"I don't feel good. I think it was someone I ate."
"I love Halloween. No need to hide what I am."
"Werewolves. Why did it have to be werewolves?"
"I could make a joke about eating Chinese and being hungry an hour after but that would be racist."
"They do know I'm a vampire, right?"
"Most of that stuff in Dracula isn't even close to what vampires are really like."
"Fuck Anne Rice and her frilly, bitch ass vampires."
"We have a few hours until sunrise, what else do you want to do?"
"Silver bullets are for werewolves, you idiot."
"Here. You take this crucifix and stake and stay behind me."
"Are you sure that's holy water?"
"That's not going to work on me."
"Disco wasn't the worst thing ever. The classical era was the worst. The fops with their powdered wigs, pancake make up and mincing was way worse than bell bottoms."
"I am going to kill and eat you for this."
"Don't suppose you have a bottle of O+, would you?"
"You don't get a lot of sun, do you?"
"I am hundreds of years old. You need to do better than that."
"You're not going out wearing that are you? It's not the 19th century any more."
"Isn't the moon beautiful?"
"I'm not sure how old you think I am but I don't do the club scene."
"What is that, the sun? What time is it? Why did you wake me up so early?"
"Is that screaming? Wonderful."
"Come here pet, I'm hungry."
"Can't this wait until evening? It's almost sunrise."
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