wallacepolsom
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noise dept.

@theartofmadeline
EXPECTATIONS
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

if i look back, i am lost
The Stonewall Inn
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NASA
Stranger Things
One Nice Bug Per Day
occasionally subtle
KIROKAZE
d e v o n
Sade Olutola
Jules of Nature
RMH
The Bowery Presents

izzy's playlists!
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@deaths-accountant
the number 1 rule of fanfic is have fun and be yourself. the number 2 rule is the average healthy adult male can lose roughly 2 liters of blood before dying.
incredible prev tags
FRIENDLY REMINDER THAT you are allowed to feel proud of yourself for things that might seem silly to other people, like getting better at a video game or putting together a nice outfit for the next morning or finishing a book. You deserve to feel proud for your accomplishment.
I threw a dog at a land mine
That’s this
Goes to show how little I know
The really crazy part is the Twitter post is the original and the tumblr post is the one that's plagiarized
Net zero info ass post
We literally can see in both the screenshots that the tumblr post was posted first (also evilvillain123456789 lies recreationally, constantly) why are y'all so bad at fact-checking literally anything
Lets dissect uncle to find his wish gland
this is why commas are so
important 🤓
Where do you think the comma goes
scroll back up this is a mugging
you are weak of mind and horny of spirit
and metal of body
HOLY SHIT PJACK??????
HE WAS BACK FOR THREE HOURS, RESPONDED TO MY POST, AND THEN DIED AGAIN????
I feel as though I've been graced with the presence of a deity and I have been called to take up the mantle.
Musterd gravy
The foreign policy issue that has split John McCain and Lindsey Graham.
“We should nuke them” “No, no, I’m telling you: carpet bombs would save money”
Both of the Senators who inspired the Holden Bloodfeast character have now passed away
Not gonna lie this makes me a bit irritated. Here's the real version of this photo:
Instead of a cutesie reference to film censorship it was an explicit statement of defiance of Maryland's criminalization gay sex, which was not repealed until 2002. This wasn't a guy saying "Oh they can't put what I do in the movies according to a completely voluntary industry code" he was saying "The State of Maryland wants to put me in jail for being gay and having gay sex."
It wasn't a guy being cheeky about sex in an ambiguous, cute way. It was a man stating, in no uncertain terms, that a whole state of the United States considered him a criminal for being homosexual.
Nova's tips for beating the heatwave:
1. Check that you have good access to shade trees, a shelter custom made to fit you and all your friends, and plenty of good airflow
2. Find the hottest, sunniest, and least windy part of you pasture and lay down
3. Make sure you look as much as possible like you have died of heatstroke
4. Get your friends in on it
A horse's biggest purpose in life is to make you think they died
okay, for those interested, here is a full timeline of how we got to Count Binface:
1977: Star Wars is released, featuring, of course, Darth Vader
(Pictured: Darth Vader)
1984: Director Todd Durham releases his Star Wars parody movie, Hyperspace, featuring Darth Vader inspired villain Lord Buckethead.
(Pictured: Hyperspace poster featuring two Jawa-esque aliens flying through space in a shopping trolley.)
1987: Hyperspace is released on video in the UK, under the new title Gremloids.
(Pictured: Gremloids cover in the style of the original Star Wars poster, featuring Lord Buckethead.)
To promote the film, Mike Lee, the owner of the distributing company, ran for parliament as Lord Buckethead. He ran in Margaret Thatcher's constituency, Finchley, in order to get on TV. Lord Buckethead was representing the Gremloids party.
(Pictured: Lord Buckethead on TV with Margaret Thatcher.)
1992: Gremloids is re-released. Lord Buckethead rides again, this time against prime minister John Major in Huntingdon. (Here's a fun fact about Huntingdon: I was born there! :D) 87/92 Buckethead seems to have leaned pretty hard into the space supervillain thing, with campaign promises including 'demolish Birmingham to build a spaceport'.
(Pictured: Lord Buckethead on TV with John Major. Other notable candidates include Screaming Lord Sutch of the Monster Raving Loony Party.)
2017: comedian Jon Harvey, having recently watched Gremloids and learned of Lord Buckethead's candidacy for parliament, decides it's a great bit. He runs against Theresa May in Maidenhead. 2017 Buckethead seems to have a wackier and also more political approach, with campaign promises ranging from nonsense like 'nationalise Adele' to gesturing at actually sensible policies with stuff like 'lower the voting age to 16 and restrict voting after age 80'.
He also made an appearance on Last Week Tonight with John Oliver. As with his previous incarnation, he was a member of the Gremloids party.
(Pictured: Lord Buckethead dabbing on stage with Theresa May.)
2018: Director Todd Durham asserts his legal ownership of Lord Buckethead. Jon Harvey opted not to go to court over Buckethead and handed over the reins. Todd Durham extended an invitation to anyone who wanted to be the 'authorised' Lord Buckethead.
(Pictured: the new Lord Buckethead.)
2019: Lord Buckethead, now played by journalist David Hughes, stood against Boris Johnson in Uxbridge and South Ruislip. He ran for the Monster Raving Loony Party, the UK's pre-existing gag candidate party. He ran with a similarly silly manifesto as the 2017 incarnation, but with a bit less of a political edge. His promises included 'All doorways to be increased by 1 foot (30 cm) in height' and 'Nigel Farage to be sold for parts'.
(Pictured: Lord Buckethead and Count Binface square up.)
Meanwhile, Jon Harvey in his new persona Count Binface, also ran against Boris Johnson. Buckethead and Binface face off! Binface ran as an independent with a manifesto once again blending silly and semi-serious promises such as 'nationalising model railways' and 'giving £1 trillion a week to the NHS'. This was also I believe the debut of his promise to 'move the hand dryer in the men's toilet at Uxbridge's Crown and Treaty pub to a more sensible position'.
(Pictured: Count Binface presenting the offending hand dryer, inconveniently close to both the sink and the urinals.)
He has a point.
2021: Count Binface runs for the position of Mayor of London for the first time, with promises such as 'London to join the European Union'. He notably finished ahead of far right party UKIP.
2023: Count Binface runs in the Uxbridge and South Ruislip by-election following Boris Johnson's resignation. He once again gets more votes than UKIP.
May 2024: Count Binface once again runs to be Mayor of London, debuting his now iconic 'build at least one affordable house' promise. Notably, he finished ahead of far right party Britain First.
(Pictured: Count Binface with Rishi Sunak. Also pictured: Monster Raving Loony Party candidate Sir Archibald Stanton with a ventriloquist's dummy.)
July 2024: Count Binface stands in the general election, running in Richmond and Northallerton against prime minister Rishi Sunak. He debuts his promise to cap the price of 99p flakes at 99p. This is his most successful election to date with 308 votes.
(Pictured: Count Binface with Andy Burnham. Also pictured: independent candidate Robert Pownell, dressed as a fox for his own reasons.)
June 2026: Count Binface stands in the Makerfield by-election against Andy Burnham, (recently) former Mayor of Manchester running for parliament with the intention of standing in the Labour Party leadership contest.
(Pictured: Count Binface on BBC's Newsnight.)
July 2026 (this week): Count Binface announces his intention to run against Nigel Farage in the upcoming Clacton by-election. He is briefly the only other candidate in the race and by the time other candidates announce themselves the narrative of 'Nigel Farage vs Count Binface' has already bedded in. And then it was now, and then I don't know what happened.
Fuuuck I just loss 20000 dollars in adverisement revenue and potential sales when that guy over there didn’t look at my flyer because he was talking to the girl he was walking with. The sensible option here is to ban talking while walking since it’s literally theft.
grindr screenshots
what's worrisome is that everyone has more or less the same primordial version of history these days when you look into mainstream discourses, just like putin. ukrainians say they're actually the real inheritors of kievan rus, the russians are asiatic barbarians. israelis say they have a 2,000-year-old biblical claim to the land. azeris and armenians go back and forth over who has lived in the caucasus since time immemorial. china says taiwan was always chinese and pulls out 17th century fishing maps for the south china sea. and so on, and so forth, none of this broaches the fact that the real problem here is that people are getting bombed, tortured, and raped in the name of these pathetic fantasies, not the veracity of the claims
This is not a particularly original thought (I've probably made this exact post before myself) but one of the bleaker vast cultural gulfs out there is and likely shall remain the one between 'material children can understand and engage with' and 'material guardians and gatekeepers are comfortable thinking about their children engaging with'.
The beautiful but brief period where video stores just threw every animated movie in the same section and vast numbers of parents just assumed all cartoons were for kids was a little golden age in this regard. We need to come up with a new way to trick middle class helicopter parents into letting their 7-year-olds watch Watership Down again.