hand of god

liv | 16 | entp | nj | apa '19

[girlidiotdotcom-deactivated2023]

the girls in madoka magica die in breast size order largest to smallest

[cosmicotton]

survival of the flattest 

[memethiefsteve]

[hewasnumberwan-deactivated20170]

Why is this the type of humor I enjoy

[a-horn-in-f]

calmly???????????

[illbebachinaminuet-deactivated2]

My life rn

[klavierr]

rip

[bitchycode]

[little-vvitch]

this is the 2016 apology post. reblog in 45 seconds and 2016 will apologize to you in the form of money.

[swiftembers]

How could I ask for more? Lifetime of laughter at the expense of the death of a bachelor..

[akai-neko-deactivated20181204]

PLEASE READ AND REBLOG!!!!!

Put your car keys beside your bed at night. Tell your spouse, your children, your neighbors, your parents, your Dr’s office, the check-out girl at the market, everyone you run across. Put your car keys beside your bed at night. If you hear a noise outside your home or someone trying to get in your house, just press the panic button for your car. The alarm will be set off, and the horn will continue to sound until either you turn it off or the car battery dies. This tip came from a neighborhood watch coordinator. Next time you come home for the night and you start to put your keys away, think of this: It’s a security alarm system that you probably already have and requires no installation. Test it. It will go off from most everywhere inside your house and will keep honking until your battery runs down or until you reset it with the button on the key fob chain. It works if you park in your driveway or garage. If your car alarm goes off when someone is trying to break into your house, odds are the burglar/rapist won’t stick around. After a few seconds, all the neighbors will be looking out their windows to see who is out there and sure enough the criminal won’t want that. And remember to carry your keys while walking to your car in a parking lot. The alarm can work the same way there. This is something that should really be shared with everyone. Maybe it could save a life or a sexual abuse crime.

[50starsand13bars-deactivated201]

I don’t care what your blog theme is, this can save someone’s life and needs to be spread

[boxofpigeons]

Excuse me but what is this doing in the potato tag

that does not look like a fucking potato to me

[staartreek-deactivated20170602]

why were you in the potato tag

[boxofpigeons]

[astronomyproblems]

Idk if this counts as a peeve more of an art-astronomy pet peeve

but when people draw the cresent moon and where the dark, shaddowed part of the moon is they put in stars

like studdenly that part of the moon is invisible instead of just being in the shadow

like wtf

[pastelmercutio]

wait no peOPLE ACTUALLY DO THIS???

[parfaerie]

 really stupid question though but like, aren’t there stars in front of the moon??? like??? space isn’t two dimensional so someone putting a couple stars in front of the shadow wouldn’t necessarily be wrong?? because aren’t there stars all around in space and?????? im just going to be confused forever frick uvu; 

[killer-pineapples-blog]

hun if there was a star infront of the moon we’d be fucking dead

[achillesvevo-deactivated2020090]

i’m fucking crying

[needlekind]

WE WENT BOWLING AFTER DINNER FOR MY BIRTHDAY AND THERE WERE LIKE FORTY FURRIES THERE DOING, LIKE, SOMETHING OR ANOTHER I DON’T EVEN KNOW BUT THEY WERE BOWLING IN THEIR FURSUITS AND DOING VERY WELL ACTUALLY?????

[needlekind]

they did a big group shot and invited me over to take pictures because i had taken selfies with a ton of them and then fuckin jess told them it was my birthday and they inviTED ME INTO THE GROUP SHOT AND LONG STORY SHORT HERE’S A PICTURE OF ME, PRINCESS OF THE FURRIES

[needlekind]

so after posting this i found out that this is a thing that occurs monthly at this particular bowling alley because since this post BLEW RIGHT THE HELL UP and a few people found me and invited me to come back sometime?!?! this month’s furbowl (those are things, they’re called furbowls) happened to be last saturday and i was working a 12-hour closing shift that day but i showed up at the end of the night while they were already in the middle of the big group shot outside and they were about to disperse but i sprinted over asking them to hold still for just another second so i could get a picture and one of them screamed “YOU CAME BACK!!!!!!!” and, long story short, my reign continues supreme

(one of them owned that school bus; it had duct tape over the letters so it could be the “cool bus” and they called it the “waggin’ wagon”)

[gamma-the-penguin-deactivated20]

This story keeps getting better and better

[spiritestssss-deactivated201407]

“you’re an adult now”

[smoothierox]

“you need to choose a career”

[kingkitsu-deactivated20170703]

“you need to make your own doctor’s appointment”

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

“where do you see yourself in five years”

slightly dehydrated, eating refried beans out of a can in an abandoned old metal trailer in the desert. My look can be described as “grungey power ranger shounen.” With me are four other people with similar aesthetics, dipping their feet in a duct-taped wading pool and sharing a cooler of popsicles. Against a cinder-block fire-pit that may or may not shelter multiple rattlesnakes leans a bright yellow vespa that may or may not be able to hover, and a goat is chewing on what’s left of a potted plant just outside the trailer’s front door. On an old radio with antenna longer than I am tall, tuned into an un-locatable radio station, my chemical romance crackles in and out. The government thinks I’m dead and my student loans are void. Things are good.

[spiritscraft-deactivated2025031]

The ending really floored me.

[youjustgotthebiz]

The life.

[shez-a-dove-deactivated20161204]

i hope im a positive influence on somebody’s life

[neutralgender]

look at this blatant heterophobia on neopets dot com

[h8moshofficial-deactivated20161]

[linrenzo]

WHY WOULD YALL DO THIS I SCREAMED

[heatsnout]

so apparently “meme” is an affectionate southern word for grandma an d i just

i just found these

[jillssmile]

I’d like to step in for a moment and say that the southern pronunciation is “meemee” not “meem” as it is for our precious internet garbage. So like, it is spelled the same but grammy isn’t walking around getting called “meem”

[thevictoryfire88]

Thank you!

[no698-deactivated20241214]

And I’m used to it being spelled “Mimi”

[pomeranian2]

[sashayed]

My name is Calfe & Im too young to know yet what do  with my Toung! So till my Mom say “Dont Do That!” Ill stick it out And lik this cat.

[sashayed]

My little Calfe, Im proud of yu– yur living like the Big Cows do. Yur doing just what Mom have said– for yu lik cat, and cat 

lik bred.

[lierdumoa]

Bad meme execution. 0/5 stars.

These poems are supposed to be imitative of 17th/18th century middle English poetry (pre-dating dictionaries and formalized spelling conventions) not early 2000s chatspeak, not babytalk.

These poems are also supposed to be in iambic diameter, giving them a pleasing songlike rhythm. The above has inconsistent syllabic structure from line to line.

These attributes are clearly illustrated in the prime:

So tired of people on this website and their flagrant disregard for syllabic structure.

No respect for the craft.

[sashayed]

1. first of all, how dare you. i would never, N E V E R, put forth a cow poem with inconsistent syllabic structure. these may not be my finest work, but the iambic dimeter is IMPECCABLE. check my scansion again and come back to me. I guess “know what do yet” is not ideal, but it falls within the constraints of the form. i’m genuinely appalled by this. i have SEEN inconsistent scansion in this meme, i do NOT approve of it and i have NOT done it. how dare you. HOW DAR EYOU!!!

[sashayed]

Secondly: it is not absurd to suppose that the linguistic constraints of a Cow Poem would depend on the figure to whom Cow speaks. In the original (and perfect) “i lik the bred,” the narrative cow, like a Chaucerian non-characterized narrator, directs her speech to an imagined and unspecific listener; not to “the men,” who are characters within the poem, but to some more general audience. (See the Canterbury Tales prologue for an example of this voice in action.) 

Later, poem_for_your_sprog has Cow address contemporaries like “dog.” You will notice that the voice of Cow varies slightly, in speaking to Dog, from her voice in the original “I lik the bred.” WHY, then, can we not extrapolate that Calfe – who is, after all, a narrator of limited capacity, being only a Baby Cow with a Baby Cow’s simplicity – would have its own variant voice? And why, too, would Cow not speak differently to her own Calfe than she does to an animal peer, or to reverent imaginary auditors? These are experiments within an emerging form – flawed experiments, certainly, but not mistakes ipso facto. Again: HOW DARE YOU!!!!!!!!

[sashayed]

my name is Cow, and as yu see, its worth yor tiyme to studye me. but if yu dont like what yu red, take 2 deep breths and lik the bred.

[allthingslinguistic]

my name is Meme and i combyne the academe and asinyne. Calfe, Dog, Cat, Cow  and Interned the tyme is now 

to lik the bred