TRUE NORTH @myrtlescompass-blog - Tumblr Blog

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Creative recovery is like marathon training. We want to log ten slow miles for every one fast mile. This can go against the ego's grain. We want to be great - immediately great - but that is not how recovery works. It is an awkward, tentative, even embarrassing process. There will be many times when we won't look good - to ourselves or anyone else. We need to stop demanding that we do. IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO GET BETTER & LOOK GOOD AT THE SAME TIME.

Julia Cameron

Get this right from the start: Fullness is lukewarmness. Hunger is passion. Fullness is dullness. Hunger is vigor. Fullness is sleepy. Hunger is wide awake.

Dean Briggs

#consumed #hunger #desperation #quote #inspiration

Received comments from an online community of Christian writers to help improve my book cover.

Here’s the before and after...

Which one do you like better?

#christian fiction #book cover

One of my old journals. Even I’m shocked by the secrets it contains.

#hope #miracles

Full moon over the city. We got lost that night, because we got on the wrong bus. It was totally my fault, but it was great to come home to finally get to our apartment complex and see this view.

#the little things #thankful #moonlight

Forest House = <3

#wheninbaguio #christmas #what i miss from home

holytemple

My soul longs for Your presence. The fire in my heart burns for You, Lord.

Me Venting

This happened a few days ago, and the fact that I can still remember most of the details of the conversation says a lot about how easily I record memories like this. If I had my own set of Inside Out characters in my head, I think Sadness is in charge.

The day started out fine. We had a light rapport about us. The conversation was relaxed. We were going to eat lunch together, before I had to go grocery shopping for a team dinner I was going to host in my new apartment. We got on the subway and then, he started.

"How do you feel about working within a certain time frame?" he asked.

I was confused. "What do you mean?"

"Like if I told you that I want something done in a week, do you work well with that?"

I laughed. "Not really," I admitted. "I'm the type of person who thinks all deadlines are suggestions."

"I'm not going to you then." He scoffed.

I wasn't sure what he meant, so I just shrugged it off and began joking around with his son.

He then pushed. "So that's why you're a writer, and you have a job where you work alone and don't have to answer to anyone. Where did that come from? Your inability to work with people?"

"I can work with deadlines. I just don't like it. I don't like the pressure."

"But pressure is healthy. Why can't you work within a time frame?"

I shrugged. "That's just the way I'm wired, I guess."

"No, that's not it. There's more. Where did that come from? Because people have expectations, and you need to meet those expectations."

I was beginning to feel attacked, and I couldn't understand where that came from. "Well, I guess it's the fact that my parents had very high expectations of me, and I kept failing to meet the mark, so I just learned to ignore expectations."

"Well, I had expectations on me before and I rebelled against these expectations, but you need to get healed, and then learn to meet healthy expectations."

By that time, the subway reached our stop, so I was relieved that we had the distraction of getting to the restaurant where we were having lunch. I focused more on chatting with his wife and child, while he silently brewed.

But when we reached the restaurant, he was at it again. I then realized what was bugging him. He had approached me about a film he wanted to make. He wanted me to write for the film. I told him I'd be willing to talk to him about it and brainstorm, but he never contacted me after, and it completely slipped my mind. I realized then that he was expecting me to get in touch with him to talk about his film, so I can write for him (without pay, I might add). And now, he was piqued at me, because even after he hinted that he had journalist friends that could write for the film, and also sneered at my lack of journalism experience, considering that I'm just a fiction writer, I just shrugged it off, and said, "Okay." (It's not like I was dying to be a part of his film.) Then he hit me where it really hurt. Wanting to change the topic, his wife (a lot more sensitive than him) began to ask me about my book, and how it was going. I told them that I was still waiting for a response from my dream agent.

"How long have you been waiting?" he asked. "What do you think are the chances that this lady will take your book on? Are your chances high?"

"I'm hoping," I said. "The fact that they're asking me to wait means that I have a chance. The agent just had a personal tragedy, and she's just getting back to work, so she has a lot of work piled up. I can wait. From what I know about agents, if they're not interested in you, their assistant will send you a rejection letter or not respond to you at all. If the assistant asks you to wait and explains why, it means she thinks you have a chance."

He grew silent.

I talked to his wife and son again.

Then he began rambling about how he's been thinking about his film, because when he asked me to write for it, my first question was, "What's the film for? Who do you want to see this film?" He began talking about how he didn't want to know what the film was for or who the target audience was, because it would limit his creativity. He then began telling me that if I wanted my book to get published, I needed to do a lot of work, like have book covers designed and build a website.

I told him that if a publisher took me on, they'd probably do the book cover design themselves, but in case I had to self-publish, I already had everything prepared (book covers, ebook/Kindle versions, website, etc.)

He became quiet again and his wife and I talked about the book. Until he interrupted and talked about how he knew about marketing and just rambled on to the point where his wife interrupted him and asked him what on earth he was talking about.

He said, "It's a secret."

His wife rolled her eyes.

He then addressed me, "You know as well as I do that just because you write something, it doesn't mean it has to get out. Some books stay on the shelf for 5-10 years without ever being released. Some books get out immediately, but just because you write something, doesn't mean people have to read it."

By that time, I was beyond irritated. "What's your point? Why are you telling me all this?"

"I was answering you," he said.

"What were you answering? What did I ask?"

"Never mind," he grimaced. "I feel stupid now."

At that point, I was too fed up to care. I paid my bill and bade them goodbye, thankful for how cordial and sweet his wife still was.

Now, I'm just stewing, because of how easy people like this can get to me - not necessarily in the moment, but more afterwards, when everything sinks in. And it just hurts, because he was so willing to pull me down in a place that mattered deeply to me, just so he can feel better about himself.

He's not the first to knock me down on my writing, and he's definitely not going to be the last, but I wish I could just get used to it. I wish it didn't sting this way.

Do say a prayer for me. This person is someone I work with, and wouldn't be able to avoid seeing completely. Pray for grace. Pray for faith. And pray for trust in God - that whether or not my book succeeds, He is still Adonai. He still works all things together for the good of those who love Him.

#writer #people #i'm so annoyed #when people knock you down #prayer request #bothered #discouraged

Hot cocoa, anyone? Tsokolate de batirol = <3

#frozen #thecoldbothersmeeveryday #winterishere #cravings #home #chocolate

I never thought I’d love you this much. The faces of your people will forever be etched in my mind. Their smiles, the dreams veiled by their narrow eyes, the laughter, the rapid talk, the longing for connection, hidden behind the intricate nuances of culture and heritage. I am fascinated, and at times, heart-broken by you.…

#urban mission

scofielld

hewillreign

myrtlescompass-blog

In China, 11/11 is Single’s Day. Just saying.

You must face who you are to become who you were meant to be.

#identity #lion #lionofjudah

Loneliness

Elisabeth Elliot calls loneliness as “material for sacrifice”. For a while, I just thought it meant singlehood. And to embrace it meant that I had to give up the desire to be married.

I’ll be 30 soon, and let me tell you that I know what loneliness feels like. It’s speaking to the internet through a blog - not different from this very post - because there’s no one to speak to where I am. It’s being with someone, fully aware how disconnected your spirits are. It’s being misunderstood. It’s being rejected. It’s being hungry for something more, because we were made for something more.

It is that magnificent space in the depths of our soul meant only to be filled by glory divine.

Oh, I know what loneliness feels like.

It’s being here. Far from home. Far from the familiar. Where people don’t speak my language. Where comfort zones are hard to find. A place designed to make me uncomfortable so that I can find my comfort in the Holy Spirit. Oh, my sweet Comforter, the pain we endure together... Loneliness is a symptom of our human condition, of our need for something beyond. It is a season - longer for some than others - a season we need to embrace if we are to thrive in it. Loneliness is material for sacrifice, because it is what we offer up to Him in order to experience His glory in places of stark emptiness. It is what we lay down at His feet in hopes that He would send down His fire on the loneliness, consume it with His presence, and reveal to us His glory.

#lonely #loneliness #christian #elisabeth elliot #jesus #holy spirit #glory #emptiness #sacrifice

...it would seem that our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.

C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory

#christianquotes #cs lewis #quotes #desire