Real Shit We've Said and Done

Definitely a work in progress! This is a blog I will use to document the things that my SO and I say to each other and our general banter. Things we send back and forth to each other. It's more of a record for my use but I figure they're fun enough to share with the world at times. I have a lot queued up already so it'll post on its own for the next few weeks! Sorry there's not a whole lot of content yet!

[my-relationship-reality]

Me: (Lying on the bed with my head hanging off upside down)

Him: (Places his penis on my forehead)

Me: Is this how you get pink eye??

[my-relationship-reality]

Me: DEAL WITH IT

Me: 8)

Him: Oh

Him: My

Him: God

Him: Tell me you didn't just use 8) to simulate a pair of sunglasses

Me: I did

Me: And you're dating me

Me: so deal with it 8)

Him: God damnit

[my-relationship-reality]

Two unrelated images. That is all. 

[my-relationship-reality]

Him:I'm gonna be hanging at ezra's till about 9 tonight so don't panic

Me: PANIC?

Me: PANIIIIICCC?!

Him: NO

Him: NO NEED TO PANIC

Him: WHAT DID I JUST SAY

Me: FLOOR IT???

Me: FLOOR IT!!!!

[my-relationship-reality]

Continuation of mushy shit. 

[my-relationship-reality]

Recent Fight

In case you were wondering, the most intense argument my boyfriend and I have had recently was about whether or not it was “more tart” or “tarter”. 

It is still an unsettled argument. 

Don’t be like us. 

[my-relationship-reality]

You knew what you were following. You knew you were getting mushy shit. 

[my-relationship-reality]

Okay but looking through EVERY SINGLE MEDIA FILE I'VE EVER RECEIVED ON SKYPE... I honestly have to pause and wonder a couple of times… Who does that dick belong to?

Me

[my-relationship-reality]

[my-relationship-reality]

Me: Of course I get a pimple only 2 days before seeing you for the first time in weeks...

Him: I think you're beautiful

Me: Okay but like it's a BIG pimple

[my-relationship-reality]

Gotta love the edited memage

[my-relationship-reality]

Making Murder Threats

Him: Uh huh sure

Removed 8:52:36 PM Me: This message has been removed.

Me: That's all I'm going to say.

Him: Wait what did the removed message say

Him: Wait a sec

Him: You removed all the messages saying you'd kill me

Me: I guess you'll never know.

Him: and make it look like an accident

Me: What the fuck are you talking about??

Him: so that there would be no evidence

Him: I know your game

Me: Um what?

Him: which is why I took screenshots

Me: Baby I don't see any removed messages

Him: Uh huh sure

Him: I'm watching you

Me: Okay then...

Me: This message has been removed.

Me: Hahahhahahaha

[my-relationship-reality]

[my-relationship-reality]

Okay so there was a huge difference between him KNOWING about the tumblr and actually finding it...... 

[meladoodle]

someone is trying to convince me that the name ‘glen’ is short for 'glenjamin’ and i cant stop laughing

[my-relationship-reality]

I was fucking right. 

[my-relationship-reality]

Him: Lol People who say the wrong long form of nicknames... Len is not short for Lenjamin.

Me: Wait did you mean Glenn? Like Glenn for Glennjamin? I saw that post and I'm pretty sure it was "Glenn".

Him: No it was Len.

Me: Nobody is called "Len" it's like Lenny or Leonard. It's not a name.

Him: Yes it is! *googles it on some random baby site* SEE Len is short for Lennix or Leonard... It means ...

Me: Oh fuck no Lennix? That's like a name bored parents name their children with the sole purpose of fucking up their resumes like 20 years down the road.

Him: IT IS ON THE WEBSITE IT IS A REAL NAME, _____. IT MEANS _______.

Me: WELL OKAY NO BECAUSE APPARENTLY MY NAME MEANS FUCKING "CLIFF" ON THOSE SITES SO YOU CAN'T TAKE SHIT FROM THEM ANYWAY

Him: WELL CLIFF SEEMS TO FIT BECAUSE YOU'RE ALWAYS JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS

[my-relationship-reality]

He knows about the tumblr.

Me: Baby I love you but I think I would rather take a bullet to the foot than let my friends see some of our conversations

Him: Oh Same. _____ would have a field day.

Me: All of the others I SHOW my friends because we're both fucking hilarious.