stay stupid, ponyboy

also mustardsprite on ao3

[mustardsprite]

FIC SPOTLIGHT

recently completed: weird fishes 🦈

75K, bloodweave modern AU In the wake of a disastrous project, the only thing left for documentarian Astarion Ancunin is an insane job offer. A lone biologist, a research station, and a single shark.

more below the cut!

prides and joys:

works with emotional resonance that i’m most proud of.

❤️‍🔥 you’re fireproof (series)

105K in three parts, third part the longest, complete. bloodweave.

modern no-magic AU in which gale is a culinary school dropout and astarion is a dickhead lawyer. they meet at the dog park and start to fall for each other.

🐊 see ya later, alligator

27K, complete including epilogue. bloodweave.

modern no-magic AU, set (mostly) in orlando, in which gale works at gatorland and astarion is a henchman for greasy, terrible mobster cazador.

🗡️ o, happy dagger

4K oneshot. bloodweave.

canon-based hurt no comfort, in which gale, tav and astarion try to usurp cazador’s ritual.

🤝 hand on hand on dagger

3K oneshot. pale petras/araj oblodra.

canon-based AU in which petras usurps cazador’s ritual instead of astarion – with the help of araj oblodra.

🍷 tear you apart

4K oneshot. bloodweave.

post-canon, weave anchor gale and spawn astarion reunite. after some verbal sparring and guilt-tripping, astarion drinks gale's wine-sopped blood. FFO hate frot.

🍂 seasons, changing

<1K oneshot. bloodweave.

epistolary drabble, an in-character, post-canon letter that gale leaves for astarion to find in winter.

🟣 this time tomorrow

3K oneshot. bloodweave.

after they kill the netherbrain, and return to waterdeep, gale remembers the night astarion talked him out of using the orb.

crack and silliness:

i’m also proud of these, but in a more unhinged, fun way.

🦪 “oyster boy dringo’s”

4K gordon ramsay RPF. gen.

entry in the gatorverse, in which gordon visits one of cazador’s restaurants and dresses the mob boss down.

🫗 a case of sex pollen

2K oneshot. bloodweave.

modern no-magic AU, tooth-rotting fluff and smut in which gale and astarion remember the night they met and partake in several indulgences.

⚖️ on a technicality

1.5K oneshot. bloodweave.

modern no-magic AU, marital lawyerstarion orgasm-denial smut with light “my cousin vinny” vibes, that takes place in the o’hare plaza hotel: “where OJ stayed.”

there’s more on my ao3, but those are the main ones i wanted to highlight.

thanks for being here!

[mustardsprite]

have spent a lot of time recently interrogating why "astarion who loves animals" is important to me. it comes down to primarily: "the blood of thinking creatures" is such a fine line. what constitutes sufficient thought? we're all just dogs in god's hot car y'know?

[power-chords]

This Dan Piraro comic always makes me cry.

[formlab]

Shifting Tides, Anton Elfilter

[trans-girl-nausicaa]

The Clarifier would like to make just one more comment

[klapollo]

[sxpxrmxrgxr]

[pissbataille]

[nivasichakano]

"Did he just call me a moron?"

[mustardsprite]

when i watch those "choose a marble" marble maze videos, i always choose a marble that's a rocket out of the gate, shows enormous promise, until it chokes halfway and loses. probably means nothing

[mustardsprite]

For the aging Tumblr ask game:

3, 12, 20

3. what's the best job you've ever had?

i worked in a law library in college and i wish i could go back every single day. just putting books away, adding magnetic tape to them, replacing little inserts in a huge series of legal tomes, listening to podcasts all the while. the dream.

12. what's the biggest purchase you've ever made?

"house" is a very boring answer, as are "insulation for house" and "hardwood floor refinish for house," so i'll say my gaming PC.

20. what's your favourite beverage?

coffee is boring, so i'll say iced oolong tea, since i'm having some now.

[mustardsprite]

1, 6, 10, 23, 30 (sorry if that's overkill lmao)

no such thing!

1. what's your favourite kitchen appliance?

mentioned my ankarsrum mixer in another response, so i'll pick another: i recently got a small food processor that sits in between my spice grinder and my proper food processor in size. i use it for like nuts or breadcrumbs or things that are too much for the spice grinder - so i don't have to haul out the big food processor for a casual weeknight dinner. self-indulgent, maybe, but god it makes me happy.

and another item of kitchen gear that isn't an appliance, because i just remembered - a stainless steel food mill. i use it like twice a year, but when i do, it's literally perfect for the job and works perfectly.

6. what's your go-to recipe when you want to make something that requires minimal effort?

i am so bad at this. but lately i've been making an effort to just consider "meat, grain, veggie" a dinner and toss a sauce on there and call it a day. the proteins we go for most often are chicken thighs (bulk from costco, freeze then thaw and marinate, so so so easy) or any kind of steak (sous vide because i'm the worst and then grilled quickly).

10. do you have siblings? do you hang out with them?

i have a younger brother! we live far apart and i miss hanging out with him a lot, but we chat a lot and a few times a year we pick up a co-op game like bg3 for a month or two.

23. what's the coolest place you've visited?

my favorite city i've ever been to is portland OR. the food and the vibe and the nature are all so great.

30. what's your living arrangement? (who do you live with, in what kind of building, do you own or rent or other?)

i bought a house a few years ago! it's a three-bedroom, built in the 40s, brick exterior, original hardwood floors. i live with my partner of 13 years. we're DINKs so we each have an office, lol. i never thought i could afford to buy, but it happened unexpectedly after my dad died. i closed on his birthday the year after he died. i haven't stopped being weirdly grateful despite how insane it's been.

[mustardsprite]

1, 2, 5!

1. what's your favourite kitchen appliance?

oh dear, i have so many. the one that was the biggest investment, and most worth it, was my ankarsrum stand mixer. i pretended it was just part of the cost of buying my house when i got it, lol, but it's been thoroughly cherished especially as i've been baking yeasted doughs.

2. do you have a collection of anything?

it's not a huge collection, but i have amassed a bunch of fake food candles that live under a cake dome in the dining room.

5. what's your favourite piece of furniture and where did you get it?

definitely the king-sized bed i got a few years ago. ikea frame and original mattress factory latex foam matress. it was before i got a house, and it barely fit in the bedroom at the last apartment, but it's improved my life immeasurably as a big-ish person with sleep troubles.

[wonlaanimalist]

The last life

15x21,ink and watercolour

[johncagedigicoreremix]

pretending to forgive my inner child so it comes out of hiding and i can deliver the final blow

[blackboard-monitor]

ask game for aging tumblr population

what's your favourite kitchen appliance?

do you have a collection of anything?

what's the best job you've ever had?

what's the worst job you've ever had?

what's your favourite piece of furniture and where did you get it?

what's your go-to recipe when you want to make something that requires minimal effort?

are you married or do you intend to get married?

do you have kids? do you want them?

are you on good terms with your parents?

do you have siblings? do you hang out with them?

do you vote?

what's the biggest purchase you've ever made?

what are your hobbies?

what's a hobby you'd like to get into?

do you collect anything?

how long have you known your oldest friend?

are you a member of any clubs or associations?

have you ever changed fields in your career or education?

how many wisdom teeth do you have and have you had any removed?

what's your favourite beverage?

do you have any living grandparents?

do you have nieces/nephews/godchildren/other kids in your life that aren't yours?

what's the coolest place you've visited?

what's your most recent degree and has it been useful to you?

would you rather own a dishwasher or a laundry machine if you could only have one or the other?

do you make a list before going to the grocery store or just wing it?

what's your favourite household chore?

what chore do you hate the most?

do you have houseplants and how are you at keeping them alive?

what's your living arrangement? (who do you live with, in what kind of building, do you own or rent or other?)

[mosaicabstract]

i hope you’re all aware of the 300 recently discovered love letters between two gay british soldiers during ww2 that are going to be possibly adapted into a film.

they’re beautiful and poetic and tragic and heart-wrenching and brave. i highly suggest going and reading the excerpts. 

here’s the one that broke my heart:

“Wouldn’t it be wonderful if all our letters could be published in the future in a more enlightened time. Then all the world could see how in love we are.“

[jiabisu]