[loveprideanddeepfriedchicken]

I think I’ll try defining gravity

[barricadefairytales]

THIS IS THE PUN OF ALL PUNS EVERYBODY CAN GO HOME NOW

[lightlybow]

Them: Oh you don’t want this cat. He’s wild and he bites everyone and he’ll never just sit nicely in your lap. He’s a project cat. 

 Me: That’s okay, I’m a project person. 

 Two weeks later:

He won’t leave.

[gokuma]

@donskoi

[matt-the-blind-cinnamon-roll]

Tell us your secret oh great kitty whisperer.

[lightlybow]

Step one: let him hide or shy away from you if he wants to. He wouldn’t let me touch him for a couple days after we got back from the shelter. His comfort was more important than me getting to touch him.

Step two: make yourself nonthreatening. In my case this meant being very quiet, bringing food and lying down on the ground within his eyesight as an invitation to investigate.

Step three: watch his body language and don’t do things that make him uncomfortable. Turns out my cat often bit when he was overstimulated so I made sure not to overwhelm him.

Step four: draw lines, but not with brute force. Even though his biting wasn’t meant to hurt, I wanted to make sure he wouldn’t injure anyone in the future. So I decided when he bit me, I’d yelp “ow!” And then withdraw all physical contact for a few minutes, sometimes leaving the room. Now he never bites, but sometimes he puts his teeth on my hand and then thinks better of it.

Step five: provide a good outlet for destructive behaviors. Aka PLAY WITH HIM, SEVERAL TIMES A DAY.

Step six: be patient.

Step seven: get lucky and somehow pick up the best cat in the entire shelter. I don’t know how it happened but he’s a godsend. He’s literally cuddled me out of a panic attack. We both really needed each other.

[whitmerule]

this is basically it??? for any animal. and human. both of you get to set boundaries for what you’re comfortable with, both of you respect those boundaries, and the goal is not ‘oh i get to pet the kitty’ or ‘oh i made the parrot talk’ but ‘we have a good solid relationship where we understand each other and are both happy’???

[mrsokiedoke]

I don’t get how this isn’t inherent in most people’s interactions with animals. I never actively thought about it until I started working with our hawk at work, and he’s a sensitive guy (read: wild, but unreleasable animal). It’s taken me almost a year to get to the point we are now.

Started out by bringing his food to him. In hawk world, food = awesome. I would bring his food and chat with him while I cleaned up leftovers and pellets. Then I would go into his mew, sit on the stump, and read a children’s book aloud to him. I use a calm, low voice, even if it’s just to tell him what a handsome boy he is, and how he’s so good at being a bird.

Then it progressed to me taking steps closer to his perch, and placing a mouse next to him for his lunch. Then I would try to just stand there a few minutes without him baiting (hunching to fly).

Then I progressed to touching his feet and anklets. Then I put on the glove and put it in front of him. He now hops on to my glove and will sit for upwards of a minute, untethered.

(As an added bonus now, if I’m ever feeding him mice, I offer one by hand, and he takes it with his beak and transfers it to his talons.)

Now we are working on me being able to put the leads through his anklets, which he isn’t too keen on, but I’m taking it slow every day, and respecting his mood and personal space.

Animals don’t exist for our personal amusement. People sometimes get surprised when their hissy, bitey cat will lay on my lap, but it’s just a matter of respect for the animal’s autonomy and space. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[mybandneedsaname]

that bird tried to kill stuart little and i will not forgive him

[a-medvezhonok]

If “Hozier” and “Florence + the machine” ever did a collab, it would be so dangerous to listen to anywhere apart from the middle of a forest, as moss would just start appearing around you, and branches would just grow from any surface you looked at

[benadryl-enjoyer]

my favorite thing about this post is the quotations because they imply that these two are something other than what they tell us and that’s exactly what ageless dieties of the forests would do

[lesbiancousin]

*walks up to straight couple* which one of you is the bee and which one of you is the fully grown adult woman who left her fiance for the bee?

[veryfunnymemes]

[mybandneedsaname]

Just @ drake next time

[twitterlols]

[mybandneedsaname]

so i started writing this song about an old couple that always come into my work and tell me about their life, and this is it so far. it doesn’t have a chorus yet…

[fifties-sixties-everyday-life]

“And away we go“

July 14, 1962

[mybandneedsaname]

so i started writing this song about an old couple that always come into my work and tell me about their life, and this is it so far. it doesn’t have a chorus yet…

[douglas-savage]

February 14th 1965: I am Red and You are Blue

[diamonddeposits]

Sweet Liqueur

time floats away like the bubbles in a chardonnay spritzer releasing into the atmosphere and drifting to the moon x

Dreamy atmosphere conjured up in bedroom from experimental pop artist Douglas Savage. His latest titled Sweet Liqueur a glacial fervor with focused  spoken word and sung vocals paired with haunting beat dropped melodies. It swirls with the phantoms of past and glimmers of the future Enjoy the track above and do yourselves a favor and follow his fantastic story accompaniment to his musical output. 

[bob-belcher]

[winemom-culture]

please for the love of god find me the original uh oh yall its gettin kind of hazy tweet 

[butchflirt]

[archive95205-blog]

[shaniae]

Reblog in 10 seconds and $1700 will come your way

[trainhardrunfast]

I have nothing to lose and 1700$ to gain

[theanti90smovement]

[nflstreet-deactivated20180710]

[powersnail]

they lock tom brady in a room and only let him out to do football

[virovac]

Or he could just be an introvert.

I’ve only had a strawberry once, and am not interested in recreational stimulants.

[nucleosynthetic-deactivated2021]

im sorry i keep reblogging this over and over but i have been thinking about this comment all day

[mybandneedsaname]

is this the same person who tweets about never having done things but then got exposed by tweets about him doing those exact things

[veshtabul]

Ok I’m losing my shit right now because I just witnessed the sickest burn a 7 year old could ever deliver. I’m just sitting here at the park and there’s a group of little girls near me. They decided to play ‘Disney Princesses’ and this one girl who probably thinks she’s the ‘leader’ was assigning each one a character. Clearly she was choosing them based on looks, as a brunette she was Snow White, the 2 blonde ones got to be Cinderella and Elsa… So when she got to this little Asian girl she obviously chose Mulan. So the Asian girl is like “Why am I Mulan? She’s not a princess”. The leader says in a nasty tone “Yeah but you have small eyes like her”. The Asian girl went quiet for a few seconds but then proceeded with the straightest face ever: “Then I think you should be one of Cinderella’s sisters”. The leader tilts her head and goes “Why?”, so my little heroine goes “because you’re ugly like them”

[hedgehog1029]

mulan is definitely a princess and you can’t tell me otherwise

[mybandneedsaname]

she’s the saviour of China!!!

[saber-toothed-kittens]