“Mfs will put on a subliminal, say a few affirmations, go to bed and expect to shift lolll”
What the fuck else are we supposed to do 😭 physically pull our awareness out of our skull and place it down?? Drive it down the street for a coffee and ask politely ??
warnings: unprotected sex; oral sex (f!receiving); dirty talk; exhibitionism; voyeurism
summary: you were just a viewer until you became the whole show. this is the story of how you went from watching your favourite camboy to becoming a camgirl yourself
a/n: okay so i became obsessed with cam fics after i read @kloversung han cam fic and @channlust chan cam fic and they’re totally responsible for me writing this so i have to give them all the credits and the roses and you have to read their fics right now!!!!
you leave the last box just inside the front door and let out a long breath as you stand there, looking at your new apartment. the boxes full with your stuff sit against every wall - some of them are stacked neatly, labelled in thick black marker, but others are piled wherever you found an empty spot during your endless trips between your old place and this one.
kitchen.
bathroom.
clothes.
bedroom.
books.
the labels start blurring together as exhaustion settles deeper into your bones. you had spent the entire day moving, because from the moment that you woke up this morning, it’s been nothing but carrying, lifting, driving, unloading and then carrying everything all over again. moving always sounds simple until you’re actually doing it.
now that everything is finally here, everything is finally in your new apartment, you have to do the next part, which is to unpack everything you had spent days, even weeks packing.
“great”, you say as a groan leaves your lips.
you rub your face with both hands before looking around again. the sight is overwhelming but you know that if you leave everything until tomorrow you’ll have yourself later so you force yourself to start, at least with the essentials, that’s the rule.
you walk towards the kitchen and find the box labelled in large letters across the side and after wrestling with the tape for a bit, you finally get it open. inside are plates wrapped in newspaper, glasses protected by towels, utensils bundled together and various kitchen tools.
it’s not exciting or fun, but it’s necessary.
you begin putting things away one by one - the spoons, forks and knives go into one drawer, the plates into the cabinet above the counter, the bowls next to them and the glasses in the next one.
every movement feels slower than it normally would. your muscles protest each time you lift your arms but slowly, the kitchen starts looking less like and empty shell and more like a place someone actually lives in.
a small victory, but you take it anyway.
after finishing the basics, you open another box which has more kitchen supplies - your coffee mugs, a frying pan, a saucepan, the electric kettle you use almost every day. you smile a bit when you find it, at least tomorrow morning won’t be a disaster.
when you’re done with the essentials, there are still boxes against the wall but the kitchen looks functional. it’s not complete, not even close, but at least you can cook and eat here, and that’s enough for now.
you decide to focus on your clothes now so you move to your bedroom which is even more chaotic than your living room. there are boxes surrounding the bed frame you had put together earlier, suitcases sitting open near your wardrobe and clothes spilling from partially opened boxes.
you kneel beside one of them and begin sorting through everything - your trousers, your t-shirts, your dresses… you hang some items in the wardrobe and fold others into drawers. the repetitive task is oddly calming after the day you’ve had, you focus only on simple things. fold, stack, hang and repeat.
it takes you a bit longer than you had expected because you keep stopping to stretch your back and shake out your sore arms, and sometimes you have to stop when you find clothes that you don’t remember packing or even having in the first place.
you unpack enough clothes to get through the week and you decide to stop there for the day, closing your wardrobe and the suitcases and boxes. your room is definitely not finished, there are still boxes everywhere, but at least you know where some of your clothes are, you won’t have to dig through cardboard tomorrow to find a clean t-shirt.
you walk towards your living room again and look at the boxes that remain untouched. you know there are hours of unpacking ahead of you, maybe days, but that sounds like a future you problem, so you move to your sofa, which is one of the few pieces of furniture already in place, and practically collapse onto it.
the cushions sink beneath your body and a relieved sigh escapes you immediately. for the first time all day, you’re not carrying anything, or lifting boxes, or unpacking, or organising. no, you’re just sitting, finally. but despite the exhaustion, despite the aching muscles and the mountain of work still waiting for you, a small sense of satisfaction settles in your chest because the hardest part is over.
you let your head fall back against the sofa and close your eyes for a moment and then your phone suddenly beeps, cutting through the silence of the apartment. you open your eyes and reach for your phone, thinking it might be one of your friends checking whether you’ve survived moving day, but then you see the alarm and a small smile appears on your face.
“oh”
right, that alarm, the one you never forget to set, the one you look forward to always.
everyone has their own ways of relaxing - some people watch movies, some people read books, others play games after a long day and you? you relax watching your favourite camboy with his hands on his dick as your fingers disappear inside you.
you open his page and type your information without even looking, the process so familiar now that you barely need to think about it anymore. after some seconds, his page loads and you wait for the livestream to start. you see comments from other viewers already, all of you waiting for the same thing, waiting for him.
you shift further into the sofa, allowing yourself to relax properly as the anticipation kicks in. the screen flickers once and then the livestream begins.
leethighs is live.
he’s already there, sitting on the edge of his bed, his body framed from the neck down as always, you’ve never seen his face. his black boxers hug the thick outline of his cock and his chest rises and falls slowly.
the chat explodes the second he appears.
user69: fuck yes finally
cumslut: he is so hard already
he chuckles seeing the comments, his voice low and rough. one of his hands slides down his stomach, his fingers tracing the skin that disappears under the waistband of his boxers. he palms himself through his boxers, giving the whole length a squeeze so everyone can watch it twitch and swell even more.
“hi everyone, did you miss me?”, he says, his voice already teasing, “i’ve been thinking about you all day. wondering how many of you are already wet just from waiting for me”
his thumb moves to drag over the head of his cock, pressing the damp spot that’s starting to form and you have to stop yourself from moaning out loud.
“look how hard i already am for you”, he says.
your thighs press together on the sofa and heat pools between your legs, your cunt growing slicker with every lazy stroke he gives himself. you still don’t touch yourself, you just watch him, your nipples tightening under your t-shirt.
edgequeen: don’t take them off yet
princessonline: stroke your dick through the boxers more
the donations keep coming and he obeys instantly, laughing as he cups his balls through the fabric while his other hand keeps stroking his cock. the boxers are so tight now that the head of his cock is clearly outline, a dark wet patch spreading at the tip.
“so you wanna tell me what to do, huh? okay, i guess we can do that today”, he purs, his hips rolling forward into his own grip.
he moves his fingers to the waistband of his boxers and tugs them down just enough so the base of his cock shows, thick and veined. then he lets it snap back up, the elastic slapping against his skin.
you bite your lip, feeling your panties soaked through, the fabric clinging to your folds. he leans back on one hand, spreading his legs wider so the camera catches everything. his other hand traces his cock again, slower this time, circling the head with two fingers until another bead of precum soaked into the fabric.
“i can imagine all of you…”, he says, reading the comments, “so wet for me, already dripping. but stay like that for me, don’t come yet. i want us to do it together”
the chat goes feral.
edgequeen: please take them off now
user69: pull it out now
you decide to comment too, your thoughts completely clouded by him.
littlekitten: god i wish you could just fuck me
he looks at the comments and laughs softly, the sound going straight to your clit. both of his hands move to the waistband and he pauses there, letting the tension stretch for a moment and then, he peels the boxers down in one movement.
his cock springs free, the tip already shiny with precum. it slaps up against his stomach, before settling heavy between his thighs. he wraps one hand around the base, giving it a slow pump so a fresh bead of his cum wells at the slit and drips down his cock.
“there it is”, he says, “all for you”
your hand finally slips under your shorts and panties and you move two fingers through your soaked folds, parting them, feeling how swollen and wet you already are. you circle your clit a few times and then slide your fingers lower, pressing them inside you with a loud moan.
on screen he starts stroking himself more, from base to tip, twisting his wrist there. precum keeps leaking, making everything slick and shiny, and the wet sounds of his hand moving fill your room along with his low moans and yours.
princessonline: spit on it pls
the sound of another donation comes in again and he leans forward, letting a thick string of spit fall from his mouth onto the tip of his cock, the sight of it making you even more wet. his spit mixes with the precum, and he uses it to stroke his cock faster. you match him without thinking, your fingers moving in and out of you at the same rhythm, your thumb rubbing your clit now too.
the chat is pure chaos now as the donations keep flying in and everyone begs him to go faster, to go harder, to let them watch him come.
“fuck-”, he gasps, “i-i’m cumming”
your fingers curl inside yourself, pressing against your spot while your thumb works your clit faster. on screen his hand becomes a blur, his cock glistening and his thighs trembling.
“now”, he says, his voice rough, “want you to come with me. right now”
thick ropes of cum erupt from his cock, painting his abs and chest, while some lands on his hand as he keeps stroking through it. the sight pushes you over and your cunt clamps down hard around your fingers, pulsing as you come with a broken cry, your juices flooding your hand and soaking your panties even more.
he slows his strokes, letting the last few drops bead at the tip and drip down. then he leans closer to the camera, just enough for his smile to fill the frame.
“as always, it’s my pleasure. see you soon, you freaks”, he says and then the screen goes black, the livestream ending.
you pull your hand out slowly, your fingers shiny and trembling. you collapse deeper into the sofa, your body still twitching from your orgasm. you stare at the black screen, already counting down the hours until the next livestream, already wet again at the thought of watching him another day.
after some days, your apartment slowly transforms from a maze of boxes into something that actually resembles a home. there are still a few things left to do, like books waiting for their place on the shelves or pictures that are still leaning against the walls because you still haven’t decided where to hang them, but compared to the disaster that it was on moving day, the difference is incredible.
you can finally invite people over without having to apologise for the mess that your apartment is, which is exactly why your best friend jiah is coming today.
you stand inside the lift beside her as she carries a paper bag from the bakery close to the building, the lift slowly moving up towards your floor.
“i still can’t believe you’re finally done moving”, she says.
“i’m not completely done”, you say.
“you basically are, there are always things to do”
you laugh and then the doors slide open and you both step into the hallway. you lead the way towards your door and halfway there, something catches your eye, or rather, someone. a boy is standing outside the apartment next to yours.
your neighbour, which you haven't actually met yet. you’ve heard him a few times through the wall but that’s about it .
now he’s locking his door, a bag hanging over one of his shoulders and when he hears your footsteps, he looks up and his eyes meet yours.
“hi”, you say, offering a polite smile.
he smiles at you too, “hi”
from up close, he’s even better looking than you initially thought, a bit taller than you with dark hair and warm eyes. you have to force yourself not to stare at him for too long.
“i’m y/n, your new neighbour”, you say, “i moved in a few days ago”
“oh”, he says as his smile grows, “that was you?”
you laugh, “the boxes gave me away?”
“a little”
his voice is surprisingly gentle, it’s soft and tender, and you like it immediately.
“i’m minho, by the way”, he says.
“nice to meet you, minho”
“you too”
a brief silence settles between you and then he adjusts the strap of his bag.
“well, i guess i’ll see you around then”
“yeah”, you smile, “see you”
he smiles again, small and a little shy, then he gives a small bow before he walks towards the lift. you watch him walk away, your eyes on him until the doors of the lift close with him inside and then a hard bump lands against your shoulder and you jump.
jiah is staring at you, grinning, “i’m still here, you know?”
you shake your head and turn to your door, typing the code.
“you were staring at him”, she says.
“i wasn’t”, you say, your cheeks red.
“sure”
the door opens and you both walk inside.
“oh my god, y/n, it looks really good”
over the next fifteen minutes, you give her a tour of the entire apartment as she inspects everything, considering if this place is enough for her best friend. after she gives you her approval, you both move to the kitchen, the coffee maker humming quietly as it finishes.
once it finishes, you sit in one of the stools as jiah sits across from you, as you start talking about your work and your friends, just random gossip. then jiah takes a sip of her coffee and then a dangerous smile appears on her face.
“oh no… what?”, you ask her as you take a sip of your own cup.
“are you still thinking about your cute neighbour?”, she asks you.
you nearly choke on your coffee, “what? no!”
she starts laughing, “you totally are”
“i’m not”
“you were literally watching him walk away”
you shake your head, trying to hide your smile, but you fail.
“you’re impossible, jiah”
she rests her chin in her hand, “fine, maybe you’re not thinking about your cute, definitely hot, neighbour. you’re probably thinking about you cam guy”
your face heats instantly, “jiah!”
“what?”
“you always bring him up”
“because you’re obsessed with him”, she says, laughing.
“i’m not”
“yes, you are”
“no”
“y/n, you literally set alarms for his livestreams”
you groan while she laughs into her coffee again. to be fair, she’s the entire reason you discovered that world in the first place. months ago, she sent you a random link with a message that simply said “trust me” and the rest was history.
“you know, speaking of camboys…”, she starts saying.
“no”, you say.
“i found a new one the other day”
“no”
“this guy is-”
“jiah”
“just listen to me”
“i’m not interested”
jiah rolls her eyes, “you are so loyal to him”
“i’m not loyal, i’m just not interested”
“in anyone else but him”
you open your mouth, then pause and close it again.
her grin widens, “i knew it”
“oh, shut up”, you say which makes her laugh so hard she nearly spills her coffee, “i’m serious, jiah, i don’t need another one”
“okay…”, she says as she takes another sip, and then she leans forward, “but just so you know, this new guy does some absolutely insane things during his livestreams”
you immediately raise a hand, “no”
she leans back and sighs, “okay, fine”
but the mischievous sparkle in her eyes tells you she definitely isn’t finished with this conversation, not even close.
“and… have you ever thought about it?”, she asks you.
“thought about what?”
she tilts her head, “being a camgirl”
you pause mid-sip, the mug stopping just before your lips.
“… what?”
she shrugs, completely unfazed, “i think it would be cool, i’ve thought about it once or twice. you’ve never thought about it? like… at all?”
you set your coffee down, “i- no. why would i?”
she leans forward, her elbows on the counter, clearly invested now, “because it’s kind of hot”, she says simply, “i mean, the idea of people watching you, paint attention to what you do and them getting off to that”
you stare at her, “you’re serious?”
“completely”, she says, no hesitation in her voice, no joke hiding behind it, “i mean… i’ve thought about it, not like in a weird way or anything. it’s just… the control and the attention, the confidence. some people really like that”
you shift slightly on your stool suddenly aware of the conversation in a different way,
“i’ve never thought about it like that to be honest”, you say.
and the thing is, you find yourself not hating the idea either.
jiah smiles, like she expected that answer, and like she already knows the internal conflict you seem to be having. she moves to another thing, something about her neighbour being a pain in the ass, but your mind doesn’t fully follow because part of you stays stuck on what she said, stuck on it like it’s a thought you didn’t know you had until someone else said it first.
eventually, she checks her phone and sighs, “i should go”
“already?”
“yeah, i’ve got things to do”
you stand up with her, walking her to the door and hugging her once you reach it.
“don’t think too hard about it”, she says laughing.
“i wasn’t thinking about it”
she smirks at you, “yeah, sure”
then she leaves with a final wave and you close the door. you walk to the kitchen to clean the cups you used and then move to the bathroom to have a quick shower. once you finish, you go to your room and get dressed into comfy clothes, nothing too tight.
you are tidying up your room when you hear your phone, and you reach for it - the alarm.
the livestream.
you move to your bed, your body sinking onto the mattress and your heart already beating loud and fast against your ribs. you wait for a few seconds and then the livestream starts, a low rush of water echoing through your phone. you see him standing under the shower, the water falling over his chest and stomach. his cock is already hard, the precum already clinging to the tip before the shower rinses it away.
princessonline: holy fuck look at that cock
edgequeen: i think i just came from this
he laughs, reading the comments, “hi, everyone. i just came home from the gym and i couldn’t wait anymore. i knew you would all be waiting for me so i thought i could give you a show before i clean up”
his hand moves to his cock, wrapping around the base as the water moves down the length, making everything glisten.
you don’t hesitate this time. you take off your shorts and panties and then move your hand between your legs, your fingers moving to your already swollen and sensitive clit. you start circling it before you move two fingers inside your cunt, feeling how wet and ready you are. a soft moan slips out as you start moving them in time with his strokes.
cumslut: faster please
user69: fuck look at those thighs
his free hand braces against the wall while his hips roll forward, fucking his fist under the water, the wet slap of skin on skin mixing with his low groans. your thumb presses harder against your clit while your fingers move inside you. you write a comment, your breath coming faster as your orgasm grows.
littlekitten: those thighs look so fucking good, i wanna ride them until i soak them
he reads your comment out loud and laughs, “ride them, huh? maybe i could let you watch me flex while you grind on me sometime”
the chat explodes with more comments and donations. he leans his head back, the water hitting his chest as he works his cock faster. you match his pace, your fingers moving deep inside you, the wet sounds of your own pussy and the livestream filling your bedroom.
“i’m coming now”, he says, “i want you right there with me”
your orgasm crashes through you the second he groans and comes too, his cock pulsing as his cum mixes with the water and then washes away while he keeps stroking his cock. your cunt spams hard around your fingers, your fluids flooding your hand as you come with a broken cry and a loud moan.
he slows down, giving his cock a few lazy pumps before leaning forwards just enough for that familiar smirk to fill the frame.
“i know today was short but intense, but don't worry, i’ll see you soon”, he says and then the screen turns black.
you lie there, panting on your bed, your fingers still buried inside you. you think about what jiah said earlier, whether you’d ever considered becoming a camgirl. the idea no longer feels distant, and instead, you find yourself getting wet again, your body already reacting to the fantasy of being the one on camera, being the one making others touch themselves and come while you spread your legs for them and let them watch, being the one in control.
maybe it’s because you’ve spent the entire night thinking about what jiah said yesterday or maybe it’s because every free moment since you woke up this morning somehow circles back to her words, but the idea follows you everywhere.
you being a camgirl.
it’s not that you seriously plan to do it, or at least that’s what you keep telling yourself, but there is something about it that refuses to leave your mind, something thrilling and reckless. the thought of being seen, of knowing people are watching you… it’s terrifying and somehow that’s exactly why you can’t stop thinking about it.
you know yourself well enough to know that if you keep thinking about it, if you keep thinking about every possible outcome, you’ll never do it. so instead of overthinking, you decide to do the one thing you never do, which is act first.
you will do it just once, just for tonight. if you hate it, that’s fine, you can turn your phone off and pretend it never happened. nobody has to know, nobody ever will.
but if you don’t try, you’ll keep wondering.
so that’s how you find yourself now, sitting on your bed with a black lace bra and its matching panties sitting high on your hips, your phone propped on a stack of pillows and your heart beating so hard you can feel it in your throat.
you stare at the screen, then at yourself in the tiny preview window and then back at the screen again. your palms are sweaty and your stomach twists nervously. this is ridiculous, you should stop and put some clothes on, you should definitely not be doing this.
no.
you wanna do this, you wanna try this.
you take a deep breath and then another one, trying to calm yourself down, trying to slow your heartbeat. your fingers tap against your thigh and you look at the button again, one simple press is all it takes to go live.
you remind yourself that nobody is forcing you to do this, that if you hate it, you can end it immediately, forget the whole thing ever happened, the world won’t end there. you repeat that thought several times until it finally starts sounding believable, then you straighten your shoulders, take one last deep breath and before you can change your mind, you press the button and then the livestream starts.
you’re live.
the frame shows only what you planned, from your neck to your thighs, no one can see your face. for the first seconds, the viewer count stays at zero and then starts growing slowly.
maknaeontop: new girl??
midnightwolf: nervous? don’t worry we’ll be gentle with you
you swallow, feeling your cheeks burning, and then you speak, your voice a bit shaky, “hi… it’s my first time”
you close your eyes and shake your head, already regretting saying that, and you wonder again if this was really a good idea, if maybe you should turn the whole thing off before you do anything else but then, the chat explodes with comments.
strongspear: take your time baby
quokkjone: already hard just seeing the lace
aussielord: don’t be shy we wanna see you
you had seen thousands of comments like this in your camboy’s streams, but being on the receiving end is entirely different. a donation alert sounds and then you let out a shaky breath. you bring your hands up, your fingertips trembling a bit as they trace the edge of your bra. you feel your nipples tightening further under the lace and you circle them slowly, the lace rasping against them and a soft moan escapes your lips before you can stop it.
artprince69: fuck that’s hot
dirtypup: that body is insane
aussielord: do it again
you can’t deny it, your can feel your clit throbbing under the lace, desperate for attention. you bite your lip as you slide one of your hands down your stomach until your fingers rest on the front of your panties, the lace there already damp. you press two fingers against your covered clit and rub in small circles, the sensation making your thighs part a little wider without thinking.
strongspear: push the fabric aside baby
artprince69: keep going, it’s driving us crazy
the donations keep going and you obey the second comment. instead of moving the lace aside, you slip your fingers underneath it, finding your puffy lips and your swollen clit. you bite your lip hard as you start rubbing yourself, the wet sounds barely audible but unmistakable. your other hand moves to your breast, pinching your nipple through the bra until it aches.
quokkjone: moan for us pls
you let the sound out this time, moaning loud and clear, your back arching as you keep rubbing yourself.
“i-it feels so good…”, you say, your voice huskier than you expected, “oh, f-fuck”
the chat goes feral and then you change your position, kneeling on your bed with your knees spread. the camera now catches your hand moving under the lace between your legs, the fabric shifting with every stroke of your fingers, and you rock your hips forward, grinding against your own hand.
maknaeontop: those thighs are perfect
aussielord: just like that baby, rub that pussy
midnightwolf: fuck i’m gonna come
you push two fingers inside you and then curl them, the wet squelch much louder now. your other hand slips under your bra, squeezing your breast and rolling your nipple between your fingers.
“i’m so wet right now… can you hear how soaked i am?”, you say, your voice trembling but trying to sound sensual.
your orgasm builds fast and hard, your thighs shaking now. you press your palm flat against your clit and grind, your fingers still inside you as you keep moaning, almost screaming.
dirtypup: you naughty girl you’re this wet for us?
midnightwolf: mmm you look so good baby
artprince69: those sounds… fuck
the pressure snaps and then you cry out, your orgasm going through you in deep waves that make your whole body jerk. your legs tremble as the climax crashes through you, and it goes on and on, your juices soaking your lace and your inner thighs. when your orgasm ends, you stay kneeling on your bed, your chest heaving and your fingers still deep inside you.
aussielord: that was so fucking hot
maknaeontop: when is the next one??
strongspear: don’t make us wait
you smile, even though they can’t see your face, “i’ll be back soon… i hope you won’t miss me too much”
you lean forward, showing the lower part of your face and you blow a kiss, feeling brave enough to do that, which seems ridiculous when you think about what you just did. then you end the stream and the screen goes dark.
you pull your fingers out of you and look at them, completely soaked, the proof that you definitely enjoyed this and that this is not going to be a one time thing, because you’re already wondering how soon is soon enough.
what surprises you the most isn’t that you actually find yourself enjoying doing the livestreams, it’s how quickly it becomes part of your routine.
one livestream turns into two, two turns into five and then before you know it, almost a month has passed. your account has grown steadily during that time - at first only a handful of people showed up and now there are enough names in the chat that you can no longer keep track of everyone.
it’s strange and also addictive, not because of the attention alone, but because of the confidence and the control it gives you, the knowledge that every person is there watching you because they want to, just like you do with your camboy.
you become bolder with every stream, more comfortable and confident, teasing your viewers and talking more, but you never take your bra and panties off. that remains a line you haven’t crossed yet, but you’re not opposed to it either.
you are walking around the city centre and you find yourself walking through a lingerie boutique, wondering which little number you should buy for today’s livestream. a month ago, you would have never entered a store like this, and now you’re looking through racks of lace and silk, getting ready to show yourself to strangers online.
the confidence still feels unfamiliar sometimes, but not unwelcome.
you end up leaving the store with a white set that caught your eye the minute you entered the shop, elegant and daring, not letting much to the imagination. you keep thinking about how it will look on you on your way home. when you reach your building, you see the lift doors closing, and you start running, trying to get in.
“hold it, please!”, you say as you get closer.
you see the doors sliding open again and you enter, finding your neighbour minho there, inside the lift. he looks up when you enter and he smiles at you the moment he sees you. you return the smile, the doors closing behind you.
“hi, minho”
“hi”, he says, his smile growing now.
you move to stand next to him and you feel your heart speeding up. for some reason it always seems to do that when you’re around him. over the last few weeks, you’ve run into each other several times - sometimes in the hallway, others in the lift like today, sometimes when one of you was leaving and the other was coming home, and that one time he ran out of milk and asked you if you had some left that he could take.
the conversations are always short, always friendly, but every single one leaves you smiling afterwards.
“so”, he says, looking at the shopping bag in your hand, “successful shopping trip, i guess?”
you look down at your bag and move it behind you, not wanting him to see what’s inside.
“well, i think that depends on your definition of successful”, you say, turning to smile at him.
his eyes brighten with amusement, “that’s not an answer”
“it’s the only one you’re getting”
he laughs softly and the sound makes you smile even more.
“fair enough”, he says.
the lift continues moving upwards and he speaks again.
“how are you settling in?”, he asks you.
“pretty well, actually”, you say, nodding your head.
“no more box mountains?”
you groan and close your eyes, “oh god, don’t remind me, please”
he laughs again, “i take that as yes”
“i still find random things in weird places”, you say laughing.
“that’s part of moving”, he says, laughing as he looks at you.
the lift reaches your floor and the doors open.
“so this is us”, he says.
“this is us”
you walk into the hallway together, and as you get closer to your apartments, you wonder what he does all day, who he spends time with, whether he’s seeing someone but then you stop yourself and scold yourself internally. those are definitely the thoughts of someone developing a crush, a very obvious crush at that, and judging by the teasing texts that jiah keeps sending you every time you mention him, apparently you’re not hiding it very well.
minho stops outside his door and you stop outside yours.
“so… see you around?”, he says.
“yeah, see you around”
he smiles at you again and then you both turn to your doors, typing your codes and going inside once the doors open. despite the new lingerie sitting in your shopping bag, despite the livestream you already have later that evening, the person occupying your thoughts as you close the door behind you isn’t your audience, it’s minho.
you groan softly, “get it together, y/n”
you make your way to your bedroom and toss your phone onto the bed and then you set the bag on the bed and carefully pull the new lingerie out, which is even prettier and bolder than you remember.
leaving it where it is, you head to the bathroom and have a shower, but even under the warm water, your thoughts keep going back to minho, his eyes, his smile. you tell yourself to stop but your brain ignores you and by the time you step out of the shower, you’ve accepted defeat, you definitely have a crush on him.
great.
you change into comfy clothes first, nothing fancy, just something comfortable to move around in while you finish getting ready for the livestream. you dry your hair and finish your skincare, even though you won’t be showing your face.
eventually you’re satisfied and everything is ready, all that’s left is changing. you walk down the hallway towards your bedroom and then you reach for the handle and turn it.
nothing happens.
you frown and turn it again, but still, nothing.
“what?”
you pull harder but the door refuses to move. you try again and again but nothing, the door stays shut.
“no- wait, no, no”
you shove your shoulder against the door and it rattles but it doesn’t open. you try again, a bit harder this time, but still nothing. a frustrated sigh leaves you because of course this had to happen now, when you’re getting ready for a livestream and you don’t have your phone with you, because you left it in your bedroom before.
you push against the door again and the frame shakes but the door remains closed.
“fuck… seriously?”
you try a different angle, then another and another one, but nothing works. you hit the door with your shoulder again and again until you hear a knock on your door. you walk towards it and pull it open, finding minho standing just outside your apartment.
“hey”, he says.
“hi”
he gestures vaguely towards the inside of your apartment, “is everything okay? i heard… a lot of noise”
you immediately know what he means and heat creeps into your face, “oh god…”, you say as you cover your face for a second, “my bedroom door is stuck and i can’t open it”
his eyebrows rise and he nods his head, “right… you want some help?”
at this point, your pride is already beyond saving, “please”
you stand to the side and let him in, gesturing towards your bedroom. he walks there and then tries to open it but, to no one’s surprise, nothing happens.
“okay, so it’s actually stuck”, he says.
“yeah, thank you for confirming i’m not losing my mind”, you say laughing, making him laugh with you.
he tries to open it again, but it won’t open. he spends a couple of minutes like that, trying different things, but nothing, the door remains closed. then minho changes his grip, braces one foot against the frame and gives the handle a sharp pull while pushing at a different angle and the door suddenly swings open.
“oh my god”, you say as relief floods through you, “you did it!”
minho steps inside first to make sure nothing else is stuck and when he turns, his gaze lands on the bed, and your stomach immediately drops.
the lingerie, completely visible and completely impossible to miss.
panic takes over you and you move so quickly you nearly trip over your own feet. you plant yourself directly between minho and your bed, as if your body somehow became a curtain. minho blinks and then very politely looks anywhere except behind you. he looks at the ceiling, the wall, the window, the door, just anywhere.
you’re sure your face is bright red at this point.
“it’s… i…”, you start saying but you stop because there is absolutely no explanation that doesn’t make this worse.
thankfully, minho rescues you, “i should probably go”
“yes”, the answer comes out much too fast and you clear your throat, “i mean- thank you”
his smile returns, gentle and thankfully not teasing, “no problem”
you smile at him and then walk him back to the front door, the embarrassment following you with every step you take.
“thanks again”, you say, smiling at him.
“anytime”, he says.
“so, i uh… see you around, minho”
his eyes meet yours briefly, “yeah, see you”
he leaves and you close the door and lock it. you lean against it and exhale, you refuse to think about what just happened, you refuse to think about the fact that minho saw the lingerie, you refuse to think about what he might be thinking now.
nope, absolutely not, you have other things to focus on right now.
you take a deep breath and then return to your bedroom. you pick the lingerie up and then change into it. you check the lighting and the camera angle, then the pillows, making sure everything is ready. when you’re happy with it, you sit on your bed, and you feel your heart beating a little faster than usual but you know this time it’s not because of the livestream.
you shake your head and exhale again, leaning forward to press the livestream button. the viewer count climbs fast and within seconds the chat fills with messages.
strongspear: hello gorgeous
dirtypup: our baby is back
maknaeontop: oh fuck i’m already hard
you smile even though they can’t see your face and then you speak, your voice much more confident than the first time you did this.
“hello everyone… i bought this set for you today”, you say, letting the words roll slowly off your tongue, “do you like it?”
you arch your back a bit, making sure your nipples are clearly visible.
midnightwolf: white looks so good on you
aussielord: you look like an angel
your fingers trace the edge of your bra, and then move to circle your nipples. you pinch one, rolling it between your fingers, and a moan escapes your lips.
“mmhm, i’m already so sensitive today”
the donations start rolling in immediately. you slide your hand down your stomach and press one finger against the front of your panties, the lace already wet. you rub slow circles over your clit, your hips rocking forward to meet your own touch.
“i’m wet just from thinking about all of you… watching me”, you say as you spread your thighs wider so they can see your hand against the lace, “can you see how it clings to me?
quokkjone: fuck yes
artprince69: moan again pls princess
you start rubbing yourself quicker, your moans coming out much louder now. you slip your fingers under the lace and then slide two fingers through your folds while your other hand pushes your bra aside to pinch your bare nipple.
“oh god… i’m dripping”, you say, “wanna see how soaked i am?”
you pull your fingers out and hold them up so the camera catches the shine, then you slide them back under the fabric. you push those fingers inside you, the lace stretching around your wrist as you finger yourself and your hips roll with your movements.
the chat explodes with more donations and comments and then, one username appears that makes your stomach flip.
leethighs: you look so fucking hot in that white set
your breath catches. leethighs, the camboy whose livestreams started all of this. he’s here, he’s watching you. heat floods your face and your pussy clenches around your fingers, knowing he has his eyes on you just like you do with him. you keep your voice steady, trying to stay in character.
“thank you, leethighs”, you say, a little smile in your tone, “i’m glad you like it”
you keep touching yourself, your fingers moving faster inside your cunt while your thumb circles your clit.
leethighs: as much as you’re driving me crazy with that outfit, it’s not fair that you get to see me naked but i can’t see you
he knows, he knows that you watch him.
leethighs: take everything off
leethighs: now
your heart pounds. he wants you to be completely naked. you’ve never done that, but the idea of it only makes you wetter, the thrill taking over. you hook your thumbs into the sides of your underwear and slide it down your thighs, letting it drop. then you reach behind you and unhook the bra, letting it fall away too.
the camera now shows everything from your neck to your thighs - your bare breasts, your hard nipples and your completely exposed pussy, already glistening.
maknaeontop: i can see her pussy lips from here
strongspear: i’m stroking my cock so hard
artprince69: those are the most perfect cunt lips i’ve ever seen
the chat goes insane and more and more donations come in. you spread your legs wider and one of your hands returns to your cunt. you slide two fingers deep inside while you other hand moves to your clit, your fingers rubbing circles there.
“f-fuck, i’m so wet right now”, you moan, your voice shaking with pleasure, “i’m going to come so hard for you”
you keep hitting that sensitive spot, your hips bucking against your hand.
aussielord: fuck yes
dirtypup: look at her tits bouncing
quokkjone: i’m cumming
midnightwolf: don’t stop baby
your orgasm keeps building hard and fast and then, before you even realise it, your walls clench around your fingers and you come, your body jerking as you cry out. you keep rubbing your clit and moving your fingers through it, drawing it out until your legs shake and your breath comes in ragged gasps.
when your orgasm ends, you slowly pull your fingers out of you, completely coated in your juices.
leethighs: fuck
leethighs: i wanna lick you clean
you feel yourself getting wet again at his words and then, you lean closer to the camera, letting it frame your mouth and chin and then you bring your wet fingers to you lips.
“oh? like this?”, you ask teasingly and then you drag your tongue slowly over your fingers, licking every drop of your own arousal.
you suck two fingers into your mouth, hollowing your cheeks, making sure the camera catches absolutely everything.
quokkjone: FUCK
artprince69: that was so hot i just came again
maknaeontop: i wanna lick you too
you pull your fingers out with a pop and then bite your lower lip, “i’ll see you soon… don’t miss me too much”
you reach forward and end the stream, the screen going black once again.
you sit at your kitchen table with a mug in one hand and your breakfast in front of you as you try to think about what happened yesterday, about who was in the livestream yesterday.
you take a sip of your coffee as you think about him again, leethighs. the camboy you’ve been watching for months and the person who indirectly started this whole thing. he watches you, you.
you set your mug down and stare absently at the table, you can’t stop thinking about it, about him, about you doing the livestream naked just because he told you to, about you enjoying it more than ever.
the entire thing feels unreal.
you’re overthinking it, probably, you’re sure he watches dozens of streams, maybe hundreds, you’re probably not special. you shake your head and then stand up, taking your mug and plate to the sink, washing them before you move to wipe down the counter. and then, you hear your phone beeping.
you dry your hands and pick it up, walking towards the living room and sitting down on your sofa. you unlock the screen and then you see the notification - leethighs is live.
“what?”
you blink and check the time, then check the notification again. that can’t be right, he always follows a schedule, that’s why you have your alarms, that’s one of the reasons why his audience likes him so much, because everyone knows when he will be live.
but today isn’t one of those days, or at least, it isn’t supposed to be.
you open the app and sure enough, the red live indicator is sitting beside his profile and curiosity immediately takes hold of you.
why is he live?
you pull your legs up onto the sofa and stare at the screen, the livestream already running, and before you can talk yourself out of it, your thumb moves over to the stream button, ready to see what could possibly make him break his schedule for the first time since you’ve started watching him.
the stream loads and then fills your screen. he’s lying back on his sofa, wearing only a black t-shirt and tight grey boxers. the camera angle today is different, framed from his mid-thighs up to just under his nose and when his lips curve into a small, knowing smile, you think you’ve seen that smile and nose before, they look oddly familiar, but you push the thought away before you can overthink it.
edgequeen: schedule break??
user69: show us your dick now
cumslut: this is new
he shifts his hips on the sofa, the fabric of his boxers stretching over the obvious bulge between his legs.
“hello, littlekitten”, he says, drawing out your username, “i’m glad you’re here. i’ve been thinking about you since your little number yesterday. been hard ever since i saw you”
your stomach flips and you feel yourself getting wet instantly, your panties dampening as your stare at the screen.
“littlekitten, are you there?”, he continues, “say something for me”
your fingers tremble as you type.
littlekitten: i’m here, just surprised you’re live today
he reads it out loud as a small smile plays on his lips.
“surprised? i couldn't stop thinking about how hot you looked in that white lingerie, and then how hot you looked naked,,, how you licked your fingers clean for everyone… fuck, i’ve been hard all morning because of you”
princessonline: get naked already
cumslut: littlekitten made you break schedule?
your breath comes faster and then you slide your hand down between your thighs, pressing your fingers under your panties as you watch him.
littlekitten: take everything off
you don’t waste your time. he laughs and then moves the phone just enough to take the t-shirt off, leaving it somewhere behind him. then, he hooks his fingers into the waistband of his boxers and pushes them down.
“feisty one, aren’t you? it’s okay, i can tame you”, he says.
you see his cock thick and fully hard, the head already glistening with the precum. the camera is much closer than ever before and it catches every detail - the heavy length, the veins running along the shaft and the way it twitches slightly as he wraps his hand around the base.
edgequeen: holy fuck
user69: look how hard he is
princessonline: i wanna suck you off
you push your panties aside and slide one finger straight into your dripping pussy, then another one. he wraps his fist around his cock and strokes from base to tip, spreading the precum as his hips lift off the sofa with each stroke.
“you’re touching yourself now, aren’t you, littlekitten?”, he says, “i can imagine your fingers buried in that pretty pussy while you watch me”
you type with your free hand, your fingers still moving inside you.
littlekitten: yes… i’m so wet for you
he groans when he reads it and his hand moves faster, “good girl… keep going”
you spread your legs wider on your sofa, three fingers now deep inside you while your thumb circles your clit. your juices coat your fingers and drip onto the cushion beneath you.
“f-fuck, i’m… i’m close”, he says, the muscles in his forearm flexing as he jerks himself faster.
cumslut: this is so hot
user69: i’m dripping wet
edgequeen: he’s gonna come more than ever fuck
“come with me, littlekitten. i want you to come with me”, he says and that’s all it takes to break you.
your orgasm crashes over you and your thighs shake as your hips buck against your hand while you watch him come. his cock jerks in his fist and his cum shoots across his stomach and chest. he keeps stroking his cock, milking every drop while he groans your username again.
user69: this was so hot
princessonline: best livestream ever
he lies there breathing hard, his cum streaked across his skin and his cock still twitching in his hand. he brings the phone closer to his face, only showing his smile.
“as always, it’s my pleasure… and littlekitten, i’ll see you soon”, he says and then ends the livestream.
you don’t think too much of it, he probably means he’ll catch your next livestream. you close the app and then shift on the sofa, your panties completely soaked through and a bit uncomfortable now. you decide you need a shower, your thighs are sticky with your own wetness and you can still feel the aftershocks between your legs. you walk to your bedroom and get some clean underwear, some shorts and a t-shirt and then you head towards the bathroom.
the shower washes away the lingering discomfort from earlier and the clean clothes help you feel much better. your hair is still slightly damp as you walk down the hallway towards your bedroom and when you get there, you reach for the handle and turn it but to your surprise-
it won’t open.
again.
“you have to be kidding me”
you try again and the handle moves, but the door doesn’t.
“oh, come on”
you push, pull, push again, then pull again. but nothing, the fucking door refuses to move. you can’t believe this is happening again. after another few failed attempts, you let out a frustrated groan and run your fingers through your hair. your phone is thankfully with you this time but that doesn’t solve the actual problem.
you decide to ask for help this time so you go to minho’s apartment but the minute you’re there, outside his door, you hesitate briefly, and then knock. a couple of seconds pass and then you hear movement inside, footsteps getting closer before the door opens.
your brain immediately stops working the moment you see minho standing there wearing nothing but a towel around his waist.
your eyes widen and for one horrifying second, your brain completely short-circuits and then you spin around so quickly you nearly lose your balance.
“oh my god”, you say, the words escaping you before you can stop them, “i’m so sorry”
he laughs softly, “it’s okay”
you refuse to turn around, “ugh, no, it’s not”
“y/n, it’s fine, don’t worry”
you hear him chuckling and then you risk a glance over your shoulder and you see he looks more entertained than embarrassed.
his hair is damp and a few droplets of water still cling to his neck. clearly, you’ve interrupted his shower.
“what happened?”, he asks you.
you immediately remember why you’re here, “my bedroom door”
“again?”, he says, a smirk growing on his face.
“yeah, again”, you say, laughing now.
minho laughs and then nods his head, “okay, just give me a minute to get dressed”
“that’s fine, i will wait for you in my apartment”
“it’s okay, you can wait here”, he says as he opens the door wider.
“minho, i don’t-”
“y/n, really, i don’t mind”
you look at him and realise he’s not gonna change his mind, so you sigh and step inside.
“okay”
the layout is almost identical to your apartment but some things are different - the colours are warmer, the lighting softer, there are books and pictures on the shelves and plants near the windows.
“make yourself at home”, he says, “i’ll be right back”
then he disappears down the hallway and a moment later, the bedroom door closes behind him.
for a few seconds, you simply stand there because you don’t want to snoop but then you start looking at the bookshelf, the pictures and books there. you do anything that can distract you from the thought that you’re standing inside your very attractive and hot neighbour’s apartment, the same neighbour who you have a crush on. your gaze drifts around the living room and then stops on the sofa.
something about it feels familiar.
you walk closer to it and then your eyes narrow when you see a black t-shirt thrown carelessly over there, as though someone took it off and left it there without thinking.
your stomach suddenly tightens.
no.
you take a step closer, then another one. the shape of the cushions, the colour of the sofa, you’ve seen this before.
not in person.
you’ve seen it on your screen.
mere minutes ago.
“no way”, you whisper, your breath catching.
your mind immediately starts connecting the pieces together and then the realisation crashes over you all at once.
minho, your neighbour, the sweet and shy guy who lives next to you, the man whose smile has been occupying far too much of your brain lately, the man currently dressed in the next room.
it’s him, he’s leethighs. your camboy, the same guy who told you to get naked the day before, the same guy you told to get naked minutes ago.
and you’ve just figured it out while standing in the middle of his living room.
“you’ve figured it out already, haven’t you?”
you turn around and find minho in the living room too, his arms crossed over his chest, watching you with that same small and knowing smile you saw on the stream. he’s changed into a clean white t-shirt and black sweatpants that hang low on his hips. the fabric does nothing to hide the outline of his cock, already half-hard and pressing against his clothes.
he starts walking towards you, each step closing the distance until he’s right in front of you, close enough that you can feel the heat radiating off his body.
“you know… i had my doubts from the moment you went live for the first time”, he says, his voice quiet but steady, “your voice sounded familiar but then the other day when i helped you with your door and i saw the lingerie… the same one you wore later on the livestream… fuck, that’s when i knew”
he takes another step towards you, his chest nearly touching yours now.
“i’ve been losing my mind about you since the first time i saw you in the building when you first moved in”, he continues, his eyes locked on yours, “and when i found your livestreams? fuck. i couldn’t stop watching you. i couldn't stop thinking about you, thinking about you watching me, and how hot you looked the other day when i told you to get naked”
his breath ghosts over your lips and your bodies are pressed together now, the hard line of his cock nudging your stomach through his sweatpants. one of his hands comes up to cradle your jaw, his thumb brushing your lower lip.
“tell me if you want me to stop”, he says, “right now. say the word and i’ll back off”
you try to speak and when you do, your words come out shaky but certain.
“don’t stop, minho”
his mouth crashes onto yours and the kiss is hard and hungry, nothing like the shy neighbour you thought you knew. his tongue slides past your lips and your hands fly to his hips, your fingers digging into his clothes as you pull him closer. he groans into your mouth, one of his hands sliding into your hair while the other grips your waist.
he walks you backwards until the back of your knees hit the sofa. you tumble down together, his body covering yours and the make-out turns frantic. your legs part for him, letting him settle down between them as he grinds his cock against your cunt.
he breaks the kiss just long enough to look down at you, his eyes dark.
“i told you i wanted to lick you clean”, he says, his voice rough, “time to make good on that, huh?”
his hands move to your shorts and he yanks them down your legs, tossing them aside. your panties follow, as he drags them down your thighs until they’re off completely, leaving you naked from the waist down.
minho doesn’t waste time. he moves between your spread legs, his hands gripping your inner thighs and pushing them wider. his eyes drink in the sight of your glistening lips, your clit already swollen and peeking out.
“fuck, look at you”, he says, “already dripping from me”
then his mouth is on you, his tongue dragging a long and slow strip from your entrance up to your clit. he groans at the taste and his lips closer around your clit as he cocks, two of his fingers entering you with ease.
your back arches off the sofa and one of your hands flies to his hairs, your fingers threading through the strands as he eats you like a man starved. he adds a third finger, stretching you, the burn mixing with the pleasure, as his tongue keeps flicking your clit.
“minho- i… fuck-”, you moan, your hips rolling against his face.
he pulls back just enough to speak, his lips shiny with your arousal.
“that’s it, say my name while i eat you out”
then he dives back in, his tongue moving faster, his fingers moving deeper. your juices coat his chin and drip down onto the sofa beneath you. he shifts, hooking one of your legs over his shoulder to open you wider.
“f-fuck… m-minho!”, you say, screaming, as you arch your back again, “i’m- i’m close”, you manage to say, your voice breaking.
he doesn’t stop, if anything, he doubles down. his fingers move faster, pressing that special spot, and his tongue starts flicking faster too. your thighs start to tremble around his head as your orgasm, keeps growing and growing.
“that’s it”, he says, “come for me. now”
your hips buck uncontrollably against his face and then your orgasm crashes over you, your walls clenching around his fingers as you cry out. he keeps eating you out, gentler now but still insistent, drawing everything from your body until you’re shaking and spent.
he pulls back, his lips and chin glistening with you. he looks up at you from between your thighs, his eyes dark with need and hunger, and then he presses a slow, open-mouthed kiss to your inner thigh.
“good girl”, he says against your skin, “just like i imagined”
you reach for minho and pull him towards you, your fingers curling into the front of his t-shirt as you move his mouth to yours. the kiss turns messy and deep right away, your tongue sliding together while your hands roam over his chest and shoulders.
he groans into the kiss and then breaks away just enough to smirk, his breath hot on your face.
“eager, aren’t you, little kitten, huh?”, he murmurs, that knowing smile still playing on his lips as his eyes flick down to where your hands are already tugging at his t-shirt.
you don’t answer with words. instead, your hand slips down between your bodies, finding the hard outline of his cock through his sweatpants and then, you wrap your fingers around it and squeeze, feeling it twitch under your touch.
minho’s eyes flutter shut and he groans louder, the sound raw and needy against your mouth as he kisses you again.
your clothes come off in a rush after that. you yank his t-shirt up and over his head while he shovers his sweatpants and boxers off, kicking them away, his cock free now. you sit up just long enough to take your t-shirt off, leaving you both completely naked on the sofa, skin meeting skin, warm and urgent.
minho settles between your thighs again, his hand guiding his cock to your entrance. he pushes in slowly at first, letting you adjust to his size, then he sinks deeper until he’s completely inside you and then you both moan at the same time.
“fuck… you feel so good”, he says against your neck, starting to move.
his hips roll in deep and steady strokes, and you wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him closer to you as your hands grip his back.
“don’t stop… just like that, please”, you say, and he answers with a low moan, his pace picking up.
the sofa creaks under you as he fucks you harder.
“you’re so tight, f-fuck”, he says, his voice broken now.
“m-minho… i’ve… been thinking about this e-every time i watched you”, you say, your nails digging into his shoulders and he responds by grinding deeper, his pubic bone rubbing your clit with each roll of his hips.
he kisses you again, swallowing your moans while his cock drives in and out, stretching you perfectly.
“minho, i… i- i’m close”, you whimper against his lips.
he presses his forehead to yours, “me too… come with me, please, come with me”, he says, thrusting faster.
your orgasm hits first, your walls pulsing around him as you cry out, your hips meeting his. that pushes him over the edge and he comes with a groan, filling you as his body trembles with yours. you ride it out together, your bodies locked and shaking until the waves fade.
he stays inside you for a moment, catching his breath, then moves his head just enough to look at you. he brushes your damp hair from your face, his eyes soft now as he looks at you.
“you okay?, he asks you quietly, his thumb stroking your cheek.
you nod your head, smiling at him, “yeah… more than okay. you?”
he chuckles, pressing a slow kiss to your lips, “i’m perfect”
he leans in once more, capturing your lips again. his mouth moves slowly against yours, your tongues brushing lazily as his body remains pressed close to yours, the warmth of his skin seeping into you while his softening cock stays deep inside you, his cum leaking out with every subtle shift.
he moves back just enough to meet your gaze, a playful spark lighting his eyes now.
“you know… maybe we could do a livestream together sometime”, he says, his voice low and teasing, “you riding my thighs until you soak them like you said you wanted to do”
you laugh softly and swat his chest with your hand, the contact light and affectionate against his firm muscles and then you tug him down towards you again, pulling his mouth to yours for another deep kiss.
the library
likes, reblogs and comments are always appreciated 🌟
you’re not losing interest. you’re getting close and that scares you.
why you switch drs right when you’re about to shift…
if you’re someone who has multiple drs and finds yourself constantly flipping and floating between them, never staying focused on one for an extended period of time, and call yourself “lazy” “bored” or “inconsistent” because of it, listen tf up!
i’ve found that many shifters have a specific kind of resistance to messing up. they’ll experience great progress, building their confidence more and more until they have a “breakthrough” of sorts—maybe a shift, maybe a close attempt but then, just as suddenly, poof! they’re onto a new reality! a new fixation. if that sounds like something you do, my theory is that close attempts scare you because you start holding onto the outcome more after you’ve noticed something you’ve done has worked.
and going beyond that, you’re afraid the progress you’ve made still won’t be enough to “shift you fully”.
sometimes, underneath that need to switch drs exists a persistent fear of never fully getting to a single one. it’s a fear that you may push away or not address because you enjoy the variety of options but it’s equally one that just gets bigger with time because instead of sitting in that discomfort when it comes up, your mind redirects you sneakily.
switching to a new dr is basically an escape from facing that uncomfortable vulnerability because if you keep switching before you ever “make it” you never have to face the possibility of “never” making it at all. you can easily say “well, i’ve only been focused on this dr for a couple days so it’s fine that i haven’t shifted,” and never address the reason behind the switch.
but the reason behind the switch is important. when you get close to shifting, ask yourself if you apply a subtle pressure to the next attempt you have planned? do you secretly believe that your progress has to be linear otherwise you’re right back at square one? is it possible that you switch drs so that you never have to face having the close call not turn into a successful shift shortly after? is it possible that new dr = new square?
these are all questions you should ask yourself to know if you truly resonate with this post because the next part of this is going to give you tips on what i believe you should do when this trigger to switch realities comes up. and no, i’m not telling you to just “persist” and ignore the urge without any further explanation.
first, don’t analyze the attempt to death. right after a close attempt, don’t allow your brain to indulge in all you did wrong or all you did right. all you’re doing in that moment is creating pressure around results.
shifting isn’t a chore so it shouldn’t be examined like one. acknowledge that you did a damn good job and feel the joy from that.
next, you’re going to normalize it immediately. you having a close attempt isn’t rare, it isn’t huge, it isn’t monumental. this ties into law of assumption work. if you’re someone who believes you are worthy of shifting, that your dr is not above you, and that you’re the master shifter you desire yourself to be, act like it’s something that can happen again, because it is. remember, that the more you pedestal that reality, the more you’ll have to “work” to reach it. if you act like getting close to fully shifting there is something that’s out of the ordinary for you, you’ll only make the reality seem large and daunting and serious in comparison. hence, the urge to switch realities for a “fresh start”.
third—and this is directly in tow to the second tip—release the pressure off that dr. your urge to switch drs is coming from the fact that it matters too much to you now whether you “succeed” or “fail”. so in order to remedy that, reassure yourself that you don’t have to get there the very next time. it’ll happen when it happens! i want you to keep that playful and curious energy within your attempts. you don’t need to “lock in” more directly after some success. reconnect with the dr in a casual way. intensity will breed more pressure when you’re the kind of person who avoids serious things. your dr isn’t serious. it’s just home.
and if you still find yourself wanting to switch drs after all that, sit with the urge you feel and question why. make sure it’s not stemming from a place of avoidance, pressure or fear of failure. if you feel scared that you won’t be able to replicate that most recent attempt, free yourself from the need to do just that. purposely disregard attempting and pour your focus into connecting to the dr in a non-method coded way. listen to music, watch media related to it, go on pinterest, write stories!
stick with the reality, but don’t go out of your way to attempt to shift unless you’re positive you’re capable of keeping it light and curious.
and instead of trying to trap yourself to this one reality because you haven’t shifted there yet, allow yourself to commit to it because you simply want to see it through and still hold excitement for the place. remember that you never have to stick to any dr. when you feel like you have to, your brain is more inclined to rebel and quit.
all of these tips should help you to make that reality and shifting feel safe, which is all i really am trying to promote here. shifting is not high stakes. it’s not life or death. don’t resist the shift by putting unnecessary pressure onto it. your dr is home. home should not feel heavy.
"your man this" "your man that" OMG WAIT. MY MAN??!?!?!?! MY. MAN??!!??!?!???
i dont even look at the rest of the sentence after i read those two words... so.. i do have it bad for my s/o i fear...
I 𝒶bsolutely love when shifters have this deep love towards their s/o, cause I have it towards mine. It’s that painful but warm feeling in your chest every time you see them because you just love them sooo much. shifters love so deeply 💌
seeing shifting getting popular again just in different packaging is nice and all but it does piss me off a little. you all called us fucking crazy but the second there’s proof of ancient civilizations doing it, you turn around and love this new great idea. like we haven’t been saying this existed the whole fucking time. the same people who were shitting on shifters are now all excited about nikola tesla speaking of living years in his own mind and meeting people there that helped him with his work. are you serious? it’s almost like we were right the whole time.
Does anyone else feel so attached to their s/o to the point they don’t date here or in any other reality because it feels like cheating?
Before you say it’s not cheating, I know it isn’t. I personally just feel so devoted to her that it makes me feel guilty if I even ENTERTAIN the idea of dating anyone else.
That being said though, I am not a hater to anyone who has multiple s/os. I have many friends who do and I have no judgment towards them at all. I used to have multiple until I just realized what me and my s/o had, I don’t think i’ll ever find it anyone else. And i’m okay with that. I only want her.
Maybe this is the Aphrodite kid in my speaking but, I genuinely feel like she is my soulmate and nobody else could ever make me feel like she does. I crave her in the most innocent ways you could imagine.
SLEEP PARALYSIS IS YOUR BEST FRIEND+ LONG STORYTIME OF HOW I SHIFTED WITH IT ✨
Okay here me out as someone who has been "traumatised" during sleep paralysis ( I felt a hand go up my legs and I was wearing a night dress mind you) it's not actually as scary as you might think.
Because Sleep paralysis is when a person transitions between sleep stages, particularly from REM (rapid eye movement) sleep, during which the body is naturally paralyzed to prevent acting out dreams, into wakefulness.
It is harmless and I'm sorry to say this but those "shadows" that you see are actually a projection of your subconscious mind. What is it that's actually scaring you?
Is something that you should seek to discover or else you might be stuck and keep on waking up every time you feel an intense symptom or feeling. Journal it or whatever method you use and tell yourself that it's all in your head and that you are more powerful than that and most importantly you are safe.
Storytime
Okay so I was planning on doing an awake method and I decided to lay on my back since I sleep when I'm in a comfortable position. Anyway I got my subliminal and started counting. I counted till 100 then I started affirming I felt the usual symptoms; twitching, feeling really hot etc but then nothing was happening and was starting to get impatient. I told myself lemme just count the last time till 50 then I'll just go to sleep because I was also starting to get sleepy. I started counting then when I reached 15 I felt a pressure on my chest like something was pushing me down like aggressively but I told myself that I'm not going to get scared cause I thought I was shifting so I continued counting. I reached around 35 when my eyes opened on its own , I was so excited but when I looked around I was still in my room and I almost crashed out because I was so done atp 😭✋🏽. I tried to move but I couldn't and I could still hear the subliminal that's when I knew that I had sleep paralysis. Since I've never seen any "demons/shadows" I wasn't scared and I thought lemme try shifting to my Dr but I didn't specify which one and it still pisses me off to this day!!!
Anyway I started affirming that, " I'm in my Dr" over n over when suddenly my legs started floating and my eyes like shut themselves and I couldn't open them I started being scared because wth 😭. Anyway I just kept affirming and then I saw flashlights, it was like there were cameras flashing around my eyes . When suddenly everything stopped and my eyes opened by itself.
I noticed that I was in an all white room with white sheets and there was a woman next to me. I sat up because I was confused on which reality I was in and I looked at the woman and saw that it was Aurora ( the singer, I luv her sm😭) she was seated on the bed and was reading a book , she glanced at me and I immediately asked her which building are we in and she looked at me like I was fucking crazy and started saying that my jokes are turning to be pathetic, like huh?!?😭 Y'all I was so offended I had even forgotten that I had shifted for a second. I just decided not to argue with her and I looked outside the window on my left and it looked like the medieval times? I'm not sure and the buildings were like the old times designed . I looked down at myself and I saw that I was white ( I'm mixed) and that's when I was like, "Did I shift to a reality where I'm a white person?"( Oh and I was wearing a grandma nightdress 😭it was cute tho it was in baby pink) Immediately I stood up wanting to like know where the hell I was but then I couldn't move my legs like I couldn't lift them so I was just awkwardly standing there trying to lift them and Aurora sighed saying " How do you expect to walk after the night you just had?"
WHEN I TELL YOU MY JAW WAS ON THE FUCKING FLOOR I LITERALLY SCREAMED AT HER"WHAT?! " and she told me to shut up 😭. Anyway she said that 'he' told her to come up to check on me because I wasn't waking up!!! I was shocked and I just kept thinking " Did I just get fucked a few hours before I shifted here? What if I had shifted in the middle of it?!" My mind was so chaotic and I couldn't even think of anyone that could have been 'him'
Anyway Aurora came and pushed back on the bed telling me that I have to rest because I haven't really slept much but then I started feeling like my body was being pulled down and I knew that I was shifting back and started pleading to Aurora to help me up because I was not sleepy but she insisted and told me to sleep and that she'll be right back and then I woke up here.
I was in shock for like 5 minutes and I couldn't even leave the bed, I was feeling a little disoriented and nauseous, I also noticed that my body had moved positions to me laying on my side.
Hope this motivates you n that you don't need any genetics to shift that's a load of bullshit🚮, your cat can even shift if it could who knows . And this was to also show you that sleep paralysis isn't scary or bad and can actually be useful. I'm still not sure if you can manifest through it but I'll try next time and see✨.
This is what I Saw one woman wearing, not sure which time period this is.
THE “BLOODSTORM B*TCH METHOD” A HACK TO ENTER SLEEP PARALYSIS.
you wanna get into sleep paralysis, huh? you’re sick and twisted, and i’m LIVING for it. well, buckle up, because i’m about to give you the nastiest hack that’ll have you stuck in your bed like a hot mess in a haunted house. get ready to get frozen, baby.
1) lie on your back, you lazy bitch. – you wanna play with the big leagues? Well, first, you gotta get in the right position. don’t try to get cute. if you wanna see the dark side, you better go full “corpse mode” and lie flat on your back like a dead fish on a slab.
2) don’t even think about moving. – not even a toe, honey. stop twitching—we’re here to make your body think you’re already dead. it’s called commitment, sweetie. and we don’t half-ass things around here.
3) breathe like you’re on a vacation in bora bora. – slow, deep breaths. Imagine you’re asleep but not really. your body’s gonna think you’re in a coma, while your brain’s wide awake, fully aware, and ready to take over the universe.
4) wait for that tingling sh*t. – the moment you feel like you’re stuck in a damn electrical storm with a side of heavy bricks on your chest, congratulations—you’re entering sleep paralysis. now, hold onto your damn pearls, because this is where the fun starts.
5) STAY THE HELL CALM, BITCH. – when your body’s frozen like a popsicle, you’ll be tempted to panic like a little bitch, but guess what? that’s what the losers do. you just lay there, eyes wide open or closed, and pretend you’re unfazed.
6) now, do whatever the hell you want. - want to dip into the void? affirm, “i’m in the void, motherfucker,” and let yourself fall into pure nothingness. It’s like your own private club and only YOU are invited. want to astral project? Imagine yourself floating up like a heavenly diva and watch your body lay there, pathetic and useless.
— EVERYTHING ABOUT THE VOID STATE | VANILLA EXPLAIN'S
— VOID STATE MEDITATION METHOD
— USING REM FOR THE VOID
— ENTER THE VOID STATE IN 3 DAYS
— ENTER THE VOID STATE OVERNIGHT CHALLENGE
— ENTER THE VOID USING HOLOTROPIC BREATHING
— FIX YOUR VOID CONCEPT IN 3 DAYS
— TWO OPTIONS TO ENTER THE VOID STATE
— WHY THEY ENTERED THE VOID AND YOU HAVEN'T
— DOUBTS
— EASY METHOD TO ENTER THE VOID (NO MEDITATIONS, LOA, SUBLIMINALS, ETC)
— LUCID DREAMING AND HOW TO ENTER THE VOID
— I ENTERED THE VOID STATE
— FILD CHALLENGE
— MY TAKE ON MANIFESTING + HOW TO USE IT TO WAKE UP IN THE VOID
— PINK'S SUCCESS STORIES PACK
— I AM SURE × SATS CHALLENGE
— COMMAND YOUR MIND TO WAKE UP METHOD
— SATS AND WIM HOF METHOD
— VOID STATE HYPNOSIS
— WAKE UP IN THE VOID SUBLIMINALS
— YOU'RE NOT LACKING IN SELF AWARENESS, YOU'RE LACKING IN SELF LOVE
— VOID STATE SUBLIMINAL + SUCCESS STORY
— VOID STATE SUBLIMINAL + SUCCESS STORIES
— HALOKISSES VOID POSTS
— ANONS FAQ
— LEARN TO ENTER THE VOID STATE INSTANTLY
— WIM HOF TECHNIQUE
— EYE TRICK TO ENTER THETA STATE
— HOW TO RELAX
— YOU'RE SABATOGING YOURSELF
SHIFTARS
— LET'S TALK ABOUT THE VOID STATE
— HOW TO ENTER THE VOID STATE
— THE VOID STATE AND THE MEANING OF LIFE
— HOW TO ENTER THE VOID STATE (PART 2) AND SHIFT REALITY
ASTERIAAS-STUFFS
— THE I AM STATE
— SELF HYPNOSIS TO ENTER VOID
— WHY ARE YOU NOT GETTING IN VOID
— TIPS TO ENTER VOID
— TIPS THAT WILL MAKE YOU ACE IN SELF- CONCEPT / VOID SC
LITTLEMISSPRETTYPRINCESS
— APPLYING LOA/STATES FOR THE VOID
— LITTLEMISSPRETTYPRINCESS'S GUARANTEED VOID STATE CHALLENGE
— VOID STATE CHALLENGE
— WAKING UP IN THE VOID STATE MINI CHALLENGE
— AFFIRMATIONS FOR THE VOID STATE
B4DDPRINCESS
— MY BIGGEST EPIPHANY EVER: THE "VOID" STATE IS JUST ANOTHER TERM FOR WHT IT ACTUALLY IS … —HOW IT WORKS
— PUREST STATE OF CONSCIOUSNESS: IN–DEPTH GUIDE
— THE VOID STATE IS JUST ANOTHER STATE OF CONSCIOUSNESS
— YOU KNOW WHAT THE CHEAT CODE LOWKEY ALWAYS WAS?
— PUREST STATE OF CONSCIOUSNESS: THE SIMPLE YET FULL GUIDE
— I KNOW THE TERMS USED CAN BE QUITE INTIMIDATING
— I DON'T THINK IT ACTUALLY CLICKED FOR Y'ALL THAT PURE CONSCIOUSNESS IS JUST A STATE OF CONSCIOUSNESS
CLOVERAPPLE
— HOW I ENTERED THE VOID IN LESS THAN 5 MINUTES LAST NIGHT
— HOW I SHIFTED + ENTERED THE VOID RECENTLY BY CONTROLLING MY EYES
— WBTB HACK FOR SHIFTING, THE VOID, LUCID DREAMING, AP, WHATEVER YOU WANT
— HOW I SHIFT/ENTER THE VOID WHENEVER I WANT
Your breathing goes wrecked. Your responses turn sloppy. Your head tips back, mouth falling open around broken little sounds you’re not even trying to control anymore.
He laughs — low, rough, completely satisfied.
“Ohhh,” he mutters. “There it is.”
You try to say something. Anything. But it comes out wrong — too soft, too messy — like your brain can’t quite keep up with what your body’s doing.
He grins, wide and cocky.
“Damn,” he says. “I really broke you, huh?”
He leans closer, presence overwhelming, eyes locked on your face like he’s watching every reaction on purpose.
“Look at you,” he continues, smug as hell. “Can’t even talk right. Just making noise for me now.”
Another whimper leaves you, body reacting before your mind can catch up.
Minhos’s hand steadies you, grip firm — not to slow down, but to keep you right where he wants you.
“Nah, don’t try to think,” he says, voice low and dominant. “You’re way past that.”
He smirks, clearly proud.
“This is all me,” he adds. “Got you so messed up you don’t even know what’s going on anymore.”
Your reaction is immediate — breath hitching, fingers tightening, another helpless sound.
He watches it happen, eyes dark with satisfaction.
“Yeah,” he says. “That’s it. Let it happen.”
Cocky. Loud. Fully aware he’s the reason you’re completely gone — and loving every second of it.
TYSM for reading!!
Feel free to check out my Master list part 1 and Masterlist part 2 to see more of my works! (Part 2 has my newer and better ones)
stormborns
yousharknotpass
ellievsbear
jacobvanloon
pixelskylines
areudirty
origamiaround
germansingergirl
