The Space Between Time

She was love. She loved places and people selflessly and sometimes carelessly. Falling in love over and over again. She had dreams and she loved writing about them in her spare time. People didn’t know this about her and she liked it that way. She revealed just enough to people and the rest of it on to here. Some were words she was scared to say, other times, they were revelations. Life, to her, had its own alluring way of working itself out but she had to actively play a role in making it all make sense. All, as in everything that goes on in her extraordinary magnificent life she had created out of her ordinary day-to-day. So here it is. Here are my poems I’ve written telling you of my story. I wanted to share it, in the hopes that it may be of relevance to you. These are poems written for all those you’s that shall not be named and for my own self. I hope you like them and thank you for visiting this blog. Please leave a comment if you have any thoughts (hopefully kind words please). Thank you x

[mypoetrybook]

I am so glad I waited because you finally came

Glaringly obvious

It is you

Thank fuck you arrived

[mypoetrybook]

What they don’t tell you about travel romances is the ache and pain of a heart that’s not necessarily broken but a heart waiting for answers. That the universe can conspire to bring two people together. That maybe somewhere whilst en route to a place, we think of each other. The deal with these romances is time doesn’t really heal and things don’t necessarily get better. You just grow to accept it. But the pain lingers… the yearning for each other… for him… I am in pain. I miss him too much. At one point I thought how can I end up with him, and now all I want is to end up with him. But will I betray myself? Will it be too difficult? Thoughts of these do linger… but so do thoughts of how we can be. How I can grow to learn him and him to learn me. How we communicate blissfully, and how we felt as comfortable as strangers could be… how is this possible? We played in the thought of fantasy, dreamt of life together and played house. That to this… the anticipation, the ambivalence, the hesitation… my thoughts trying to figure out your thoughts. Confusion and indecision. All about the future. But is it an evil to just focus on the present? Am I doing something bad? Tell me… what if we were to make this work and I wasn’t the only optimistic one in this. What if we let this become the greatest love story of our lives? Or am I also living in fantasy?

[mypoetrybook]

I sit with the presence of you

What would happen if we allowed this to become something

What if we looked at the bright side of life

And dwell in the possibility of us

What if I’ve been looking all over for you

The same level of crazy

What if it is you?

Because how else do you explain

One night turning into 2 months of conversation

Across land and ocean

Our upcoming roadtrip

Casablanca to Sevilla

How can you make sense of it?

So what if we don’t

What if we go with it

And accept this as one of the grandest adventures of our lives

[mypoetrybook]

My darling

My intuition tells me

To trust this

[mypoetrybook]

I almost don’t want to allow myself to go there

But I know where I’m going when I think about us

How you came to me like sunlight

Flickering bright

Seeping through the laced window sheets

Just there

How I know you are

How you stay

And how light you make me feel

What if

This turns into something lasting

You and me

Have you thought about that?

[mypoetrybook]

I want to memorize everything about our encounter on the Ibiza beach that evening

How the sun was just setting

And we were doing what we didn’t know

Love making

How I told myself to remember this moment

I want to remember everything you told me

So they are etched into me

The dreams we shared of visiting each others foreign land

Were they dreams?

How that night

All of a sudden turned into

One month

I find myself thinking about you

All the time

How my days get filled by thoughts constantly wondering about you

About when I’ll see you next

How it’ll be

I will admit

I get all hot thinking about us

About that night in the car

How our first kiss was in the sea at sunset

How I wanted to tell you everything

And show you everything

How much I trusted you

We spoke like teenagers that night

Held hands like teenagers

Beaming from each other

You make me feel like the most beautiful in the world

And little do you know

So are you

Your laugh

How you spoke to me

To the waiter

Your thank yous

Every word

I kept on telling you all night it was random how this became

But look at how it is now

You’re still here

Still captivated

You meant your words

You kept your promises

And with that

Kept me

[mypoetrybook]

Rom com dreams

Just to finish the reality that was created

[mypoetrybook]

What is it like…

To not know what you’re going to do next

To allow yourself to feel lost

To not have a solid plan

To be whoever you want to be

To do whatever you want to do

…it’s to be free

It is this feeling right now

[mypoetrybook]

And everything happens for a reason

Remember that

[mypoetrybook]

The war is over

I can finally let go of my armor

And go live

[mypoetrybook]

I know you won’t text me

But I wait for your text

A how are you

I’ve thought about you

Instead I wonder if you think about me

And how much you do

I wonder if we could be friends

And who would give in first

If we’re still playing that game

And then I think back to the first moment we met

How I laughed

And how I knew

This was something strong

I think you knew it too

And what if it was the right person at the wrong time

And what if I could be hopeful for a sec

[mypoetrybook]

My heart is broken

I’m broken

The aches and pains of life come swallowing me whole

I am sinking

Escapism

The only thing on my mind

Get me out of here

Fill me with joy and those who care about me again

I feel isolated

Alone

Away and secluded

Despite being in the busiest city in the world

My heart hurts

I am fully heartbroken by my life not meeting expectations

My heart hurts from the friends who hurt me with their words and lack of presence

It hurts from mourning a boy who didn’t keep me and let me go

From missing him every day

It hurts from my own expectation of myself not meeting up to my standards

It hurts from living alone

From the cruel words said to me by people I liked over the past few weeks

“Blackmail”

“This is logical”

“Say sorry”

Words screaming

Sharp daggers

And this is where I admit

I’m too soft for this world

Too soft for everyone who has pained me

I wonder if they know

I wonder if karma comes back

And I wonder if things will look up and change

[mypoetrybook]

5/4/25

I wished things played out differently

That I could exhale and feel relieved

That is feel like life was working for me rather than against me

But maybe I’ll know someday why things are

That a repeat of careers

Mishaps in relationships

Broken hearts and emotional exhaustion

Will lead me to go elsewhere

That my life is changing and shifting before my eyes

And I’ll be all okay at the end of it

See, I don’t know if I fit in here

I think I thought I used to

But I really don’t know now

Is this place for me?

Am I the happiest I can be here?

Is it my time to go?

[mypoetrybook]

I think about you

More than I’d like to

More than I’d like to admit

And I wonder

Do you think about me too

Do you almost wonder what could’ve been?

Or was I a fleeting thought

Never strong enough

To stay permanent

What was it?

[mypoetrybook]

I don’t know why or how but it feels like I’ve backtracked. Thoughts of you flood into my 1am. Thoughts of us, and the way you went about your words. Our deep conversations right before we fell asleep. And how deeply I slept next to you.

You disappeared. Taking with it, your ego, dignity, pride, and part of my broken heart. Maybe hearts break because they take a piece from you. That you’re no longer close to part of your heart. That maybe you miss them because they hold a special place in your heart and maybe they’re a part of you.

You were a part of me. In our intertwined cultures and sheets. Now, apart from me. Left me missing you, speaking to you as if you were with me. Wishing I could tell you everything that’s happened. Wishing things were different. Wishing you’d grow up and saw what was right in front of you was right for you.

And how you let me go. Just like that. Almost cruel, if only I let it play out in your storyline. But I didn’t. I walked away, repeating the words enough. Enough. No more of this. I walked away away knowing my heart is broken, knowing I wasn’t going to turn back, and knowing that one day, the storyline wouldn’t play out this way.

That one day, the storyline will be a happy one. And on that day, I wouldn’t think of you and how you let go of the gemstone that was me.

What if I deserved better and you knew this.

I’ll let myself miss you tonight because you’re worth missing. But I wonder if part of you misses me too… and how you wish you could tell me what’s been going on in your life. And wonder just how wonderful life could’ve been to have me next to you living it.

I’ll be okay. Tonight I’ll miss you.

[mypoetrybook]

All I ever wanted was for you to reciprocate how much I liked you

And in return, I’ll make you the happiest person and you to me

[mypoetrybook]

I missed you today

How I’d give to live in the moment with you for a little while longer when we had each other

Do you think about me too? Tell me, do you ever think about returning?