the city park tree house.

"Awe E.T. is on next." You pointed to his television.

"Talk about childhood trauma. If that thing was in my closet..."

"No, he's just a baby alien!"

"His head is too big man." Eddie joked but you could tell he was kind of serious too. Thunder cracked again and you tensed at the jolt, letting out a sigh of annoyance.

"Guess I'm one to talk,"

"Yeah, sorry you're trapped in this tin box tonight."

Just then the power shut off as the storm raged, rocking the home, sending your nerves into a tail spin despite the weed.

"Oh shit." Eddie rose from his slouch, mentioning something about a breaker and you sitting tight.

Roxy climbed from your side to your lap as you closed your eyes to the lightning, feeling pissed that this was the fear you clung to after all the trauma you endured. It made you feel like such a baby.

You were not about to fucking cry. There was no way. Not in Eddie's room. You clung to his cat and focused on breathing and nothing more. Not your dumb ass past. Not your weird ass present. And not the future. Just the cat and your deep breaths. After what felt like forever you realized you should probably get the fuck out of Eddie's room, let him come back and rest. Just as you coaxed Roxy from your lap to the pillows, he was back with a candle.

"Yeah, it's not gonna happen. I'm so sorry, I know the movies were helping."

You'd just been so at ease, so okay with talking to Eddie. So alright with the questions he asked. But then, as he sat, he gave you that look again. The one where his eyes burned into yours, like he saw everything you kept hidden away. And it made your chest burn with shame.

"Yeah, the weed too. You've been extremely generous. I should go back to the couch." Trying to hold onto your thanks for his kindness while failing at letting your own newly bloomed frustration take over.

"Are you gonna just sit in there awake and all scared? Cause that's depressing."

"So what's it to you, will my very silent worry to myself keep you awake in here?"

"Yes. Stay for one more joint? See if the storm passes so at least you can sleep?"

"Why are you being so incredibly fucking kind to me Eddie? Afraid I'm gonna run away again?" You joked, it was the only coping mechanism set in place in your mind that kept any other panic at bay.

"Maybe it's not about you at all. Maybe now I'm freaked out about E.T now, and I don't really want you to go. Ever think of anyone besides yourself?" The guy scoffed out a chuckle and decidedly passed you another joint. He made you laugh. And you weren't about to turn his offer away.

For another hour or so, you stayed sitting up with Eddie. While the power stayed out, your laughter rang too loud. He’d reminded you of the time the bus driver had forgotten the pair of you fell asleep in the back and you’d both woken up in some bus barn on the east side of town. You remembered the night Wayne tried to make a nice dinner but ended up almost burning the kitchen down. And eventually you both fell asleep.

You only woke up when the power buzzed back to life; the light and noise from the television and the heat from the vent blasting you into consciousness. There was no sound of wind or crash of rain. There was just the buzz of the room, just the feeling of Eddie shifting sleepily at your side. Close enough to feel his breath against the back of your neck, his legs brushed against yours. You were too exhausted to be bothered by the etiquette of sleeping beside Eddie. You were exhausted enough to feel comforted by his company. Just as your eyes grew heavy once more and your mind started to numb, the storm blasted back with vengeance. The thunder was the loudest you'd ever heard, the lightning that went alongside it was so bright it may as well have been in the damn room.

You tensed with shock, cursing a whisper, feeling Eddie stir at your side. He hummed something as he began to readjust from waking.

"S'okay." His voice was a sleepy grumble. His arm lazily slinked over your side. If your heart rate hadn't already been enhanced by the weather, Eddie's closeness would have had you spiraling. But the weight of his arm was oddly grounding. And the steady rise and fall of his chest against your back was a nice distraction. You started to fall asleep there, despite everything.

///

Roxy was curled up at your head. A new blanket was draped across you. The room was otherwise empty and quiet. You sat up all of a sudden, realizing you were still in Eddie's room, listening for the others from beyond the crack in the closed door.

When you couldn't hear anything, you got up. The sun was bright in the hall, there was some clatter from the kitchen. The living room was empty of blankets and pillows. Only Eddie stood near the sink, fiddling with the coffee machine. He must've heard you walking closer, as he turned with two mugs in hand.

"Steve and Nancy left way earlier. I think the bridge is fixed. But she missed her opening shift. So we all know Murray is gonna be like a tyrant later." Eddie explained, resting the mugs on the table. He gestured to one, looking at you as if to suggest it was for you.

"Oh God, why didn't they wake me up to go? I'm so sorry I'm just like, stuck here now." You worried, crossing your arms over your chest and trying not to think too hard about how Eddie had kept a loose hold on you most of the evening.

"You really need to chill out, I can take you back." The long haired boy waved again at the spot at the table with a steaming mug meant for you. You decidedly crept closer, glad for the drink. "I'm closing. Even if I wasn't, please stop acting like I'm... like, doing shit for you. Friends don't freak out. Friends say thank you."

"Well, thanks, then... I guess." You sat in mild shock, trying to shake the memory of last night. Trying not to find meaning in it.

"I'll take it. Needs some work though." Eddie shrugged. He mentioned something about having cereal, and asked if you wanted to stop somewhere on the way for lunch instead. The clock on the wall read past noon. You really were up late, huh?

As Eddie sat and debated how hungry you each were between sips of coffee, the front door clattered open. And before anyone made an entrance, you already knew who to expect.

Wayne eased into the home, looking down as he kicked the front door shut. But when the man looked up and saw you at the kitchen table, he stopped dead in his tracks. You looked to Wayne as he stood staring right at you, his eyes growing wide, his smile too.

"What?" Wayne chuckled a laugh, dropping his jacket and keys near the door, holding out his arms. You'd be a fool not to stand and hug the guy. Wayne's embrace was warm and meaningful. And long. And you let it be, feeling your throat grow tight.

"You're back." He warbled in your ear.

"Yeah." You said, decidedly hugging the guy back with a little more gusto. You hadn't expected anyone to be so happy to see you. It was nice. When Wayne pulled away his eyes were brimmed with tears he quickly ducked his head to sniff away.

"I'm just glad you're both..." Wayne paused with a look between you and his nephew. "What a nice surprise." Eddie's uncle shook his head, daring a sniffle. He explained he was only here for a quick stop on his lunch hour. He wanted to know how long you planned to hang around.

"Oh, don't worry. I've got a place on the other side of town. I'm just visiting." You hesitated near the end of your sentence, realizing you'd still been sporting one of Eddie's old t-shirts and boxers.

"A place? How long have you been back?" Wayne boggled, shifting his weight near the kitchen counter, shifting his puzzled expression from you to his nephew. "You didn't think to tell me?"

"It wasn't up to me was it," Eddie bantered back.

"I haven't exactly been ready to face it all yet, I hope there are no hard feelings." You waved, shushing Eddie and reaching out for Wayne once more. Your hand found his forearm. He'd been so kind to you. He'd been a life saver. He was trying not to cry again.

"Well, don't be a stranger. Got it?" Wayne was in a sudden hurry, moving away from his shock and toward the fridge. He reached in for a paper bag and said some goodbyes. "I'm late to work." He'd only just got here, but Wayne grabbed his jacket and keys and was gone just like that. You looked to Eddie with a few various questions in your gaze.

"I had an... incident a year ago. Left town for a while, too. He was pretty shaken up. I'm sorry if he-"

"No it was really sweet." You nodded, sitting back at the table.

"I just... didn't expect anyone to miss me."

Eddie nodded as if not only could he understand, but relate. You didn’t want to press about what happened to him. But maybe if you rose a brow, he could read the expression. And he’d spill. Hoping he knew you were ready to listen if he was ready to tell. But your coffee was shared in silence as you traded looks and bitten back expressions.

That afternoon Eddie came into your apartment while you cleaned up, and waited to give you a ride to work. It was still pouring rain, so you had to oblige. If only that idiot valley dude hadn't stolen your car. He complimented how nice you’d made the space with the very little you had. A bed, a couch, and a box of movies next to your telly. You mentioned not being able to afford a VCR yet. Or a stand to display them on. But you were saving up a lot quickly.

“It’ll be no time until my space is as cluttered as yours!” You joked from beyond the hall, hurrying into your server apron.

“Shut up!” Eddie called from way beyond.

///

Work was already hectic as the pair of you hurried in. Late by your standard. Early by Eddies. One minute behind. He already had tables waiting, unwilling to be served by any other staff.

"Eddie said you guys didn't sleep very much, so what's all that code for then huh?" Nancy pranced up, excitedly prodded you with whispers and pokes. You waved her away as you shoved your stuff into a locker.

"It wasn't like that at all, Nancy. We just watched movies." You reported sternly, through gritted teeth. "And smoked way too much."

No one knew about before. You barely went to school when you stayed with Wayne. Nancy wouldn't have a clue about how things were with you and Eddie, or the fact there was a before with him.

She fawned away toward the server line with a sly grin. And you didn't bother trying to change whatever she was thinking. Steve popped around then, reading his girlfriend's expression with ease. That prompted the guy to address you, in return.

"It's the way of the restaurant." Steve joked, sauntering in to lean against the counter, ready to clock in. "You too, one day, will have a fated coworker romance."

"No offense yall but I do not want one." You laughed. "I love love as much as the next guy, but I've always sworn off the whole coworker idea."

"Awe but what if there was real potential for something with one of them?" Nancy tried to remain indifferent in her reference, but she really wasn't.

"I just don't assume there would be. This is such a fast paced environment. A job most people use for transition. I can't imagine I'd find anyone serious in a place like this. No offense, really. You two seem stable. I just... yeah."

"I get it." Nancy shrugged. "There are plenty of people who've never hooked up here. You're not fated to become a stereotype." Nancy spoke as if to apologize,

"Like who?" You wondered, fully inclined to the gossip of the conversation now.

"Brooke, the host. A food runner from a few years ago. And... Eddie. But I've never seen him date anyone." Nancy started fumbling with the coffee machine then, looking for something to do as she spoke

"Oh, wait what? Didn't he have a high school girlfriend?" You pushed your brows together.

"Yeah, but that was high school." Nancy flipped her hand out as if to prove a point.

"Hey!" Steve whined. You chuckled.

"Steve Harrington you can't tell me you took our high school relationship as seriously as our adult relationship." Nancy crossed her arms. A couple younger servers started trickling in, tossing bags in lockers and tying their hair back.

"I haven't seen him date anyone in years." Nancy went on. "There have been plenty of girls here who tried to ask him out but he always lets em down easy." She seemed to glance at a couple of the servers standing along the aisle now, suggesting they were the workers in question. And then Nancy seemed to consider something more, casting a befuddled glance to the floor before looking back up to you and Steve.

"Do you think he's like... asexual? Or-"

"Eddie definitely likes girls." Steve held out a hand to stop Nancy's thought process in its tracks. "He's been in love with Carrie Fisher forever. And he has, like, stacks of Playboy magazines in his room."

Nancy rolled her eyes as some of the girls who'd been eavesdropping let their giggles slip.

"That's true. I saw them." You shrugged, just as a host popped her head around the corner to announce she'd sat a table in your section. The girls who'd been listening stopped their giggles and Nancy gave you a look you couldn't quite read and didn't have time to read into as you shouldered out into the dining room.

///

A few nights later you’d found yourself in the pub afterwork, the one with the jukebox and relaxed bartenders. Your coworkers were throwing a birthday party for Johnathan, buying him endless rounds of liquor and giving him small gifts in between drinks.

Everyone was together. Everything was looking up. You had enough money to blow on getting drunk. You had enough courage to dare Nancy to a game of darts. She won the first two rounds. And then there was Eddie at the bar top, sharing his beers with you. Asking if you wanted to go to the movie theater in town next week. Challenging Steve to slam back shots. Laughing with everyone about Murray.

It was all a very jolly affair. And on a break in the loo you caught yourself realizing you’d only ever once hoped life could be this fun. Now it was actually happening. You rounded the hall and tried to ignore the way you’d accidentally dampened your sleeves while washing your hands. Tonight was too good to be bothered. But that's when someone submerged from the shadows, bringing everything dark into the light. That guy she dated. She brought him home everyday for seven months and ten days… you’d counted. His teeth were still stained yellow and his greasy hair made you grimace. He flashed his plaque riddled smile your way and let a low hum stop you from going any further. And then he said,

“Ya look just like your mother.”

And he smiled more sinister. And it was the worst thing you could have ever heard. And your heart burned and your stomach churned and your feet started stomping away so hard your knees hurt.

And before you knew what you were doing, you were gone. You were escaping into the chilly evening, stomping seven blocks home. You left Nancy at the dart board and Eddie at the bar. There was no time, or reason to explain it to anyone. You didn't even wanna get into it with yourself. You just had to go.

You found your feet blistered when you peeled your socks away. You found you’d forgotten to buy enough food to make a proper dinner. You found yourself alone in the same old building with the same old problems only now they were all your own fault and not anyone else's. And you sat alone in the deafening void of silence realizing you were going to have to work even harder than you thought, to be better. To get comfortable living. To get good at making adult check lists and going out with friends and accepting reality, and not running away. You sat realizing you were going to have to work harder and resented the fact that it had all been left up to you.

Then there was a banging on your door that cut fiercely through your spiral into total depression. You sprung to stand and rushed to open the entry and cease the commotion.

Eddie looked mad. And before you could even assess the tension in his leather clad shoulders, he was stepping into your home and asking what the hell was wrong with you.

"You can't just disappear like that without telling someone! Nancy heard sirens and was convinced you got hit by a car or something."

"I'm fine. There's no reason to make a big deal out of it." You shrugged, trying not to look too pissed at his inquisition. But failing to hide your disgruntled brow, tucking your arms together, ready for this interaction to end.

"Okay so what happened, what's wrong?" Eddie quizzed, gesturing toward you as he decidedly swung your front door closed.

"Nothing! I just wasn't feeling it okay? You can go back, tell everyone I'm alive or whatever." You struggled not to sound curt, and struggled to face the long haired man fully.

"Okay... well the fact that you're being so pissy makes me feel like something is definitely wrong." He took a couple steps closer as you took one back.

"So what if it is Eddie? I don’t need your help or your check in’s or whatever, I'm fine."

"Sorry I fucking care about you?" Eddie said but asked like a question, as if to wonder if he had anything to be sorry for. And he really didn’t. You watched from the corner of your eye as he shifted his weight near the entry of your apartment.

"Yeah me too, it's a waste of your time.”

Eddie made a face, scrunched his brows together, shaking his head, turning as if to leave. But then he stopped and pointed right at you.

"If you've had such a problem with me for so long then I deserve at least to know what the fuck my problem is, don't I?"

"There's no problem with you, Eddie. I'm the problem, obviously! I left for a reason!” You didn't exactly yell. But you let your words pour forth with vigor.

"Well, I wish I had even the slightest inkling of a clue of what you're talking about. Because you’ve never been a problem to me! I wish you’d just fucking tell me what goes through your head sometimes! And I guess that's my problem. I’m stupidly and constantly desperate to figure out what is going on with you. Trying to figure out what happened. Way beyond tonight." Eddie matched your tone and let his speech shoot right through your heart.

"Sometimes- I guess… I don't." You stammered, undecided on which issue to bring to light, or how to express everything in a nice little packaged sentence. In a sure way that didn’t make your voice tremble with grief and defeat. But it wasn’t working

"No, don't cry. I didn't mean to make you cry. I'm sorry, please-" Eddie spoke your name as you turned to hide the fall of tears and the sniffles that failed to stop your sadness. This time your tears were hot and full. This time you managed to choke back sobs and blink until the world looked less blurry.

"You didn't make me cry. I'm just sad Eddie."

And that was maybe the most honest and vulnerable you’d ever been.

Eddie hesitated once he’d stepped close enough to reach for you. You did a good enough job sucking down your emotion to turn toward him almost all the way. But you were still too vulnerable to let your arms fall from your sides. And you were still too vulnerable to meet his eye.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed you. I was just... concerned. You don't have to tell me shit. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I'm sorry I took it too far."

You wanted to reach out and fling your arms around his neck and fall to pieces in his arms, like that one night. But one night was already too much. He didn’t deserve to put up with your bullshit, not like that. And you knew he would. Not just because he had before, but because you knew he really was just that good of a person. And you let knowing that fact be enough for you to force the world's smallest smile.

"Im sorry too. Thanks for caring. I'm sorry."

Eddie reached out then, letting his fingers trace down your arm until his hand was incircling your own. He silently held your hand in his for a moment, long enough for you to send your gaze straight into his. Long enough for you to recognize the hints of amber in his deep brown eyes. And as he watched you watching him he seemed to make a decision.

Eddie kept a hold of your hand as he moved toward your sofa. He gestured for you to sit, and you did. He grabbed your remote and turned on your television and settled at your side as some Hitchcock film played.

"Shouldn't you go back?" You asked him. Apparently all your friends were at the pub anxiously awaiting the news of your fate, and now probably Eddie’s too.

But the guy at your side just shook his head. He settled deeper into the sofa, his knees knocking against yours. His head threatening to land on your shoulder. And it was just like that one night all over again. The overwhelming sense of wanting- needing Eddie’s comfort. No one else's would’ve ever sufficed. And for once without spinning into a spiral of wondering if and why and how, you just curled up. You just brought your knees to your chest and eased into his side. Your head fell in his lap. His arm landed around the back of you. His opposite set of fingers carded through your hair. You didn’t need to look to realize neither of you were really watching whatever movie was on.

And you could’ve stayed just like that, quiet together. But after forever your legs were begging to stretch and your eyes were begging for a real night's slumber.

"It's late.” You sighed, reluctant to find yourself out of Eddie’s hold. “But, you can stay if you want. I have some old clothes." The words just came out of your mouth. You hadn’t even thought them before they were declared.

Eddie agreed without hesitation.

He cleaned up in your bathroom, while you called Nancy to apologize. You made up some blankets on the sofa and wished Eddie sweet dreams after he thanked you for the accommodations.

As you took your turn settling into the night, rain started pounding down. Damn Indiana spring. But it was just rain for a while. It was just rain as you eased into your bed. Nothing could keep your eyes from drifting shut once your head hit the pillow. But you must not’ve been asleep long when you shot up with the sound of thunder. At first the weather was all you knew, stirring you. But as you laid back and worked on easing your heart rate, something more electric buzzed inside you.

You tossed and turned a dozen times, trying to shake the restlessness. But it was no use. You had to get up. Something deeper in you than you knew was there urged you from the room. You crept into the kitchen, eyes still adjusting to the darkened halls. When you finally turned the corner, you noticed your guest had found refuge in the low lit kitchen as well.

"Deja Vu." You pointed, watching Eddie shrug, the dim nightlight from the corner illuminating his wild curls and curves of his figure. "Can't sleep?"

"It's been quiet. I've been out here. Thinking of you, in there."

"Well... now I'm out here." You're not sure if you're ready to fall into his arms or shove him away. You're not sure which would end up hurting less. You were plagued all at once with clear realization that you'd always been drawn to Eddie. Always liked him. Always wondered what he'd ever thought of you. And it was too confusing to unpack all at once, too overwhelming to realize how you'd felt before was how you felt now.

There was never time before, in your life, to think of anything more than getting through one day to the next. No time to worry about school dances or birthday presents or boys. But now that Eddie was leaning against the opposite kitchen counter, looming close enough to see his eyes through the shadows, you couldn't think of anything more than how beautiful they really were, and how you'd always thought so.

Then he hung his head low, as if defeated. You watched and waited to ask what the matter was in case he’d come right out and say it. You knew what it was like to not be ready to say something. And just when you wondered if he was going to stay quiet forever, Eddie lifted his head of dark curls and pierced his eyes right into yours and struggled out a whispered question.

“Why’d you leave me?”

You always knew this was coming in a way. This intervention. The quiz of where you disappeared to after everything. But it was the last word of his question that shot your heart through the floor. You hadn’t realized you left him behind.

“I always thought you’d be one of the ones who stuck around, like Wayne. And I didn’t even wanna talk about any of it, I just wanted us to have breakfast but-” Eddie poured fourth willingly but it looked as though every word bruised him on their way out’ve his mouth. “I woke up and you were gone.”

Every implication was a knife to your core. You knew he hadn’t meant to say this to hurt you. But it did. You realized you’d acted no better than the people who’d caused you both irreparable devastation.

“Eddie, I'm so sorry.” You tried to express every ounce of guilt right there in the low night light.

“I know it’s not even about me, but I… I wanted there to be something about me, for you.” He was struggling to hide his emotion but blinked enough to calm the wave before it took him under, it seemed.

“The thing is, I think I’m just now realizing there always was. Please don’t think I’m just saying so either. I think… that's why I got up and came in here in the first place. For you.”

He watched you, maybe for what else you might say. He watched you make a decision.

You may have taken your subconscious consideration too far. Before you had control over your mind or movements, you realized you were moving close enough to kiss him. You realized his breath fanned over your lips before you couldn't wonder any longer. And just as soon as the gap closed between yourself and Eddie, you placed a hand on his chest to enforce a sudden distance.

"Wait,"

"You kissed me-"

"I didn't think- I uh don't know if you-" You breathed in a hurry, unsure if you should apologize or do it again. Eddie looked just as shocked as you felt. But he wasn't pulling away. He wasn't telling you how crazy you were. He was looking between your bewildered eye and your lips that were just on his.

And then it was more mutual. You and Eddie met in the middle. One of his hands crept along your shoulder until his fingers curled around your neck. One of your palms stayed on his chest where you felt his heart start to hammer almost as fast as yours started to go. His lips pressed against yours with fervor and you nearly couldn't stop yourself from clinging to the man like a lifeline. And that freaked you out even more than you'd already been. Your breath caught in your throat and your chin ducked and the kiss ended.

Eddie slid his hand away and turned to create a little more space between the two of you. He seemed to be waiting for some kind of announcement from you. Some kind of score or a decision.

"I'm so confused. I don't know... if I know what to say more than I already have. I want to..." You huffed, letting bravery lift your eyes to meet Eddies. His dark pair were waiting to search yours, as he shifted his weight away from you further. You watched the guy give a small nod, in agreement or understanding you didn't know. But you watched his mind whir behind his eyes. You watched his figure shift in the shadows. You didn't know how to feel. But you were feeling something for certain.

"What if..." Eddie began to consider, letting his eyes really gleam into your own. "We didn't say anything?"

And that was enough for the both of you. The gap was closed again. His mouth opened against yours. Your fingers reached to yank Eddie closer and dug into his shoulders to keep him there. His palms guided your hips back against the counter before he let a hand glide along your thigh, daring to pull your knee to bend. The quiet of the evening remained, as echoes of your clamoring closer to each other filled the gaps.

You kissed Eddie with more ferocity as your arms slinked around his shoulders. Eddie kissed you back with as much force while he let his fingers ghost up and down your sides. There was no holding back now, and there seemed to be so much time to make up for. Not even just with Eddie, but for yourself. For the nights like these you'd missed out on all your life. For all of Eddie you missed out on before. There was a desperation to speed things along, and you were sure Eddie was on the same page.

When you let a hand slink down his chest, toward his stomach and land somewhere lower, Eddie wasted no time hooking a finger around your underwear, still hesitant at first to pull them aside. But your assured assistance in removing his seemed to be all the green light Eddie needed to move his kisses to your neck and his hips into yours.

Eddie pressed the heels of his hands onto the countertop, one of your legs was left draped over his forearm. Eddie had never been closer, his middle meeting yours, your arm snug around his neck as your bodies rolled together in the kitchen. Eddie's sighs in your ear made every thought leave your mind. One of his arms slinked across the middle of your back to assure security, as he rocked more fiercely into you every second. And every minute felt like an hour until eternity started to come to a devastating halt, when his hips stuttered. Eddie cursed as he finished and kept a steady hold on you for a moment, as if to stay grounded himself. And when he moved away and your mind almost started to whir with even more questions, Eddie looked to you with a glint still in his eye, and a shake of his head.

"No talking, remember." Eddie breathed, halting your open mouth from forming a word. In the next blink of your eye, his hands had found your hips again, keeping them pinned against the counter all the while. He fell to his knees and wasted no time giving you a turn at finding the finish line. He wasn't rushing his effort, he knew exactly how to move his mouth at your core. He knew just when to release his grasp to caress your skin. He didn't have to for long, but he knew just how long to wait- until your fingers untangled from his curls, until your breathing steadied.

Eddie pressed his forehead to your stomach in the quiet kitchen as you stood there reeling, brushing back the wild mane he'd always pulled off so well. Neither of you moved for a moment. But when Eddie stood, and when you both found the few of your missing clothes, the quiet still stayed. Without asking, you grabbed Eddie's hand. And without wondering, he let you guide him down the hall.

Neither of you spoke as you clamored into bed. Eddie simply pulled you closer, brushing his fingers through your hair as his eyes fluttered shut. He just held you there. And you didn't talk about it. Not even in the morning, when he woke up after you made coffee. You only traded chatter about the work week. And then he drove home.

///

You’d only been at work one hour, and you’d already met your goal. There was a car in a lot across town with your name on it, and you’d just made the last what you needed to afford it. The rest of the tips you’d make today would go to groceries and rent. Things were looking up.

By the time Nancy got there, you were all giggles and movie plans and coworker drama. Steve was out sick again. And Eddie was late.

But when the hour mark passed and no one had heard from him, you started to worry. Oh God. You hadn’t seen him since the morning after you crossed a line together. You knew things would be different but what if they were worse than you were ready to accept? What if Eddie was totally ashamed and regretful? And avoiding you? Had you read the tone of that night completely wrong?

By hour three you were convinced he was avoiding you and would forever, your chipper mood shifting quickly.

"Where is my refill?" A man in your section held his glass up high, shaking the left over ice in your face. From across the bar top you struggled not to roll your eyes in his direction. You usually let the bustle of this job take over your mind and odd worries. So what if you forgot to put in an order? You could fix it. So what if you got a shitty tip? You could pick up another table.

The way of the restaurant was a comfort to you, the way there was always a new drink to mix, a new face to greet. There was every chance to move on. To make up. But today, as you worried over Eddie, it was becoming increasingly hard to give a shit about your bar top's appetizers, or who would sit down next.

By hour four, your shift was ending and Eddie was still missing in action. Murray had tried to call his house. Dustin had tried to call a friend. Nothing.

Your worries had drifted from his anger to his death. He had to be bloody in a ditch somewhere. Why else would nobody be able to get ahold of him after a whole day had passed? You'd managed to keep these fears at bay in your mind for a while. Wearing the perfect poker face, letting the hot plates of pasta burn your fingers as a distraction.

But then you heard Dustin corner Nancy and ask “You don’t think this is like last time, with Eddie?” The girl was quick to calm the kid and you still didn’t even know what that meant. You had no idea where he went, or what happened while you were in California. You had no way of knowing if now was like last time. You had no way of knowing if the last time you did see Eddie had anything to do with this, or not. You were starting to feel sick with agitation. And Nancy noticed of course.

She asked if you were feeling well as you clocked out and hurried to grab your things from your locker.

“It was just a long shift. Gonna go crash now.” You feigned, rushing out as if rest was your mission. But you just knew you’d be safe at home to have a total fucking break down in isolation, if need be.

When you did make it home, the shower became your sanctuary until every ounce of hot water had gone. You tried not to let worry consume you. You tried to go about your evening. But as you eased onto the sofa and considered calling Eddie’s house, you felt sick again. If he answered you’d ask what was wrong. But what if you didn’t like his answer? If you called and he didn’t answer you weren’t sure you could handle not knowing why.

Then there was a knock.

Eddie was all of a sudden at your door, a cardboard box under his arm. Wearing a smile that was a relief to see.

“What the fuck? Where have you been? Dustin thinks you're dead! I don’t even want to hear it, get in here and call the boy before anything.”

Eddie clamored in, his grin faltering as you reprimanded him. He abandoned his mystery box on your coffee table and slumped toward the wall phone. He proceeded to call Dustin to apologize for causing worry, he explained he’d only been thinking of purposefully pissing Murray off, not showing. He said he made last minute plans. As he explained himself to the kid on the phone, Eddie looked at you, as if to extend his apologies. And when he hung up, you still had a million questions.

“Why was Dustin so distraught today? What happened to you before? What happened today?” You dared to quiz Eddie. You were calculated to keep your tone more inquisitive than demanding. If he wasn’t ready, he wasn’t ready.

“I’ll tell you about before one day, I really will. But there are more important things to uncover right now.”

You watched the glow come back into Eddie's gaze, his sorry having been dealt with. You watched as he moved to plop down on your sofa, before extending his arms toward the box on your coffee table. His grand gesture and his coy smile holding your full attention.

“Come open your present!” He made a face as if to suggest you hurry up about it.

“What is going on?” You let out a breath of a laugh, fully confounded by the events of the day. You’d been maybe just as upset as Dustin just hours ago, of course not daring to let it show. And now you were being presented a mystery box by the guy you couldn’t get a handle on. Oh God, you thought, was this how Eddie felt when you'd up and disappeared? Is that how bad of a person you'd been?

You shrugged away a shudder, and moved to sit at Eddie’s side. He watched you with his teeth dug into his bottom lip. You watched him from the corner of your eye as you ripped the tape from the top of the cardboard. Leaning forward to open the flaps, you reached into the box to feel something cold, grabbing the object to reveal it.

“It’s a VCR!” Eddie chimed, like he’d just received it happily himself. “You can’t just sit in here all quiet with a box full of movies and no way to watch them.”

“Eddie.”

“I know you’ve been saving, but I got a 200 dollar tip from that wedding reservation last week and, I already was planning on doing something nice for you. But the Radio Shack in town didn’t have any in stock so I had to go all the way over to Mooresville and I wasn’t even thinking of work today-”

You were sitting in mild shock, until the wave came. Your eyes sprang with tears and your arms flung themselves around Eddie’s shoulders. His sentence was halted as you threw your weight into the embrace. His arms were quick to incircle your figure, and your tears only lasted until they fell. All that either of you could seem to do was sit there in that hug for a while. There was so much you wanted to say all at once. But you hoped Eddie realized that you holding him so close for so long was getting your point across for now. You sort of thought he was communicating in the same way. With how his face nuzzled into the bend of your neck. With how his fingers pressed into you, to press you closer to him. It was just a VCR. But it wasn’t. It was everything.

“You’re the only person who’s ever really taken care of me.” You realized aloud in a stuttered breath. Suddenly everything that had become clear to you had to be said. Your arms came away from his shoulders. And you kept talking as you wiped the dampness from your eyes. “Wayne gave me clothes, food and security. The police would make sure I had shelter. But you’ve always given me time. And space. And comfort. And it used to scare me so bad.”

Eddie sat, watching you speak. Waiting to listen longer. Quirking his brow probably in wonder what you meant about that last thing…

“I left because I thought I was moving on from it all but I was just running away. ” You spoke meekly, shame and guilt at the understanding of your weakness felt all encompassing. But you hoped that the man you were speaking to would forgive you. “I always hated how you would look at me. Like you knew what I had been through. Like my life was a big dirty secret and you knew all about it. But I was just making that shit up in my own stupid head. The tension between us has always been about what we wanted to know more about each other. Not what happened to us. I’m so sorry I got it wrong until now, Eddie. I’m sorry I was never as good at taking care of you.”

You could feel tears threatening to bubble up again but you shook your head to rattle the emotion away. The release of honesty was good enough for now.

“You were.” Eddie implored, furrowing his brow as if he were angry he had to justify this. “You skipped the bus with me. You gave me time to just be a kid. Not to mention I probably wouldn’t have graduated without your intervention. And you never made fun of me for not understanding. You just helped. That’s why it hurt so bad to wake up and find you gone. That's why I…” Eddie paused his speech, like a word got stuck in his throat. He seemed frustrated that he couldn’t get it free.

"I wanna tell you so much more… but I’m scared too. Scared you won’t believe me, about where I went or why. Scared you’ll change your mind about me. So I think I understand where you’re coming from." His eyes drifted away from yours as his shame took a small spotlight. "The short answer is… I ran from my problems, just like you."

"Can't escape em." You shrugged, and couldn’t help but offer a small smile of understanding. Eddie was slow to turn his eyes back to you, letting his gaze rake up your frame before looking right into yours.

“We should really talk about… what happened the other night. Right?”

Somehow you were more nervous now than ever. If you said the wrong thing about what you'd done together, your devastation would be incomparable.

"I don't know. I moved back almost on a whim, in a way. And I wasn't expecting to see you. I don't know. I just..."

Eddie studied you, reaching a finger to move a strand of your hair.

“I can tell you how I feel. But not unless…”

“I know this may be selfish but… can we just have tonight without talking about everything? Can we just be together without anything to worry about? And in a day or two, we can figure out the very last of our shit. Can we?” You asked longingly like a kid in a store. Eddie seemed to smile without being able to help it. And then he nodded and got up from the sofa.

“We’re gonna watch some movies.”

Without asking Eddie set up the VCR he’d bought you. Without a word, Eddie helped you make a sensible dinner from the bits and bobs in your cupboards. Without talking about anything of note, the two of you settled back into the sofa with hot food to share and one of your favorite VHS’s playing. Things were really looking up.

///

“This place is way out of both of our budgets combined.”

“I’m wasting my credit card on us both tonight, you know this.” Nancy swatted, hurrying you along into the amber glow of some posh french eatery. The walls were made of marble and the drive here was two hours. Nancy needed a pretend vacation. She said a trip two towns over would do for now. And only girls were allowed.

You were seated near a window that overlooked the same river that flowed through your town and ran right through this one. You were offered the fanciest wines and let Nancy decide which bottle to buy. Nancy complained about Steve. Nancy said she knew her whining was annoying but that she was glad you sat and listened anyway. Then it was time to order. The waiter was suave, calling you each miss, shooting flirty smiles.

“He’s cute. You should leave your number on the receipt." Nancy winked. You knew she was half joking. But you also knew her incessant insistence that you find love was out of the fact that she just wanted to see you happy. And while your waiter was charming, there was really only one boy on your mind. In fact, there always had been.

After sipping your drink, you sat considering exactly how to put it.

“So, Eddie and I…”

“I KNEW IT.” Nancy nearly shouted loud enough to garner attention from nearby tables. With a regretful hand to her lip, she cast sorry eyes to the older couple closest and shot a grin back your way.

“You don’t know! In fact I’m about to tell you more than anyone has ever known!”

“I know enough! I know that I was right! And you and Eddie…” She spoke with the smallest shake of her head as if she were trying to decide how you might’ve finished the sentence you’d spoken just before. “What? Did he kiss you?”

“Well, he did a whole lot more than that.” You admitted lowly, sipping your wine to hide the blush that came along with your admission.

“Oh my G-” Nancy was almost yelling again, but she caught herself and raised a sorry hand to the couple still glaring your way. “Oh my God.” She whispered again.

“I feel scandalous having this conversation in this fancy ass restaurant."

“Oh, no, it’s even better. All the best old timey dramas have the juiciest scandals involved in those old castles and villas. Ya know, cause there were so many rules to break back then.”

And then you realized why you’d been so scared of honesty. Of asking for help. Of admitting your feelings. Those were all your own rules to be broken. You’d never been allowed such freedom or care. You’d never been given much at all. You’d broken a lot of rules this year. And it felt more than scandalous. It felt good.

So over posh dinner, you told Nancy everything. You told her how Eddie was always around. And how you hated it. And how you’d missed it when you were away but hadn’t even understood that to be true. How he was almost right here all along waiting for you. Then you got into the whole Wayne thing, and what happened the night you ran away. And then you told Nancy about the night Eddie slept over. And why he missed work.

“And now you know everything.”

“Well, not really!” Nancy guffawed. “Are you two official? What happens now?”

“I don’t know that much! So, you know everything.”

You and Eddie hadn’t talked about it the last night you saw him. You had to open at work the next morning. And he had to close. And tonight was dinner with Nancy. Tomorrow everyone worked together. And you hoped Eddie would ask to come over after. You hoped there was in fact more to figure out.

///

You were just ringing in an order when Eddie came full blown running in.

“This is not a drill!” He shouted, grabbing Dustin by the sleeve and pulling him along until the pair of them were face to face with you and Steve and Nancy.

"I have guests at the host stand, Edward!" Dustin shrieked a laugh as he went along with being dragged by the long haired server.

“It all happened so fast, we almost missed auditions," Eddie was rambling as the group of you stopped bickering with the cooks and gathered to listened. "But we made it. Battle of the bands, tomorrow night. The winner gets a free studio session and a residency at the fancy theater the rest of the year.”

Murray was breezing by just in time to hear the good news, or in his opinion, bad.

“And if you and this gaggle all take tomorrow off last minute, who do you expect to cover?” Murray waved his hand in a huff, his glasses sliding down his nose.

“I dunno dude, she and I already worked a two man shift. Another pair of your lackeys will have to suffer for the night.” Eddie pointed to you and with a shudder you recalled the shift that should have never been.

“Or better yet, boss man, shut down and join us! You can stay open for breakfast and leave flyers up so everyone shows up to battle of the bands in support. Everyone wins.” Steve suggested. The cook's who'd been eavesdropping shouted a "Yeah!" from beyond the grill. But you thought maybe he was more-so excited at the proposition of the place being closed for the night.

“I don’t like you thinkin ' and makin’ plans, Harrington.” Murray frowned.

“Murray, I'd be honored if you came to my show. I’ll reserve a seat just for you.” Eddie remarked, and you could tell beneath his cheeky tone, he really meant that.

///

The car was bright blue and leather lined and all yours. You drove it across town, early. When the chill of the morning had barely gone away. The gravel under the tires you sped up was music to your ears.

The trailer gleamed in the sunlight, and you parked with enough space for Eddie to pull in later. When Wayne opened the door to you his smile was brighter than the sun.

“Well, hello.” Wayne beamed for a moment before his brows rose to say, “I gotta tell ya, Eddie ain’t home yet.”

“Oh I know. I’m here to see you.”

It could’ve made you chuckle the way Wayne struggled to hide his flashes of emotion. He’d suck any waver of his lip right back up like it was all pretend. But you always caught those particular turns in his brow. You always recognized what had mattered to him. Especially the times he’d make it clear.

“Last time you said not to be a stranger. So,” You pointed, stepping inside the home as the man gestured for you to enter.

Wayne was quick to insist on sharing a cup of coffee. That little grey cat came chattering into the room as if to greet you all the same. The morning found the pair of you sat at the kitchen table, the cat at your feet. You and Wayne shared coffee, and small talk about the city. What had changed since you’d left. What would likely stay the same long after you were both far gone.

“Well, I’m glad you’re still the same.” You implied a heavier, gratitude filled meaning in between every word you spoke. Because you didn’t wanna overwhelm the stoic man with too many emotions. But you knew you wanted him to understand them all the same. One thing couldn’t go implied any longer though. “I hope my leaving didn’t make you think I was ungrateful.”

“No, no.” Wayne shook his head, raising his brows, seemingly sure that he hadn’t thought that for a second. “No, I knew you had to figure things out the way you thought was best. I didn’t hold you or Eddie’s leavin’ over your heads. I just prayed whatever it was you both went lookin’ for didn’t hurt worse than what you’d already been through.”

You took in his words, settling your gaze on the mug in your hand and nodding that you understood his sentiment.

“Was it?” You asked. “Worse for Eddie, I mean.”

The look on Wayne's face almost alarmed you. There was something worse than sadness in his eyes as he seemed to remember. A fear of sorts flashed in his expression before the man swallowed it away and spoke up again.

“You don’t know?"

“Should I not want to?”

“You... should give him grace, regardless. But I don’t even think you need to hear that. You two have always looked out for each other.”

It was then that the door clattered open. Eddie’s breakfast shift had officially come to an end. His eyes gleamed at the sight of you and his uncle sharing the morning together. But there was a suspicion in his gaze all the same. “Is this an intervention?” He joked, but was quick to swat away his remark and roll his eyes as if he already knew it was a dumb jest before making it.

“Nah, the real question is, you finally bought that big beautiful car?” Eddie quizzed past a grin. He had to have seen it in the lot across from where he parked. How else would you have been here today?

“The car is all mine! I can go where I please!”

“And to think ya came here.”

Things were looking up. Eddie changed from his work clothes and slipped into the third chair at the table and complained about his shift- stealing sips from your mug without asking. He said there was a new girl today. He said Steve was in such a fluster trying to train her, that he tripped on the stairs on the bar and lost his tray of spaghetti in the process. Steve's dropped food landed all down the front of the new girl. Eddie laughed about how he wouldn't be surprised if she never came back. You had to ask if Steve was alright, but couldn't help but laugh between words.

Wayne eventually got up and headed out, mentioning something about getting his laundry done in town for Eddie’s big show tonight. Mentioning something about bringing back lunch for three.

“Well, you’re a bit early for the battle of my band against all the others.” Eddie grinned, leading you down the hall to his room that was surprisingly a little cleaner than the last time you’d seen it. He’d mentioned wanting to run the set list ideas by you, needing to find whatever notebook he’d scrawled in over the night.

“Yeah, I was hoping we’d have some time to kill.”

He rose a brow, turning to ask what exactly you meant by that. But he didn’t have time to get the question out before you were throwing yourself into his arms, pressing your lips against his. Eddie managed to hold you close, kiss you back, and shut the door all the same.

His arms flexed to circle around your back as you yanked him to fall against the bed. You fell on your sides, one of your knees bending to hook around Eddie’s hip. His fingers pressed into your thigh. His mouth opened against yours. Your fingers raked through his hair. You had him right where you wanted him. But then he broke your kiss with a disgruntled sigh.

“We should talk. We haven’t.” Eddie remarked this as if he knew it was the right thing to do before going any further or longer. But he was looking at you with his teeth pressed into his lip, like he was holding himself back from taking a bite out of you.

Still, you propped yourself up on an elbow and peered down at Eddie.

“We haven’t talked but I don’t know how much we need too. Because I know we both feel the same. And I know you’ll say yes if I ask to stay the night. And I know that I’ve always loved you. And I know I wanna say it all the time now. Because I’ve wasted too much of both of our time. And you deserve better.”

Eddie’s beautiful brown eyes flashed with emotion in a way he tried to blink clear like his uncle would do.

“And I love you. Now kiss me again damn it.” Eddie reached a hand toward the back of your head to pull you close. But just before his lips met yours, a scratch at the door was followed by a sad sad meow. Roxy had been left in the hall.

“Awe we should let her in.” You frowned through a smile.

“No, no. She’s too innocent to see what’s about to happen here.” Eddie grinned, shifting to move you from above, to beneath him. With hopeful calculation you tried to predict how long Wayne would be gone, and how long you could make this moment last. Eddie was good at taking his time, but focusing on the task at hand. You were good at making him lose that focus. You could’ve let hours pass alone in Eddie’s room. You could’ve asked a million questions about the scar on his side. But you couldn’t forget about Eddie’s show later. There wasn’t too much more time to waste.

There was just enough, though, to enjoy Wayne's lunch delivery at the table, like before. Except now there wasn't that big dark wave of sadness and uncertainty looming above your heads. Now you all laughed and ate and shot up to head out into the evening together.

You all drove separately. Eddie, cause his amps were in the back of his van. Wayne, because he wanted to get home to bed at a sensible time, assuming Eddie would be out till the odd hours. And you, because you finally had a car all your own and a good place to drive it.

You were early. Just in time for sound check. But after Eddie’s band had set up, there was an hour and a half before doors opened, and his scheduled debut. An hour and a half before Murray would close Gino’s early and drive the underaged workers to the far side of town for Eddie’s show. Eddie reserved a seat for Murray right between Steve and Nancy just to cause everyone a moment of chaos and disbelief.

While the sun dipped lower in the sky, Eddie and you waited on the boot of your car, admiring the way it was all yours. Admiring what this meant for your future.

“What about you though? If you win this thing and you make a record, are you gonna run off to Hollywood?”

“Oh no, this is all just for fun.” Eddie looked up to you, squinting in the sun. He was laid back on your car with his arms behind his head of curls.

“I thought your big dream was to play music all around the world?” You quizzed, turning to meet his gaze from where you sat cross legged. When you were kids, kicking your feet in the pond, Eddie would always say how he thought playing big concerts every night would be the best life ever.

“Yeah. But growing up I felt so guilty at the thought of leaving Wayne behind. And then when I did end up ditching town, I just really missed the world I’d cultivated myself back home."

"Shitty restaurant job included?" You let a laugh slip through your question.

"Yeah, actually." Eddie grinned. "I mean I know I quit before in a moment of ultimate stress but..." Your man took a deep breath and furrowed his brow before continuing. "All my friends work there. You know how nice it is to see people you care about every day? To help them handle a rush? That's the new dream I have for myself. Is to be the person in other peoples lives that I always wished I had. I realized this life, this town, is my world and all my dreams are happening here. Or that they could happen here. All except one… till now.”

Eddie smiled and moved to sit up. Eddie held your head in his hands and pressed his lips against yours right there in the car park in the golden hour. Even with all the questions you still had for each other, nothing seemed so scary anymore. Things had really been looking up.

When it was time to start queuing backstage and telling Eddie not to be nervous, you sent him into the final spotlight with good luck wishes.

“I hope you win.” You brushed a strand of loose hair from his eyes as his band was being welcomed to the stage.

“I already have, remember?” Eddie smiled at you and left his hand lingering in yours before he couldn’t wait to rush out any longer.

You’d moved back to town a few months ago. But only now did you finally feel at home.

///

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