max tilton @mxtilton - Tumblr Blog

vcsqucz‌:

daya was making sure everyone was safe , inside , first . those who couldn’t fight , who didn’t know how , the kids . then she ran to her room to grab her rifle - a small pistol would do nothing with a horde like this , and it was better to strike from a distance . the panting was what had her twirling on her feet , looking at max with a wide eyed look . ❝ beat you to the thought . ❞ the deputy spoke calmly , arming herself with a loud click as the magazine was locked into the urbana . ❝ how’s it looking out there , max ? ❞ moving to pass the guardian , free hand tapping his shoulder for him to follow . it couldn’t look great - and she was shamelessly expecting an ugly answer .

Max took comfort in that sound, that familiar click signaling safety and protection. Daya was ready, so Max felt ready. Ready enough, anyways. “Uh...” She stepped past him, tapping his shoulder, and he turned to follow. “I wouldn’t say good, but I wouldn’t say we’re completely unprepared either,” he admitted, keeping one hand on his gun. It felt better, he couldn’t help it.

#( trained to do what's best — convo )#daya #vcsqucz

rcthless‌:

the second cas had heard of the hoard on its way to destroy the very place she had thought to be somewhat safe, she had run to every camp, scavenging the supplies she had hidden in each. it was a safety protocol for her, something that came naturally— if it’s not needed now, it’ll be needed later. she was on her last trip, BALFOUR, hiding away in an old room and looking for some cans she had left behind last week, when the man boomed in panting. of course, she wanted to say NO, but she had brought herself to play this role, and if the camps were to survive, it would be a tragedy for her for others to find out her t r u e n a t u r e. so, with a fake smile plastered on her lips, she turned around. “ of course. anything to help. ” the words were fake, filled with no emotion and hiding the fact that the last thing she wanted to do was save this place, but her face was the cover. her smile, so seemingly genuine. she shoved her bag to the ground. “ got a gun ? ”

Max had seen Cas around a few times, but as far as he knew she was just staying at camp until all this chaos was over. And in his opinion, if you were here, you helped. She was here.

He had a feeling she probably rather wouldn’t, but he wasn’t about to give her much of a choice. Not to mention her smile said otherwise. “Yeah, follow me,” he said with a relief almost palpable. “Thanks. It’s really hectic around here.”

#( trained to do what's best — convo )#cas #rcthless

unfatcd‌:

claire had just finished giving orders to the camps sentinals— do not shoot unless absolutely necessary. they didn’t need to risk the attention of the whole hoard. if they were able to wait it out, then that’s what they were going to do. it was chaotic within balfour, to say the least. they were going to be hit first, if not the hardest. it was useless trying to fight them off if they were greatly outnumbered. she was hoping to get just a moment’s rest when max had entered her quarters.

“okay, i’ll see what i can do. in the meantime, get everyone in the main building. make sure that’s what they’re prioritizing, and putting up blockades on all the windows and exits to it. we can’t risk them catching our scent by going back in and forth between buildings. it’ll be uncomfortable, but if it’ll keep as much people alive, then i’m okay with them being unhappy with me for a few days.”

Max nodded, repeating each order over in his head so he wouldn’t forget anything. “Got it. But if they do catch our scent...” He stood in the doorway, ready to run back and tell everyone the plan. He didn’t want to think about it, but they had no choice. “If they do and we’re all in one place, then we’re not going to last long.”

#( trained to do what's best — convo )#claire #unfatcd

Max could feel a stroke coming on every time he blinked. He was running back and forth across the extent of Balfour’s boundaries trying to coordinate all the sentinels and keep everyone sane — saner than he even felt. Breathless from a run from their front line back to the main buildings, he stuck his head in his last hope’s doorway and panted, “We need more people that can shoot without wasting bullets. Can you come help me out? Please?”

#hells.pdstarter #this is terrible but it's here #he wants to save the day #( & he is simply not brave enough — headcanons )#starter

enervatism‌:

COMFORT FINDS HIM, despite the other’s silence. he feels no judgment coming from the other — no, only COMPASSION — and that truly makes all the difference in the world. eventually, the unsteady shakes grow steady and abrupt breaths become easy. it’s only a matter of time before everything else falls into place and gabriel’s back to NORMAL — relatively speaking, of course. eyes glanced over to max, his words sinking in, but not completely mattering to him. he knew that he was allowed to be soft, to fall apart every now and then — he simply just HATED doing it in front of others. no matter how well he knew them, there was always a fear, a regret of showing any signs of weakness. he trusted max, hell it was basically max’s job to protect the heads of the camp, but there was still a deep-rooted fear built within his mind. he felt SHAME to have done it over something as simple as killing, especially when he should be used to it by now. ❝ yeah, you’re right, ❞ gabriel admits with a slow nod. ❝ you think he’s got anything … useful on him ? ❞ he almost doesn’t want to even ask the question, but if the cure were laying safely in the dead man’s pockets, it would definitely be an opportunity MISSED.

Max didn’t want to make Gabriel uncomfortable — apparently, he was good at that — so he just tried to look at the body between them. He couldn’t blame Gabe for having a... Well, breakdown, or whatever it was. This still didn’t sit well with him, no matter how many more bodies dropped every day. “I think we should check,” he suggested, despite the way it made him feel. Guilty. Like something was squirming in the back of his brain. “Pockets first?”

#awww thank youuu #you're too sweet #( trained to do what's best — convo )#gabriel #gabe #enervatism

positivitly

books i read in 2016-2017 : the things they carried by tim o’brien

War is hell, but that’s not the half of it, because war is also mystery and terror and adventure and courage and discovery and holiness and pity and despair and longing and love. War is nasty; war is fun. War is thrilling; war is drudgery. War makes you a man; war makes you dead.

#( he is the weak spot in loyalty & courage — inspo )#( & if they win it will be pyrrhic — aesthetic )#( just ignore the immorality — quotes )#( citizen of the dead grey land — musings )#( soldiers win the battle & generals take the credit — the allegiant )#( silent in awe of this terrible power — images )

enervatism‌:

❝ i’m sure he’ll understand. ❞

+ @mxtilton

THERE’S WARMTH within the walls of balfour. there’s a certain softness that he still feels within the walls and for that, gabriel is truly GRATEFUL. however, no amount of warmth can truly melt away the sins of the outbreak, sins that he would never have committed had death and chaos NOT taken over the world the way it did. but it did, and now gabriel towers over the lifeless body of a man, someone who one had a family, feelings … it was all so SURREAL, the more he thought about it. but now ? now his body laid to rot, the skin DETERIORATING INTO NOTHINGNESS. it was sad, heartbreaking even. ❝ i hope so, ❞ gabriel nodded, adrenaline finally slowing and leaving his body. ❝ thank you, max, ❞ he nodded, COMPOSURE slowly returning. ❝ sorry you had to see me . . . so freaked out. ❞

Max stood stone still at Gabriel’s side, wishing he could say something more to help him cope. But Max wasn’t cut out to be comforting. He could make all the right moves, sure, he knew what to do. He just didn’t think he could help that much. But the older man seems to calm down, Max could see the signs in his body language. Shoulders, hands, and especially face all told him it was going to be okay.

He shook his head, lost for words for a moment. “Don’t apologize. We’re all allowed to freak out from time to time, with the world... like this.”

#i love soft bois #more than i can tell you #this is perfection #( trained to do what's best — convo )#enervatism #gabriel #gabe

prditflorem‌:

“ i’ll get some flowers for our camp soon, i feel like it would liven up the place a bit more i mean we’re all alive and we should act like it instead of acting as if we were just as dead as the walkers”, sure aster knew that life was different now and it was never going to be the same but that wasn’t going to stop her from living her best life or trying to at least.

aster nodded at the question and smiled before turning some of the pages of the sketchbook to reveal the landscaped with the locations written underneath them “ i was born in greece then my mom took me back to australia when i was old enough. they’re pretty amazing places, if there wasn’t an outbreak i would really recommend going but this is the best thing we’ve got now”. aster really missed her home, both her homes and if she could go back she would but she’d be going back to a whole lot of emptiness

“You’re right about that.” Max had to agree with her there. He knew he could sometimes be just as cadaverous as the next guy, but he wasn’t always like that. Bad days and good days, just like everyone else. It was better, though, to have an outlook like Aster or Delilah. They brought brightness wherever they went. Max wasn’t like that. He brought... At most, a watchful eye. Good for the end of the world. Not so much for everyday life.

Max looked on as she flipped through, fascinated. He’d never had skill like that. Drawing or something creative. He was good at doing what he was told. Good at reading people. “I doubt I’ll ever make it there, but I will gladly enjoy your art instead,” he said with a genuine smile.

#( trained to do what's best — convo )#aster #perditlforem

m-l-rio

A true war story is never moral. It does not instruct, nor encourage virtue, nor suggest models of proper human behavior, nor restrain men from doing the things men have always done. If a story seems moral, do not believe it. If at the end of a war story you feel uplifted, or if you feel that some small bit of rectitude has been salvaged from the larger waste, then you have been made the victim of a very old and terrible lie. There is no rectitude whatsoever. There is no virtue. As a first rule of thumb, therefore, you can tell a true war story by its absolute and uncompromising allegiance to obscenity and evil.

Tim O’Brien, The Things They Carried (via m-l-rio)

#( he is the weak spot in loyalty & courage — inspo )#( just ignore the immorality — quotes )

tenderbled‌:

she rises with the birds , the brink of dawn and the blonde is already bouncing around the balfour camp with an energy that is unnatural ; it was a habit she acquired prior to the outbreak and it’s a habit that’s been hard to break — dead walking the earth or not , it’s routine for delilah to be up before others & to get the day started ; call her the mother hen , but she enjoys it. she enjoys the atmosphere of her camp mates beginning their days , their jobs — and she doesn’t mind how much she has to pitch in to ease them into fighting another day , into helping them to KEEP FIGHTING.

max among them. if there’s anyone in this place , apart from aster , that delilah is INTENT on supporting , it’s the drowsy male in front of her. ( she doesn’t have siblings to worry about or a family to care for , so it seems she’s made a new one. ) ❛ you’re welcome. ❜ legs come to cross beneath her as she seats herself at the foot of his bed , fingers wrapping themselves around the cup to secure the warmth filling her palms. ❛ wait — you actually want me to turn into the energizer bunny? oh you must really love to be tortured. ❜ a laugh emits from the girl , before she brings the cup up to her lips. ❛ but uh-huh — one day you won’t have to forget though , because it’ll just become NORMALITY again. coffee & starbucks and traffic & bills — don’t you think? ❜ she likes to think so , but then , delilah rosenberg is destined to feel so HOPEFUL for a promising future in this cruel one , that the thought of it ever not moving on from the way it was now is completely improbable in her mind.

He shifts so Delilah can sit, curling his legs up underneath him. He moves slowly so he doesn’t spill the drink she got him — the perfect start to the day. Once upon a time, it was the perfect start to every day. He took another slow sip, letting the warmth roll down his throat and fill his empty stomach.

It took him a few more moments to fully wake up, but he finally catches up with her energizer bunny attitude. Most days, he can match her stride for stride. But where Delilah talks at a mile a minute, Max hardly talks at all. He gives a small shrug at her ideas for the future, smiling sadly. Starbucks and traffic and bills...

“I hope,” he said simply, hiding his doubts behind another sip. Even if they could find a cure, or a vaccine, or some kind of treatment, Max didn’t think things would ever go back to the way they were. Not with all the people they’d lost. His whole life, only one person had ever been family to him, and she was gone for a long time now. But he had Delilah. He had Claire. “But if our hopes are right, you’re still not getting rid of me.”

#( trained to do what's best — convo )#delilah #tenderbled #these two #my HEART #can't take it

gqandw

You take up the most room in my heart.

mxtilton

@tenderbled

#i had to #srry #( he is the weak spot in loyalty & courage — inspo )#( citizen of the dead grey land — musings )#( every good soldier is antiwar — mentions )

negligcnt‌:

eloise had LIKED to claim she didn’t need any friends to make it in this world- she needed allies, resources… not SOCIALIZATION. alas, she was still a teenager- a teenager who was accustomed to constant & consistent human interaction … so having someone like MAX on hand was useful when she needed someone to forcefeed her adolescent anguish. ❝ good- i handcarve all arrows for myself… ❞ english sloshed uncomfortably on her tomgue as she loaded another arrow without missing a beat, drawing her arm back more confidently now as she took her shot and sniped yet another one of the undead corpses. ❝ - how did this even HAPPEN?? ❞

She was damn good, there was no denying it. And he wasn’t about to argue with the girl who had the arrows. They weren’t that close. But he also couldn’t deny he was starting to warm up to her company. Little by little.

Arrow by arrow — as she took down another shambling creature. A few of them still could pass for living, for human. Not this one. Max almost laughed at her question. “Which part? The walking dead or me grudgingly asking for your help?”

#( trained to do what's best — convo )#eloise #negligcnt

therealcassporter‌:

“ don’t shoot me, I won’t shoot you.”

the words echoed in her ear as she scoffed.

he didn’t know how funny his words were to her.

she wouldn’t shoot, not him at least. he wouldn’t

be the way she popped her cherry.

‘ camp? what camp are y’talkin’ bout?’ she asked

him, hand squeezing the gun in her hand, not that

she planned on using it any time soon. she only

held the gun like the weapon it was because he

held his.

She didn’t seem to believe him — no big deal — he didn’t believe her either. “Survivor camp,” he said warily. Who was she not to know about the ragtag little groups that had scattered and formed up across the county? It didn’t seem quite right. “A bunch of us holed up in Louisville.” He was careful not to tell her exactly where. Plus, she wasn’t the only one who had questions.

“And where are you coming from? Going to?”

#sorry about the cutting #idk what happened tbh #( trained to do what's best — convo )#cass #therealcassporter

soracities

Sophocles, Elektra (trans. Anne Carson)

mxtilton

@tenderbled

#( citizen of the dead grey land — musings )#( just ignore the immorality — quotes )#( he is the weak spot in loyalty & courage — inspo )#( soldiers win the battle & generals take the credit — the allegiant )

wordsnquotes

I enjoy controlled loneliness. I like wandering around the city alone. I’m not afraid of coming back to an empty flat and lying down in an empty bed. I’m afraid of having no one to miss, of having no one to love.

Kuba Wojewódzki (via mczarts)

#( citizen of the dead grey land — musings )#( he is the weak spot in loyalty & courage — inspo )#( just ignore the immorality — quotes )#( soldiers win the battle & generals take the credit — the allegiant )

gvgvdans

- ; phrases that really hit you where it hurts

“ did you really have to be that honest? ” “ every time i see you i just feel more alone. ” “ you changed me. ” “ was this all just a joke to you? ” “ i don’t want to know. ” “ can we start over? ” “ you make me feel so insecure. ” “ i don’t know if i can love you. ” “ every time i wake up i’m reaching for you … but you’re never there. ” “ of course it meant something! ” “ stop yelling! ” “ i gave up on you a long time ago. ” “ you think i care about you? cute. ” “ did you just forget about me or something? ” “ i still need you. ” “ i wanna say that there’s still hope but sometimes things just don’t go your way. ” “ you said you would keep trying! ” “ no, you ARE strong. ” “ you promised me! ” “ fine. you’ll never see me again, okay? ” “ i gave you everything i had. ” “ your eyes can be so cruel … ” “ i can never do anything right can i !? ” “ i want my life back. ” “ stop crying. ” “ you should go. ” “ don’t come back. ” “ does hurting me make you feel good or something? ” “ just stop it. ” “ i was never in love with you now leave me alone! ”

mxtilton

kelly | antonia

#( citizen of the dead grey land — musings )

therealcassporter‌:

open;

she didn’t often leave the manor.

there was no point for her to be

out, but when it was the apocalypse…

you do what you’ve got to do.

and what she had to do was help out.

scavenge. what the boss says goes

in this new world.

she was used to holding a gun, skilled at it even.

looking the part.

that she could do. that she was made to do.

but actually pulling the trigger?

‘ hey! ‘ she hissed, brows furrowing at

the sight of the other. ‘ what are y’thinkin’?? ‘

Max hated being away from camp when Claire was there — his entire job was to be at her side when she needed him, after all. But sometimes other things came first. With other scavengers recovering, Max volunteered to help. It was the least he could do.

He didn’t expect to run into anyone way out here to the north. But here he was facing a girl with a gun. As soon as he had heard her footsteps, he’d drawn his weapon. And now he pointed at her and she pointed at him.

“What am I thinking?” he repeated, bewildered. “I’m just trying to get back to my camp before dark. Don’t shoot me, I won’t shoot you.”

#( trained to do what's best — convo )#cass #therealcassporter

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