UNDER CONSTRUCTION

twenty9. substance abuse ＆ mental health counselor ❝ and hold me like we're dying from the liquor that we drank down in hotel rooms, to feel warm in COLD LOVE ❞

[mxrsbender]

Do you believe in second chances?

❛ If I didn’t ― I would not be here right now. ❜ His lips curl upwards to form a tired smile. Head tilting marginally as he rested his elbows upon the tops of his thighs. ❛ So call me bias ― but I do believe in second chances. To a certain extent, of course. People are constantly growing. Constantly evolving. The mistakes they made yesterday won’t be the same mistakes they make tomorrow. ❜

[mxrsbender]

[bob-belcher]

[woodlandsway]

[mxrsbender]

text: marion📲 mars

Marion [4.53PM]: No, sorry, it just freaks me out. Why do you need that energy in the evening? Do you not just want to roll into bed and sleep?

Marion [4.55PM]: I was hoping maybe Friday or this weekend if that's alright with you?

Mars [5.02PM]: not really, no.

Mars [5.02PM]: friday is mellow. let's plan for it?

[mxrsbender]

DINAH BELMONT:

DATE: SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 22nd, 2020. TIME: 7:30 PM. LOCATION: HILL OF GRACE WINERY. OPEN: MARS BENDER.

Dinah wasn’t one to meddle in her sibling’s personal lives, contrary to popular belief. In fact, she was happy with keeping their private lives exactly that. Private. Of course, there were a handful of instances where her younger siblings had come to her for advice or to just have someone to listen to. Most recently, that was Parker informing Dinah about her miscarriage. Knowing her siblings like the back of her hand, Dinah had noticed a shift in Parker a long time ago, but she also wasn’t one to push or ask questions until that person let her know specifics. Since then, Dinah has been keeping a close eye on Parker, whether the singer knows it or not Dinah doesn’t care.

Having invited Mars Bender to her establishment at the winery, the two are in her office. Dinah is seated somewhat casually in her chair behind her desk. This wasn’t a business meeting, but it was just as important. Being one of Parker’s closest friends, Dinah wanted to know how she was through his eyes, espically since he was a counselor , Dinah replied on his input. Also being one of the long lasting Belmont friendships, Dinah saw it fit to inquire about how Marshall was doing these days, as well. He cares for Parker, therefore, it made sense that Dinah would give him gratitude and reassurance that he was part of this family.

In a lapse of silence, her dry tone cuts through the air to capture the male’s attention. “- — Has anyone ever taught you to iron your shirts?” Her gaze points out the wrinkles in Mars’ fabrics. Her features are neutral, though her energy exudes disappointment. Dinah was the type of person who expected a lot from herself, and as such, others should shrive to be the same way as well. With a final sigh, Dinah sits up straight in her spot before onyx hues meet hazel hues. “In your personal opinion, how had Parker been?” Dinah doens’t need to put the emphansis on who she was talking about. There was only one person close enough that Mars and Dinah shared in common, and that person was Parker. “… And, how have you been?” The question is not necessarily forced, but it does come off as forced for the sake of conversation, which were her enemies.

“Always a pleasure, Dinah,” the male expels in return to her inquiry. Thumb ascending to knead mildly at his temple. Surely the simple black tee he was wearing could have used a favorable ironing, but quite candidly, he didn’t care. Not at this moment anyway. Though Dinah was one to strike fear upon others, she didn’t have the same influence on him. As she was a reminder of his own older sister; a little too much, really. And though the respect for the woman was most certainly harbored, there wasn’t much of an innate desire to impress. 

Her subsequent query caused Mars to involuntarily adjust his spine. Slouchy demeanor becoming more of an attentive one. Hazel orbs hyper-focusing on the other. “If I’m being honest with you, I have no idea.” Surely his answer was disappointing. It was disappointing to him as well. What was typically a super power ― the ability to read a person’s mental by a simple conversation ― was failing him terribly when it came to Parker. She was marvelous at concealment; that was a fact. “We went to LA a few days ago and uh, she seemed alright? But I really couldn’t tell you whether or not it was a show or if she was actually okay.” He pauses for a moment. Head declining back marginally as his hands folded on his lap. “When you last spoke ― how did she sound? Anything to be concerned about?” 

[mxrsbender]

text: marion📲 mars

Marion [4.38PM]: I am nothing if not tenacious :)

Marion [4.39PM]: Holy shit, why would you have coffee at six in the evening? Have dinner with me at least.

Marion [4.41PM]: Sorry, that sounded like a proposition. I promise it isn't.

Mars [4.45PM]: oh. do most people not have coffee after six? my bad.

Mars [4.47PM]: i can do dinner, sure. just tell me when & where.

[mxrsbender]

KENDALL RYAN:

If Kendall was being honest, this was how a good portion of the first sessions went. She kept everything so tightly locked up in her own life that, given the chance to unload, she couldn’t stop the flood. There had been one or two counselors who hadn’t even managed to get past that wall, but Mars was one of the lucky ones, she thought bitterly. Kendall bit back a burgeoning sarcastic comment - you literally just asked me to come to that realization - by actually biting down into the skin of her cheek. She winced slightly, but it was nothing, really. “I don’t want to fucking cry every time, if that’s what you mean by less burdensome,” she muttered. She was past that hopeless point, and was now in the biting, defensive phase - which she’d feel bad about later, and repeat the cycle. She took his offering of a wipe anyway, her face softening briefly. 

Whatever Kendall expected next, it wasn’t that. Her face betrayed the sheer confusion. “What?” She asked, thrown for a loop. None of the others did that. It was part of why she skipped sessions sometimes - she didn’t like leaving with what felt like an open wound (sometimes literally, although the half-moons she made with her nails on her palm weren’t truly bleeding). “You don’t have something like Scrabble? Word games?” A smirk somehow makes its way onto Kendall’s lips. “Uno. Jenga is way too stressful.”

“And you won’t be crying every time. Can assure you of that. Again, Kendall ― I’m here for you. To aid you. So if you call me one morning and decide you don’t want to talk at all, and would much rather ― I don’t know ― smash shit with baseball bats? I’d meet you there. With bats in tote. I’m not here to force you through anything ― just try my hand at making it all... easier.” Statement is trailed by a moderate nod of his head. A meager smile etching itself onto his tired features. “I do have scrabble, yeah. But if we’re being entirely candid here, I absolutely suck at it. Lose every single time. Without fail.”

[mxrsbender]

JJ DAVIS:

“Can we just note, that I told you to stop, multiple times, and you still told me off all those times. Literally, every time. Yet here we are.” He shook his head, cheerfully partaking in his own slice. Just because Mars couldn’t hold out meant nothing for him, obviously one of them had better control, and it wasn’t the one complaining about his lack there of. JJ coughed, half choking on his saliva and Mars’ false statements. “Excuse me, you dare spill lies in my presence? Dude, the only trash pick up game I have is picking up after you and that’s cause you’re a grown ass adult.” The man was a liar, a dirty liar. Mars, not him. Though Mars not taken and JJ, with his great pick up game, still available, was really the thing making tonight able to happen. He tossed a pillow at his friend still laughing at the trash comment he made. Who did he think he was.. “Choke on a stick, preferably not around me.” Though saving his life would definitely put him in the up hand of their friendship. “I wasn’t giving you an option, it was kinda forced, you’re in this for life now.” He grinned, shrugging. “Your love is great but money speaks louder than words, pay up.”  

“Oh fuck. You did, huh? Well ― try harder next time.” His commentary is adjoined by an exaggerated nestle of his gorged belly. Face contorting to exhibit discernible discomfort. “If I choke on this toothpick ― and die ― who the hell are you going to recruit to laugh at your jokes, huh? Or talk you out of a terrible fit before a date? You need me, JJ. The sooner you admit this, the sooner we can move forward and stand in our truths.” The friendship the two shared had been an immensely eerie reflector of the rapport he shared with his brothers. Effortless, mellow, never a stale moment. Which wasn’t much of a surprise, really. JJ was like a brother to him. Only slightly less irritating. Emphasis on slightly.

The other’s liner was met with a deadpan Mars. Features doing their absolute best not to waver. “Are you saying... my love isn’t enough for you? That it could easily be valued with currency? I’m so hurt right now.” He was only able to hold onto the impassive character for a solid two seconds before erupting into a fit of laughter once again. “I got a buck forty-five on the kitchen counter ― go on and take it. Buy yourself something pretty.”

[longbong]

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[mxrsbender]

P‌ARKER BELMONT:

      Unphased by the string of groggy complaints falling from her best friend the brunette placed herself on to the bench beside him. Her petite frame gently wiggling closer to his side, seeking the solace of his body heat from the frigid morning breeze. Normally she wore a windbreaker during the one hour and thirty-something minute ferry ride but she had forgotten it at his place during all the chaos of trying to drag Mars out of bed in time for them to catch the boat. Leaving her very little to brave the elements. Fortunately they wouldn’t have to worry about a chill once they got to Los Angeles and stayed far far far away from the ocean. Or well at least until the temperature warmed up sometime in the afternoon. “There’s an extremely comfy couch at the studio I record at as well, so, like,” the brunette began nonchalantly.

   “there will also be plenty more opportunities for you to nap. Don’t worry.” Part of her felt guilty for denying him sleep but she also dreaded the idea of having to brave yet another long ferry trip alone with her thoughts. She used to enjoy her alone time. Hell, she would even crave it really but ever since she lost the baby Parker simply couldn’t trust herself to be left under stimulated or unaccompanied for too long. “Aw, you dream about me? That’s so sweet.” Mars had said no such thing but she enjoyed purposefully playing dumb, a crooked grin dancing along her features as cold fingers tuck themselves into the flimsy material of her cotton cardigan. Her gaze falls to the packet of cigarettes dancing between his fingers partially mesmerized by the movements while her brain searched through the archive of her thoughts for something, anything, that may have entertained Mars if only to make up for the fact that she was keeping him awake. She briefly considered recapping an entire season of Keeping Up With the Kardashians but changing the names so he’d think it was people she actually knew but her mouth had other plans. “I miscarried,” Parker suddenly blurted with little to no warning. Dark brows furrow in confusion, caught off guard by her own words but now that she had spoken them, she couldn’t stop. “I had a miscarriage. It happened in September, no one knows.”

      “Well, that’s not true. I mean my doctor knows…and the friend who took me to the emergency room. Plus my sister Dinah cause…well I called her crying right after it happened but no one else knows. Not even JC. He didn’t even know I was pregnant. I was waiting for the right time to tell him? And I didn’t want to tell anyone else the news before I told him you know? But then before I could even tell anyone I miscarried. Wow, wow, why can’t I shut up? This definitely isn’t what you meant by keeping you entertained.” 

“Oh, P ― I’m only teasin,” his return grants a far-reaching grin to follow suit. Cigarette being hoisted from the cardboard vessel & placed between parted lips. “You already know I’m not the brightest morning person ― this is a fact, yeah. But despite my toddler adjacent complaints, I am more than thrilled to be spending today being your bitch boy.” Bad joke trailed by an even worse wink. Ebullient laugh emerging from his chest. 

Oh, that is not at all what he expected for the entertainment portion of this ride. Under the naive gauze that the other would instead opt to fill the idle time with senseless chatter. Or a riveting game of I spy. But this? Caught him all the way by surprise. He found himself instinctively placing an arm around Parker’s shoulder. Not to console her ― as he knew all too well that ‘consoling’ rarely ever takes away from the problem. But to let her know he was there; and he was listening. “Oh. Oh shit.” His voice emerged as some sort of hushed exhale. Unoccupied palm reaching upwards to rip the glasses from the bridge of his nose. Hues joining with Parker’s. This particular situation was not out of his realm of familiarity. Plenty of his clients had sought him out after a miscarriage. But this... hit far different. None of those people were his best friend. And now ― he found himself angry. Not at Parker ― never at Parker. But at himself. How had he not known? Not noticed any sort of sign that may have reared it’s head? How had he been so far entangled in his own fucked up sagas to not see her? There were so many questions he wanted to ask the woman, but those weren’t the priority right now. Her & her well-being was.

Before placing a tender kiss upon the crown of her head, Mars pulled the frame in marginally. Resting his chin before querying, “and how are you holding up, Belmont? Harboring something like this ― I cannot begin to fathom the toll it’s taken on you.”

[mxrsbender]

text: marion📲 mars

Marion [4.00PM]: Oh! You're a lowercase guy. Huh. Dunno what to do with this information but that's nice

Marion [4.03PM]: Of course I remember! I'm honestly disappointed that you'd underestimate my sheer force of will like that

Marion [4.05PM]: I am NOT just a dumb blonde, you know

Marion [4.07PM]: Sorry. Going off-tangent here. But yeah. Probably better if we talked in person. When r you free?

Mars [4.32PM]: marion, i can assure you that dumb blonde didn't even cross my mind.

Mars [4.32PM]: fairly buzzed individual did though. and that can, ya know, impair memory?

Mars [4.34PM]: i can do coffee any weekday after six. or the weekend at any time. what works best?

[mxrsbender]

JJ DAVIS:

@mxrsbender​ || @ Mars’ house

“We’re two attractive dudes, you’re hot, I’m decent enough, so how are we single on the so called ‘most romantic’ day of the year.” Making air quotes. Honestly, JJ didn’t have a problem with it, it gave them another chance to have a sleepover, bro’s night in if they really wanted to be extra. “You know what, I might not have a date but you’re my broentine - you know I’ve said that multiple times in my head and it still doesn’t flow as well as galentine” JJ shook his head, bringing his backpack up to his lap. “Feels like a long way to say I gotchu chocolates and no we don’t have to watch sappy romance movies.” He joked, actually pulling out a container of chocolates. “You’re lucky I didn’t open it and steal some.”

“Alright look, if I eat anymore pizza tonight, I actually think I might begin to sweat pepperoni oil. Please take this shit away from me.” Hurling the remnants of the last slice back into the box, Mars flung himself across the lounge. Teeth fiddling with a toothpick. “I know the answer to this ― I’m single because I choose to be. You’re single because your pickup game is garbage. Not a tough case to crack.” To solidify the fact that he was indeed a dumbass, the man found himself laughing hysterically at his own quip. Fingers engrossing the fragile stick of wood to ensure he didn’t swallow it. From the outside looking in, surely this bro’s night had to look marginally depressing. The two of them pondering over their lack of luck in the department of romance ― eating enough pizza to feed several families. But despite immediate judgment, JJ & Mars together ensured a good time. Guaranteed or money back. “Is this you asking me to be your broentine? Because I accept.” The man retorted; devilish grin playing upon his lifs. “Can’t lie ― I didn’t get you shit, but you have my love and I think that’s enough, yeah?”

[mxrsbender]

NATHALIA ALVES:

January 31st. It was just another day in Nathalia’s mind. A day of catching up on laundry, cleaning up the house and most importantly: Self-care day. A day where the model took the whole day to do whatever the hell she wanted. This particular day, it was the choice of face and hair masks amd a thirteen step skin care routine while soaking her roots in coconut and vanilla conditioner and soft oils. God, it was going to be so fucking good. “Oui, oui. Je vais bien maman. Je vous promets.” Nathalia speaks into her cell with her mother on the other line. Charlotte Stewart had called her daughter as a weekly check-up and had caught Nathalia as she was tugging on a pair of dark washed jeans and slipping on a black, lacy bralette after taking a thirty minute, boiling hot shower. Wrapping her hair up in a fluffy, warm towel and continues her words with a sigh. “Tu sais ce que je ressens pour mon anniversaire … C'est juste un autre jour, maman.” Other than being just another day for Nathalia, today was, in fact, her birthday. Of course Charlotte wanted to know what her only child was going to do with her ‘big day’. Before Nathalia could argue with her mother anymore, and honestly, she’s not even sure why she tried, Nathalia heard knocking at the front door that caused her to still with confusion. “C'est bizarre. Quelqu'un vient de frapper à la porte … Ce pourrait être le facteur…” She says to both Charlotte and herself. Nathalia, once more, groans into the phone before pleaying with the woman to talk about anything else. Anything in the world! Charlotte could change the subject to hot dogs and monster trucks and it would be so much better than the lecture she was receiving about how special a birthday is. Opening the door, Nathalia wasn’t expecting to see a figure standing there. In fact, her eyes were downcast to the person’s shoes because she was still thinking someone had dropped off her mail. Then, when her own chestnut hues met his mischievous hazel orbs, Nathalia’s mind goes into a stunned moment of silence. “Oooh. Ce n'est pas le facteur. Ahhh, quelqu'un de mieux.” Wrong choice of words. After that, her mother becomes a little too excited to the point where Nathalia was sure Mars was able to hear Charlotte’s fast talking speech. “Je te rappelle, maman. - Non, maman - Maman … Ok. Je raccroche maintenant. Au revoir. Au revoir maman … Au revoir!” Fumbling with her phone, Nathalia desperately tries to hangup her phone call with her mother as quickly as possible before she was able to to yell anything else in french. Her eyes gaze upon the sunflower and a card in Mars’ possession and she can’t help but think that she did not deserve any of this from Mars of all people… From the moment they parted she’s thought about their last moments together. Their last hours, their last minutes before she left to go back to L.A and meet Declan for the first time.

Slowly, Nathalia’s features melt from surprise into something a little more challenging. Alright, if she was going to enetertain the idea of celebrating her birthday, shouldn’t it be Nathalia making the shots and not Mars? Albeit, his demanding side had always been a good look on him. Gently narrowed eyes, relaxed shoulders and lazily lifting an arm against the doorframe to lean on it, she asks in her own beguiling voice, “… What if I don’t?”

A bashful grin made landing on his overworked features as he couldn’t help but release his hazel hues to scan down the frame in front of him. Right brow elevating marginally. If there was ever a moment to challenge just how tenacious his restraint was, this ― was the preeminent trial. The indelible attraction he harbored for the woman didn’t vanish when she did. Instead, it was veiled away into the dusty & dank corners of his mental; as he recognized they would never meet ‘that place’ again. Or even come remotely close ― for both of their sakes. But that still couldn’t prevent him from wondering. Wanting. Wishing, even. And fuck was it goddamn annoying. How deeply pitiful to find yourself discretely yearning for someone who payed you no real mind to begin with? 

“Ah, heureux que tu me trouves mieux que le facteur,” was all he could manage to launch from the bonds of his lips, as he offered the woman both the card and sunflower from his grip. Hues casually ― consciously ― making their way back up towards hers. Subtlety had never been a strong suit of his. “Gotta say though, mailman must love delivering for you.”  His smile is impish; body resting upon the door frame that separated them. Surely it should have been Nathalia calling the shots today; her birthday, her rules. However, Mars couldn’t help himself from taking on the burden of concocting a full day of venture for the two. Making it just one less thing for the woman to fret about. That ― and he’d never really been good at giving up control. No matter the occasion. 

Her inquiry was met with a cursory tilt of the head. Hues hyper-focused within hers. He knew exactly what he wanted to say. He knew all too fucking well. But they were friends; only friends; and it was imperative that he remained friendly. So instead, his friendly return was, “You’re saying you don’t want to spend the entire day with your good ole’ pal?”

[mxrsbender]

text: marion📲 mars

Marion [12.03PM]: Hi, there, Mars! It's me, Marion. We danced with each other at the ball a week or so back.

Marion [12.04PM]: That night was pretty blurry for me, to say the least, but I do remember you mentioning being substance abuse ＆ mental health counselor halfway through Despacito.

Marion [12.07PM]: Would it be okay to discuss something with you? Because I may need help with someone.

Mars [3.47PM]: ah, yes.

Mars [3.47PM]: can i just tell you how shocked i am that you actually heard me tell you my occupation over your extremely... vivacious... rendition of despacito?

Mars [3.48PM]: anyway, yeah what's up? more than okay to discuss anything with me. everything cool?

[mxrsbender]

P‌ARKER BELMONT:

— ☆ MARS ( a little thing called sunrise. )

      Mellow blues and pinks blurred together in a silver mist to create a perfect morning sky. The view from the ferry too beautiful for Parker to resist as she leans against a railing toward the back of the ship. Chocolate hues watching Catalina Island fade away into the distance with a cup of warm coffee breathing life back into her chilled fingers. Her usually chaotic thoughts calmed by the sounds of a sea just beginning to stir back to consciousness. She’s rarely up this early in the morning, at least not without a purpose. But with a looming deadline from her record label and increasingly building pressure from fans waiting for new material Parker felt those were purpose enough for more frequent trips to Los Angeles. More often than not she made the trek to the city and back by herself but unfortunately for Marshall Bender she had managed to trick him into tagging along. 

    Probably because she had conveniently forgotten to share the miniscule detail of their extremely early leave time. Parker could have definitely been nice and given him a few more hours of sleep before showing up at his door demanding to know why he wasn’t ready yet. It wasn’t like there was a set time she had to be in the studio. She pretty much made her own schedule when it came to recording but waiting those extra couple of hours would have also meant sharing the ferry ride with bunch of morning commuters. The trip wasn’t as peaceful when she constantly found herself being approached for pictures, autographs, and invasive questions. Finishing off the last of her coffee the brunette tossed it into the nearest recycling bin before making her way back to Mars who was exactly where she had left him, dozing off on a bench not too far from where she had wandered off to take in the scenery. 

   “Hey sleepy head, wake up. You’re supposed to be keeping me company remember? Not dreaming about…well whatever you dream about. I wanna guess….wiener dogs dressed in hot dog costumes telling you what a good boy you are.”

Only Belmont could possess the cunning cajolery influential enough to get Mars out of bed before noon on the only day off he had this week. And despite possessing such talent, the man would be sure to protest about his lack of sleep at least a dozen more times. But ― in the grand scheme of it all, he was humbly pleased to be leaving Catalina for the day. The island sometimes felt all too limited ― which only left him feeling stuck and confined. Don’t get him wrong though; he throughly enjoyed life on the island. The steady & placid bustle; with the coffee shops where the baristas always knew your name and order. Needless to say, however, some of the very best things in life need to be stepped away from ― even if only for a moment. 

So there he was ― knocked the fuck out under the unforgiving rays of the California sun as it began to peel away from the clouds ― when his slumber was rudely disordered by a dainty brunette. “Parker, I’ll be with you all day. There will be plenty more opportunities for me to keep you company.” His voice is muffled from the sleeve of his denim jacket. Opposite arm being thrown gingerly across the back of tattered bench. “I dream about peaceful naps while on a ferry ride to the city with zero disturbances from my beautifully irritating best friend. Wild and crazy shit, eh?” With an exaggerated groan leaving the confinement of his chest, the male sat upright completely. Frame slouching in the bench while simultaneously placing his sunglasses back upon the bridge of his nose. Though he was giving Parker a difficult time about his lack of sleep, Mars understood entirely why it was necessary for the two of them to get the ferry with the least amount of people. Her star power made it incredibly difficult for the two of them to do just about anything without hoards of bodies being thrown towards her in hopes of photos or autographs or disgustingly invasive inquiries about her personal life. How the fuck did he end up so closely aligned with multiple prominent figures when he straight up looked homeless a solid eighty percent of his life?

He hoists a box of smokes from his jacket pocket; toying with the vessel between his fore fingers. “Alright, you got me up. How do you plan on keeping me entertained now, hm?”

[monicas]

Oh, Hello on Broadway (2017)

[themilesellis]

ft. @mxrsbender