schitt’s creek sentence starters
"Welcome. Hope you're enjoying the cinnamon buns and vodka. We thought it was festive in a Scandinavian sort of way."
"Well, it's always a thrill to experience a collection of nude photographs with a...new friend."
"This wine is awful. Get me another glass."
"What you did was impulsive, capricious and melodramatic, but it was also wrong."
"You are blind to reality and for that I am most proud."
"Then allow me to offer you some advice. Take a thousand naked pictures of yourself now. You may currently think "oh, I'm too spooky" or "nobody wants to see these tiny boobies" but, believe me, one day you will look at those photos with much kinder eyes and say "dear god, I was a beautiful thing."
“Stop acting like a disgruntled pelican."
"Our director appears to be on a kamikaze mission to sink this ship, and I refuse to be the goddess on its prow!"
“A pinch of moral corruption is a small price to pay."
"I like the wine and not the label, does that make sense?"
"I could not be more at one with nature. I do Coachella every year."
"I bought a cologne once in Japan. It's supposed to smell like the aftermath of a car crashing into a cedar tree."
"Congratulations on your ongoing love for one another. You did it."
"I will not feel shame about the mall pretzels."
"Fall off a bridge, please."
"That is quite possibly one of the most beautiful things I've ever heard anyone say outside of the Downton Christmas special."
"Okay, look, um. I would hardly call myself an expert on this subject and by subject, I mean genuine human emotion. So, I'm just going to tell you what I know. And you can do whatever you want with that."
"Anyone who sells counterfeit luxury beauty products is clearly a sociopath!"
“So tonight there will be a surprise and there will be tears, even if they’re just my own.”
"You make me sound like a feral cat."
“I didn't go missing. The FBI knew where I was the entire time."
"I walk through life in really nice shoes."
"I once passed off a mini horse and three guinea pigs as service animals so anything is possible."
"My car is worth less than your pants."
"You'd think there'd be more of a market for oversized paintings of other people's families."
"You're wearing a leather sweater in the dead of summer. You look good."
"I have my own holiday tradition. It's like the 12 Days of Christmas, but it's one day with 12 bottles of wine."
“I hope that someday I find someone who I can stand long enough to feel a little lost when they're not around."
"Yeah, last week she told me to dance like an Indonesian scarf caught in the wind. I don't know even know what that looks like."
