The Villianization of Shippers and Why I Think Bridgerton Fans are Barking Up the Wrong Tree
Parasocial behavior has become a buzz word and we saw Nicola talking about it recently in her Saturday Guardian article. I wrote about it in another blog post, so I won't rehash the article other than to point out a few main takeaways.
-There seems to be acknowledgement on her part that maybe some things needed to change when she was quoted as saying, "What have I done?" but there was no follow up as to what that meant or what changes she might be making.
-There were two parts in the article where she addressed parasocial behavior- one where she seemingly was trying to put certain rumors to rest and the other where she actually got emotional because she talked about fans who went to the point of sending others to follow & film her in the streets of NYC, trying to find her home, and making her feel actually threatened and unsafe. As I said in my earlier post, it is absolutely unequivocally wrong to spend time trying to track a celebrity's location in real time, finding their home, or sending people to play paparazzi. I even take issue with the way paparazzi handle themselves with celebrities and found it exceptionally odd that certain corners of the fandom would celebrate photos where she was clearly crying and uncomfortable.
However: some of these pap pictures were very likely called in. Backgrid is known for this, and in particular, the same pap was used every single time, an hour plus apart from each other in London. They all just so happened to be wearing relatively unbranded clothing during these outings (means they can be more widely published), looking directly into the camera, and acting differently when they saw it. The photos were kind of comical even (the Laverne and Shirley moment skipping down an alleyway with produce). However, there was clearly some coordination with their teams. When they realized the fandom had caught on to their shared custody paparazzi arrangement, all of those pics suddenly halted and haven't picked up, even with a new season of Bridgerton in the works.
Anyway, let's get back to blaming the fans. Some fans have decided to point fingers at the others, stating that they aren't the ones at fault, the other side is. Some have decided to come out in support of N and not even address their role in it at all. And some have addressed their role, and the role of others.
Anyone who watched press of N/L last year and found them cute, then followed them on social media, is to a degree parasocial. Most of us are. We like to know a little bit about the lives of celebs behind the scenes. We might read a tabloid in the grocery store aisle or gossip about what we heard most recently on Tiktok. The challenge is that where the line falls is really subjective, and N/L, Bridgerton and Shondaland had a big part in that in the last year.
So let's start with bloggers like myself. We're on here speculating. That is, to a degree, parasocial. Most of my speculations are kept to publicly available information- from social media, from blogs, etc. You might decide that's unhealthy. I think it's acceptable. Is it parasocial to ship celebrities? Yes, it absolutely is. It's also parasocial to look at pictures of celebrities in magazines or listen to blind items. Lots of folks do that, and it's ok.
Do some people take the shipping over the line? Yes. In terms of my personal boundaries, I don't make a habit of following family members, or digging into private pages. I don't want to know where they are in real time. I don't want to know the locations of their homes. Those things seem to be overreach to me.
I also think, though, that we need to address the elephant in the room. N and L did an excessive amount of press on their world tour. Most of it was them, on camera together, holding hands, touching each other when they had the chance, staring into each other's eyes, making each other laugh. Talking about what they liked to do together. Talking about intimate gifts and posting photos showing themselves off-set together. Taking romantic and intimate beach walks and having romantic dinners for two.
Not all of this was manufactured by Shondaland/Netflix. Two people don't travel together for 6 months (mind you, this press tour for season 4 is 1 month by comparison), having that kind of connection on and off camera the whole way without there being something there. N said over and over again that if you see love there, it's real love.
However, Shondaland/ Netflix went along with it. They even planned a stop to N's hometown where we watched her family members break down in tears not at seeing her, but at meeting L, on camera, in front of a room full of people. They booked the interviews, with lots of very couple-coded activities. They promoted bts images that the two shared of themselves well after the season, of the two of them, not Polin. People who worked for them responded to shipper fans saying things eluding to the wedding being real and calling them the captain of the ship. The actors went to SAG and were seated next to each other. They walked the red carpets together holding hands.
Now let's look at LT/ Yerin's promo period. Short. To the point. So far, no couples challenges or fluff. Yesterday felt like an infomercial for Bridgerton merch. The actors speaking candidly about the awkwardness. Minimal physical contact, and the contact you see couldn't be mistaken for actual affection. Totally different.
Season 3 brought in record numbers for Netflix and it's not just because of Polin season (big Polin fan myself), it's because of Lukola. It's because it was electric to watch them together. And the challenge now is wherever you sit on the ship- if you're someone who buys the sides or not, we have never seen that kind of chemistry with either one of them. We've never seen comfort, ease, friendship, or love with either of the sides. L walks away leaving his behind or throwing a sweat rag to her like an assistant. N's gets orders barked at him at events and spends time staring at other men at events he attends with her. Everything feels very forced and staged. Most people are quietly shipping in their little corners of the internet, not putting it all out there. But the reality is this:
-Parasocial or not, if you see the photos and video footage of N and L with their allegeds, most would not ship them. They might wish them well. They might have good hopes for them. But nobody would wish these things upon them, or frankly on the sides. It's consistent. I'm not here to speak ill of the sides either. I'm sure they're both perfectly nice people, and as I've said before on this blog, they have family and friends and sometimes the mean things people write about them are hard to see, because I know they, their families and friends are seeing this. However, this situation had been unfair to both, because there's a lot about it that doesn't read as fair to them or particularly good for them.
-Parasocial or not, N/L have an undeniable chemistry, friendship and connection. We saw it at SAG. I am completely unsurprised that we got a little awkwardness in the NYE promo followed by separate interviews with the cast because they can't help themselves when they're around each other (especially L). They don't want to feed into the shipping.
-However, feeding into the side narratives, true or false, is feeding into parasocialism. Their pages are public and they're business pages. Posting about your personal life is opening the door to speculation. So whether you buy it or don't, they're feeding into it.
As we watch this press and see it done drastically differently, I think this is an overcorrection by the network, N/L and the actors, and I think if they truly don't want a parasocial connection with fans this is the way to go. Set boundaries, stick with them. But I also think that the actors should be mindful of what they put out on their socials, because having it both ways isn't an option (imo).
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