MyCOexpress, An Artist's Escape

Welcome! This is my creative outlet. It's where my never-ending train of thoughts is expressed through art. Art has always been my passion, and as I go through life's jittery highs and depressing lows, I create all I can to express myself. Here you will find doodles, sketches, paintings, thoughts, feelings, and emotions that all belong to a person trying to fulfill her life, one step at a time.

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My Illustrations: Underwater

Description: A preview of a backdrop from my trailer Killer Koi, coming out in less than 2 weeks! Created on photoshop.

Hi all, sorry it's been a while. Things have been crazy busy especially as I near the end of my quarter. I'm showing you one of the many backgronds I made for my trailer. It's a final that's due in about a week and a half, so rest assured you'll see it very soon!

Additionally, as for other projects, I'll be cosplaying at Fanime this weekend! Say hi if you see me! :) I'm so excited and am still working on my cosplay till this day haha. I'll be cosplaying Aurelion Sol! So stay tuned, there will be a photoshoot as well. More updates soon! Follow me on instagram @mycoexpress or #mycotogo to follow my journey!

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My Progress: 3D Koi

Description: 3D model / sketch progress of a koi fish on blender!

Artist's Commentary: Hi all! So this is a screenshot of a koi I made in blender for my class. Right now it's crunch time in the quarter system, so I'm whipping out art left and right. It was fun making this and sculpting using digital clay. It was so intimidating at first (still is), but with help I'm getting the hang of it.

As for other projects, I'm working on my Cosplay for Fanime in San Jose! I'm so excited and I just started the process. I'm going to cosplay a champion from my favorite game League of Legends, and I honestly can't wait to share it with you. Stay tuned for previews and sneak peaks via my blog and instagram @mycoexpress!

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My Doodles: Koida!

Description: May the 4th be with you! Celebrating #starwarsday by sharing my version of Yoda fused with a koi fish honoring my videogame idea Killer Koi.

I thought this was a clever play on Yoda so being that it's May the 4th I thought it'd be a great time to share this! I lowkey want to make an animation with all the characters as koi fish. Keep your eyes peeled! Enjoy the 4th. :D

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What I Wore: Steel Magnolia + Instagram Recap

Description: Impromptu photoshoots wearing flowy floral dresses (Elle) paired with a beige trench coat and nude wedges (Aerosoles).

This look reminds me of something whimsical. I added the trench to urbanize the look. With this bright blue hair, my clothes need to either match or be neutral so they don't clash (the struggle). It's kind of cool though how it can stand on its own though and be a statement piece in itself.

I chose the title Steel Magnolia in reference to the story / show and the strong powerful women. I love how the words combine something so delicate and beautfiful yet enduring.

This was shot when I took that 'sunrise' picture with a timer. It was cold and I was running on no sleep, so I just have these 3 shots haha. Since there's less content, I'm also adding an instagram recap.

As for life, besides a lack of sleep and a lack of oxygen, it's alright. I think I must have stepped on a crack or something what with these series of unfortunate events. I'm slowly chugging through, getting little tasks done here and there. Gotta start somewhere, right?

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My Illustrations: Oxygen

Description: A digital illustration of Amumu from League of Legends underwater surrounded by sharks with empty oxygen tanks.

Artist's Commentary: There's always a certain pressure to appear like we're doing okay or that we have everything together - to look a certain way, act a certain way. We either hide our true feelings in fear of how people will think of us, how they will react, whether they'll push us down even more, worry more than they need to, or if they don't react at all.

When sharing if we're not doing okay, sometimes it can be seen as a cry for help, or a "pity party", a publicity stunt - as if we're looking for a reaction. Sometimes it can be an act of bravery and acknowledgement that life sucks sometimes. Maybe its a combination of all the above.

In my previous posts I mention how I'm providing myself oxygen - that's because this drawing shows exactly how I feel. I'm not even drowning anymore, I sank. Now I'm just in the bottom of the ocean surrounded by sharks and i'm out of oxygen.

I'd usually wrap a dark post like this with something light or positive. I can tell you that this character from one of my favorite games (League of Legends) is definitely a sad character (this version / skin of him is Vancouver Amumu which I recently got and like). I can also tell you that I'm proud of making this within a couple of hours and that I enjoyed shading the character. What I can't tell you is to stay positive and feel great all the time. We're human. When there isn't the option to sink, guess we might as well swim.

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My Photography: Sunrise

When the sunlight hits at a certain angle, it creates magic. Igniting hope, highlighting beauty. We can stay up weared by the eternal darkness to get a glimpse of the light. Trying to stay strong, trying not to drown; I ventured to the ocean early in the morning after a night without sleep. I was reminded of how beautiful life can be and it's moments like these that's keeping me going.

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What I Wore: Bold & Blue

Description: A simple beachy outfit during a rainy morning with professional photography done by Ryan Bula (http://www.sharplitemedia.com/).

I recently decided to cut my hair shorter and dye it blue. This is completely out of my comfort zone and I really needed that boost plus an update for pictures; I don't regret it one bit! Scroll down to keep reading & see more amazing shots!

What I Wore: Pale Blue Cardigan & Yellow Sandals (Ross), White Lace Dress (Kohls), Sunflower Umbrella (Amazon)

I am so happy with how these pictures came out. It was a fun shoot and my sunflower umbrella was a perfect accessory for this gloomy weather. As for my blue hair, it's something I'm getting used to...

Not going to lie, life's a little different when your hair is so brightly colored. No longer can I blend in so easily. Sometimes I forget its so bright. It's so easy to get wrapped up into worrying about what other people will think of you. I really like this blue hair, it just makes me a little uncomfortable since it forces me into a spotlight which might just burn. Honestly though, maybe I just need to learn to buy sunblock, put on my shades, and embrace it haha.

Blue hair is something I've always wanted to try. It's funny, I think I've changed my hairstyle about several times this year. Looking back at my previous what I wore posts, I see my red hair, my original dark black hair, blonde, etc. Guess I can now add blue to my collection haha. When I was deciding whether to go back to blonde or not, I knew I was considering going back red, but for some reason it just doesn't feel like me any more. It doesn't fit. Blue resonates more strongly now. At first I enjoyed red since it matched my passion and bold new attitude that I had 2 years ago. Perhaps that fire turned hotter and is calmer, so now its blue?

Regardless of the reason, I'm content with my decision and am slowly learning to embrace it in all its glory.

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My Doodles: Koi Movements

Description: Quick doodles of koi fish and their different angles for my upcoming video game idea (Killer Koi) trailer.

Hey again! So these are just some quick concept sketches. I was referencing real koi fish and using simple lines to get the essence / feeling of the fish (and added cute simple angry eyes just cause haha).

These are really simple doodles in all honesty, but I thought that sharing the process is just as fun to see as the finished product. So stay tuned! I have a few assets done. I reworked my storyboard and I have a looooot more frames to draw now. I'll share one with you on Monday!

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My Paintings: Constellations

Description: A 24 x 8 acrylic painting of all the zodiac constellations.

I. Love. The. Stars. So much in fact I decided to go with a starry theme for my decor. Being that I needed a small mini painting to fill my wall, I just created it. I used my expert dotting skills (lol) and some splatter techniques to create my masterpiece! Click on the image for a bigger view!

The first week of school is officially over and wow is it going to be a busy quarter. I'm really excited and slightly anxious, but I know I'll be okay. When I'm stressed, I'll remember to look at the stars. And blog, so i'll be back in a couple days haha. Shoutout to the libras out there! What's your sign? :)

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Instagram: Recap!

Description: Shots from my instagram account of my latest photography during spring break. Follow @mycoexpress or #mycotogo to keep updated!

Spring break went by so fast. I had a lot of adventures. Honestly, it felt more like spring gaming break (I've been playing so much LoL and I have no regrets!).

I think I've had a lot of revelations this break. I was able to meet new people and have intellectual, deep, and fun conversations as well as spend time with family and explore different cities. I was suprirsed to see how many more awesome photo-ops there were when I'm doing my passion and free to roam. The quality of my work and overall mood just seemed to increase. Things may not be perfect, but I am actually happy. Learning about myself, taking things in one day at a time, making the most of everyday and working towards a bigger goal; sometimes I stop and think to myself, how lucky am I? Or rather, how blessed?

We all have our setbacks and I feel that its important for us to grow by focusing on our blessings and trying to figure out things along the way. What are some important lessons you have learned?

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My Paintings: Periwinkle

Description: A small 8 x 10 painting on canvas with acrylic.

Artist's Commentary: I painted these flowers (1 of 2 paintings) to represent how I see my mom. When I think of her I immediately envision different shades of blue and these iridiscent flowers. There's a certain depth and evangelical quality that admire and love. It's a type of simplicity that is timeless and beautiful, just like my beautiful mom. :)

I actually made this last spring for my painting class. This is actually the 1 of the 2 flower paintings I talked about / made before creating Abstract Chaos (Click here to see the piece and for the original story).

The negative feelings still linger and are still very strong. When I look at these pieces I get a very bittersweet feeling. I remember the intent of the piece and admire its beauty and my overall love for flowers and nature, but then I also remember that bitter after taste from what was my art critique.

I almost feel that, at least in my art department, that there's a certain expectation for how "art" is supposed to be...

The unconventional style has become the conventional, and what is considered to be more popular and beautiful is now disregarded or seemingly valued less. It frustrates me and makes me feel sad because I almost feel left out. I feel isolated in my style and artistic vision. While I see the validity in their critiques and agree the artwork can be improved, I almost feel threatened and defensive as to why a more fruitful type of art is any less valid or great than the opposite.

I believe both styles are beautiful and equally as great. I think its unfair to expect a person to adhere to one style when they have their own. I also think that art is subjective to the viewer, since everyone sees art differently and there's a style that appeals to multiple types of people.

I know I am definitely more sensitive to the topic since in a way it makes me feel more vulnerable and less valued (the sensitive artist, haha go figure). I think with art there are so many different dimensions to it and I feel that we should embrace our differences and try to own them. What are your thoughts?

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Instagram: Recap!

Description: Shots from my instagram account of my latest photography / adventures. Follow @mycoexpress or #mycotogo to keep updated!

The urge to write before finals is always strong and is something I've come to accept and not fight about myself, haha. This month has been nothing short of being transformative and transitionary, and what I mean by that is I've learned a lot about myself and I'm stuck in the middle of life.

The way I see it is that life is almost like a book. There are different chapters and I've gone through several, however the one I'm in right now isn't the climax. I've gone through storms and survived. I made many realizations and now I'm picking up the pieces by figuring out how I want to move forward.

I'm really excited for the next chapters. I'm in my last year and almost done with college slowly preparing for graduate school and the "real world". In a way, I want to skip ahead and see what will happen, but we both know that life doesn't work that way. I know that these new chapters will be a product of my actions and goals as well as life's unexpected surprises.

I'm questioning what I want to pursue and how to go about it. I'm reminiscing about my blog and art and really just trying to figure every thing out along the way. I've always been doing that since I started this journey and tried to share as much as I can with you all.

There are always limits as to how much I can share so I try to be vague especially since either the situations are present or sometimes private (if you really want to know or have questions shoot me an email at [email protected], I'd be happy to answer as much as I can). Regardless, I'm doing my best. As an artist I can only hope some of my art can articulate the words that escape my tongue. As a human being, I can hope that there's a sense of understanding in my words and an understanding in your hearts. :3

Cheers to March! Thanks for reading!

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My Illustrations: Killer Koi Preview #1

Description: A mini preview for my upcoming trailer of my videogame idea Killer Koi! (See the old post about the game here)

Artist's Commentary: Hey again! This is a snapshot of the different assets I'm creating to remake the old trailer I made with my artwork! I'm excited for this and expect the trailer to be done by this upcoming summer.

I started working on this idea years ago and was inspired by the koi pond at my college. This idea is to precious in my head to let go, so I decided to keep working on it. I'm going to create a short video trailer illustrating my idea and refining the story board. After that, I'd be open to either continuing it as a web series or a comic, or even an interactive text game! My dream would to have it be playable and work with coders and game designers to execute it, but baby steps haha.

I wanted it to originally be more photorealistic, but that is something that I'd need to invest more time into to learn. If anything I'll work on that later, but for now I'll embrace this style of mine and pursue it further! :) I'll release another preview within the next week! Read more about the game below!

Game Description: Millions of years later, due to global warming the earth has flooded and is completely underwater except for one civilization. Meanwhile, the koi fish grew and overpopulated.

You wake up in a jungle, lying on the ground. You see the bright blue sky and giant leaves. You hear water flowing, and make your way through the jungle and discover a lost civilization. You arrive at a dock and use the boat to explore this ancient city. Aside from battling these giant koi fish in your adventure, you find inscriptions written all over the giant towers. They provide you instructions on your journey and reveals to you the mysteries of what happened to the earth and what was once the city that lived there.

You notice this fish relic and realize that you need to find the keys to unlock an underwater cave holding scrolls that reveal the history of the city and the secret to restore it and save the world.

Throughout your journey you will encounter koi attacks, explore an underwater world, climb the towers, meet other travelers, and learn that sometimes even monsters are misunderstood.

Stay tuned for the trailer! Follow me on instagram @mycoexpress to see updates!

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My Paintings: Elemental

Description: A 18 by 26 acrylic painting of abstract water and fire with hints of glitter glue.

Artist's Commentary: If a picture's worth a thousand words, this painting represents the perfect thousand words to describe my feelings this past month. At my lowest point when I felt most alone, I started creating this abstract blue mess of water and aggressive swirls. Later as I calmed down and came back to reality, I added glitter glue to give a water and calming element.

It was beautiful, but I knew it needed something more. I wanted to balance the deep blue water with a fiery fire. Symbolically this represents various things for me. Either the rage from stress I was feeling, passion in my heart, or the element of rebirth knowing that fire is not only destruction; it is also life.

Fire is what fuels us and keeps us alive. The feeling of warmth, love, and passion is what we humans thrive on for survival. Fire can be destructive if not handled carefully, which is why we need water to keep us zen.

This serves as a reminder to myself that chaos is beautiful and amidst the fire is the opportunity to rise from the ashes and be reborn.

By combining the two elements, I wanted to bring balance to the painting and myself with the knowledge that one is not better than the other and that we need both fire and water to survive.

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My Paintings: Jellyfish

Description: A 26 by 18 acrylic painting of jellyfish with glitter and glow in the dark paint!

Artist's Commentary: Glitter and glow in the dark paint seem to be my trademark. I love having my paintings sparkle and come to life. I created this painting as a part of my interior decorations for summer. I am highly fascinated by the ocean and think jellyfish are so beautiful. I especially love the contrast between the orange jellyfish and the deep blue ocean

I added mini moon jellyfish (they glow in the dark!) and some hints of glitter glue to create the resemblence. I wanted to capture its natural beauty and highlight the unique details of this magnificent creature.

(This painting is available for commission! Contact me for more information!)

As for an update, I finally feel inspired again. It feels so liberating to be able to work on my own projects and get back into it again. I've been updating my site and I feel like it's time to get back into putting that effort for my blog. :)

The project I'm currently working on is my videogame idea, Killer Koi! I'm making an original trailer for it and I'm beyond excited. More artwork I have yet to share will be posted very soon! Talk to you later!

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My Paintings: Coral

Description: A 26 by 18 acrylic painting of coral with glitter and glitter paint.

Artist's Commentary: Has it really been 2 months already? I'm currently enjoying my break at home and I'm so glad I'm done with my classes last quarter. It wasn't my favorite and all my personal artistic energy was drained away (hence my absence from here). I've missed this! Feels good to be back.

Nonetheless, I'm back and though my overall priorities in terms of my blog and content have changed, I'm still going to share my work and journey with you all. I've kind of been on a personal social network withdrawal, and it made me realize the tediousness of trying to attain a "pretty" picture just for "likes". So one of my resolutions is to have content with a purpose and to try to avoid getting trapped in that social network vortex.

As for this painting, I made this out of my free will (which is a huge thing considering the art classes I've had) during the summer for my interior decor. This still proudly hangs in my room and I love it to pieces! My friend said it reminded her of something they sell in Target haha. I love the ocean and think coral is beautiful, so I wanted to embody that. To give it a little something, I added glitter and glitter paint to really make it pop; I have no regrets.

I should make an ocean series haha. Till next time!

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My Drawings: Art

Description: A drawing created with sharpie markers inspired by the concept of engineering and how art is in everything around us.

Artist's Commentary: For my drawing class, we had to create a piece inspired by the engineering department. I crashed an electrical engineering class and used inspiration from circuitry to create this piece. I wanted to emphasize that art is in everything, including where you least expect it.

This is now proudly being displayed on my laptop. It reminds me of a sticker, so I figured, why not put it there? Plus it relates to my theme as it's displayed on a piece of technology (i.e. my laptop). As for a life update, things are well other than being sick. I swear, it makes everything 20 times more challenging.

Hopefully I get better soon, more art to come...later, haha.