How to Write Someone Who Thinks They're Not Enough
I'm sorry guys, this might be a tough post, but I've been feeling a bit down lately, so this is my way of channeling my negative energy!
I'm sure we can all relate to the feeling that we're not good enough. That we're inferior. That even though we might not be the worst, it doesn't matter because we aren't the best. It's a humane feeling--experiencing low self-esteem is unavoidable for many in their lives.
With that being said, seeing characters who feel similarly offers a sense of rawness and realism because they aren't perfect. They're also dealing complex emotions that are ugly and persistent, just like we are.
And you might be thinking: "okay, well, this isn't a difficult character to write, honestly. It's just poor self-view." And while part of this is not exactly wrong, writing a character who looks down on themselves, not just a character with low self-esteem, is more than thoughts of inferiority.
So, let's explore this together! How do we write a character who thinks they're not enough?
1. Innate Competitiveness
Did this surprise you a bit? Oddly enough, these types of characters are almost excessively competitive. Actually, let's put it this way: these characters are quick to compare.
Test grades. GPA. Compliments. Rankings. Earnings. Anything. They silently keep a list of everyone's achievements and measure it to theirs to see where they stand. But the worst part? No matter how their life compares to that of others, it's never going to be good enough.
Scoring a higher score on a test than the resident "smart kid" doesn't mean they're more intelligent. Maybe they got lucky. Maybe the "smart kid" had a bad day. Did they outperform a teammate on the sports team? Fantastic, except they should've outperformed more. They could've done better.
The constant comparison and competitiveness these characters experience is terrible for their mentality and in the end, only increase their feelings of worthlessness.
2. They Overcompensate. A Lot.
These characters are willing to go to extremes to prove their worth. They'll over-study. Overwork. Over-train. They overcompensate for something that they shouldn't shoulder alone.
They think they need to take care of everyone's problems, even if they can't handle it. They can't admit "no, I can't do this" because saying it makes it real. What are their insecurities? What are they ashamed of? What are they scared of? The answers to these questions are what drives them.
Questions, jokes, and even unassuming remarks about their usefulness from others hit hard. It could be a close friend who makes a sarcastic comment about how they should've worked harder, but it stays. It lingers in their mind, and they truly believe it even if they know it's a joke, because every quip hides a bit of truth, do they not?
3. They Can't Ask For Help
Sometimes, it's because they're too prideful. Other times, it's because they're scared of hurting someone they care about. They don't want to drag an innocent person into their problems. Every mistake is theirs and theirs alone, and they will fix it alone. A sense of excessive responsibility, if you will.
They think it's strength--not relying on others--even if it eats them up from inside. Do you want to show character development? Push them to overcome this flaw and ask for assistance. Make them understand that other people are reliable too; needing help and showing vulnerability isn't a weakness.
4. Wanna Make it Hurt? Don't Make Them The Least Competent
I adore a good story about the underdog--the worst person on the team putting their sweat, tears, and blood into improving and being the best--but there's also something brutally painful about seeing a person who is skilled thinking they're not.
We tend to view ourselves much worse than how others view us. This applies to your characters too--we see the brighter sides of them, the skilled sides, the good sides, but they don't, creating a bit of dissonance.
And this hits hard because they're not bad, but they hate themselves because they're not the best, not realizing that some people would kill to be in their shoes. To have their smarts. Their talent. Their personality. Their looks.
In all honesty, this is likely one of the most common yet realistic characteristics in someone who has low self-esteem.
The people who tend to think they're "not enough" often compare themselves to others but find little satisfaction in it, which hurts their mindset. They're stubborn and will refuse to ask for help, instead choosing to overcompensate for their weaknesses.
What do you think? Is this accurate? Let me know if you think I missed anything! Thank you for reading!
