My Lord, Hamlet

I'm pro-Oxford comma, and I enjoy birds, theatre, languages and ironies.

[bunney]

*white parent voice* i cant believe kanye and kim named their baby North West!! thats ridiculous!! oh no, its almost 4:30, i need to pick up my kids Mackaylikiah and Ashleighyie from their water polo practice!

[blonded004]

[kyliesparks27-deactivated201810]

I always reblog this post so fucking fast every time it comes on my dash my phone shuts down the tumblr app and reboots

[imericschneider]

McKarty 64 is my favorite Mario Kart game.

[stevetomjohn]

My favorite part is that the blog post the photo was taken from detailed this mother’s decision-making process and chose this name because her husband saw it on a road sign on the way home

She named her daughter after a road sign

a road sign

[characterlimit]

[proletarianprincess]

there was a girl at my school called “zona” cause he parents went on holiday to spain and saw it and thought it was a nice name. IT LITERALLY MEANS ZONE

[carpegin]

“47 month old”

[dragongirltitties]

this is my four year old rayman origins

[jennytrout]

“Who’s doing your surgery?”

“Dr. Rayman Origins.”

[rustydanger]

THE APP REBOOTED FOR ME!!

[amari-skies-deactivated20190610]

i met a kid once whose name was “Ryce” and his mum said it was pronounced “Reese”

the best part is she was originally going to spell it “Rice”

[mudskipmcqueen]

My auntie knows a family who decided to name their daughter Owen, but they spelled it “Oin” and they made her middle name the first sound that her big sister made which happened to be “Oogok”. her name is literally “Oin Oogok Puscus”

[suicunesrider]

Oin Oogok Puscus is my favorite dwarf from the Hobbit

[allmenarerapists]

Yo I work at a rec center in a rich neighborhood and these are some real names of white children:

Salter Tryge (pronounced Trig) Loots Pocket Aughyst (pronounced August) Taileigh Lotiss Leviathin (yes spelled like that) Bacchus Daniyal (a girl, pronounced like Daniel)

All real

[the-epitome-of-sophistication-d]

This shit is hilarious

[badgyal-k-deactivated20190901]

@kaiiwooo

[kaiiwooo-deactivated20180323]

I can’t

[onlyblackgirl]

47 month old.

[bando--grand-scamyon]

Nayvie….. Bish whet????

[i-sucked-dick-on-accident-deact]

this is from my kid’s valentine’s list this year like this corny fake unique name thing is no joke yall this is all of the boy names 

[xoverlyxclusivex]

47 month old.

[crimeshetyped]

I refuse to go on knowing someone named their child “Salter” I’m so done ✌🏿️

[mesaymeep]

Treyton lls, I’m dying…

[bird-mom]

I know a person from college who’s name is literally “Smile”, l can’t even explain how ridiculous that is…

[yourlocalsadbean-deactivated201]

47 month old

[nugret]

47 month old

[squided]

Someone named their kid “Pocket”?

[ramosaurus]

47 month old

[spacemonkeypantz]

My brother-in-law’s cousin Amy is a doctor and she delivered twin girls. Well normally before babies have names they are labelled Baby Surname in the nursery, but with twins they’re labelled Twin A and Twin B Surname instead. When the mum saw the labels she thanked Amy for naming the twins for her. Needless to say Amy was very confused and concerned and tried to explain that they were just labeling the twins that until they had actual names. But the mum brushed her off and said she liked the names anyway, and was just going to change the spellings a bit.

SHE LITERALLY NAMED HER DAUGHTERS TWINAYE AND TWINBY!!! 

[trollingbatterwitch]

I laugh but my brother is literally naming his incoming hell spawn Cannon and I’m praying to god his middle name isn’t going to be Fodder so I don’t laugh myself to death.

[spyderbones]

I know a guy who changed his name to Servin Fries

(47 month old)

[mylordhamlet-blog]

My name is ashleigh and I hate it every day

[palmsofbismuth]

[mylordhamlet-blog]

is this ZZ Top

[mylordhamlet-blog]

[palmsofbismuth]

[mylordhamlet-blog]

is this ZZ Top

[babybree-deactivated20160902]

Pro-Tip

I know most people associate LUSH Cosmetics with white girls and bath bombs but products from this beautiful company have faded my scars and stretch marks, completely gotten rid of my acne, fixed my dry skin problems, thickened my eyelashes, laid my edges, made my hair grow like crazy… I can go on and on. I’ve actually never tried the bath bombs, but their skincare and haircare products work magic.

[babybree-deactivated20160902]

Fading Scars / Stretch Marks Organic Therapy Massage Bar

Extra Dry Skin King of Skin In-Shower Body Conditioner, Skin Drink Facial Moisturizer, Sultana of Soap Bar, Tender is the Night Massage Bar, Each’s a Peach Massage Bar

Acne Fresh Farmacy Solid Cleanser, Eau Roma Toning Water, Full of Grace Serum Bar

Thickening Lashes Eyes Right Mascara / Lash Milk

Edges R&B Hair Moisturizer (if you put this on your edges before wrapping your hair, they’ll be relaxer-straight when you wake up, lasts about 12 hours), Dirty Styling Cream (cream-based edge control with a matte finish, no more shiny or crunchy edges) 

Hair Growth NEW! Shampoo Bar, Retread Hair Conditioner

[babybree-deactivated20160902]

I was asked to list the rest of the products I currently have in my possession, so here y’all go!

FACE / HAIR STUFF

Magical Moringa Facial Moisturizer Oh my lordy. Let me tell y'all about this stuff. It’s marketed as a moisturizer but I use it as a primer because when you put this on your face, it’s completely matte. Like completely. All day. And it will lock your makeup in place like no other. You can sweat in it, swim in it, whatever. Shit won’t budge. Ever.

Jason & the Argan Oil Shampoo Bar Amazing for volumizing. It made the three bundles in my head look more like five when I used this thing the first time, I kid you not. Also gives your hair a really natural shine. I only use it when I really need a volume boost, otherwise it’s just too much.

No Drought Dry Shampoo If you have a weave, you need this stuff. Period. A lot of times, the natural oils in our scalps (referring to my fellow black women here) are too heavy for Brazilian, Peruvian, etc hair, and so it’s easy for weave to get weighed down between washes. Shake this stuff in your hair, brush it out - bam, flow city.

Honey Trap Lip Balm My favorite lip balm, ever. Really improves the texture of your lips and seals in moisture. However, this is not for fixing chapped lips - use Ultrabalm for that first, and then this to prevent them from chapping again. Also, pro-tip, if you apply it before liquid lipstick, your lipstick won’t crease or dry out all day.

MASSAGE BARS

Strawberry Feels Forever Smells like fresh strawberries! Has a much thinner consistency than the other massage bars, so it can be used every day, like a solid lotion.

Soft Coeur Smells like chocolate and honey, and is ridiculously moisturizing. More heavy-duty than the other bars, so I like to only use this one on spots like my knees, heels, and elbows.

From Dusk til Dawn The shape of this one is amazing. It’s shaped like a cone, so it gives a deep massage when you’re using it. Definitely recommend if you have any sort of muscle pain.

SCRUBS

The Rough with the Smooth This stuff smells soooo good. Like cotton candy. I use it before I shave because it really does an amazing job at removing any dead skin and it doesn’t leave a residue, so it won’t clog your razor. However, it’s a sugar scrub, so it melts super quickly.

Ocean Salt This is a heavy-duty scrub. Really amazing if you have dry, flaky skin, and the healing properties of the salt are really great if you have acne. It’ll dry it up and heal it super quick.

Cup o’ Coffee Face & Body Mask I’m on my fourth jar of this already. The coffee beans are ground up just enough to give a deep, yet gentle scrub and the caffeine in the bar really does wake up your skin and make it look brighter. Great for the morning.

Buffy It smells like a vacation, that’s really the only way to describe it. It’s an exfoliant bar and body butter mixed together, so you rub it all over while you’re still in the shower, and then rinse the sand off. After, rub the oils in and pat dry. No need for lotion after because it seals in the moisture from your shower.

SHOWER GELS / JELLIES

Rose Jam Shower Gel Smells like roses and has a really bubbly lather. More cleansing than moisturizing. I like to use it before a more moisturizing soap because it’s great for removing dirt and oil from the skin.

The Olive Branch Shower Gel A long-time favorite of mine. Great for dry skin, as it has a really creamy lather versus a bubbly one. Also, the smell is very calming and lingers for a long time.

Needles & Pines Shower Jelly It’s a solid shower gel (consistency of jello), and it smells like Christmas trees! I like to store it in the fridge and use it when it’s hot outside, super cleansing and refreshing.

SOAPS:

Roses All the Way Personal favorite! Smells like roses & vanilla ice cream. Super moisturizing and so, so creamy. Definitely buy if you suffer from dry skin.

Yog Nog Very moisturizing and the scent lingers for a really long time. Smells like snickerdoodles and eggnog.

Bohemian Not at all creamy, as it’s an exfoliating soap. It’s great to use on dark spots like knees and armpits because the exfoliants soften the skin and the lemon juice evens out your skintone. Smells like lemons.

Karma Another favorite. It has a super thin consistency but is still very moisturizing, so it’s a good shaving soap because it won’t gunk up your razor. Smells like incense and patchouli.

Figs & Leaves Smells like dirt and grass, in a good way. Super cleansing. As in your skin will literally squeak after using it, so I recommend using an in-shower moisturizer like King of Skin after using it.

OTHER:

Atomic Toothy Tabs Solid toothpaste that you crush up in your mouth. It sounds weird but these things are phenomenal. They really leave your teeth squeaky clean, and are the sole reason my teeth are so white - I don’t use any whitening products. This particular kind smells like cloves and cinnamon.

Ultrabalm All Purpose Balm This stuff is amazing. It’s an all-over balm for rough spots. I use it in the winter time on my hands and lips, because they get dry. I also use it year round on my face where I get dry spots, as it doesn’t clog pores.

Silky Underwear Dusting Powder Another holy grail. If you could turn cocoa butter into a powder, this would be it. It’s not drying like baby powder, it’s more silky (it’s also talc-free). I use it between my legs to prevent chafing and under my boobs when it’s hot outside to prevent sweating.

[mylordhamlet-blog]

@sassypoptart

[spyderbones]

Ways I Am Exactly Like Alexander Hamilton

Not stupid

Not throwing away my shot

Young, scrappy, and hungry

Write like I’m running out of time

Haven’t slept in a week

Never gonna be president

[mylordhamlet-blog]

.

[mylordhamlet-blog]

i’m the unsettling combination of outdated urban slang and SAT vocabulary words

[wolfkitten]

I think I’ve found my soulmate.

[mylordhamlet-blog]

Let’s go out diggity dog @wolfkitten

[mylordhamlet-blog]

Here's a pic I just took because why not (Low quality camera, high quality girl)

[rabbitrah]

[trjoel]

Toast but gay

[wally-jo]

deep down i’m milk but grad school has turned me into avacado

[enterheavenalive]

I’m puddin

[benighten]

Tag yourselves, I’m Prick

[mylordhamlet-blog]

The Louisiana Purchase

Thomas Jefferson: I really want this land, but it's very expensive and there's no use for it.

James Madison: Treat yo' self.

[inaveryisland]

ellen @clamorandkhaos wanted me to make a meme say in the tags who u are im charley the treefrog

[mylordhamlet-blog]

i’m the unsettling combination of outdated urban slang and SAT vocabulary words

[earl-goupil]

tag yourself im bob

[malinerd]

Tag yourself as an egg I’m scrambo

[luciseaux]

this is a cute meme pls enjoy

[arielvevo-blog]

tag yourselves as a lil flower I’m Frank