Love Yourself

Snapchat mykkrispie. 23years old. Queer. Queen. Taken.

[emma-d-klutz]

me, tentatively, afraid to get my hopes up

[onlinegirl420]

me on the first day of september

[painfog]

hdjdjsjkk my mum works in retail and one of her coworkers is autistic & mostly doesnt talk unless he has to but yesterday he went out of his way to cross through the crowds of xmas shoppers and dodge a train of trolleys to go up to my mum, gesture to the crowds and say “michelle. i am losing the will to live”

[galaxy-foxx98-deactivated202401]

Big ass mood

[chaoticgoblinbean-deactivated20]

[doujinshi]

so this kid he used to bully me in middle school before i got tough, well this is kind of a funny story. so i sugar from time to time but my latest sugar mommys house is so extra and i didnt bring my glasses but im going through the house because she told me to make myself at home and i see a family photo and im just like he looks really familiar but i cant make out shit. and so she and i start talking and shes like yeah i have a son your age actually and im just like wait… and she was like you’ll meet him later when we go to the car show, and im just like fuckin wait.. and we get to the car show and its me and her we’re holding hands being friendly and shes like and heres my son. and i shit u not this is the same dude who used to fucking bully me in middle school and he starts fucking crying because he didnt know his mom was lesbian and i was just like hey its been a while, but im getting fucked by your mom.

[celtic-pyro-deactivated20230725]

[dedededededededededededededenne]

[brokenribs]

[nerdster312]

Bottle me up some of that juice!

[hatefuhk]

when people ask where you see yourself in 10 years

[wisdomenlightener]

[dogboynecromancer]

me logging on to this hellsite

[anemonequeen-moved]

bringing this back for international clown week

[dorites-deactivated20241117]

Just found out neanderthal passed on the DNA for depression and now we know why they stayed in caves and painted horses all fuckin day 

[bobo543732]

Reblog if you’re a depressed neanderthal who stays in their cave and paints horses all fuckin day

[tami-taylors-hair]

[subservientdoesntgohereanymore]

So it’s THEIR FAULT

[sneakyfeets]

Me, plunking Stinky Bastard Man’s carrier on the counter: hi he’s here for shots and a nail trim and he’ll need to be sedated

Nurse: Are you sure? We can try-

Me: he needs to be sedated

Nurse: Well, it’ll take longer-

Me: he needs to be sedated, he will try to rip your face off

Nurse: Well we’ll try without first and we’ll let you know if we need to sedate

Me, watching her carry him away: you will need to sedate him

Nurse, coming back 10 minutes later clutching her hand: so, we will need to sedate him

Me:

[sneakyfeets]

A man with 3 caution stickers on his med file

[sneakyfeets]

Since this post blew up and people have asked for this villain’s record, here are some of Stinky Bastard Man’s more heinous crimes:

Screamed so loudly with such unbridled fury the one time he wasn’t sedated at the vet that he caused a little girl in the waiting room to burst into tears

Ripped an escape hole in the patio screen door in a single night

Snuck into the garage overnight where he managed to pull down his massive food bag from the top shelves, ripped it open and ate so much he couldn’t/wouldn’t move when we found him in the morning  

Learned how to open the laundry cabinet to sleep on the clean towels

Learned how to open doors, thus allowing the dog to follow in after who then eats from the trash

Bats off anything on our windowsills that gets in the way of his sitting. Current succulent casualty count: 4

Thankfully cannot open the bedroom door due to rusty mechanisms, but managed to slip in one night when it wasn’t fully closed. Jumped down from my windowsill squarely onto my stomach, leaving me to bolt awake screaming from the blow and convinced I was under attack

Tricked me into loving him forever anyway

[onlytwitterpics]

[keeponmovingalong]

Billy lifeguarding when the Mind Flayer is possessing him

[dinosaursinlove]

[fuzzyghost]

[labias]

[tchaikovskaya]

none of yall know what propaganda actually is, do you?

[tchaikovskaya]

this is legitimately the absolute funniest thing anyone has ever added to one of my posts, thank you for your service

[cephalophor]

The first funny bitch was Cain, who straight up lied to God after killing his brother.

[nakedinasnowsuit]

God: where’s Abel?

Cain: fuck if I know??? I’m not in charge of him

[thewitchway]

It is TRAGIC that you can’t read this in the original Hebrew.

God:  Where’s the Sheepkeeper?

Cain: Do I LOOK like a Brotherkeeper? 

[careful-crow]

God: hey where’s Abel???

Cain:

[proto-homo]

All my ladies who impulse buy to feel alive, make some noise!!!!

[cosmicyeehaw]