My Self Care Documented

I will use this Tumblr as a way to motivate myself to pursue a more healthy lifestyle. This Is NOT advice for anyone, it's just my own journey.

[myselfcaredocumented]

Day....11? Post-op?... Yes. Let’s say so.

It has been a slow process. And I am an impatient girl. A part of me wanted to wake up one day and be fit, be visibly different on the mirror. Now while rationalizing, I get to confront reality and still get to the conclusion that this was the best decision for me.

I am taking preventive anti-coagulant shots since the surgery, it’s a minor hassle but it still annoys me a bit, injecting my belly everyday, and the other day I notice the shots are almost done! 3-4 more days left!

I have been also sleeping so much better! I used to wake up to pee/eat, can’t tell if it was my blatter or my stomach, but one of those buddies were messing my sleep, and that is gone.

I also lost a bunch of weight, so on and on, I could’t ask for more.

Aside from how dying bored I am at home and how all social engagements consist of eating, and while I plan to manage that when I switch to soft foods, while on liquids, social engagements that involve food are impossible. My minor complaint.

[myselfcaredocumented]

And Now for Something Completely Different

Once upon a time I went on a journey to find myself a healthy life. This journey was mainly a diet and an attempt to practice self-care. The diet failed, the journey to self-care carried on by tumultuous paths, never coming to a stop.

I decided to do a gastric bypass (I will not go into technicalities, the point of this account is to track my journey, not to inform), waited a long one and half year, had to make some rough choices, but today is the first after-bypass-night I spent at home.

So I say hoorray for that!

There is a lot of adaptation going on. I enjoy smelling food but feel no desire of eating it (which is so weird to me). I eat very small amounts, only liquids and I’m satisfied with it (again, weird).

I am recoverying from surgery, so my tummy is very unconfortable, which means my cat is pissed at me (my tummy is her fave bed ever).

My birthday is coming, and so is Christmas, and I am trying to keep my expectations low for both, regarding food or body changes. Managing expectations is quite the challenge for me.

I’m looking forward to being myself, but a bit stronger, a bit more confident.

Quoting the amazing Sarah Silverman: I for Once Can’t wait to be Better.

[myselfcaredocumented]

A Healthy picture to match my healthy motivation. After some shaky days I am now back to my mood. I am feeling positive, confident, and ready for a long run. It hasn't been the easiest of roads, but that just makes it even better.

[myselfcaredocumented]

A healthy cute meal. Pouched egg, tomato rice and a burger with fresh buffala mozarela. Feeling hopeful with the passing of time.

[myselfcaredocumented]

Late night snack. Consumed zero refined sugar today. It wasn't perfect but it is improving. In the meantime the scale gave me a good new today. One less kilo. I'm also getting back on my workout, while there's no rain to stop me.

[myselfcaredocumented]

Getting back on track.

Yesterday and today I kept my diet except for one bowl of sugared cereals. I cannot workout for now because I fell sick today. The wished forecast for tomorrow is a healthy diet, and maybe a very short walk upon improval.

[myselfcaredocumented]

Turns out "back on track" is easier said than done. Here's the only ballanced meal of the day. We get to try again tomorrow.

[myselfcaredocumented]

Takes some time to get back on track after some days of "mischiev". Some yogurt, sandwich and lemon-ginger tea.

[positivelybody]

Don’t waste time

[myselfcaredocumented]

A little update.

Turns out that the no-sugar diet of 7 days ended up failing, and I had some sweet cereals on saturday. Deppression hit me hard these last days, but to be fair, I have always been prone to this, so I am not at all sure I can blame this efford. In fact I believe the daily walks are helping keeping me afloat.

The desperation comes when I lose the true sense of “In for the long run”. It takes an efford to keep my mind positive when the numbers on the scale don’t descend after a week.

Still, I made my way into some peace of mind and feel now ready for a new week, a new month changing myself every single day. Making this journey each day more precious and eath day more unprecedented in my life.

[myselfcaredocumented]

Still going strong on the zero-sugar week. It will end by monday. Keeping it home isn't so hard, but on social event meals it get rough as hell.

[myselfcaredocumented]

I just watched a brilliant show called The Night of.

It is an amazing story with strong determined characters, and of all those characters, I focus on a secondary one. John Stone. A mediocre lawyer, a complex character struggling to find happiness even without knowing where to look.

This character has a severe psoriasis case. Making him not able to wear shoes and craving for a nice pair, keeping him from self-asurance to make any big step in his life and anchoring him to his projection of himself.

This character has an encounter with a cat, and is torn between ignoring this creature and letting them to die or protect him, compromising his own health, as his skin disease is agravated by Asthma and Alergies.

I will not romanticise the relationship of a human and a cat, I am a cat lover and my cat makes my life better everyday, but this is not what this is about. This is about your body, your health being in your way. This is about having a disease that in an abstract way keeps you from success, or in a very material way keeps you from having a source of happiness such as a pet in a lonely apartment.

This character is about superation, the one we can achieve and the one we fail at, and mourn over. This character is about your own bounderies, self-challenge and self-preservation. It’s about setbacks and minor improvments. It’s about your image of yourself and the moral aspects others project over your looks.

This character is about me. And I am thankfull for that.

[myselfcaredocumented]

Challenge: zero-sugar week. From yesterday to next monday the goal is to eat no refined sugar. Either brown or white. I'm having some trouble lately but still I found some new motivation.

[myselfcaredocumented]

I haven't felt so much like myself for a long time as I do now. New goal: make this diet/workout practice last longer than I was able to stick with my nutricionist (3 month and a half I believe). One day at a time.

[myselfcaredocumented]

Today's dinner. A lott'a lettuce and a brand new mood. Let's go for another two-month marathon!

[myselfcaredocumented]

“Life” update

It has been 2 month and 8 days (around) when I started this entire process.

I’m not currently using this blog so much, it’s mostly because I don’t take pictures of my food or because I feel I don’t need it that much. Still I believe I can improve my habits by making a record of them.

In these 2 month I’ve lost 11kg, and in what is an healthy diet, that’s as good a rate as one can hope for!

How, you asked? (I know nobody asked) I just completely cut friend food out of my life. Unless my best friend is having their birthday in an “ALL FRIED” restaurant, I’m not eating fried food. I don’t buy processed foods anymore, I invest in fresh veggies, fresh and tasty meat, good bread and lots of yogurts! I have cut back on mostly anything with refined sugar (no sweets, no sugar on tea, and so on)... Except for when I really crave it. If you’re unhappy with your food, you will one day lose it and grab a low quality chocolate and chug it all, let’s prevent this and take care of our souls as well. The one thing that is an unbreakable rule: I go for walks everyday. This is improving my mood, my motivation, helping on the weight-loss rate and leveling me up on PokemonGo!

Something that is helping a lot is accepting what I cannot change. I try to do things right, but if I miss, if the scale doesn’t give me the best news, if my sleeping schedules are far from ideal, that’s fine, and I will fix it. No pressure.

My health is improving slowly, as some of my health problems are deeply seeded in my overweight over the years.

I’m happy with myself, overall.

[myselfcaredocumented]

Salad saga!

[myselfcaredocumented]

Losing weight is a marathon. I think I never felt more ready to go the distance. Wish me luck.