shit my friends have said

but as the hogwarts houses

[myfriendsashogwarts]

ravenclaw: hey guess what time it is

slytherin: time to go and listen to sad music and speed walk around town all whilst maintaining an air of mystery?

ravenclaw: heck yeah!

[myfriendsashogwarts]

hufflepuff: i can’t leave, slytherin is anxious as fuck

ravenclaw: tell them to eat a scotch egg, they'll be too focused on the delicious snack to be anxious

[myfriendsashogwarts]

the houses as out of context instagram dms my friends have sent

gryffindor:

slytherin:

ravenclaw:

hufflepuff:

[myfriendsashogwarts]

hufflepuff: what do you mean tom holland has got a girlfriend? he’s in a committed relationship with nicki minaj

[myfriendsashogwarts]

the houses as peppa pig frog memes that my mates have sent in the group chat

gryffindor:

slytherin:

ravenclaw:

hufflepuff:

[myfriendsashogwarts]

slytherin: so yeah she came up to me and went I HAVE THREE QUESTIONS FOR YOU

slytherin: do you have a boyfriend?

do you have tiktok?

do you have instagram?

ravenclaw: and if you answer all three with yes, you get to hang out with the cool kids

[myfriendsashogwarts]

over instagram dm’s

ravenclaw: *sends a post of gryffindor’s* look at this

slytherin: is that account private or something, i can’t see it

slytherin: oh wait

slytherin: never mind i blocked them

[myfriendsashogwarts]

ravenclaw: apparently, in japan,it's common for women to have their bicycle seats stolen, nothing else, just the seat

ravenclaw: there was this one guy who was caught in possession of 5800 bicycle seats

gryffindor: reckon i should one up him and steal 5801 bicycle seats

[myfriendsashogwarts]

ravenclaw: someone in our school has the biggest dick

gryffindor: it’s me. i’m a girl, but it’s me

[myfriendsashogwarts]

ravenclaw: hey gryffindor, remember that time you invited us around to watch a scary movie, but the scary movie was the 1990 romance ‘Ghost’?

gryffindor: piSS OFF

[myfriendsashogwarts]

slytherin: can’t wait to unfollow all you bitches on instagram once we leave school

[myfriendsashogwarts]

*over text*

hufflepuff: let’s have a group video chat in 5 minutes

slytherin: no. do it now.

hufflepuff: what why?

slytherin: gryffindor is on one with their other mates. i need to compete

[myfriendsashogwarts]

*over text*

gryffindor: hey broskis this corona doing us dirty

[myfriendsashogwarts]

“the holidays are for vibing, that’s why i ain’t revising”

— gryffindor, maybe ravenclaw

[myfriendsashogwarts]

“i feel like a tiny dog in a posh woman’s hand bag. trapped but still enjoying life”

-ravenclaw or hufflepuff

[myfriendsashogwarts]

ravenclaw: yeah my mum thinks we’re doing drugs

hufflepuff: that’s ridiculous! i don’t even know where to get a cocaine!

[myfriendsashogwarts]

ravenclaw: this harry styles album

gryffindor: yeah?

ravenclaw: anti-depressant