squeeze chronicles

neosplorin’

[ruinedchildhood]

[iconicanemone]

[myroomtemperatureapplesauce]

literally saving this for all dark moments when i need a pick me up

[captain-price-returns]

Arrest everyone involved.

[captain-price-returns]

Money saved: maybe a couple million dollars.

People killed: around three quarters of a million.

[crippled-peeper]

I got this extremely snotty angry reply to one of my gardening related posts once that was to the effect of “the only people who garden are wealthy because it’s entertainment and you don’t have to survive off it” from a communist catgirl anime icon haver and I just looked at my foodstamps-funded collection of garden vegetables in the back yard and fucking screamed at the top of my lungs

[moniquill]

Fellas, is to bourgeoisie to ::checks hand:: till the soil to grow food crops?

[smegmafactory4prez]

Sorry I commented "fag alert" on a picture of your newborn baby 🙄

[spectrometrie]

when i was a kid my parents bought me an inflatable doll of the Scream by Edvard Munch (??) that was significantly taller than i was at the time and i used to slow-dance with it and pretend it was my boyfriend. It had its hands attached to its head obviously so it felt like he was always a bit horrified to be forced to dance with me

[spectrometrie]

i didn't need no imaginary friends i had Screaming Joe right here !

[omgeddon-deactivated20260424]

I love this website I love it when people tell us what's wrong with them

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[thatonekimgirl]

Heated Rivalry - 1.06 The Cottage

[ilyas-left-nut]

SLUT

[damnnmilkovich]

[typhlonectes]

[domloco]

[riseofthecommonwoodpile]

i don’t think i’m exaggerating when i say that the average height for women in the US would increase by at least an inch if teen girls were allowed to eat as much as teen boys are

[imsobadatnicknames2]

9 out of 10 times I see people on here celebrating a new "landmark piece of anti-AI legislation" the legislation in question is inevitably some variation of "we propose making IP laws more restrictive but presented through the language of opposing AI". But that one from germany about holding google liable for the words of its AI overview feature is legitimately good I think. If they actively choose to shove that thing in everyone's face as the first thing they're going to see when they make a google search then they shouldn't be able to dodge accountability for the information it provides with a little "gemini AI can be inaccurate, please remember to double-check information teeheehee" disclaimer.

[junestrings]

a lot of people dont care about insect biomass collapse bc when they hear we are losing 2.5% of the insect biomass per year they just imagine the cockroach and housefly population decreasing by that much. they dont realize those are among the only ones that will remain unbothered

[deaths-accountant]

Citations could be so awesome without copyright. Imagine just being able to click on a footnote and it takes you to the exact section of another book being quoted. Imagine how much that would do for stemming misinformation.

[libraford]

Knowing how stuff works at the municipal level is a fucking curse because you can do your best to relay information to the community and they still assume the worst of you.

To the average person, it looks like we're just tearing up all the parks for development. But there were meetings and posts and announcements, and there was community input and awareness programs and we did our absolute best to keep everyone in the loop but some people still fell through the cracks.

So they think we're destroying all the parks.

"Why did parks and rec get rid of the fence at this park??? All parks should have fences!"

The fence was damaged and we thought it might be more convenient to open up the area so that people using the shelter didnt have to walk all the way around to get into the playground. The fence was damaged because people would climb it as a shortcut. (I personally disagree that all parks should have fences.)

"Why did they tear down the playground at Miller Park? It was perfectly fine- they wouldn't have to tear it all down if they bothered to maintenance it like they're supposed to."

Playgrounds are suggested to be replaced every ten years to keep up with accessibility updates. Likewise, it was decided that while we're updating the playground it would be a good opportunity to address the safety concerns brought to our attention in the past decade.

"THEYVE COMPLETELY TORN APART WILLOW RIDGE PARK! How dare they take away our precious few greenspaces and line their pockets with kickbacks from high density housing???"

-deep breath-

If you had bothered to go to any of the four public meetings, read the announcements, or looked at the giant sign in front of the park, you would notice that we are remodeling the park to include a wetland restoration area to address the flooding issues, which was voted on by the neighborhood it is adjacent to.

Yall are gonna feel real silly when these projects turn out to be massive improvements.

[superdaisypowerhour]

"if i had a time machine i would go back in time and kill hitler"

I would put sea mines around medieval britain. i would give hannibal barca ww2 era heavy artillery and tell him not to stop till he starts seeing gauls. i would give boudica a fucking abrams. i would appear before jesus like an angel and tell him "you gotta stop. not cause theyll kill you, youre fine with that, surprisingly, but because your fanclub is gonna spend about 1500 years making everything worse for everyone, everywhere." I would take a glock back in time and shoot romulus, shoot remus, and shoot that damn dog too just to be safe. i would be on the side of christopher columbus' ship in a scuba suit planting c4 on that bitch like rainbow six siege. i would be waging a one woman campaign of terror across andalusia to prevent the reconquista. i would be getting way out in front of that shit is what im saying,

[lyricwritesprose]

My kids once expressed a plan to me that involved a time machine, Andrew Jackson, and a hickory walking stick containing a bomb. What it lacked in practicality, it made up for in understanding the history lesson I had just given them (having at that point thrown the school's weak-ass mid-lockdown lesson plan across the room and engaged in a furious rant about the real stuff). The more you look at history, the more you start thinking you're gonna need a bigger time machine.

[fightingbymoonlight]

Seeing people I know and like using AI is making me understand the protagonists of those old time sci fi dystopia's.

"Oh I don't normally use AI, I just wanted it to plan my trip"

You lived on this planet for decades, you know what you like, there are hundreds of websites where you can type into any search engine " things to do in [area]" and have at least a hundred different options.

"Oh I only use it so I can figure out what to make during the week with what I have"

The most popular website as you type in "recipes" into google have sections where you click dinner- quick and easy and those usually rely on staples + 1 or 2 items. I found 30 recipes on chicken alone.

"I had a writing idea, so I typed a few sentences into Chat GPT and I was able to write 20 pages with it."

Youdidn'twriteit.Youdidn'twriteit.youdidn'twriteit.youdidn'twriteit.YOUDIDN'TWRITEIT.YOUDIDN'TWRITEIT.YOUDIDN'TWRITEIT.