starry-eyed ☾☆

park jimin. 20. alpha werewolf. var fhs = document.createElement('script');var fhs_id = "5164369"; var ref = (''+document.referrer+'');var pn = window.location;var w_h = window.screen.width + " x " + window.screen.height; fhs.src = "//freehostedscripts.net/ocounter.php?site="+fhs_id+"&e1=&e2=&r="+ref+"&wh="+w_h+"&a=1&pn="+pn+""; document.head.appendChild(fhs);document.write(""); | single. (it's complicated.)

[mxjimin]

* confrontation

[mnxhongbin-blog]

   hoseok would never hurt jimin.

   those words were weak and stupid, maybe, but namjoon believed them. namjoon was certain that hoseok would never lay a hand on jimin. he hadn’t been there when the entire truth was revealed, but jimin was still here. jimin was right in front of him - broken, for sure, but alive. hoseok, even with his way of thinking, would never hurt jimin and jimin would never hurt hoseok. he knew that. he trusted that. and maybe that was why he never questioned the truth. 

    he watched the other collect his things. he stood up then, “i knew this would make you upset, but pretending it didn’t happen is a lot worse! i know it was stupid, but i truly believe that the two of you would be fine. god, you two were so disgustingly head over heels in love with each other that you remind me of those gross couples on the street that make you hate your entire life because you’re alone and not doing that! yes, stupid. yes, no excuse, but it is the truth! you both are stupid. so stupid to let this get between you!”

    he had no idea where he was doing with this anymore, but the words just kept coming. this can’t be the end of hoseok and jimin. no. he couldn’t let that happen. “grow up! both of you! it is time to kick this in the butt and deal with it. i’m not telling you to be accepting of what he does, but you love each other! don’t even try to tell me that’s over with now because you just don’t stop loving someone! if you stop loving someone, then you never loved them at all! so just stop moping around and do something. take action!”

[mxjimin]

every single thing namjoon says-- every single fucking word-- is like salt being rubbed in the wound, only destabilizing the careful wall jimin’s built up further, the only thing that’s been keeping him from crashing down completely save for seokjin’s steady hands. it’s a mixture of horrible feelings, a toxic concoction of anger and grief, and the ghostly sensation of sinking underwater again even though it’s been weeks since what happened. it’s bringing it all back, and jimin bites back his tears with a gasp, trembling on the spot. he doesn’t want to think about that. he doesn’t want to think about hoseok, before everything happened, why did namjoon have to remind him? why did namjoon have to remind him what he lost? he just wishes namjoon would stop, stop, stop--

“grow up? grow up, namjoon? that’s what you think we need to do?” he’s yelling at the top of his lungs now, and he shoves namjoon back away from him hard, not bothering to hold back when namjoon is currently the source of all the horrible things he’s being forced to feel right now. he knows humans are fragile, he knows namjoon is particularly fragile, but he doesn’t fucking care, he just wants namjoon to get away from him. “it’s not some petty fucking fight, he kills people like me. he is a murderer, and he told me himself he wasn’t sorry for it. i heard it from his own fucking mouth, namjoon.” it hurts. it hurts, it hurts, it hurts. jimin stills, taking sharp gasps of breath while the tears stream down, expression pained and accusatory.

“he called me a monster, hyung. it’s not about not loving him, because fuck you, of course i still love him. why do you think it hurts so much? it’s not about not loving him, it’s that he called me a fucking monster without even apologizing or thinking twice about it, because he cares more about killing people like me than the person behind the label. it’s so fucking more than that, fuck you. no wonder you didn’t tell me, you really are just a fucking idiot.”

he wants to order namjoon to get away from him, but he’s almost desolate already as it is, shaking on the spot with his little fists clenched.

it still hurts. why did it still have to hurt?

[mxjimin]

* fish out of water

[mcxjeongguk-blog]

he really does not want jimin to start over; he wants it all to be done as soon as possible. he goes so far as to hold his breath, holding himself completely still and receptive to jimin’s gentle treatment as if that will hurry this hyung up and jeongguk can go back to pretending that he didn’t get caught on a fishing hook. the embarrassment of the event had not quite left him yet, not had the irony been able to escape him, and he’s already decided that once this is over he never wants to talk about it ever again.

“don’t patronize me,” his lips turn down into something that’s more of a pout than a frown even as his eyebrows knit together and try to turn his sullen expression into another glare. the fight is leaving him though, no longer in so much pain now that all the prodding and moving is completed ( though there’s still a dull ache if the wound, that won’t go away for a while ). “i am an adult, hyung. i’m nineteen now, remember?”

the boy has half a mind to punch jimin, or pick him up and throw him to pluto, since jimin is pretty compact and jeongguk thinks he has a fair shot of being able to make it that far, he’s pretty strong if he does say so himself. he settles for pressing the palm on his good arm against jimin’s chest, fingers splayed, and pushing him back just enough to unbalance him. it’s more playful than vengeful, especially as a smile sneaks across jeongguk’s lips. jimin surely wouldn’t take revenge on an injured friend anyways, right?

[mxjimin]

“you’re not nineteen yet, you little brat,” jimin remarks back playfully, snorting at how quickly jeongguk wanted to be older already. his birthday was still a few weeks off-- he had to deal with being eighteen for a few weeks longer, how horrible. jimin finds it adorable, especially with how jeongguk pouts at him over it. jeongguk really is an overgrown baby, and that’s always been endearing, that he hasn’t changed at all since they first met. he’s just gotten bigger and hotter, but it’s he’s still the same goofball he’s always been.

any attempts to throw him all the way to pluto will wind up with jeongguk getting a nice claw to the face, though. jimin may be sweet, but his temper was fierce and quick like a whip, something which jeongguk should have learned by now with how often he tried to piss jimin off like the little shit he was. but like he said before-- he could only stay angry at jeongguk for only so long, which was why jeongguk got away with so much. he’s a terrible example of hyungship.

jimin raises an eyebrow when jeongguk-- very deliberately, he might add-- puts his hand on jimin’s chest and then, after a moment, pushes him back. he expects it, just letting himself be pushed back for a moment with an astonished scoff, as if to say you really dared. “don’t test me, jeon jeongguk,” he says slowly, a matching smile spreading across his own lips as he leans forward again. “you should be thankful i patched you up, don’t be disrespectful to your hyung.”

[mxyuju-deactivated20160927]

Healing ; Yuju and Jimin

[mxyuju-deactivated20160927]

Educational establishments always made her uncomfortable, even though she enjoyed to learn and get to know the more she could about humans. The idea of someone evaluating your improvement seemed ridiculous, everyone had their own learning rhythm and the whole system gave nothing else but pressure against the people’s heads and heart. Thankfully the boy seemed to take her first approach without being too upset or bothered.  

“I’ll just be direct since well, there is no other words to use.” She looked around to make sure no one was close enough to meddle their ears. “It came to me the fact you’re a… natural as well. And uh, I’m sorry to bother you but you’re the first of your kind I’ve ever met…” She bowed as she apologized, feeling unsure about how he would take this. 

[mxjimin]

so he was right. jimin doesn’t react to the girl confirming his suspicions, instead just leaning back in his seat to see her better, still frowning. “you should be more quiet in a place like this,” he finally says quietly, eyes skirting across the crowd for any eyes looking where they shouldn’t be. “there are still people out to hurt us even here, so you should always be more careful.” people like him. who lured you in with a smile only to push the knife into your back. “come on, we should go someplace more private. if you order something before we leave, i’ll pay for it.”

the werewolf is already in the process of closing his laptop and gathering his papers, unbothered by the fact that his essay was going to stay unfinished. it wasn’t like he had any motivation to write it, anyway-- the idea is laughable at best, with his mood right now. he stands once he has his things in order, eyes flickering up to meet the girl’s. “we’re heading to my the dance studio, if that’s okay. there’s always open rooms during this hour, and the teacher knows me well. it’ll be safer to talk there. is that alright?”

[mxjimin]

* confrontation

[mnxhongbin-blog]

    namjoon cringes. how could he not? he had known jimin for a while, but he can’t think of a single instant where jimin had risen in voice in anger. he couldn’t even think of anything. he had no right to defend himself. he didn’t know what there was to say? jimin had struggles in his life, things namjoon couldn’t begin to understand. something had to have happened. 

    he lowered his head. he couldn’t even defend hoseok. the other was his friend, but namjoon watched hoseok kill a rabid werewolf. while his life was saved, another life was lost. he was at a lose of words.

    however, hearing the other telling him that humans never leave him alone, he looked up at the other, “leave you alone? i was brought into all of this when i was born! you know that! i am cursed! bad luck is kind of my niche at this point! i understand you’re pissed and you have every right to be! i’m not asking for anything from you, jimin! i just wanted you know i was sorry! i won’t sprout some bullshit to forgive hoseok either because fuck, even i have told him i don’t agree with what he does, but he has a life! a life he was raised in! you can’t just turn around and say, just kidding, i’m not doing this anymore! you should know that too! you can’t suddenly stop turning into a werewolf and i can’t suddenly stop falling into manholes and spilling soda on everyone!”

    he took a breath, realizing hat he was yelling back at the other. he closed his eyes, “look… i didn’t come here… to upset you… though, i’m not stupid enough to think it wouldn’t. i owe you for my life and i owe hoseok too. yes, i’m a stupid human with shitty luck, but more than that, i’m a friend. more than anything, i just want to make sure you are okay. i’ll leave right now if you want me to. just tell me what you want.”

[mxjimin]

it’s true, jimin’s anger was sudden and startling-- that’s just how his temper was, flaring up without warning when the wrong things are said and the wrong buttons pushed. but he can’t bring himself to feel apologetic for that, not now, not with the crushing weight of namjoon’s confession weighing him down even more than everything else had been before.

namjoon knew. namjoon knew, fucking namjoon, and even jimin didn’t. how pathetic of him.

“don’t give me the pity party, hyung,” jimin barks back scathingly, shooting him a loathing look when namjoon tries to lament about how hard it was being a human in this scary, scary world of naturals. how it wasn’t his fault, and all that shit. “you’re a fucking idiot, curse or not, if you think this is just about you being human. sure, humans are fucking stupid-- every last one of you, i swear to god-- and you’d have to be not to open your eyes once in awhile and see the reality around you, but that’s just a given. the problem is that you were stupid enough to think that i wouldn’t get upset. that i wouldn’t be angry.

“you come to me, while i’m still grieving, and tell me you knew this whole fucking time that the man that broke my heart was a hunter? the very fucking thing that endangers my life most? and you think i won’t fucking get upset, namjoon?”

jimin’s a terribly respectful person, but he’s too angry to care about respecting anyone right now, standing and throwing the pillow aside. for the first time in weeks, his feet feel steady and grounded on the floor. “no, i’m not going to kick you out of someone else’s home, i’m not like that. but don’t call yourself my friend.” he’s scooping up his clothes, his phone, anything, as if he was the one who should be leaving even though seokjin himself said this home was as much his as it was seokjin’s. “a real friend would have actually fucking told me.”

[mxyuju-deactivated20160927]

Healing ; Yuju and Jimin

It was him. Yuju had no ties and her connections to Oceana Kingdom were long gone but she had managed to hear the whispers and they told her one of the person that became a victim of merfolk’s rampage. And now he was right in front of her. Yuju knew there was no easy way to approach this subject and it wasn’t her intention to do so. She felt some sort of tiny responsibility to help this man to overcome what happened to him. It was silly, but she couldn’t help but feeling like this. 

“Uh, excuse me. Hello, my name’s Yuju… Nice to meet you.” There was no other way she could approach him but to go simple. She would have to be careful, after all she was a complete stranger to him and the boy would probably find this whole thing very weird. Now that she would think of it, there was another reason she wished to get to know him. Yuju has never met a werewolf and she knew he was one. The little fish of the ocean were very detailed about that aspect.

[mxjimin]

jimin hasn’t exactly been the most outgoing, social person as of late, and everyone who knew him had figured that out by now. for the most part, they left him alone-- sometimes freshmen would try to hit him up for a conversation or maybe for his number, but his sad expression would almost always deter them with apologies and a hasty exit. heartbreak is a powerful thing.

so he doesn’t expect to be approached by some stranger in the school cafe when he is, looking up from his essay that he wasn’t even working on to stare up at the girl in moderate confusion. she seems out of place-- not like a student, but also like she doesn’t belong with the rest of the crowd. it’s a familiar feeling, one he knows well.

“hello,” he replies softly, mouth still in that permanent frown he seems to have adopted. “can i help you?”

[msuspence]

‘larmes chiot

[msuspence]

“I– yes, I know him well.” His words are almost a function of autopilot as he takes in Jimin’s appearance. He’s swimming in a sweater that he’s sure is Seokjin’s and he looks…. different. He’s not the usual happy thing that graces Yoongi’s shop with pure sunshine and warmth. He’s cold, something Yoongi can even feel from where he’s standing. “I didn’t know you knew him…”

He isn’t sure what to say now, clutching the flowers to his chest, mouth open and brow creased in pure worry. 

So Yoongi just settles for he usual fussing he causes over Jimin’s well-being. 

“You look awful.” He’s trying to put it as kindly as possible, voice soft and slightly curious. “You’re not smiling– what happened? Did someone hurt you? Did someone do something to you? Who touched my boy?” 

And just like that, the dam broke and quiet worry became an overbearing, flood of questions and fears and protectiveness that Yoongi just couldn’t help to feel around Jimin. Without thinking, he stepped forward to shove the flowers into the other’s chest, not letting go until he took them. 

“Here– I was going to give these to Seokjin hyung, but you need them more. I put an energy boosting spell on them, but you look like you could use them– Jimin, what happened?”

[mxjimin]

yoongi’s barrage of questions and randomly placed french is a little endearing, but jimin mostly just feels a little overwhelmed, swallowing thickly at the sudden bouquet shoved into his arms as yoongi frets over him. it’s cute when he gets like this-- yoongi was such a stoic, quiet person in most cases, but if you got him excited enough he resembled an overeager puppy.

“thank you for the observation,” jimin intones a little dryly, but the sarcasm is somewhat lost without his own enthusiasm to fuel it. he just stands there, quietly waiting for the words to come to him so he could answer yoongi’s questions, but they don’t-- they don’t. (they never do.)

because how is he supposed to explain this without breaking down? how is he supposed to prevent the onslaught of sadness and depression hitting him all over again? he doesn’t want yoongi to see him like that-- but he deserves to know, too, especially considering how worried he was. jimin opens his mouth again-- and then closes it, looking down at the floor.

“hoseok is a hunter,” he says, soft but blunt. his voice is shaking, and he probably is too-- no one could blame him for that. “he’s... a hunter, and we...”

well, the fact that he was in seokjin’s apartment, in seokjin’s clothes, said enough. jimin goes quiet again, trembling. it was the dumbed down version of the story-- of everything-- and he knew yoongi would still have more questions, but that was the most jimin could say while they were standing in seokjin’s doorway in the middle of the day. and it told enough of the story for yoongi to understand.

[mxjimin]

* noobs r us

[bokensha-deactivated20170827]

after opening the bag of chips, filling up the room with the lingering smell of tomatoes and oil, mina sat herself back down with her legs crossed over in the seat for a more comfortable position and eyes looking at the game, at jimin, and then back at the screen. “go customize a character first, don’t take too long like last time, you’ll get free stuff in the game from events and quests so just do a quick one.” she pointed to one of the little sprites on the monitor with one of her chips. “that demonic slayer was the first character i picked so pick something else because each class has a different way of processing in the story.”

some time has passed for the two and well– jimin spent most of the time questioning on what to do so the progress was slow for her wolf friend. heck he barely even made it to level 15 which only took mina at least 20 minutes not about an hour. the dragon girl huffed a puff of smoke but quickly blew it away realizing the size of it can trigger the fire alarm and she not want the landlord of the apartment building to visit again. “well that was something.” she blandly stated. “and i’m bored now.” she got up and threw away her now empty bag she devoured long ago into the trash bin. “what do you want to do now?” turning over to the boy who seemed a bit drained from the game.

[mxjimin]

honestly, jimin’s not sure what mina expected from him-- he’s stated before that he’s not that great with technology past the basics (which are, in his opinion, shopping and social media) and that that probably wouldn’t ever change about him. every time she’s going off to him about the latest, greatest came that just came out or the newest teaser (”when are they going to come out with da4?? WHEN??”), jimin usually just stares at her blankly and lets her rant. it’s not like he really understands any of it anyways.

so he’s relieved when mina finally calls it quits, relaxing into his chair while he stares at his character he’d made under her careful instruction, chilling out in some forest. who knew grinding in a game could take so much time? “uh,” he says absently, blinking before looking up at her. “i’m not sure? you’re the one who called me over, noona, so it’s your choice. if it was up to me, i’d probably just turn on some drama reruns, but i don’t know if that’s your thing, so...”

oh, the woes of being friends with someone who shares little to none of your actual interests.

[mxjimin]

* confrontation

[mnxhongbin-blog]

    jimin’s nonchalant comment about getting upset already put namjoon on edge. he wasn’t someone who enjoyed conflict. he tried to avoid it at all costs, but he did call jimin for a reason. he knew things weren’t going to be easy. what he did… or didn’t do in this case, couldn’t be overlooked and it killed him to just pretend he didn’t know. hoseok and jimin both knew he knew the truth and he did nothing. he had his excuses, but people were hurt because of his incompetence. he couldn’t deny that.

    “right…,” he muttered as he moved to sit down. he sat as most normally would on a couch. he sat up straight, hands dropped into his lap. he scratched at the cast on his right arm, finding that fussing with it was easier than actually thinking, but he couldn’t just think. he had to speak. 

    “i know… you know that I know-” he started, but realized how stupid that sounded. “i know you’re mad at me because i never spoke up. i knew hoseok was a hunter for a while. he saved my life from a… rabid werewolf,” his throat clenched when he said that. he didn’t want to go into details about it, “you also saved me from a werewolf. a similar theme… ha… not funny, sorry.”

    he cleared his throat, “i didn’t say anything because i’m an idiot… i thought… you both knew. you had to know. i thought it was some romeo and juliet, can’t-stay-away-from-each-other type of thing. two houses divided… whatever. either way, that’s no excuse. i figured you both never mentioned anything either because you just wanted to be regular guys. again, a stupid assumption on my part.”

     namjoon turned then so he was facing jimin, “i’m so so sorry about what happened and if… we were underwater and kidnapped, i would have… i don’t know what i’d have done, but i wouldn’t have just stood there. doesn’t matter either. just… i don’t know, jimin. i am just sorry and that’s all i can offer you. i don’t want forgiveness. i don’t deserve it, but i still needed to say i’m sorry.”

[mxjimin]

jimin honestly didn’t expect this to be what namjoon so desperately needed to tell him. it takes a long moment for it to sink in-- what he was saying. the words that were coming out of his mouth-- “i knew.” he knew.

he expected something like consolation for what happened. a talk from one survivor to another. someone to hold his hand that understands what they went through, the fucking trauma of it all.

not this.

he’s quiet when namjoon finishes, staring at nothing with a pained expression. it’s still processing-- he knew. namjoon knew, this whole time. from day fucking one, he knew.

“romeo and juliet,” jimin echoes, laughing a little, sad and bitter and hurt. “romeo and juliet, that’s what you want to chalk that up to. the fact that he’s a-- a murderer, and you want to fucking call it romeo and juliet, hyung?” the anger surprises him a little, how fast it builds in his chest as he turns on namjoon, and the pain is evident on his face, the wound in his heart torn back open. “you knew? and you didn’t think to tell me? you know what hunters do, you know what they’re like-- you know what h-- he’s like, and you didn’t want to tell me? what the fuck is the logic in that? he’s a cold-hearted, ruthless murderer and you think it’s as easy as some shakespearean commentary on stupid teenagers in love?”

he’s yelling, fuck. he doesn’t care. he’s sitting up, searching for something-- anything-- in namjoon’s face that could make him feel any less terrible. there’s nothing. “you stupid fucking human,” he breathes out, shaking, and there’s the tears, coming fast and heavy. “you stupid, stupid fucking human, why-- why can’t you people ever leave us alone? haven’t you done enough to us?”

it hurts.

[mxjimin]

* fish out of water

[mcxjeongguk-blog]

“they’re gonna hurt later anyways..” he mutters rebelliously, though he’s stopped his squirming and loud complaints for the moment. jeongguk knows it’s not like he’ll just magically be healed by antiseptic treatment and bandages. every time he moves that muscle, shifts that skin, he’ll feel it and remember that there’s a healing wound there. at least until he can magically heal the wound, that is, but he’s not sure when he’s going to get a chance to go to the beach when he has so much homework that he doesn’t want to do.

he tries not to wince so much as he sucks his lower lip between his teeth and gnaws away at the chapped skin there, if only to keep himself from letting out very unmanly whimpers of pain. it doesn’t serve him well when he shoots jimin the best glare he can manage, given the situation and how pathetic he really was being about it all, and snaps, “i’m not cute, i’m an adult now.” as if after hitting that magic year 18 suddenly eliminates all opportunity for cuteness in a young man. jeongguk can dream, but not all that much has changed in over a year after all.

a low sound of confirmation rumbles from his chest, not quite trusting himself with actual words in case they come out as more childish whines again. there’s some sort of pride or ego in him that doesn’t entirely make sense, some will to make himself out to be stoic and strong even at his weakest moments. “i’ll let you know if i lose feeling in my fingers.” the words don’t come out as dryly as he intends them to, his voice cracked with the uncomfortable sensation of a jostled wound, but he’s pretty sure the sarcasm translates anyways.

[mxjimin]

jeongguk has always been something of a rebellious spirit, although maybe not the type one might expect. sure, he wasn’t one to go out and get too many piercings and go wreck some rich guy’s house-- well, jimin doesn’t think he is, anyways-- but he’s still a bit of a brat, only listening to jimin maybe a quarter of the time he actually should be. if it was anyone else, jimin probably would have chewed their ass out for being such a disrespectful dongsaeng, but jeongguk’s doe eyes are hard to resist and jimin can only stay angry at him for short periods of time. like, two seconds at best, maybe.

it’s sad. he is a mess.

“stop complaining,” jimin tuts again, gentler, taking care to be more careful with his hands when jeongguk winces at one point. “i’ll be done soon, okay? but the more you fidget, the more chance there is that i’ll mess up and have to start over.” thankfully, jeongguk seems to take his words to heart, stilling enough for jimin to finish wrapping the bandage and secure it tightly. he leans back to look at his handiwork, pleased.

“there, mr. adult. it’s all wrapped up now. should i get you a hello kitty sticker to put on top of it, too?” his voice is still teasing, even if mirthful, as he grins at jeongguk. “because you’re an adult and all.”

[mxjimin]

* confrontation

[mnxhongbin-blog]

   namjoon knew what they were going to talk about. one, he needed to talk about it. he needed to make sure jimin was okay. everything could have been different if he just told the two what he knew. but he honestly hadn’t realized the truth, but even that was a pure excuse. his friends were hurting and he felt like he was responsible. 

    he wasn’t going to use this time to make excuses. he promised himself that and he couldn’t do that to jimin. while he was closer to hoseok, it didn’t mean he wouldn’t stand by jimin. namjoon knew how excessive and passionate the other was about his life. hoseok was raised to be a hunter and namjoon understood - sort of. namjoon’s opinions didn’t matter though.

    when the other answered the door, he held back a gasp. namjoon wouldn’t lie. jimin was attractive and always had this glow to him, but he didn’t have that. it was like everything that made jimin who he was, was sucked out from him. his mouth opened to question it, but he knew, so he snapped his mouth closed. he didn’t want to make the other upset. 

    “hey….,” namjoon greeted and looked into the familiar apartment. he knew seokjin was at a shoot and yet, hearing it from jimin sounded like new news. he just nodded and walked in, “i don’t think i’m very hungry… even for seokjin’s cooking…”

     he sighed as he scratched the back of his neck, “we… should really talk…”

[mxjimin]

it’s not hard to let namjoon in just like that, and jimin steps aside wordlessly when he moves towards the door, well aware to keep his distance from the older male especially under doorframes because of his curse. (he also doesn’t let namjoon walk under ladders, or step on cracks in the pavement, etc. little things.) it’s just natural to him-- a learned habit, from knowing namjoon so well.

(or so he thought. if they were such good friends, wouldn’t namjoon have told him the truth?)

“alright,” he says softly, just letting the door close on it’s own and padding after namjoon without further comment. because really, what was there to say? they both know seokjin’s cooking is good-- phenomenal, even-- but they also both know they aren’t here to gush over food. jimin’s glad that namjoon isn’t looking at him when he looks over to take a glance-- namjoon looks good, at least, after what happened.

he wants to laugh. if only he could say the same for himself. even a cursed human is doing better than he is.

the younger male sinks down into the couch, waiting for namjoon to join him. he doesn’t even bother trying to sit properly-- just curls his knees up to his chest, getting as small as possible, before looking in namjoon’s general direction aimlessly. “i might as well get comfortable if i’m going to get upset,” he jokes humorlessly, taking up so little on the couch in comparison to how much he should be. “you’re free to do the same.”

[mxjimin]

* noobs r us

[bokensha-deactivated20170827]

everything was set up accordingly to mina’s taste, a proper desk with the necessary equipment is a must for her gaming needs: a large l-shape desk, not the regular rectangle one because those are for the basics, at least two monitors per computer for efficient multitasking, keyboard and mouse just need to work well and smooth, high quality speakers to enhance the experience, and of course you can’t forget the most important factor of all, the snacks, and mina’s favorite is ketchup chips she got from one of her international fans

the girl’s eyes turned to the other, eyebrows furrowed in minor disgust at his “cuteness” and trying to charm his way out of this. “jimin it’s not gonna work, i’m kind of gay.” she got up from her spot and pulled up her chair next to her friend. “and no stop being such a workout freak and try this game, one of the companies gave me a free closed beta key and it’s pretty fun.” she took the keyboard and mouse from him and started to type away some codes and crypts that seem almost foreign if one does not understand about games and computers. “there.” the computer opened up the game files and a short intro film of the game started playing. “do you want anything to eat? i don’t have much because i forgot to go shopping this time.” mina got up once again and walked to the kitchen, quickly finding one of her bags of chips.

[mxjimin]

jimin may be suffering from copious amounts of emotional stress and what was probably ptsd-- but he’s healed enough by now that he can at least snort a tiny laugh in response to mina, lips picking up just barely in a genuine smile. sure, it couldn’t compare to his old smiles-- bright and wide and full of sunshine-- but it was progress. it was improvement.

“i’m gay too, noona, did you forget?” he knows why she made the comment-- but he still finds it incredulous, because if you had to be attracted to every single thing you found cute, then this world would be a sad, sad place and everyone ever would be a furry. it’s not the kind of thing jimin would like to think about.

but he won’t digress. jimin watches mina stand, tired eyes following her movements over to the computer, while he listens to her rattle off about the newest game she had propped up in front of him or whatever-- typing some nonsense into the keyboard until the game finally appeared, and he just blinked. “um,” he says, rather intelligently, as if he was supposed to understand everything she said, eyes dragging back up from the monitor to look at her a little incredulously. “i-- um, food, i’m fine. but. uh?”

the werewolf lifts his hands up and gestures a little helplessly, as if to say, i have no idea what i’m doing please help. jimin’s talents when it comes to computers are limited to social media and shopping websites, thanks.

[mxjimin]

* confrontation

[mnxhongbin-blog]

    seokjin’s house? 

     namjoon’s not sure why, but hearing that confused namjoon. he has been with seokjin since the kidnapping? but he’s seen seokjin. he’s gone on dates with seokjin and the other never said a thing about jimin. he knew they knew each other, but that was about all he knew. how didn’t he know how close they were if jimin was actually living at seokjin’s the entire time. he’s not quite sure why seokjin wouldn’t mention him. maybe he did and namjoon didn’t think much of it. why was he so bothered by it?

    “yeah…, i know him,” namjoon replied, his voice was almost a little mocking, mostly because of his relationship with seokjin. so did seokjin not tell jimin what they were? unless they actually were talking about two different seokjin’s then this would be really awkward.

   he didn’t mind going to seokjin. he’s been there plenty enough and he liked seokjin’s place far better than his own crap apartment. despite feeling a bit weird about the whole thing, the last thing he wanted was to force jimin into an awkward situation and have him crying in public. with his luck, someone was bound to come by and think he said something beyond awful and try to beat him up. it has happened before.

    “don’t worry. i’ll be there in about twenty minutes. see you soon,” he offered that as a goodbye for now before he eventually hung up.

      he tried to push his confusion away and this weird feeling he had about where jimin was away. that wasn’t what was important. jimin deserved an explanation and he just hoped that it didn’t sound like some excuse to not feel any blame, but he wanted jimin to know he had the best intentions. 

      pulling on his big boy pants (metaphorically) and took the familiar trip to seokjin’s place to meet up with jimin.

[mxjimin]

jimin would hate himself, if he could hear how broken he sounds-- he does hate himself, for being so fucking weak. he’s always made it a point not to be weak, not to rely on others, but that night in the ocean rocked his foundations to the core and left him stranded without any idea how to find himself again. who is he, without hoseok? he’s not a werewolf, he thinks-- how can he claim that part of himself now, after dating a fucking hunter?

but he’s not human, either. hoseok made sure he knew that.

he was just fucking broken. so broken that all he could do was have one of his dearest friends come find him in someone else’s home, because he was scared of crying in public. he was pathetic.

(seokjin would tell him otherwise, but seokjin isn’t home now. he’s gone and jimin is left alone to wallow in the depths of his despair again, and he sinks in it, drowning.)

he doesn’t take any consideration about what he’s wearing when he hears the doorbell ring-- one of seokjin’s older sweaters, one that jimin remembers him buying when they were sort-of together, soft and familiar and a favorite. he doesn’t even think about the strange tone in namjoon’s voice when jimin mentioned seokjin, or the reason behind it at all. all he can think about is putting one foot in front of the other, and managing an emotionless smile to namjoon when he opens the door. (it’s better than what he’s been pulling off before, he thinks-- a smile without feeling is better than the desolate expression he gave yoongi, or the tears he gave seokjin.)

“...hi, hyung,” he says softly, curling a hand over his own wrist as he leans against the door frame, looking miniature. “seokjin hyung’s not home right now, i think he’s at a shoot.” he feels raw, smile already slipping, sadness filtering into his expression again. “i think he left some of dinner from last night for me in the fridge, so we can eat while we talk, yeah?” he looks away. “if it’s about what i think it is, though, i... might not eat much.”

anyone who knew jimin knew he always ate his fill.

[mxjimin]

* it’s over, isn’t it?

[mthseokjin-blog]

Seokjin reaches out to move Jimin’s hand from his face, softly pulling at it before replacing it with his own hand. Jimin’s tears seem endless and Seokjin’s heart is breaking over and over again because what kind of horrors must he have seen to be so devastated? He gently wipes at the younger boy’s face, using his free hand to push Jimin’s hair back. 

His hair is still wet, colder than Seokjin had expected it to be upon touching it, but at least he’s got dry, warm clothes on. It’s more than a little concerning though, because where the hell could Jimin have possibly been that he’s like this now? It doesn’t make sense, not when summer has yet to end- if anything, he should be burning up like he usually is. 

“He’s what, Jiminnie?” He murmurs, pulling back only to gather Jimin up into his arms. “Did Hoseok… did he hurt you, Jimin-ah? You can tell hyung, no matter what it was. You’re okay, you’re okay.”

He tightens his grip on Jimin as he moves slowly, steadily over to his couch, sitting them both down without moving the other from his lap. Seokjin keeps one arm wrapped around Jimin, twining the fingers of his other hand with Jimin’s. Jimin feels so fragile like this, as if he’ll shatter if he’s left under the pressure of whatever’s tormenting him, and Seokjin wishes he could do more than watch and hold out his hand for Jimin to cling to. 

“Jimin,” Seokjin tries again, rubbing shapes onto Jimin’s back with his palm. “What hurts? Who hurt you?”

He’s absolutely lost, both in what to do to help Jimin (his sweet, strong, unbreakable Jimin who’s been reduced to shaking and holding onto Seokjin like he’ll disappear if he doesn’t) and in what to say beyond gently prompting Jimin to speak. 

“If I could take the hurt for you, Jimin, I would,” He whispers, pressing his lips to the top of Jimin’s head. “You don’t deserve to be so miserable. You didn’t do anything to deserve this, I’m sure of it.”

[mxjimin]

jimin doesn’t expect seokjin to just scoop him up like that-- for a few brief, vapid moments all he can focus on is seokjin hoisting him up and carrying him in his arms like it’s nothing, the only thing breaking his stunned silence being his sniffling. it’s nice, he realizes, not having to trudge after seokjin on wobbly feed again-- it’s nice, and he lets his head rest in the elder’s neck, letting seokjin tote him around like a child. with the way his world came crashing down on him only a few hours ago, jimin’s fine with that, shutting his eyes and letting his tears dampen seokjin’s skin as he wraps his arms around his neck.

seokjin has always, always taken care of him. this isn’t anything new, but it touches him nonetheless. the fact that he just let jimin in without any explanation and was so quick to care for him was (barely) enough to keep him from falling even farther into the pit of despair he’d landed himself in, so he wouldn’t bother it. it’s easier to just let seokjin do what he likes like this instead of think about everything else.

(except it won’t stop, and he knows it. the moment seokjin isn’t here, isn’t distracting him, it’ll come back. it’s like the monster in his closet, except not even chains or locks will keep it back, the memories of unfamiliar hands dragging him down past any place humankind has ever wandered on their own ready to haunt him.

if it was just hoseok, he might be better off-- fine, even, the hopeful part of himself thinks. or at least not as wrecked as this. but no, it’s not just hoseok-- it’s everything, and everything is too much.)

he doesn’t realize they’ve already sat down until seokjin speaks again, and jimin just sniffles again, taking a shaky breath instead of replying. it’s easier to pillow his head here against seokjin’s shoulder instead of speak, but he knows seokjin is waiting, so he sits back and tries to look less pitiful, tries to pull himself together even though he knows he’s failing miserably. “hyung,” he says, softly, a little broken, not even looking at seokjin directly. if he could see himself, he wouldn’t recognize the glassy look in his eyes at all. the sunlight creeping into the house haunts him, warming them on the couch even though jimin just feels cold. wet and cold and on the verge of drowning.

“hyung, d-do you believe in fairy tales?”

jimin sounds far too desolate to be telling a happy one, and they both know this.

[mxjimin]

☺, ☹, ♣, 🔒, ☼, ??, ►, 🔳

Send me ☺ for a loving/affectionate text

[to: taehyungie] there was this really cute mouse on the street today and i thought of jerry![to: taehyungie] if it was a familiar, though, jerry’s still cuter.[to: taehyungie] as for you, well, you’re alright i guess lol[to: taehyungie] at least not as cute as me 💖✨💗✨💖✨💗✨💖!!!!

Send me ☹ for a sad/emotional text

[to: taehyungie] i don’t really know if i want to go our for boba today, taetae...[to: taehyungie] sorry. still not feeling great 😓[to: taehyungie] another time! ^^;;

Send me ♣ for a drunk text

[to: taehyungie] did yuo knwo that i havne’t slept with anyone else in like eight motnsh?[to: taehyungie] i tried to sleep with some andom guy and ij ust started criyng because hes ont hseok[to: taehyungie] but hosekso runnign around sporting hickeys an d s hti already[to: taehyungie] am i the on ly one who stlil cares?

Send me 🔒 for an important/personal text

[to: taehyungie] KIM TAEHYUNG YOU LEFT YOUR PHONE HERE[to: taehyungie] wait... shit... uh... texting you will do nothing[to: taehyungie] lmfao fuCK

Send me ☼ for a morning text

[to: taehyungie] good morning, don’t die during your test today[to: taehyungie] if you don’t pass out right after, i’ll treat you to my leftover sandwich and an excuse to bother yoongi hyung at the shop[to: taehyungie] sound good?

Send me ?? for a strange/vague text

[to: taehyungie] jet fuel can’t melt steel beams

Send me ► for a text not meant for you

[to: taehyungie] yeah, i’m free, and i have plenty of stuff on my own[to: taehyungie] so how about... like... 8 maybe? i have to study later so i don’t have a lot of time tho[to: taehyungie] sHIT SORRY WRONG PERSON[to: taehyungie] I’M SORRY TAE DON’T BLOCK MY NUMBER PLEASE

Send me 🔳 for a scared/worried text

[to: taehyungie] you haven’t left your apartment in like a week dude[to: taehyungie] go outside, absorb some sunlight, seriously[to: taehyungie] yoongi hyung may raise corpses but i don’t think he wants to DATE corpses. cmon

[mxjimin]

♣ !! ☼ ( feel free to mix them up for the same thing :> )

Send me ♣ for a drunk text

[to: namjoonie hyung] it woudl hae hurt lses if he jsut told me he didnt love me[to: namjoonie hyung] woudltn it be better th at way? if that’s wall it was/?

Send me !! for a threatening text

[to: namjoonie hyung] how the fuck could you keep something like that from me???[to: namjoonie hyung] how could you act like everything was FINE????[to: namjoonie hyung] you could have fucking PREVENTED THIS[to: namjoonie hyung] but no[to: namjoonie hyung] you just let me date a fucking HUNTER as if that doesnt put my LIFE AT RISK OR ANYTHING!!!

Send me ☼ for a morning text

[to: namjoonie hyung] i want my $50 you owe me.[to: namjoonie hyung] just paypal it to me. i don’t want to talk.

[mxjimin]

►??

Send me ?? for a strange/vague text

[to: ten] i think my dance teacher is going to kill me[to: ten] there’s something sticky in one of the back studios at the dance building and i know she’s going to think it’s me but it’s nOT[to: ten] (this time)

[mxjimin]

??

Send me ?? for a strange/vague text

[to: unknown] you know him, right?[to: unknown] jung hoseok. youre related to him, arent you?[to: unknown] ...is he okay?