Open Chest (Part 2)
Namjoon and you were in medical school together, but you haven't seen him since you moved away for work. Until he turns up at your hospital for a fellowship.
Pairing: Namjoon x F!reader
Rating: 18+
Genre: Non-idol AU, smut, fluff, angst
Word count: 15k over 3 parts
Warnings: Sexually explicit content, explicit language, mentions of blood and medical procedures.
Part 1
Part 2
‘You’re not working the day of the Christmas party are you?’ asked Mel, her fingers rapidly tapping at the keyboard as she typed up her notes.
‘Nope,’ I replied frowning at my screen as my request for an EEG was bounced back.
Mel chuckled. ‘Tae is down. He is surprisingly keen to go, actually.’
‘That’s because he knows you’ll get drunk and he’ll get lucky,’ I replied drily.
Mel snorted. ‘I don’t need to be drunk for him to get lucky.’
‘Also, Tae looks like a proper party animal,’ I noted. ‘I mean, he barely even looks serious at work.’
‘Just as well his patients are mostly unconscious,’ Mel agrees. ‘Did you know he knows Namjoon?’
I looked over at her, clicking send on my EEG request. ‘Does he?’ I asked.
‘Yes. Family friends, he said. Apparently, they grew up together.’
‘Interesting,’ I said, intrigued.
Namjoon and I had been seeing each other on and off over the last few months, trying to coordinate time between our full-time schedules. He was trying to get the bulk of a project done before Christmas, which was a few weeks away, and I had been organising a training day which was taking up a lot of my time and exposing my lack of organisational skills.
I was planning to see him tonight, though, and couldn’t wait. We hadn’t seen each other properly in two weeks.
************************************************************************
I pulled up outside Namjoon’s flat, parking in the guest slot. His car was already there. I walked up to the door and Namjoon greeted me, barefoot with hair damp from his shower, fresh white t-shirt sticking slightly to his torso and his grey sweatpants on. How did he always manage to look so delicious? I fumbled with my bag, feeling strangely shy. His gaze on me made my cheeks feel warm. I smelled his apple shampoo as he leaned forward to kiss me. ‘I’ve missed you,’ he said softly, tugging me into his doorway.
‘You smell good,’ I blurted.
He looked me up and down. ‘Did you just get off work?’ he asked.
‘Yes. I was worried I’d be late, so I just got changed and came straight over. Time is precious you know,’ I said lightly.
‘Gotta get that D?’ he smirked.
I rolled my eyes. ‘I thought you were a grown-ass man, but you really are a fuckboy.’
Namjoon looked at me, and I could practically see the wheels turning in his head. ‘I think we need to wash up,’ he said, a wicked gleam in his eye.
‘You’ve just had a shower,’ I pointed out, crossing my arms self-consciously.
‘True,’ he conceded. ‘But there’s plenty of hot water, and I think I like the idea of getting you wet.’
Namjoon led me to the bathroom, helping me pull my top over my head. He shamelessly ogled my breasts in my pink lace bra, smirking as I flushed.
‘You’re so pretty,’ he said, eyes dark as he reached out to cup a breast, thumb brushing over my nipple. I bit my lip, sliding my hands under his t-shirt. His warm skin felt slightly damp under my hands.
He tilted his head down. I sighed as his mouth slanted over mine, a familiar slow burn pooling low down in my groin. ‘Joon,’ I murmured, pulling him closer.
He breathed out against my lips. ‘Christ, you get me hard as a rock when you say my name like that.’ As if to demonstrate, his hips rolled against my stomach, pressing his erection against me.
I cooed delightedly, reaching out to touch, but he pinned my hands by my sides.
‘No,’ he said sternly. ‘I promised I’d get you wet and that’s what I’m going to do.’ He pulled me into his walk-in shower.
‘Fuck, Namjoon,’ I gasped, gripping onto his shoulders for dear life as he knelt in front of me, head nudging between my thighs.
‘Mmm?’ he hummed against my clit, looking up at me. His hair was slicked back from the shower, his big hands steadying my hips as I trembled beneath him. He lifted one of my legs onto his shoulder, angling his neck to lick up into my entrance. I shuddered as he pushed a finger inside me, stroking whilst he lapped at my clit.
‘That feels amazing,’ I murmured, fingers carded in his hair.
‘You taste amazing,’ he countered. ‘I could eat you out all night.’
One orgasm later I found myself riding him against the headboard of his bed. ‘Fuck,’ he hissed. ‘I don’t think I’m going to last.’ His hands squeezed my ass, helping me up bounce up and down on his dick. I cried out as he leant forward to suck at my nipple, nipping it gently.
‘Joon,’ I stuttered out, and I could feel rather than see him smile against my tit. His dark eyes looked up at me intently, watching me arch back in pleasure as he thrust up into me.
‘I want to ruin you,’ he said, eyes deadly serious, his husky voice making me involuntarily clench around his cock. Without any warning he pulled out, lifting me off him and leaving me kneeling on his bed.
‘You have such a great ass,’ he said. I looked over my shoulder at him as he lined himself up with my cunt. ‘I wish you could see this, you take my cock like you were made for it,’ he groaned out.
I closed my eyes, the change in angle made him feel even deeper. ‘Joon, I can’t cum again,’ I warned, pleasure building in me as he thrust, long and slow.
He laughed then, hands reaching round to cup my breasts, pulling me up against his chest. ‘Is that a challenge, Y/N?’
‘No,’ I cried, ‘I mean you’re too fucking much.’
‘You can take me, baby, I know you can,’ he crooned, plucking at my nipples, grinding his pelvis against my ass. One hand reached down, long fingers stroking over my clit as he flexed within me. His lips grazed my ear, warm breath against my neck. He kissed my neck and suddenly he bit down, hard.
I groaned as I came around his cock. ‘Shit, I can feel you clenching,’ Namjoon cried out, lost, and then he was cumming inside me. We collapsed down on his bed in a tangle of limbs.
When my breathing finally slowed enough for me to speak, I turned to him. ‘You’re a monster, Namjoon.’
He just laughed, patting my ass. ‘I think we need another shower.’
************************************************************************
I did a slow turn in front of the mirror, uncertainly. The black velvet dress I had on was high-necked and long-sleeved but form-fitting and with a skirt that barely reached mid-thigh. I was unaccustomed to showing this much skin, but I had wanted to wear something that would make Namjoon do a double take when he saw me.
‘You look amazing,’ said Mel, patting me on the shoulders.
‘Yeah, if pale chunky thighs are in now,’ I muttered.
‘Don’t be stupid, your legs are ridiculous and if anyone here is pale it’s me,’ Mel said. I paused to give her a hug.
Mel slung her bag over her shoulder. ‘Ready?’
The Christmas party was in full swing, in a converted barn on the edge of town. The rustic decorations and soft jazz playing complemented the huge 20-foot Christmas tree set out in the middle of the barn.
‘Wow, someone really blew the budget this year,’ I commented, clinking glasses with Mel.
Mel laughed, ‘Don’t worry, I think the actual DJ arrives after the meal, and I’m pretty sure he'll bring the cheese. We’ll be dancing on tables in no time.’
I sighed. ‘What’s Christmas without 90s pop that wasn’t even popular the first time round?’ I joked.
‘Call them cult classics,’ said Mel.
I looked around for Namjoon. We hadn’t been allocated to the same table but he had seemed enthused about coming.
‘Fuck,’ Mel murmured, nudging me.
I followed her line of vision, my eyes coming to rest on Namjoon and Taehyung.
‘Fuck,’ I echoed, nearly dropping my glass.
The two men were a sight to behold. Namjoon looked impossibly gorgeous in his dark fitted suit, his shoulders broad, his thighs straining against the cut of his trousers. He had ditched his glasses for the night, and his (newly-blond) hair had been styled perfectly, a lock falling across his forehead. Silvery earrings glinted in his ears. He spotted me and his dimpled smile made my stomach flutter.
Beside him, Tae looked equally stunning. He had a fitted jacket of a brocade material with gold embroidery which might have been too much on some but suited his sometimes-flamboyant style. His hair was artfully tousled across his forehead and his eyes were dark as he scanned the room for Mel. I could see heads turning as the two men made their way across the room towards us.
I greeted Namjoon with a shy smile. ‘You look beautiful,’ I told him.
He leaned down, his lips so close they nearly brushed my ear. ‘You look good enough to eat,’ he replied. I turned to him, and the dark gleam in his eyes sent a pulse of arousal between my legs.
‘Should I be afraid?’ I asked, trying to sound casual.
Namjoon smiled, lazy and devastating. ‘I’ll take care of you, baby,’ he said, and the memory of the last time he had used those words and the context in which he had said them made my core clench.
Tae leaned over to kiss my cheek in greeting. ‘Y/N,’ he said, his deep baritone rumbling in my ear.
‘Hi Tae, are you well?’ I replied.
‘Better now,’ he said, smiling at Mel, who beamed back.
‘Gosh you guys are cheesy,’ Namjoon complained.
Tae just smiled. ‘Not all of us have the sexy geek thing going for us,’ he said.
‘Are you talking about me or Namjoon?’ I asked, pretending to be offended.
‘Actually, that works for both of them,’ Mel teased, ‘Have you seen Y/N doing a shunt calculation?’ She pretended to fan herself. ‘Soo hot.’
I laughed, swatting her on the arm. ‘You’re ridiculous.’
Namjoon looked at me in amusement. ‘You always were hot on the outside and geeky on the inside. It’s the perfect combo.’
‘I’m just hot on the outside and hot on the inside,’ said Tae, pulling Mel into a hug. ‘Come on, let’s get a drink.’
As they walk away, Namjoon turned to me. ‘You’re hot on the inside too,’ he said, looking at me meaningfully. ‘Or warm, very warm.’
My eyes fly to his lips as he pokes the tip of his tongue out of the corner of his mouth.
‘Are you coming on to me right now, Namjoon?’ I teased.
‘Fuck yeah,’ he breathed. ‘All I can think about is how good your legs would look wrapped around me. And how that skirt is so short, that if you bent over, I wouldn’t even have to move it out the way to get into you.’
I clenched again, pressing my thighs together, a move that doesn’t escape Namjoon’s attention.
‘Joon,’ I breathed, pressing my hand flat against his broad chest.
He hissed at the sound of my voice. ‘Don’t do that.’
‘What?’ I asked, in mock innocence. ‘Say Joon, I want to feel your big cock in me right now? Tell you about how you’ve just made me so wet for you, you could just slide right in?’
There was a long pause as Namjoon looked at me thoughtfully, and for a moment I wondered if I’d gone too far.
When he spoke, his voice was strained. ‘I don’t know how I’m supposed to get through this party without fucking you.’
‘You will, you’re a big boy,’ I replied, trying to sound nonchalant.
He smiled wolfishly at me then. ‘I’m going to ruin you,’ he promised. ‘But for now we need to talk about something else because this giant boner is starting to get uncomfortable’.
And just like that, we were both laughing. ‘Joonie, let me get you a drink,’ I offered. Instead, he reached for my glass and tossed back the contents in one long swallow. I watched his throat working, trying to curb my lustful thoughts.
‘Stop doing that,’ he murmured, placing the glass on a nearby table.
‘Doing what, Joon?’ I asked, as innocently as I could.
‘Naughty girls get punished,’ is all he said.
************************************************************************
Namjoon
Namjoon scanned the room for Y/N. He caught sight of her standing slightly awkwardly against a wall talking to Dr Chan. Something about her usually graceful posture looked uncomfortable and he realised she was hunching over, arms crossed over the front of her dress, using her purse to cover her thighs as they talked. He saw Dr Chan’s expression and the way his eyes were roaming her body and it made his jaw clench in annoyance. Not only was Dr Chan a total prick, he was apparently also a sex pest.
Before he realised he was moving he was standing beside Y/N.
‘Hey,’ he said. She looked up at him and the relief in her eyes made him want to punch the older man in the face.
‘Namjoon,’ she said.
‘Y/N. I’ve saved some dessert for you,’ he said, smiling reassuringly at her. He took her arm and nodded to the older man.
‘She may have to put up with you at work, but we aren’t at work now,’ he said mildly, giving Dr Chan a hard look as he led Y/N to his table.
He could feel her trembling as he put his hand in the small of her back to lead her away.
‘Are you ok?’ he asked, concern furrowing his brow.
‘I’m ok, Joon,’ she replied, leaning her head on his shoulder for an instant.
He tipped her chin up so her eyes met his. ‘What a prick,’ he said, trying to make her smile.
Her lips curved slightly. ‘I know, right?’ she agreed. ‘I just hope he doesn’t hold it against me at work.’
Namjoon shrugged. ‘I’ve seen you work, baby. It’s pretty clear to me that you’re excellent. He hasn’t got a leg to stand on.’
Her eyes met his searchingly. ‘Thanks,’ she said, lips curving into a real smile this time. ‘Now did you say you had dessert.’
Namjoon pushed his plate towards her. ‘I’ll have dessert back at mine,’ he said, meaningfully, endeared when she flushed and dropped her gaze.
************************************************************************
‘Joon!’ I cried out as his big hand landed on my ass with a hard ‘thwack’.
He paused, presumably admiring the latest red handprint he had just caused to bloom on my ass cheek.
‘Yes, baby?’ he asked. ‘I told you naughty girls get punished.’
I wasn’t sure what had got into him, but this was a side of Namjoon I was strangely thrilled by. He had demanded I strip in front of him, leaving my black lace panties and bra on, then promptly pulled me over his lap to spank me. And rather than being appalled by his behaviour, it seemed to multiply my arousal ten-fold.
‘Please,’ I said, ‘please fuck me now.’
He grunted, his dark eyes on mine. ‘I don’t think I’ve punished you enough yet.’
‘Please, Joon,’ I begged breathlessly. ‘I need you.’
He smiled, and I gasped as his fingers came to rest between my legs.
‘Are you wet for me?’ he asked, pulling the crotch of my underwear to one side, his fingers exploring me.
‘You can feel that I am,’ I bit out, helplessly turned on by his long fingers and how devilish he looked, fully dressed with his earrings flashing in the low lamplight of his bedroom. He hadn’t even bothered rolling up his sleeves, and the cold metal of his rings felt like a balm against my sore ass.
‘Can I taste you?’ I asked desperately. He almost seemed to be considering it, the palm of one hand resting against what looked like a deliciously hard erection. I nearly cried with relief as he stood up, removing his jacket and revealing his dress shirt.
‘Naughty girls don’t get my cock until I’m good and ready,’ he said finally. ‘Now take your panties off.’
I complied immediately, kneeling on the bed in front of him. He put the warm palm of one hand between my breasts, pushing me back so I lay flat on the bed. He settled leaned forward, pressing his warm mouth to my thigh, laying a trail of open-mouthed kisses straight to my cunt.
‘Love this,’ he murmured, licking between my folds. I felt like screaming as his tongue explored, slow and leisurely, his nose bumping against my clit.
‘Joon,’ I breathed. ‘Joon please.’
‘Don’t worry baby, I did say I’d take care of you.’ He lapped at my folds, worrying my clit between his teeth, and I nearly came off the bed. We had had sex so many times by then he knew exactly how to make me cum, pulling orgasms out of me effortlessly.
‘Joon,’ I cried as I came all over his face.
‘Mmmm,’ he moaned, ‘you taste so amazing.’
I tugged at his shoulders, trying to get him to come up. He kissed me, his tongue and chin covered in my cum, letting me taste myself on him.
‘Joonie,’ I whispered, tongue swirling in his mouth. ‘Can you fuck me now?’
Namjoon smiled, dimples appearing, and immediately he looked a different man from the one who had spanked me not minutes before.
‘Yes,’ he replied fervently. ‘Yes.’
************************************************************************
Namjoon stretched his arms over his head then took a sip of his coffee. It was early January, and over the holidays we had had a few shared days off, mostly spent at his flat, fucking, watching films, drinking.
I loved this version of Namjoon even more than the gorgeous coiffed persona he wore as the cardiothoracics fellow. Perhaps it was our shared history of medical school and the summer before we started working, but I felt I identified the most with this Namjoon, the boy sloping around in oversize t-shirts, waxing poetic about his favourite authors and nerding out over old medical textbooks.
‘What should we do today?’ he asked, wiping crumbs from his croissant off his mouth with the back of his hand.
‘We could drive down to the beach,’ I suggested. ‘It’s so cold there won’t be anyone there.’
Just then his phone rang. He smiled as he saw who it was. My mum, he mouthed at me, greeting her in Korean. I scrolled through my phone idly as they talked.
‘Does she call you often?’ I asked as he hung up.
‘Yes, every week or so. She can’t wait for me to come home,’ he laughed. ‘It’s not even as though we live anywhere close to each other, she just wants me back in the country. I think she’s trying to set me up with one of her friend’s daughters.’
I froze, a sequence of thoughts flashing through my head so quickly I felt my head spin. Luckily for once my mouth was quicker than my head. ‘Oh, of course she is,’ I said, smiling. ‘You’re a total catch.’ I excused myself to go to the bathroom quickly, where I stared, stricken, at my own face in the mirror.
Of course Namjoon was going back to Seoul when his year was up. How had I not thought of this already? Whatever we were doing was temporary, Namjoon had never said anything about his future plans and to be fair I had never asked. There was a knock on the door. ‘Hey, are you ok?’ Namjoon asked.
So much for my attempt at acting casual, I thought.
‘Yeah, stop stalking me, you perv, I literally just left you,’ I called through the door, turning the water on and splashing some on my flushed cheeks.
Namjoon
Namjoon leaned against the door. He could have bitten his tongue the instant he had said what he said. The expression on Y/N’s face had made his heart squeeze in his chest. She had looked so vulnerable, bare-faced, her hair up in a messy bun, sitting across from him in one of his old t-shirts, that he had instantly wanted to wrap her in his arms and hold her.
The door opened and she looked up at him, unsurprised to see him just outside.
‘Did you miss me that much?’ she teased. It almost fooled him, would have fooled him if he hadn’t seen what he had seen. Her smile was perfect, but the slightly uncertain look in her eyes gave her away.
‘Y/N,’ he said, and her gaze dropped.
‘So, beach?’ she asked, reaching for his hand.
Namjoon clasped her hand in his own, deciding not to pursue it. ‘Yeah. Got your bikini?’ he asked, smiling.
Instead of rightly reminding him it was January and freezing outside, she smirked, and for a moment the sparkle was in her eyes again.
‘I prefer skinny dipping,’ she purred, letting her hand brush across his cock as she walked past him to finish her coffee.
************************************************************************
It had been a few weeks since I had seen Namjoon, easily explained away by how busy it was at work due to the influx of patients with winter illnesses. I was on hold waiting to speak to cardiology when my phone buzzed in my scrubs pocket.
Namjoon: Coffee?
Y/N: Sorry – getting slammed.
Namjoon: Catch you this afternoon. I’m on call.
I didn’t reply. Truth be told, I hadn’t had time to process the realisation that Namjoon was leaving in a few short months. He had been such a big part of my life for the last few months I knew it was going to be hard to say goodbye. Possibly harder than it had been in medical school.
He knew me so well despite all our years apart, and meeting him again had just brought to the forefront the companionship I had been missing due to the nomadic nature of our jobs.
I was rustling through the chest drain trolley when I heard a voice behind me.
‘Your ass looks amazing in scrubs,’ Namjoon said, smiling at me cheekily.
I laughed. ‘Get your own original lines, fuckboy.’
He cocked his head toward the double doors to the unit. ‘There’s a flat white with your name on it in the staffroom. Join me?’
I couldn’t help but smile. ‘You’re an angel Namjoon. I can only spare 5 minutes though.’
I sipped my coffee, sighing in pleasure. ‘You're the best, Joonie.’
Namjoon sprawled on the sofa next to me, manspreading. We were the only two people in the staffroom.
‘I know I am,’ he drawled. ‘You tell me all the time in bed too.’
‘It’s a wonder you can fit through the door with a head that big,’ I snorted, nearly choking on my coffee.
He reached out and patted my back gently.
‘That brings back memories of you choking on something else,’ he said softly.
I giggled despite myself. ‘You're a filthy animal,’ I replied.
‘I’m your filthy animal,’ he said, ‘as long as you’ll have me.’
‘Oh my god, Namjoon, give it a rest with the innuendo,’ I moaned, ‘I’m trying to finish my coffee here!’
‘How can I,’ Namjoon protested, ‘you look so damn cute when you’re blushing and pretending you’re shy.’
‘Not all of us can be as cocky as you,’ I replied. God, I’d missed him.
‘Come to mine tonight?’ he asked.
I paused. He fell silent beside me and when I looked over he looked strangely vulnerable.
‘Sure,’ I said, and for a second the expression on his face looked like… relief? ‘Shall I bring pizza?’
Namjoon shook his head. ‘I’ll cook for us.’
I widened my eyes in mock horror and he threw a cushion straight at my face. Unfortunately, my coffee was in the way and the next thing I knew lukewarm coffee was spreading down my scrubs top.
Namjoon was on his feet immediately, pulling me out of the staffroom.
‘Are you ok?’ he asked worriedly. ‘Was it hot?’
I realised he had led us to the nearest staff bathroom.
‘Wait here, I’ll get you another top,’ he said, sprinting off. He was back in minutes, helping me lift my top over my head.
‘I think I can do this myself,’ I said, jokingly. Namjoon’s gaze fell to my lips, then my breasts in my plain black bra.
‘Y/N,’ he breathed out, and the urgency in his voice made my thighs press against each other. In seconds he was pressing me against the sink, unknotting the pull tie of his scrubs, letting them fall to the floor.
‘God, your thighs,’ I marvelled, and his smile was cocky as he pushed down his black briefs, palming his already hard cock. He lined himself up with my entrance and then he was in me, thrusting hard and deep.
‘Fuck, Namjoon,’ I gasped, clinging on to his shoulders. ‘Fuck.’
He said nothing, teeth sinking into his lip as he pushed his big cock deep. I moaned at the delicious stretch.
‘Quiet baby,’ he whispered, tongue swirling in my ear as his hips ground against mine. ‘We don’t want everyone to find out I’m fucking you in the bathroom, do we?’
At that point I was incapable of replying, my mind swirling with sensation as he kissed down my neck.
‘How are you so fucking wet, dirty girl?’ he whispered, his voice velvety and smooth as he licked a stripe up my neck. ‘Always so ready to cum for me.’ His hands were everywhere, it seemed, and it had been so long it felt like I was on the verge of cumming as soon as he pushed into me.
‘Joon,’ I sighed in his ear, ‘I’ve missed you so much.’
He jerked at that, pushing into me with a particularly hard thrust. I shoved a knuckle into my mouth to stifle my wail as I came all over him.
Namjoon circled his hips, thrusting hard, panting my name against my neck as he came.
‘Joon,’ I hissed at the oversensitivity as he pulled out of me.
‘I’m sorry love, was I too rough?’ he asked, face worried as I bit my lip at the soreness I felt.
I smiled up at him. ‘Best kind of rough,’ I said, reaching up and pressing my thumb into his cheek, where his dimple was.
Namjoon smiled back, pressing a kiss to my lips. ‘You’re fucking perfect, baby. Please can you come over and let me cook for you later?’
I pulled the new scrubs top over my head. ‘As long as we have dessert,’ I said, flicking my eyes up to his.
He chuckled. ‘You’re going to kill me,’ he said, mock groaning.
************************************************************************
I cuddled against Namjoon’s chest, looking out the window. He stroked my hair. ‘You awake still?’ he asked huskily.
‘Where would you live if you could live anywhere?’ I asked, looking up at him.
Namjoon hesitated a second, then sighed. ‘I’d live with the people I love. It doesn’t matter where.’
His reply, so simple and yet profound, struck a chord in me. I kissed his chest, running my hand down his torso. ‘That’s a non-fuckboy thing to say,’ I said sleepily.
Namjoon’s hand was warm against my cheek.
‘What about I love you?’ he asked, so softly I wasn’t sure if I’d heard it, and so I didn’t reply.
************************************************************************
I exchanged a glance with Mary, the nurse in charge of the night shift as we stood beside the cot. ‘I don’t like it,’ she said, ‘he doesn’t look right.’
‘I agree Mary,’ I said, ‘he’s not right. But I’ve got nothing to fix. His numbers are perfect, his lactate is low. I have no idea why he looks so ill.’
Mary frowned. ‘What’s just come out of his drains?’ she asked, gesturing, and as if on cue, blood began pouring from all three of the chest drains.
‘Fuck,’ I said, feeling my heart rate accelerate at the sight. ‘He’s bleeding out.’
Namjoon
Namjoon’s phone rang and he looked up from the audit he was trying to collect data for. He answered immediately. ‘Cardiothoracics.’
‘Namjoon.’ It was Y/N, her voice wavering over the line. ‘You need to get down to ICU. The baby from earlier, the Fallot’s, he’s bleeding out.’
Namjoon was on his feet immediately. ‘Should I call Francesco in?’ he asked.
She paused. ‘I would, he’s going to need an exploration.’
‘Who’s your consultant?’ Namjoon asked, heading for the door, ‘are they in yet?’
She paused again. ‘It’s Chan. We can’t reach him.’
Namjoon started walking down the corridor towards the ICU. ‘You know what Francesco will say, Y/N, the first thing he’s going to ask me is if Chan is in.’
‘I know that,’ Y/N replied, voice pleading. ‘But we can’t reach him, Joon, and this baby is going to die if we don’t crack his chest.’
‘OK, OK,’ Namjoon ran a hand over his face. ‘I’m calling him in, and I’m on my way. Hang tight.’
The first thing Namjoon saw when he ran onto the unit was Y/N, gloves on, pushing blood in via a syringe. The relief on her face when she saw him made his heart thud wildly in his chest.
‘Update me,’ he said, running the water at the nearest sink and starting to scrub.
‘He’s been pouring out blood for the last 30 minutes, Joon, all three drains. We’ve given a round of products, calcium and TXA. We’re waiting on cryo. His blood pressure is in his boots. He’s got a bleed somewhere, I would strongly recommend that we open his chest and explore,’ Y/N called out from beside the patient.
‘Sounds like we need to,’ Namjoon looked round to see Francesco, hair mussed, pulling on his scrubs hat.
‘The scrubs team are ready, we have drugs and blood, so we are good to go when you are scrubbed,’ said Y/N.
Namjoon nodded as he finished scrubbing up and held out his arms for a gown.
‘Turn up the suction please,’ Francesco said tensely once he had opened the chest. ‘I can’t see a damn thing.’ He placed a swab in the centre of the chest which came back soaked in blood.
‘It’s an atrial tear,’ Namjoon murmured, spotting the source of bleeding.
‘Good spot,’ grunted Francesco. ‘Let’s sort it.’
They were interrupted by loud swearing. ‘What the absolute FUCK is happening?’ They both looked up to see Dr Chan storming onto the unit, gesticulating wildly. He focused in on Y/N. ‘Why the fuck didn’t you call me?’
Y/N lifted her chin. ‘We did, Dr Chan, we called at least a dozen times, we tried your home number and your mobile and they all rang out.’
Dr Chan spluttered, ‘That’s ridiculous.’
‘She’s right,’ Mary said firmly. ‘We all tried to reach you before we started, but we had to go ahead.’
‘You’re a bunch of fucking idiots,’ Dr Chan said tersely, his gaze directed at Y/N.
Namjoon looked up to meet Francesco’s eyes. ‘Dr Chan,’ Francesco said serenely. ‘Can you please just shut the fuck up for one second so I can repair this atrial tear?’
To his credit, Dr Chan’s mouth clapped shut. ‘I’ll need a word with you after this,’ he sneered, looking at Y/N. She looked down, and the way her hand trembled as she turned the tap on the rescue line she was clutching made Namjoon’s heart squeeze.
Y/N
I collapsed down on my chair as soon as the patient was undraped, my heartrate accelerating at the idea of being the focal point of one of Dr Chan’s rants. I ran a hand over my face, sighing as I typed in my login to the computer to start my documentation. Sure enough, a shadow fell over me.
‘Y/N, a word,’ snapped Dr Chan.
‘Sure,’ I said, hoping my face mask hid my grimace.
A quiet voice made me turn as I got up. ‘Actually, if we are discussing the patient, I’d like to listen in and participate if I may,’ said Namjoon. Although he wasn’t touching me, his warm voice made me straighten my back and shoulders as I squared myself off to speak to Dr Chan.
‘I would too, actually.’ I looked round in surprise to see Francesco, scrubs hat askew. The kindness in his eyes almost made my own fill with grateful tears as he nodded at me. Dr Chan looked at us, and I could almost feel the sharp edge of his anger blunted against the show of solidarity we displayed.
‘I don’t want to be left out of this,’ said Mary, patting my shoulder.
I could have cried. Instead, I told Dr Chan exactly what had happened, with contributions from Mary and Namjoon, and for the first time, I didn’t feel like I had been through the wringer after a confrontation with him.
Namjoon paused by my desk before he left the unit. ‘I’ll drive you to mine tomorrow morning after you get off,’ he said. I looked at his beautiful face and felt a wave of warmth spread through me. ‘Sure,’ I said.
‘Hey Namjoon,’ I called as he turned to leave, and he turned back to face me. ‘Thanks for saving my ass.’
Namjoon shrugged. ‘You saved your own ass. And that baby too. It was the only call to make.’
‘Still though, thank you,’ I said, reaching out to give his hand a squeeze.
His palm felt warm against mine. ‘It’s nothing you wouldn’t have done for me,’ he said quietly. And he was right.
************************************************************************
After my near confrontation with Dr Chan, he seemed to be less quick with the name-calling. He was as vile as ever, but he refrained from calling anyone a fucking idiot, at least in my presence. It was a slim win, but I sensed it was all he was capable of.
Namjoon and I saw each other nearly every day, mostly at his flat. We had stopped for a coffee on our way into work one day when I felt his hand slide down my back, squeezing my ass.
I swatted his hand away. ‘God, Namjoon! We’re at work.’
Namjoon just chuckled. ‘Remember when I last got you a coffee?’ I flushed, remembering our bathroom encounter.
‘Ah,’ said Namjoon, eyes fixed on my face. ‘I see you do.’
A voice from behind us made me jump. ‘Y/N, Namjoon, do I need to speak to you about appropriate workplace behaviour?’
I whirled around to see Dr Black. ‘Ah, Dr Black. It’s not me you need to speak to. I’m merely a victim of this heinous behaviour.’
Namjoon spluttered. ‘Wh – what? There were way more risqué things happening at the Christmas party.’
Dr Black laughed wickedly. ‘There definitely was debauchery at the Christmas party.’
I rolled my eyes. ‘You were definitely involved in most of it.’
Namjoon sighed. ‘I’m going to catch up with Francesco.’
‘Namjoon,’ called Dr Black as he was walking away. ‘Take care of our Y/N.’
I scoffed. ‘Please. I’m more likely to die on PICU than from anything Namjoon does.’
Namjoon threw his hands up. ‘I’d rather eat in the staff canteen than do anything that might hurt Y/N.’
‘Aww,’ I cooed. ‘I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.’
************************************************************************
I stroked Namjoon’s hair as he rested his head in my lap. The flickering light from the TV gave his skin a silvery gleam. He yawned.
‘Tired?’ I murmured to him, lacing my fingers through his.
‘Let’s go to bed, baby.’
I held his hand as we traipsed into his bedroom, snuggling up in his bed.
‘They offered me an extension,’ Namjoon said, looking at me carefully as he lay, flat on his back. I turned my head to look at him.
‘What did you say?’ I asked, feeling my heartbeat accelerate as I waited for him to respond.
He turned on his side to face me. ‘I turned them down. I can’t stay. I’ve got a job lined up back home, and it’s one I’ve been working toward for the last 5 years. It’s at the largest paediatric hospital in Seoul. It’s what I’ve always wanted.’
I couldn’t look at him. ‘It sounds perfect,’ I managed.
‘I thought it was,’ he agreed. ‘It was what I wanted before I came back here and met you.’
‘That’s a non-fuckboy thing to say,’ I said, lightly.
‘I’m trying to be serious.’ Namjoon turned my face towards him, and a tear slid down my cheek as I tried rapidly to blink it away.
‘So am I,’ I said tiredly. ‘It sounds perfect Namjoon. It sounds like everything you want.’
‘It’s not all I want,’ he said, rubbing a thumb over my bottom lip. ‘I want you.’
‘Should I start learning Korean,’ I mused.
‘I said be serious,’ Namjoon groaned. ‘Don’t say things like that if you don’t mean them.’
I cupped his face. ‘I can’t come to Korea, Namjoon. I have a year left of training – I can’t leave now.’
‘So, what do we do then?’ Namjoon asked gently.
‘I don’t know, Joonie. Let’s fuck.’
‘Oh god, can you be serious for one second. I want a future with you. If there’s any chance at all for us, I can wait a year. I can wait as long as you want. I can’t let you go again,’ Namjoon pleaded.
‘I can’t hold you to that Namjoon. We can’t hold each other to that. What if you end up falling in love with one of your mum’s friends’ daughters?’ I half joked, tears slipping down my face.
Namjoon held me as I cried, stroking my hair and murmuring soft words into the top of my head. ‘I want you too, Joonie. I just don’t want to make a promise I can’t keep.’
Namjoon smiled wryly. ‘I’m the only fuckboy for you, baby.’
‘I know that, Joonie. Can we fuck now?’
Namjoon laughed. ‘I’m going to make love to you. Because I love you.’
‘I love you too.’
As I collapsed, breathless into his arms after we had made love, I pressed my face into his chest. ‘Joonie?’
‘Mmm hmm?’ he asked, rubbing a lazy circle over my shoulder.
‘That felt awfully similar to the fucking we’ve been doing up to now. Have you been making love to me this whole time?’
Namjoon was quiet. ‘I guess so.’
He paused. ‘Except in the staff bathroom. That was fucking.’
I laughed into his chest and closed my eyes. ‘Night Joonie.’
‘Night, Y/N.’
************************************************************************
Two Years Later
‘and so ultimately, the surgical reconstruction technique does not appear to have an impact on the long-term patency of the vessels. Thank you very much for listening, and I’m happy to take any questions.’
I walked down the steps leading up to podium carefully in my heels, feeling euphoric. I had just given one of the keynote presentations at an international cardiothoracics conference, and it had been well-received.
I stopped at the end of the auditorium to gather my things, checking all my valuables were still present and pausing to check my messages.
‘Hey,’ said a voice from behind me.
I froze and turned so quickly I nearly tripped on my heels. I recognised that voice.
‘Namjoon?’
And there he was, in the flesh, looking better than he had any right to look. I couldn’t stop staring at him, drinking in everything about him, from his current hair colour (chestnut brown) to his broad chest encased in a navy suit, to the subtle silver studs in his ears.
‘That was a great paper,’ he said, softly. ‘Impressive.’
I waved a hand. ‘Oh well, you know how it is. You get thrown a great project once in a while and you run with it.’ What was I even saying?
‘Hey, you want to grab a coffee?’ I blurted quickly.
He hesitated then, and a sick feeling bloomed in the pit of my stomach.
‘I don’t think I can, Y/N,’ he replied.
‘Oh sure, no worries, I guess I’ll catch you around,’ I said, rapidly stuffing my things into my bag. Clearly, he had moved on, unlike me.
‘No wait,’ he said, hand out to grab my arm as I turned to leave. ‘I can’t grab a coffee with you.’
He paused for so long that I looked up, my gaze meeting his.
‘I can’t grab a coffee with you now because I have a lecture to give in one of the breakout sessions. But what I actually want to say is I want to have dinner with you today, tomorrow, every day. I want to grab a coffee with you tomorrow, and every morning after that. I want you in my bed tonight, and every night. I need to say this now because I feel like this is our last chance, Y/N, and I don’t want to lose you without saying what I need to say.’
‘Wow,’ I breathed, ‘that’s a really non-fuckboy thing to say.’
We both laughed, and then I was in his arms. ‘I was never a fuckboy,’ he grumbled. ‘Just a nerd who fucking loves you.’
‘I love you, Joon,’ I whispered to him, my heels bringing me up high enough to brush against his ear. ‘I love you so fucking much.’
‘Fuck,’ he murmured. ‘Stop breathing my name like that. I can’t give this lecture with a boner.’
I giggled, pressing a kiss to his neck. We were starting to turn heads but for once I didn’t care.
‘Can I watch you give your lecture, Namjoon?’ I asked.
‘Sure. As long as you don’t distract me.’
‘How would I do that, Joon?’ I asked, looking up at him.
‘No actually I’m uninviting you. You are NOT allowed to come.’
‘What are you going to do, spank me?’ I muttered, following him out of the auditorium.
‘Don’t fucking tempt me,’ he replied, gaze turning dark as he looked at me. ‘Your ass looks fucking great in that dress.’
©hamsterclaw 2021
