GLAZED EYES continued to stare into space, still staring at the fridge even as he hears someone trudge down the hall towards him. painted lips fixed in a permanent frown as he hears his name being called by a familiar voice….a familiar voice but the tone was ODD. he didn’t like it, he didn’t like the tone that was attached to the voice – why ?? what was it that he hated so much about it ??
CONCERN FROM his bully…the man that made his life a living nightmare for years. his hands curled into fists, faux concern….he didn’t want XIAOCHENG’S pity. he didn’t want ANYONE’S pity. his lips turned from a frown into a hard scowl, “you’re not my mother,” he sneered, words slightly slurred, “why the fuck do you care when i get home ??” he asked, head turning to look at the standing male.
WHILE HIS tone showed anger towards his roommate, his eyes flickered between frustration and upset. he wanted to continue to HATE on xiaocheng and blame him for everything that went wrong…but xiaocheng apologized and repented, groveled even. he begged and begged for yunting’s forgiveness while facing yunting’s abrasive words and harsh retorts, he continued to repent….he can’t continue to be angry at someone who regretted everything he did.
NO, HE wasn’t angry at xiaocheng, he was angry with himself. he was angry that he couldn’t continue to blame xiaocheng for everything going wrong in his life and that meant he had to blame himself. “i hate you,” he said, “i hate you so much, i hate it when you care about me. i hate it when you take the step to make sure i’m okay,” he said, eyes downcast. gritting his teeth, his breathing hard and shallow, “i hate that you apologized and that you repented. i hate that i can’t be angry with you anymore.”
XIAO STIFFENS his sigh as he listens to the other. he was drunk, that was clear just by looking at him let alone the words he speaks. he looks pissed off and of course, xiao knew he was the reason and so when yunting gave him attitude for caring, it was only expected. he tries not to show that the other’s words get to him as much as they did. after all, he was used to being pushed aside by yunting no matter how much he showed he cared or changed.
“YUNTING, YOU’VE been drinking... you should just go lay down...” he trails off, voice still rather quiet. the last thing he really wants to do is make him more upset than he already seemed to be and xiao had a habit of just opening his mouth and making things worse --- either with what he said or how he said it, he never failed to get on yunting’s nerves it seemed. but then yunting continued to talk and it catches the male off guard.
DID HE actually mean what he was saying?? would it be foolish of xiao to actually believe the words coming from his roommates mouth?? after all, yunting was intoxicated... but then again, sometimes that lead people to finally open up and say what was truly on their mind. “then...don’t be angry with me,” he responds with a small shrug. soon, he moves around the kitchen, grabbing a glass and filling it up halfway with water before he kneels down in front of yunting and holds the glass out.
“I KNOW it’s easier said than done, considering everything but....” he trails off, soon shaking his head and averting his eyes. “i should just shut up, shouldn’t i?”