i feel like my life is spinning out of control and there is no way back. everything is always going wrong and I dont know what to do... i need help... i need to get away from this... i can't deal with this...

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@mylifeispainandmisery
i feel like my life is spinning out of control and there is no way back. everything is always going wrong and I dont know what to do... i need help... i need to get away from this... i can't deal with this...
I'm not suicidal I don't wanna fucking die. Just wanna be able to close my eyes and feel alright
But every day I feel like dying
Iām always lonely
I really want to die.
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to seek what lies beyond
āare you okayā no, next question
I'm a waste of life. I should just kill myself. Yeah, I could slit my wrists but it really wouldn't help. Wouldn't fix my issues or change your mind cause I broke your heart and you buried mine.
Iām at the point in my life where I need you to be straight up honest and back up every word you say with actions. If you miss me, tell me. If you wanna see me, show up or ask me to come over. If youāre upset with me or something in general, tell me. Iāve done the whole playing games, chasing hearts around that never belonged to me. Iām done doing it. If you want me, Iām here, where Iāve been. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
I lost my best friend and my everything. She knew me. She knew who I was, who I'm not and who I want to be. She knew everything. She lost all my trust. I'm lost. I'm insecure. I'm broken. I don't know what to do anymore. I lost everything. I'm hiding the fact that I'm broken and I'm making it seem like everything's okay when it's not. I'm sorry.
I feel emotionally drained currently. Why would someone ever do this...
I don't know if I'll ever be okay.
take a step back. take a deep breath. do what you need to do to make sure your mental health is a priority.Ā
youāre doing great. really really.
My heart hurts and you donāt seem to care
Getting ignored literally makes my heart sink to the ground.