live, laugh, leech

Things I say to my partner. I’m so lucky they haven’t killed me :)

[mypartnerscreature]

Guys… he’s real

You can hug him

Why aren’t you hugging him?

Do you want him to be sad?

I would never make you sad caterpillar

I love you always

[mypartnerscreature]

It’s 2236:

over 100 years since a giant solar flair wiped out the entire internet

physical media being virtual extinct for over 40 years now, so much media from the early 21st century has been lost to time

However, some media was so popular they created memes that outdated the media itself

Two notable examples are the shows House and Seinfeld

Although no recordings or scripts of the show survive. We know exactly how the shows were written due to memes.

for over 100 years after both shows stopped running, memes where characters such as Dr. House and George Constanza comment on the events of the time still persisted

The consistency with which dialogue is written in these memes gives us a glimpse of what early 21s century people were entertaining themselves which before the Fresh Water Crusades of the 2080s

[mypartnerscreature]

Been torturing my partner with sexy sheriff toadster

[mypartnerscreature]

Anyone have an Epic of Gilgamesh “slime tutorial”

Asking for a friend

[mypartnerscreature]

We testing god today

[mypartnerscreature]

Call my ex comedy the way he always came in three

[mypartnerscreature]

Was trying to remember the name of the serial killer who ate his victims that blew up in the public consciousness a few years ago when that documentary came out.

First name that came to mind was Shane Dawson

[mypartnerscreature]

[mypartnerscreature]

Call my oc pregnant the way he’s well rounded

[mypartnerscreature]

Forever my Midwest Princess

[mypartnerscreature]

One bug in my room:

Friend keeping me company

Two bugs in my room:

Concerning, possible infestation, requires further investigation

[mypartnerscreature]

In are in the later seasons of the Trump Presidency sitcom where the writers have given up so they give Trump the B plot of sleeping while the A plot is wrestling

The writers have jumped so far over the shark they accidentally wrote their sitcom into existence

Welcome to a reality written by a bunch of underpaid writers working on a show they knows no one will watch or care about

[mypartnerscreature]

Went to ren fair recently and a worker playing the part of ye old courier and was delivering ye old spam mail

[mypartnerscreature]

Me on Wednesday, “I’m going to work tomorrow night”

Me on Thursday, “I’m going to twerk tomorrow night”

[mypartnerscreature]

Call me an omega the way I’m a verse

[mypartnerscreature]

she call me the Mandalorian the way I grow till I gu

[mypartnerscreature]

Queen ants must hate Mother’s Day

Mom! Happy Mother’s Day! Me and the gals have been carving out a new den system that will be warmer for you and your 5000 larva.

Please do not resist as we collectively drag you to your new home so you can continue to birth our sisters :)