blog.

I write because I think because I write.

[mycup0tea]

End of the world. Start of a new. Theories.

Think we can all use this day, where there is mass energy directed towards the end of the world... or the end of something, to end the negatives we carry in our own little worlds.  To let go of things that are not benefiting us and move along to a whole new world (okay, Aladdin).  It would be great to harness this energy and belief that something will end and use it to kill ugly habits and make some small positive changes in the world.  This is how half of my brain views this whole end of the world madness. My other, less optimistic, theory about today's end of the world is that the Mayans were right.  The end of the world has come, it has come in the form of depleting philanthropy within ourselves and modern society.  The Mayans probably interpreted the end of the world as... sitting at the dinner table with your friends and not talking because every one is on their glossy touch screen phones.  Scary thought!

[mycup0tea]

Acts of kindness as an element of surprise.

Apparently, I have been really kind as of late.  People have been calling me out on acts of kindness.  I am very appreciative of the recognition, but many of the things I have been called out on are miniscule and I feel that people should perform them on a regular basis.  It kind of saddens me that there are such low expectations for people when it comes to interactions with other people.  My philosophy is that we are here on this earth to give other people a hand.  It is understandable that sometimes we can't, but when we are able to, we should... a little bit of kindness can go a very long way. 

[mycup0tea]

Where I am... right now

I like where I am right now I'm at a place where my pride is not too high  because I'm not conventionally smart  there is no pressure on me to act a certain way  or comment on a perceived intellectual topic that I am not particularly fond of (i.e. politics)   I like where I am right now I'm at a place where I can identify my flaws without feeling bad about myself and use it to my advantage I'm at a place where I can see the flaws in others but I'm able to ask and see why they are behaving in an off-putting manner  I like where I am right now being true to myself  has allowed me to be courageous and be vocal about my likes and dislikes I like where I am right now because I can envision the direction I'm going and I like the direction I'm going I like where I am right now I don't know everything I won't know everything but at least I am getting to know myself I like where I am right now I'm in my room and late for work because I'm trying to finish this entry... this is where I'm at right now. 

[mycup0tea]

Learning Rap Songs

Currently: 2Pac- California Love. 

[mycup0tea]

Reflection

If anyone wants to know if I'm taking care of myself look no further than my plants.  They really are a reflection of my ability (or lack of) to take care of myself.  Right now they are getting too big for their pots. hmm. 

[mycup0tea]

My Grandma (Mamang) named her kids in this order:

Louella Onofre Violeta Emmanuel in her time here on earth, this is all she stressed.  It is what she always wanted whenever I asked her what she wanted for her Birthday or for Christmas.  I am determined to carry on her legacy by living just as she did.  Sometimes love is all you need to have and all you need to give. 

[mycup0tea]

Where are the moderates?

I feel like the potential 'boyfriends' I interact with either want to 1.) strictly get into my pants or 2.) want to make their life my life and vice versa.  Where the heck are the moderates?  Someone to grow with AND have fun with.  Someone who has his own life and can think for himself.  Someone who is not brainwashed by the incessant codependency on the radio.  Someone who can think for themselves. Someone who wants to better himself and the people around him. Where the fuck are the moderates? 

[mycup0tea]

We did it ourselves. 

[mycup0tea]

Lessons Learned

Today, we remember witnessing two forms of deep-seated human expression: malevolence and compassion. The latter can still be seen throughout the country, from the heroism of the fallen to the grace of the good samaritan. As we reflect on this day, let us not forget to nurture heroism and grace in our own environments. It is why we are resilient and why we are here.

[mycup0tea]

went out last night.

it is nice to have a friend who is just as calculated as you to plan a tolerable (escape) night out clubbing. It was a good night of analysis and laughter though.  We felt we needed to repent from last night's debaucheries by cleaning our rooms and staying there all day.  I did so and did not eat breakfast until 3pm. My phone battery exploded today, bought a new one, have to wait 4 days... feel like I'm drowning. too much dependency on the damn phone.   

[mycup0tea]

Late Bloomer

Right now more than ever, I am feeling like a late bloomer.  I know people on facebook skew reality by showing mostly the good in their lives.  I still can't help but notice that I don't have my dream job, I'm not in a relationship, engaged, or married, I don't feel accomplished for my age.  I've always been a late bloomer in many instances where I have been given the opportunity to thrive, but I am always just a little too late to act and as a result I feel like I have not grown to my full potential.  I could have been a recognized leader in two organizations I was involved in in my life, but I did not act quickly enough.  I am thinking I have evaded these roles because I am being prepared for something greater, I am just waiting to see what that is.  Late bloomers need an environment willing to invest in greatness and patient enough to watch them grow, only then will they truly unfold as the biggest blossom in the bunch.... now we just have to hope they don't become wallflowers. 

[mycup0tea]

the way to be an activist

is not to promote it all over one's facebook or tumblr (I'm such a hypocrite).  Most of what you're getting done on facebook is saying instead of doing.  I like to think that I am an activist for my causes, though many people would not think so. I fight the good fight for my various communities, particularly for my lgbt folks, by merely existing in the communities or social settings that are not known to be lgbt friendly.  I like to befriend people who are not like me. By doing so, they learn that people within their own community have different life experiences, yet can still get together and find commonalities.  To be friends first and be a person of color, white, handicapped, able-bodied, a man, a woman, gay, straight, etc. second; this is true activism for me.  Communal progress is made man to man, and rarely from a distance. 

[mycup0tea]

Freedom at the Courthouse

To have freedom in this country is a privilege.  I spent my morning in the courthouse to show support for a friend.  While waiting, I was performing my usual social observation studies and sometimes I do this thing where I pick a person or environment and try to imagine myself as that person or in that space.  Today I pictured myself as the one being prosecuted, looking out at the people behind the desk working at the courthouse.  I thought to myself that freedom was so close, but because one minor slip-up I was unable to taste it.  I then thought about the workers at the courthouse and assumed they lived mundane lives for their freedom.  I don't want to be mundane, but I don't ever want to not taste freedom.  I want to live on that line between both (leaning toward mundane, in case I mess up) which is kind of where I'm at right now.  Sometimes I feel tired and uninspired, but when I do find inspiration to live a little more, it is a great feeling.  One day I hope to be the inspiration for people to live with little reservation and as free as they can be in this world-- you can start with being a one man flashmob in your car, that always works for me.     

[mycup0tea]

Internet Memes and How They Stifle Creative Thinking

First, I want to make clear that I know the act of creating an internet meme takes... well... creativity. I am not bagging on the creative process that is meme-making, moreso on their excessive use by other people.  I feel like our generation is starting reflect what great minds have been thinking for years... that we are all the same.  The constant publishing and sharing of similar memes only proves this.  Memes are as old as we are, they are "an idea, behavior or style that spreads from person to person within a culture" (Wikipedia, 1).  Internet memes give a pictorial perspective as to how ideas can spread fairly quickly.  Some memes are entertaining, seeing people repost memes and only memes saddens me.  It saddens me because I would like to see more people thinking and writing things for themselves from their perspective.  Sure we all live in similar environments, and yes, we are going to think the same thing, but we can all paint a picture of how we see certain situations... so let me see your own pictures, people. 

[mycup0tea]

I visited Chicago last week.  Best part (besides the people I went on the trip with!) was the architecture tour.  I have described the City in two ways "like the pretty girl who doesn't know she's pretty" and its architecture as "a really hot guy you see in public, but don't know how to approach him" 

[mycup0tea]

Michael Politickin' Next to Sarah Palin

Until I can get down to the micro level of National Politics, I cannot make a thorough conclusion about my opinion about it.  That is the case with most things, I try to only judge things on how they make me feel (I know, get a back bone, right? I'm working on it)-- it's either that or comprehensive research.  Anywho, National Politics has recently given me bad vibes.  On my facebook newsfeed, it is the leading cause of divisiveness between friends and friends of friends.  These people are pretty much young and ordinary, just like me, and I don't think they have enough life experience to come to conclusions about the political stance that they take.  People I encounter on facebook (in the literal sense of course.. why would I want to see them in person... just kidding) tend to take a political stance based on their political affect (emotional connection) toward one or a few topics-- i.e. struggles of people of color, (gay) marriage, and wealth without really understanding the inner workings of the party.  They seem to take a stance with whatever party encompasses most of their values and how they make them feel (politicians be capitalizing on your emotion! that's the worst).  Not ever once thinking that maybe all of the political parties have something you want and maybe that they are all the same and nothing will ~change~  I personally think that government and politics should mainly be for maintaining peace within the nation and creating economic growth by being fiscally responsible and subsidizing thriving businesses-- and that's it!  We should not look to it for any other kind of support (I know you hate me, how Republican of me).  I also I think that a summation of incremental change can greatly outweigh any instant change you think you will get by putting your preferred political party into office. The way to get this big change is simple: treat each other like you are human and extinguishable and work together to improve and learn... if anything learn about each other.  Also, on a tangentially-related note, I think that people are subconsciously taught (by the pressure of society or something we learn at a young age) to take a political stance and watch the news because it is somehow the educational thing to do (I will tell you my theory on this later, but  I can quote the teacher that told me that in high school, I will keep him from embarrassment).  A great friend once said "knowledge is infinite, but we are not."  I truly believe that this is a necessary mantra to use in life and it can also be applicable when it comes to politics and our desire to seem educated.  We all have the capacity to learn and we are all aiming to make the world we live in a better place.. this has to start by sitting down and understanding the views, and origins of these views, of other people.. dropping the fake walls put on us by some menace to society (the media).  The world would be a lot more tolerable and we can finally start working toward that World Peace vision most pageant queen hopefuls have, politics aside.   

[mycup0tea]

Funemployment Idea

Because I work with real estate vacancy data in San Diego, I know plenty of beautiful office space in downtown that is vacant.  I have the crazy idea to occupy this vacant office space to create a 501c3 non-profit that emulates the "real world" professional work space, from the environment to the organizational structure.  This will be for people who are involuntarily unemployed, part-time, or interns-- preferably working for companies or organizations in downtown.  I shall dub this organization Volunteer Vacancy.  It will have a staff and it will look just like an office, except there will be no exchange of currency from Volunteer Vacancy to the workers inside, it will just give people an outlet to network and get projects done for those willing to put in the extra time.  I would like to get this country back to work one day, using everyone willing and able to improve the economic climate and produce quality goods and services.  I'm not the President, but I think we both want the same things.  I will attempt to bring this idea to life once I am funemployed again...