I do think it’s funny that when I look at my cat something happens in my brain that approximates to
Analyzing: Cute —>
Cute = [Human Infant] —>
Evolutionary Pressure = Prepare [Human Infant] to Survive —>
Evolution as a Social Species = Communication Essential to Survival
Conclusion: Teach [Human Infant] to Communicate via Speech —>
Production: Enunciated Vocal Sounds and Exaggerated Vowels to Encourage Speech in [Human Infant] —>
“Hell-OHHHHHHH! How are YOUUUU. I loooove you.”
The thing is, most likely, the babies were the ones who became baby.
Imagine: a rough, tough female African wildcat. She's pregnant, very pregnant, and she needs a place to have her kittens that's out of the sun, out of the wind, out of the sand. But wait, what's this huge thing? Smells of wood and grain—but also rats. Yummy, yummy rats, she thinks, and slips inside.
And it's perfect. There are little nooks and crannies (for having kittens in, for moving kittens when she's nervous) and the food is busy making itself too fat to move on all this useless grain stuff. So she settles in.
The next morning, she is surprised while scarfing a rat, by a Big Scary Tall Thing. "GetawayfrommeorI'lltakeyourfaceoff!" she yells, pronounced, "Ffffft!" and dashes off. And thinks no more of it, because honestly she's got enough on her plate.
Not that she has any idea what plates are until a curved thingy filled with water shows up. Smells of tall things but isn't, so, fine, she needs that anyway, it's all good. (The Tall Thing, which is essentially a Lean Mean Overthinking It Machine, thinks they may be onto something. They give water, she eats rats, they get uneaten grain and she gets a great spot to be a cat? Worth a shot…)
But it's once the kittens are wobbling around, eyes newly opened, just old enough to realize that they have siblings and the siblings can be pounced at, that things really change. Because the kittens already have big huge eyes and are baby, which means that the Big (not) Scary Tall Thing is in a state of absolute cuteness rapture by the time one of them wobbles up and is like—can fingers also be pounced at? Soooooo cuuuuuute—
"What's your name?" says the Egyptian.
"Mow!" says the cat.
"Mau it is," the Egyptian says. "How would you like some worship?" And a whole new alliance was born.
