Wednesday 24th December - Christmas Already?
Dear Different Boy,
Can't believe we are at christmas already. How quick has 2014 passed? It is crazy how quick time is flying by recently. I don't particularly want to get older lol. It doesn't feel like Christmas AT ALL. Like I remember when it used to feel festive not even just when I was a child but as an adult too. This year is different. I don't know what it is and I cant exactly put my finger on it but it is different! I always get dead reflective at this time of the year. Its because the new year is coming up and this year I cannot wait because I get to celebrate it in Ireland :D So So happy about this!
So yeah, its christmas eve and I get reflective. If I sit and think about the situation I was in, my life at the time and the person I was exactly one year ago on 24th December 2013, it astonishes me. Here are the facts;
24/12/13 - In a relationship where I was happy and could see a future - Had a good job - Semi financially secure enough to make reasonable purchases anyway - Had a best friend who was also my gf and soul mate, a best friend and wonderful housemates
24/12/14
- Single - Yet to begin a job but starting soon - Absolutely broke and in a financial mess - Lost my best friend /gf/soul mate. Lost the strength in the best friend relationship and communication is limited. Living with parents and absolutely hate it with no privacy whatsoever and hardly speak to anyone from 12 months ago
Now that's a change. 2014 is the complete opposite of 2013
In a way I wish I could take back some things from the last 18 months such as even attempting to get into a relationship because it has culminated in me also losing my best friend and pretty much everyone who was around me. But then I tell myself everything happens for a reason and I definitely would not be as strong as I am now if that hadn't happened. If I had not been screwed over by the two people I trusted with my life, I would not be able to protect myself and be as strong as I am. It has been a trying year to say the least but I am really going to make this upcoming year the best I can at the end of the day. I have put everything to bed, there are no hard feelings from my previous relationships at all and I have come out the other end thankfully. I just understand that people change, including myself, and true colours always show! That's the weakness of human beings. You can only hold up the act for so long before you break. I care about a lot of these people still but by no means do I trust them with anything. There is a difference. I know that now.
Things will certainly never be the same again and this is something I have learned to deal with and am quite comfortable with
So, Merry Christmas everyone and watch out for Different Boy because I have intense determination now!
















